


It's all connected

by Kelady



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AA meetings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Avoidance, Bitchy Pepper, Clones, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony, Hurt/Comfort, Inhumans (Marvel), M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, More tags to be added, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Not descriptive could be triggering not going to go into detail, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Prophetic Visions, Protective Avengers, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Tony Angst, Tony Being Tony, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony doesnt talk about his ptsd, Tony-centric, Visions, always happy ending, and his problems, but wont tell avengers, but... i like steve and tony better, duplicates, i like pepper, set in like june/july 2012, sorry - Freeform, tony gives up drinking, will figure out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 92,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4336820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelady/pseuds/Kelady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony went into the portal as a human... but what if he came out different? What if he wasn't the same. Tony's saw something in chirtauri's realm. Something he doesn't want to be true... but when he wakes from an all to real feeling dream... and after that episode in the stairs.... well he doesn't know what to believe. </p><p>Tony is also suffering from PTSD and panic attacks</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! First Avengers fan fic here, so go easy on me haha. If you have an opinion on how the characters should be portrayed let me know! enjoy!

There’s a missile heading straight for Manhattan. Fury tells Tony. And Tony only. Fury and Stark both know he’s the only one that can do it.

“I can close it! Does anyone hear me?  I can shut the portal down!” Natasha shouts through the comms.

 “Do it!”  Captain says

“No, wait!” Tony shouts

“Stark these things are still coming!” Cap says back

“I got a nuke coming in, it’s gonna blow in less than a minute. And I know just where to put it.” Tony says mouth tight, but he knows it’s the only way. He flies up to the missile and he catches it.

“Stark, you know that’s a one way trip?” And he doesn’t answer because he knows that. Everyone on the team knows it.

Steve shakes his head regretting what he said to Tony. “You’re not the guy to lay down on the line and let the other guy crawl over you. To make the sacrificing play.” Tony said. “I’d cut the wire.” But no here he is saving Manhattan willing to lose himself in the process. And that’s true. Just not in the way Tony or Steve thought.

He tries and fails to call Pepper. And he flies into the abyss where all contact is lost. And that’s when he sees it. Or well, it’s really in his mind. He’s cold and the comms are down, he can’t hear Jarvis or his team. And he thinks it’s over. Surely no one will know what he saw. And then he starts falling… and losing consciousness.

And he dreams of… well something he doesn’t quite believe to be true.

~~ Meanwhile. ~~

“Come on, Stark.” Natasha doesn’t want to lose anyone. Not this time.

“Close it.” Cap says and Natasha does but Stark falls through at the last second.

Natasha smiles and Rogers says “Son of a gun.”

But Steve notices something just as Thor says

“He’s not slowing down.” Steve hopes he starts flying. he looks over to Thor who starts swinging his hammer, but Hulk catches him and brings him to the ground. Thor whips off his helmet to find a nonmoving stark. Oh god. He can’t be dead. And the hulk roars and Stark snaps his eyes open taking a deep breath.

“What the hell? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.” Stark returns to his usual self.

“We won.” Steve smiles.

“Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma. There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is but I wanna try it.”

“Where not finished yet.” Thor looks up at the stark tower. Tony sighs inwardly.

“And then shawarma after.”

 

They head up to the Stark tower and see Loki.

 

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll have that drink.” And Tony almost smirks. But then he remembers the dream.  
“I need a minute alone with reindeer games over here.” He says gruffly.  
“Stark, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Steve says.  
“Well capsicle, with you down the hall and his “Army” gone, and his staff thing, I don’t see what he can do.”

“Why?” Natasha asks.  
“Just… please.” Stark asks. And Steve thinks that’s the first time he was genuine…  
“Okay... guys...” and they follow him out.

“I saw you. You went in. And now you want to know what you saw. And yes it is permanent.”

“Permanent?”  
“Your visions. And they’re of the future.”  
“Visions? You’re lying.”  
“Why would I lie? And just so you’re aware… they will come at any time… and you can’t stop them. Or well, I can’t or know how. Maybe you should ask _Thor_. He could… ask mother. But no. You won’t admit that anything is wrong, because you fear what they will say. And you should. You are no longer just a Midgardian. You are not fully hum-“  
“SHUT UP!”  
“Oh… and here the _avengers_ come running. Saving the man who isn’t made of iron” And he’s right they all rush back in due to his outburst.  
“Tell them and I will kill you.” Tony threatens.  
“Nothing better will happen for me in asgard.” He smirks  
“What happened?’  
“Nothing. I just… it’s nothing. Thor?”  
“Come on brother. We will return home in order for you to live out your punishment.” And Loki just smirks.  


They meet in the park as Thor and Loki are going back to Asgard.  
“I think I may stay… help fix some damage.” Steve says casually.  
“I mean, I live here so…” Tony comments  
“I can’t.  need to be somewhere… else.” Banner explains  
“We understand. Me and Clint may have missions, but… we’ll be back. If and when we’re needed at the latest.” Natasha says as Clint nods.

“Well… Bye?” Steve asks.  
“For now.” Nat replies. And they go their separate ways.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! So here's another chapter! hope you enjoy! (Edited is just changing a word. Don't need to re-read.)

Tony heads back in his Tower to plan the new Tower. And he has some ideas. He works with Pepper on the details of the building… but soon she leaves.  
  
“Tony. We need to talk.” Pepper walks up to him with a small frown.  
“Sure babe. What’s up?” He asks nonchalantly.  
“I… I’m moving out.”  
“Why?” Tony asks confused.  
“I’m sorry. I mean… I want to break up. You almost _died_ and I can’t lose you, so I’m letting you go.” Pepper says eye full of tears.

“Letting me go? For saving the world!” Tony gapes.

“How do I know you will come back? Don’t answer. You can’t change my mind. Were done Tony. I’m sorry. I’m not gonna be the girl who makes you choose between iron man and me so don’t even say you’ll give it up. I love you so I’m not gonna do it. Plus the world kind of needs you.”  
  
“But I need you!” He takes a deep breath. “Pepper, I _need_ you _._ ”  
  
“I’m sorry Tony.

“Then go. JUST GO!” and she did. And damn if he hadn’t given up drinking he’d need one. Or ten. But instead he goes to work on the avenger’s tower. Yea he put Avengers on it, to make it so everyone knows where they’re staying. He just needs to get them say yes. He thought they could be a family. But they’d laugh if they knew. He works on floor by floor.

First ten floors are offices.

Then a medical bay, that Tony refuse to call a hospital because he knows how he and the avengers feel about hospitals.

Then he has labs. 2 floors of labs. One for his employees. Then one for Bruce.

Then he has a full gym for Steve. He made it look like an old gym from the 40’s. He added a training room for Natasha and an Archery range for Clint. He pulled it so it takes up two floors but it’s just is one with stairs and it’s very open and nice.

Then there’s Natasha’s floor.

Clint’s.

Steve’s.

Bruce (with an impenetrable room that has access to outside.)

Thor (which also has an exit he can fly out of).

Each floor has a mini kitchen and living space. Bathroom and guest bath and bed room. An oversized closet. And a specialized room according to the person.

Then there is a common floor. With a full kitchen, open living space, a TV/ movie room with a huge screen TV and recliner chairs. And a few half baths. And a very nice open bar… that’s currently collecting dust. And the roof where he takes off his armor leads to that floor.

Then there is His lab which can only be entered from the common room or his room through stairs. Which has an access pad only given to him, through Jarvis and he can temporarily give an avenger access. And besides Rhodey and Pepper, no one else is given access through Jarvis. He has to give it to them manually.

And then finally you have the pent house. Tony’s room, kitchen, living space. And basically it’s a very nice apartment.

He doesn’t have a “special room” because he has the lab, and he doesn’t plan on using it anything more than sleeping. If he’s lucky enough to get some.

All this adds up to 23 amazing floors.

He stuck suits in the walls of almost every Avengers floor. Not including personal floors. Just in case. Because when you’re an Avenger… Danger is everywhere. And he thinks he may be paranoid but…

Now for the hard part. Convincing them to move in. It’s been 8 weeks since New York and he’s had no visions and he thinks it may have been a fluke. That Loki was wrong. But for now Tony decides to finally call.  
  
“Rogers.” He answers the phone

“Hey Capsicle.” Tony responds playing off his nerves. It’s just Steve?

“Stark.” He sounds shocked. I guess he didn’t realize he has caller id? Or maybe he thought it was pepper.

“So… I want to show you something at the Tower. Maybe you come by soon?” he asks, calmly.  
  
Rogers pauses for a moment before answering.

“Yea… sure. How’s tomorrow at 2?”  
“Perfect. See you then.”

He hangs up hopeful. He goes down to his lab to finish the chains and punching bag he made. It’s strong enough so even Steve can’t break it. It’s made of adamantium, and well  Steve won’t break it. And he finishes at one thirty in the morning. He brings it down and hangs it up in the gym. He decides to call it a night.  
  
“Sir, I recommend you eat something you haven’t had anything in over 31 hours.”  
He sighs.  
“Dummy, make me a smoothie. And no motor oil this time.” He sighs walking into the kitchen. And when it’s done, he drinks it. And nearly throws up.  
“Dummy!”  
“Sir, there is nothing harmful in there, I suggest drinking it anyway.” So he does. He heads up to his room to sleep.

 

~  
Tony looks around panicked. So much destruction. He just doesn’t know what to do. Buildings on fire, people dying in the street screaming. He holds back his panic attack and flies down to Steve.  
“How you doing Cap?” Tony screams though the noise. Steve turn and throws his shield as Tony blasts one out of the way.  
“We need to keep a better perimeter.”  
“What are we gonna do? We can’t hold this forever?!?” Tony says a little more than panicked. He knows he’s gonna have the biggest panic attack later, but he’s trying to stay focused.

“We need to take out the head!” Steve shouts as Tony shoots the thing. He doesn’t know what it is.  
“Steve… we can’t… there’s to many of them…” Tony can’t help the panic in his voice but Steve doesn’t notice.

Tony drops down and lasers at least 9 of them but they keep coming back. One turns and points a laser at Steve as tony shoots it, but it’s too late! There’s nothing tony can do but watch.

~

Tony wakes with a gasp. He can feel the realness of the dream. Not like his others. The memories. No this was new. Like… Like when he was in… he shakes his head sweating and panting.  
  
“Lights!” He says having JARVIS turn them on.

“Sir, your breathing is elevated, you should try and control your breathing before you hyperventilate and have another panic attack.”

Yes another panic attack is exactly what he needs. He sighs.

“Great advice J.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Not fully getting sarcasm.

He slows his breathing preventing one, luckily. He looks at the clock.

6 am. 4 hours. Not bad. He gets out of bed and takes a long ass shower. He lets the cold water run over him, before shutting off the water and getting out.

He goes down to the lab and gets to work on those better grappling hooks for Clint. He has a good one but it won’t work on concrete and he’s making one that will.  
  
“Sir, Mr. Rogers is here.”  
“Already? Hmm. Send him to the common room.” He says standing up. He walks up the stairs as the elevator opens.  
  
“Hey Cap.”  
“Stark.” They sit awkwardly for a moment before he speaks up.  
“So, as you have probably noticed, the tower now says ‘Avengers’…”  
“I noticed. I just wondered why?”  
“Well, I made it livable for all the Avengers and I want you and the team to move in. Rent free. So we can be on call. And before you say anything let me show you your floor.”  
“Floor?” Steve asks shocked.  
“Yea, I had the space.” Tony shrugs.  
“That’s a little extreme don’t you think?”

“No. Just come see yours. Well were gonna start with the gym and work our way up.” Steve nods. We take the elevator down to the 14th floor. And the door opens and Steve steps out.  
  
Steve’s eyes widen.  It a brand new gym but with an old timey feeling. It has old a boxing ring, weights, WWII propaganda posters, some even with Captain America. His unbreakable punching bag. It’s all new machines but it has that made to look old. Mostly because tony built them just for him.

“Also you can’t break that punching bag… its unbreakable.”

“Wow.”  
“And there is also a room, where Nat can practice knife throwing and Clint can have archery practice. And a firearms range.”  
“Wow.”  
“You like it?”  
“Yeah, I do.”  
“Well, wait to you see your room.” Steve nods punching it lightly as if to test it. We walk to the elevator.

“You gave everyone a floor?”  
“Yea, I have a lab for Bruce, I have a gym and training area for you, Nat, Clint. And I guess if Thor wanted one too, but the gym was designed for you. The knives and range were for Nat and the archery is for Clint, although they’re accessible to everyone. Thor does have his own floor, but I’m not sure how much use it will get. I also have a medical bay in because I _hate_ hospitals. And I bet the Avengers do too.”

Steve thinks there has to be a story behind Tony not liking hospitals but he doesn’t ask.

“Look, Tony.-“  
“No don’t say no until we see your floor.” Tony says quickly, worried.

“No that’s not what I was gonna say. I just wanted to apologize for what I said the morning before the battle of New York. You were willing and did make the sacrificing play, and luckily you survived. And I just want you to know I’m sorry. That I was wrong.”  
“Oh… it’s okay. I wouldn’t have thought so either.” Tony says uncomfortable.

“I think you did, but I just want to say sorry and thank you for saving us.” Tony nods and hits floor 17.

“So, you designed this just for me?”  
“Um well yes, but if you don’t like it you can buy new paint and furniture, the lay out is obviously staying the way it is, but it’s identical on every floor and I didn’t think there would be a problem with it.” Just as Steve’s about to respond the elevator dings and the door opens.

The first thing you see is the little living space. The floor is wooden with a few rugs. The couch is new, but it has a retro look. Same with the table, but it still looks new. There are some paintings, and to be honest this Tony‘s least favorite room. This was the standard room, that couldn’t be so special. Steve walks towards the kitchen to see it’s all modern, he didn’t make that look “Historical” because he should have some modern stuff and he figured a kitchen was important. And Steve is old fashioned and would like to cook most meals.  
“This is just part of it, I have designed your bed room and well another room. You’ll see.” Tony says leading Steve to the bedroom.

Steve’s bed room is has new bedframe dressers and vanity, but it has an old classical feel. It looks vintage, and Tony had then specially designed. The blanket is a quilt that has a pattern that looks a little patriotic, but has some modern feel. Tony thought it was important that he have some old and some new. He is gonna be living in this year, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have some home feeling things. Tony doesn’t want it, but he doesn’t want to think about it. He glances over at Steve and he is walking around the bed.  
  
“The mattress is the best of the best. So if you get hurt, just in case, you have somewhere comfortable.”

Steve sits on it.  
“Wow, my bed back… well let’s just say it’s closer to the carpet.” Yes, this room has a light blue fuzzy carpet to match the baby blue walls. “There’s one more room I think you’ll like.” Steve walks out following Tony. Tony walks down the hall.  
“Okay, so this is your special room, which sounds stupid, but I made a room specially designed for each person so they feel comfortable here. This is yours.” He opens the door

The room is beautiful. It’s a chestnut red, he went to visit Peggy, to see what she thought he’d like and what his favorite color was. He didn’t get much in the hour he was there, but he did learn that this was his favorite color. It has what Tony would call, “Antique” furniture. It was made to be a library/study. Everyone knows that Steve wanted to be in the army all his life, but Tony figured maybe now, he’d like to maybe go to school or read or something.  There’s an old vintage captain America Poster, that was actually Tony’s when he was a kid. But he doesn’t think he’ll tell him. Another picture is over New York in the 40’s. There is also an old grandfather clock that took tony weeks to track down. It was the one from Steve’s house. He walks up to it.  
“You go this?” his voice raw  
“Yea, I tracked it down, 4 people owned it after you I tracked them down and bought it for you. I thought it’d make a nice touch. You don’t like it?”  
“No I love it…”

“I didn’t hold back. And if you don’t like something or want to add something you all have a credit card with unlimited funds.”

Steve’s face turns from happy to regretful “Tony, I can’t accept this!”

“Why not?” Tony notices the use of his first name.

“It’s too much! Tony how much did you spend on all of us?”  
“You mean each floor or the avengers as a whole?”  
“The avengers.” Steve says.  
“Um… just above a milli-“  
“a million! Tony! Seriously? How could you spend so much on us? You don’t even know if we’ll say yes!”

“Well.” Tony shifts uncomfortably. Which doesn’t go unnoticed by Steve who frowns. “I have the money. If we’re gonna be a team… I mean it’s not like after Loki I didn’t have to redo these floors anyway, so I thought… I don’t know! I’m rich! I can spend my money how I want! Don’t stay here if you don’t want. It’ll just go to waste.”

Tony turns around and starts walking towards the elevator. How could Steve say that? I guess no one really knows him. No one probably ever will especially after pepper. He just wants to be a famil- a team. Why would Tony want a family? That’s ridiculous! He has everything he’s ever wanted. To be carefree. Without anyone. But why is it so lonely now? He sighs.

“Stupid idiot” He mumbles to himself.  
He feels a hand on his shoulder. He shakes it off and turns around.

“What?” he says a little angrily. “Just go home Steve.” And the emotion in his voice is _hurt_. Steve looks at him shocked. He’s never been anything but joking and arguing between them. Tony’s only ever been arrogant with him. Never… vulnerable. Also Tony’s never called Steve, Steve. Only Captain, Capsicle and various other names.

“Tony, I just wanted to apologize.”  
“Just forget it, it’s fine it was a dumb idea. I just… Pepper was right, I’ll see you when I see you.”  
“No tony, you’re not… look it’s a great idea. I’d love to move in. I can get my stuff and be here tomorrow!”  
“No, it’s fine I don’t want you to do something because you feel bad. That’d just be worse. You probably made a home anyway. JARVIS, bring the elevator up for Cap, here.” Steve frowns at the name he used.

“Yea.. I just need to go get my stuff. Tony, I’m staying.”  
“Really?” Tony asks, a little hopeful, but also a little himself. Steve doesn’t know how to describe it.

“Yea, I just… there’s one thing I want to change.”  
“Uh… okay. Sure. I’ll get you your credit card.”  
“No, I mean… I want a place to put my uniform. And shield.”  
“Huh, I have one upstairs, and you have a closet, so we could… hmm. I have an idea. I’ll get back to you on that.” Tony nods mind moving at a thousand thoughts a minute.  
“Alright. I also have a favor to ask.”  
“Uh... Sure?”  
“I need to go clothes shopping, considering I have like 3 shirts, but… Shield doesn’t pay for-“  
“I told you, you’re getting a credit card. Use it on whatever you like. I have over 4 billion dollars. I think we can afford to get you some new clothes. Buy whatever you like, actually. You don’t need to ask me. You want whatever just go for it.”

“Thanks Tony. Really.”

“It’s no problem, it’s not like I’m struggling here.”

“Yea, but you don’t have to, and you do. I wish there was something I could do in return.”  
“I’ll let you know.” Tony and Steve chuckle. “I have to contact Natasha and Clint. And Banner. And Thor. So. I’ll see you later?”

“Well, I do live here.” Steve Jokes

“good point.” Tony smiles genuinely

Steve walks to the elevator and to avoid awkwardness Tony heads to the stairs.

“See you later Steve.” Steve nods as Tony heads up the stairs. He get’s up a flight and half before he grabs the rail as there is a blinding pain in his head, and he screams clutching it falling to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, for the slight delay. I got a puppy and i'm watching my grandparents dog so I've been busy. I haven't had much free time, but don't worry, she's leaving tomorrow, So more chapters to come!

Previously:

“See you later Steve.” Steve nods as Tony heads up the stairs. He get’s up a flight and half before he grabs the rail as there is a blinding pain in his head, and he screams clutching it falling to the floor.

~

“STEVE!” Steve falls to the floor.  
“Rogers?” he says after covering him as it’s taking Captain a few seconds to get up.  
“I’m okay. Just hurt like a-“  
“Tony. He’s here. You need to go get him.” Nat says through the comms cutting Steve off.  
“Okay, Thor I need you down here, to cover Steve. He’s injured, but he’s okay. I don’t know how many more hits he can take.” Lighting strikes and he lands  
“I will cover him man of Iron. Go.”  
And without another word he goes to where Nat said on the roof top. He flies to the top. And straight to him. Then there’s a blinding pain and-  
~

“TONY?!?! Can you hear me?!” Tony snaps his eyes open to see Steve standing over him.  
“Why are you shouting?”  
“Because you’ve been lying on the ground clutching your head screaming for like 5 minutes!”  
“Really? It didn’t feel that long…”  
“What is going on? Are you okay?”  
“Fine, I just… uh my arc reactor malfunctioned. I’m building a uh new one… so it won’t.” Tony lies. He can came up with that quick.  
“Well, you should work on that…”  
“Yea… I’ll go work on it… how’d you get to me anyway? I thought you left.”  
“JARVIS told me you were having some sort of fit… didn’t know what he met till I found you here screaming. I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought you were having an aneurism. “  
“Nah, just some techy shit you wouldn’t get. Help me stand up.” He grabs Steve’s hand and Steve basically picks Tony up. He leans on the rail.  
“Damn, that hurt.“  
“Alright.” Steve says unconvinced. “As long as you’re okay.”  
“I am. I always am.” Tony gets steady on his feet.  
“Alright. We’ll I’ll see you later?”  
“Yup.” Tony nods.  
“Okay… call me if you need anything.” Steve says serious  
“I will.”  
“No you won’t." Steve says shaking his head. "See you later.” Steve starts walking down the stairs.  
“bye.” Tony says once he’s a few floors down.

Instead Tony heads up. When he gets up to his floor he call out for JARVIS.

“JARVIS, call Romanoff. Tell her she needs to come to the Stark tower, alone. Tell her I need to show her something.”  
“Yes, Sir.” He sits down.  
“She said she’d be here in 5 minutes.”  
“5 minutes!”  
“She was already on her way Sir. With Clint.”  
“Why?”  
“She did not say.” Tony sighs.  
“When they gets here, send them to the common floor.”  
“Yes, Sir.”  
Tony heads to the common floor and to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of water out of the kitchen.  
These dreams are freaking him out.  
Visions. That’s what Loki said. They seem so real, and he gets this pit in his stomach, and it feels so... real. Like he’s there. He takes a sip of his water.  
“I’m surprised you’re not having a drink. You know it’s 4:30…” Clint pulls him from his thoughts.  
“Well, I was waiting to drink with you princess.”  
“Guys, stop flirting. Stark, why’d you call?”  
“Why were you on your way?”  
“Because Fury wanted us to check in.”  
“Well… I’m fine…. Okay so I wanted to see if you wanted to move in.” Tony just goes for it. And there is silence. “Captain’s moving in tomorrow, and I haven’t talked to Banner or Thor, but you each have a floor. And I made a training floor for you guys. So... if you want to see it.”  
“You want us to move in?” Clint asks shocked.  
“Yea, I thought we shouldn’t be at the ends of the earth in case we’re needed we’re all right here. And as you probably saw, I made it the avenger’s tower…”  
“And you got Rogers to move in? I thought you hate each other.”  
“Well you should see his gym. Plus it’s rent free and I’m basically paying for everything so.”  
“I don-“  
“We’d love to see it.” Natasha finally cuts in.  
“Alright. Follow me. We’ll start at the gym, which has a place for you two.”  
He heads towards the elevator. They get in and tony presses the button.  
“So… that’s what you’ve been doing and why you haven’t checked in with Fury?” Romanoff asks.  
“Fury called? JARVIS?”  
“Fury has indeed called and left several voice messages.” JARVIS relies  
“Hmmm. I guess I was busy.”  
“Guess so.” The floor dings and the elevator opens.  
“This is Rogers spot, but it’s available to all.”  
They take it all in.  
“No wonder he wanted to stay.” They nod  
“If you follow me we’ll go the Range first.” They head down a hallway to a room. That has a fully functioning artillery range. With a range of weapons hanging on the walls ammo locked in a chest. There are also knives and a throwing knives range. If that’s what you call it.  
“All state of the art, best money can buy.” Natasha walks to the range.  
“Alright. I’m sold. I don’t need to see anymore. I also think it’s a great idea. All of us under one roof.”  
Natasha is secretly agreeing with Tony hoping they can be a family, because she’s never had one.  
“First I want to see my archery range.” Clint says  
“Alright.” We walk down some stairs and a full archery range, with different lengths and different heights to practice.  
“I also made you some grappling hook arrows… I know you have some… but these are made out of admantium, so they can dig through anything. That’s what Rogers punching bag is made of. But they’re not fully done yet.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay?” Tony asks shocked  
“Yeah.”  
“ You don’t want to see your rooms?”  
“If it’s anything like this… I’m good. Nat?”  
“Nah, when can we move in?”  
“Whenever you want. Seriously. Also if you don’t like something you’re all getting credit cards so… get whatever you want. Money is clearly not an issue.”  
“Cool. I’ll move in tomorrow, Nat?”  
“Sure. I just have to call my land lord. It’s not like I ever even use the place.”  
“Cool. Well… I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
“Sounds good.” Tony takes the elevator to the top while Nat and Clint head for the stairs since they want to check out there room by themselves.  
Alright. Tony thinks. He tracked down Banner, now he just needs to go get him.  
“JARVIS, ready my suit.”  
“Suit is ready, Sir.” Tony opens his arms.  
“Set destination for Banner.” Guy probably doesn’t have a cell phone. The suit flies to him and he takes off.

~~~~~~ Somewhere in south America~~~~~~~

“Come on.” Banner says as he sees Iron Man fly closer. Tony lands.  
“Ready to go home?”  
“Tony.”  
“Bruce. I have made you a nice floor, with a hulk proof room. Come on. I need my science buddy. I made you a nice lab, with equipment for the type of Doctor you are! Just come check it out. You’re an avenger! Rogers, Romanoff, and Barton are all living there. Just you and Thor left! State of the art technology not were having Nokia is top notch!”  
“Tony.” Tony lifts his helmet and gives him a “You better give in because you know how this can get” look.  
“Fine.”

~~~~Back in NY~~~~

Everyone is on the common floor and settling in on the couches. Except Thor who couldn’t be contacted yet.  
“I don’t know how to contact Thor, so… when he gets back I’ll let him know. Everyone like their floor?”  
“Oh yea, I love it here.” Steve says and everyone agrees. “The gym, I love it. I don’t even need to pay a membership. Like a membership? We paid a fee and then we could just go! Or the YMCA for free! And that punching bag, hasn’t broken yet.”  
“And it won’t. Guaranteed.” Tony grins.  
“After New York, it all seemed so hopeless, but now…” Tony’s face drops, and his breathing is rough.  
“Yea, but now….” Nat says. “If there weren’t that many deaths, well it brought us together.” Tony’s blood is rushing to his face. He needs to leave. He clears his throat.  
“I’ll be back.” So he stands up and runs to his lab.  
His vision is going in and out and his breathing is rugged.  
Flash backs of Chitauri. Death everywhere. He can’t breath. He bangs into the table.

 

“What do you think that was about?” Steve asks back in the common floor. Bruce stands up.  
“I’m gonna go check on him.” He heads to the lab entrance and tries the door is locked.  
“JARVIS, let me in.”  
“Sir, has to give me permission. I will ask.”  
Tony doesn’t hear JARVIS he only hears the blood in his ears as he tries to control his breathing.  
“Sir, is currently not able to respond.”  
“What does that mean? If he’s in danger let me in!”  
“Sir, said.”  
“Let me in! Before I hack you.”  
The door slides open and Bruce runs down the stairs. He see’s Tony leaning on the table, breathing hard.  
“Tony?” Bruce taps Tony’s shoulder. Tony jumps back, and looks up. He takes a second to breath, trying to control his breathing.  
“Bruce.” He says trying to focus. He puts his finger up. He puts his hands on his knees and bends over. After a minute he stands up.  
“What are you doing down here? JARVIS?”  
“You were unresponsive during the attack, and needed medical help.”  
“NO I DIDN’T!”  
“Attack? Tony, why did you have a panic attack?”  
“I didn’t. I just ran down here really fast and….” Tony looks at Bruce’s face. “Fine. I had a panic attack. It’s nothing I can handle it.”  
“Tony, why did you have a panic attack, all we were talking about was NY… oh. Tony.” And his voice is pitying and Tony glares.  
“What? It’s nothing.” Tony says with a glare. “Don’t tell them.”  
“Tony, you shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s okay.”  
“That I have PTSD, and they don’t? You guys went through the same things, and are fine. It’s embarrassing and you can’t tell them.”  
“Tony, it’s not embarrassing people handle things differently. Are you sleeping?”  
“Yes.” Tony lies.  
“Tony, I can see you’re not, just looking at you.” Bruce sighs  
“Then why’d you ask?” Tony stands up, “Leave, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about. Please go. JARVIS, show Dr. Banner the way out.”  
“Tony.”  
“JARVIS.”  
“I know the way out Tony, I just think you should… talk about it. To someone.”  
“I talk to JARVIS about it. You can’t tell them”  
“Okay, but JARVIS can’t help you.”  
“Yes, I designed him too. Just leave. I’m fine.”  
“Tony.”  
“GET OUT!” Tony shouts  
“Okay…” Bruce obviously wants to say more, but… he heads up the stairs. Tony falls on the couch. God damn.

“Is he okay?” Bruce heads back to the floor with a frown on his face.  
“Um… yea, he just got a little light headed. You know him, he hasn’t eaten in a while, and doesn’t want to seem… weak? But, he’s eating and is fine now.” Bruce hates lying. Especially to his team, but he promised he wouldn’t.  
“Okay, well JARVIS?”  
“Yes, Captain Rogers?”  
“Tell, Tony, I’ll cook dinner tonight.”  
“I will inform Sir.”  
“You know, he was like… Screaming on the floor clutching his head for like 5 minutes when I came to visit. He said it was his arc reactor, which I know nothing about but isn’t that his heart?” Steve looks at Bruce. Bruce doesn’t know what that is actually.  
“I mean, his arc reactor, is in his heart, so I don’t think it could affect his head… but it’s possible. Tony would know for certain.”  
“He seems to be avoiding talking. You know he does all this for us, but he’s not… himself.” Steve responds  
“What do you mean? not himself?” Nat asks  
“I mean… Pepper hasn’t been around, and I said a thank you for all of this, and he got… uncomfortable old tony would just be all casual he acted like it was like bad, and he didn’t... I don’t know deserve it? I haven’t seen him have one drink, but he always looks tired. And I know he doesn’t sleep like a normal person, but even for him. I’m just concerned.”  
“And when he ran out of here. It’s strange, it’s like he’s not telling us something.” Natasha says. And Bruce feels bad for not telling them, but… what can he do. It’s Tony’s issue to tell.  
“We’ll keep an eye on him. Bruce? What did he say when you were with him?”  
“Not much. Basically he hasn’t eaten a while… and he was dizzy and needed to eat and didn’t want to make a big deal. That was really it.” He hates lying.  
“Hmm… Well, I guess we’ll see.”

 

“Sir, Captain Rogers asked me to inform you that he would cook dinner for you tonight.”  
“Cook dinner? Hmm, alright thanks J.”  
“No problem Sir.”  
Tony gets back to working on Barton’s grappling hook when blaring alarms go off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! hope you enjoy!

previously: 

Tony gets back to working on Barton’s grappling hook when blaring alarms go off.

~

“J? What Is that?” Tony perks up

“It seems I am being overridden.”  
“Code 7665, J!” And Jarvis shuts off so he can’t be hacked or broken. He unlocks the door manually and runs up the stairs to see the Avengers standing around looking for the threat.  
“Stark! What is that?” Steve ask  
“I have no idea!” Tony says a little more than panicked. “They were trying to hack JARVIS so I shut him off, Just in case, but that means the tower has less defense. Of course it has a lot… but JARVIS is the best, but if they went straight for him…”  
“They have to know where we are. GET IN UNIFORM quick!” Steve directs. Tony opens his arms as everyone darts for their gear. When Tony puts his suit on, he realizes they weren’t going for JARVIS, they were going for him.  
“Why hello, Tony Stark.” He hears in his ear. Tony looks for his team. He walks to find them as he speaks  
“Who are you? What are you doing? What do you want?” Tony demands.  
“One question at a time. Who I am is not currently important.”  
“I think it is.” He sees Steve come in, and puts his finger to his mouth and points to his head. Steve lips “He’s listening?” Tony writes down, “he’s talking to me”

“Well, Mr. Stark, What I am doing is hacking your files. I’m looking for certain information… and well… I guess that answers your questions. Now for mine. What is project SAINT?”  
“What?” Tony asks baffled. “How do you know about that?”  
“I am a hacktivist.”  
“No, you’re a terrorist.”  
“Well, you are good at avoiding. Tell me what Project SAINT is and I’ll let you all live.”  
“Ha, yea you can’t kill us.”  
“Maybe not physically, but I know things about you guys that your team doesn’t even know.”  
“Yea okay.” Natasha comes in and Steve whispers what’s going on. They can’t hear the guy, but they can hear him

“Then how do I know about your visions?” Tony actually takes a step back getting the attention of the teams.  
“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!” The rest of the team has shown up and are now watching him with concern.  
“I observe. And I’ve been watching you since before the battle of New York, and I’ll let you in on a secret. Phil Coulson isn’t dead. He’s very much alive and they didn’t tell you because you’re not level 7.” He laughs at something he doesn’t get.  
“Now. What is Project SAINT? I know it stands for Scientific Advancements In Newer Technology. I want to know what you’re working on.”  
“SHIELD doesn’t negotiate.”  
“No, but I’m not talking to SHIELD. I’m talking to billionaire Tony Stark. How important are your secrets?”  
Tony clenches his mouth. Steve is getting furry on the phone.  
“We are currently working on clean energy.” And he’s not lying. But there are some things that are worth a fortune.

“Bull, what are you working on?”  
“Clean and self-sustaining energy. I promise you. The Avengers Tower is running itself for a year.”  
“Then why so secretive. I haven’t seen much press about it?”  
“You hacked my tower for that?” Tony actually starts laughing. And then the connection is lost, and the alarms go off. He takes his helmet off and gear. And chuckles. The suit sends back into the wall.  
“He hacked me to find out about project SAINT. Oh my god.” He laughs.  
“What’s project SAINT Stark?” Steve asks   
“Seriously?”  
“Just tell us.” Natasha says gravely.  
“Oh my god, you all think all I work on is gadgets and the floors? The Avengers Tower is the only self-sustaining building in the world full of clean energy. This building has no carbon footprint. Seriously? You thought I was working on what? Weapons? I gave that up.” Tony shakes his in disappointment. He changed and they don’t even believe him. Show’s him what they really think of him. He sighs. Nobody says anything. “I’ll see you guys later. I need to manually turn JARVIS back on.” He heads to the stairs to manually types in the password.  
“Tony.” Bruce says.  
“Don’t bother.” He opens the door and heads down. He sighs and heads to the panel.  
He opens it and connects two wires and another until the lights turn on and he releases them.  
“Booting up… Booting up… Booting up…” He hears an unfamiliar voice say.  
“Sir, I am back online. He is currently out of the system. And I will be up and running in approximately 2 minutes and 37 seconds.”  
“Thanks, J.”

 

 

“Wow, I guess we give Tony less credit then we should.” Nat says.  
“But…” Steve’s protest dies on his lips.  
“No, we do. And I think we should go talk to him.” Nat says  
“He won’t give us access. He has to give permission…” Bruce sighs.  
“Can you hack it?” Clint asks Bruce.  
“I can… but I don’t think he’ll appreciate it. I think he’ll be even more upset.” Bruce says with a sigh.  
“Yea. I guess we should let him cool off. But we can tell JARVIS, we want to talk to him and apologize.”  
“Yea…. JARVIS? Can you let Tony know we’re sorry and we want to make it right.”  
“I will inform Sir, Captain Rogers.”  
“Thanks JARVIS.” After a minute of silence Steve’s phone rings.  
“Rogers.” Says seeing it’s SHIELD.  
“Cap, we have a mission. Gather the team, and meet us at the hub.”  
“Yes Sir.” He hangs up. “That was Furry, we have a mission. We need to get stark and head over.  JARVIS inform Stark we need him at the HQ for a mission.”  
“I will inform Sir, Captain Rogers.”

 

Tony is sitting in his lab trying to do the breathing exercises, but failing.  
“Sir, Rogers would like me to inform you that they would like to apologize and speak with you.”  
Tony snorts. He takes in a breath rolls his eyes.  
They are so… blissfully ignorant. But Tony can think about them later. Right now he wants to know if Coulson is still alive. Because that’s pretty important information. If Fury lied to them. Well, lets just say there will be some avenging. 

“Sir, Rogers would like me to inform you that Director Fury called. There is a mission and he needs you at HQ.”  
“Well JARVIS. You know what to do.” He opens his arms and the suit flies towards him, and he flies hoping to get some information before the rest of the “team” gets there.  
  
  
“Do you think he’s going by himself?” Cap asks  
“Yea, guys suit up and head to the jet.” Bruce responds. Bruce goes to his floor to change into his expanding pants Tony made for him. He see’s Stark flying away and he sighs at how crappy the rest of the team treats him. Maybe he’ll talk to them.

 

Back at HQ Tony is landing and heading into the briefing room. He see’s agent Hill.  
“Tell Fury I need to speak to him before the rest of the team gets here.”  
“Fury's a busy man. He-“  
“Tell him it’s about Phil Coulson.” Agent Hill looks shocked then skeptical… then nods. Not 2 minutes later Fury enters the room.  
“What Stark-“  
“Phil Coulson isn’t dead.” And he says it as a statement not a question.  
Fury studies him for a moment.  
“No, he’s not.”  
“I’d like to know how.” Fury gives him a look.  
“You don’t have level 7 clearance.”  
“Why do people keep saying that?” Tony wonders aloud.  
“People?” This catches Fury's attention. “Who told you this information?”  
“Someone hacked into my tower. They wanted info, but they also had a lot. They knew about Phil and few other not important things. I didn’t really think about it,  but maybe I should have. He said, “I observe and I’ve been watching since the Battle of New York.”… JARVIS, start a hack, figure out who he is. Anything.”  
“Yes, Sir.”  
“Stark.” And Fury looks worried. Which when he’s worried we should be scared. “We have a threat, and they have information. Is there any way this could be our guy?”

“He said he was a hacktivist, I called him a terrorist. He’s also good with technology and the latest gadgets. At least that’s what I gathered.  But, what is the threat doing?”  
“They’re not doing anything yet really, They’re posting videos and threats about some serious shit. Like sing alien technology to wipe out towns, cities and counties. They’re even says they can contact aliens and such to brig them here and we don’t need another Battle. They’ve  followed through on some threats and we think with a little time they could become a major threat to this world. Which why we’re sending you into explore.”

“Explore or take out?”  
“Whatever is necessary.”  
“Understood.” The teams burst through the door in a comic book hero fashion, like a V formation. And Tony keeps the serious look on his face, but he holds back a chuckle.  
“What’s the threat?” Cap looks between Stark and Fury.  
“I was just telling Stark, we have a group, run by a person, possibly the same person who hacked the Stark Tower-“  
“Avengers.”  
“What?”  
“It’s just... It’s the Avengers Tower… not the Stark Tower… continue.” Furry gives him a glare.  
“The Avengers tower. She has-“  
“She?” Tony asks.  
“What? A threat can’t be female?” Natasha asks. Which Tony sends a glare proving his point from earlier.  
“Of course it can, but the guy on the phone… was a GUY. SO, either our girl has a partner or we have a second threat to deal with.”

“Well, I guess we’ll see. Anyway,” Fury continues taking in all of the information.  “She, has been posting threats online through social media. She has talked about alien technology and bringing in more aliens warriors. Skye, one of our agents from shield has traced a location out in Arlington Texas. We’re sending you in to explore. See what’s what, evaluate the situation and report back to me. Back here we will make a decision and you will follow orders. Understood?”  
“Yes sir.” Everyone says but Tony, but no one notices. Alien technology, maybe, but Alien soldiers… it sounds a little familiar and he’s not talking about New York. And that really worries Tony.

“Okay, grab your comms and head out.” They nod and go, tony puts down his helmet and heads to the quinjet. He decides now would be a great time to talk to them team while they’re all stuck on a plane together and if shit hits the fan, well… he can fly away. He also thinks that the team should arrive together on this one. Since they’re unsuspecting and not an immediate threat. The first person to walk on the plane after tony is Bruce. He doesn’t have a comm that stays in his ear… Tony will make him one.

“Are you going to tell them?” Bruce asks sitting down.

“No, but there something you guys should know.”  
Bruce doesn’t say anything just a look. “You’ll want to know.” Just as Tony finishes saying this a flash of lighting happens and Thor lands on the rooftop.  
“I have finished my business on Asgard, and will have to return shortly, but only for a brief time. Until then, I am free for the Avengers.”  
“Good thing, were going on a mission.” And while they wait for the rest of the team Tony and Banner fills in Thor. Just as Tony finishes the rest of the team comes on board. There is an awkward silence while Barton takes off but once they’re flying Tony speaks up.

“Okay, so I know something that you guys deserve to know.” Tony starts. They just look at him expectantly. “The hacker or threat or whatever you want to call him knew things, and he told me… he told me Coulson is alive.” There is a slight silence then everyone speaks at once.

“Tony he’s dead he was stabbed through the heart.”  
“There is no way he’s alive.”  
“He was making it up.”  
“I don’t believe it.”  
“GUYS!” Tony shout making everyone get quite. “I confirmed it with Fury. They used his death to motivate us for the battle of New York. I don’t know the details but I plan to find them out. I thought you should know. I’m having JARVIS hack the files when we get back right now he’s hacking the hacker.”  
They’re silent and Tony doesn’t know what to think I guess Tony had a little time to process it too.  
“Well, I’m gonna… check out and fill you in.” He unbuckles and hits the ramp.  He flies out just as he hears Steve say wait. He has a comm if it’s that important he’ll ask him to come back.  
“JARVIS start hacking SHIELD and find all files on Agent Coulson once you are done with the mission.”  
“Yes Sir.”  
“Set course for Arlington Texas.”  He flies away.  
  
  
  
The team is quite after Steve gets up to close the ramp.  
“Do we really think he’s alive? And that Fury used his “Death” to motivate us?” Steve asks more to Natasha and Clint since they work for SHIELD  
Natasha pauses. ‘It is something they would do… he may have been dead… but the technology… maybe he was only dead for a few moments. It’s possible. But yes, SHIELD would do anything necessary to get what they want or what they think is right.”  
“Oh my god.” The rest of the trip is silent.

 

Tony lands at the building. It looks like your average suburbs office building. Maybe a little bigger. He flies around the area looking for a way in. No security. Tony figures they don’t feel worried, but they should with the threats they’re giving. Tony decides to go in undercover.  
“JARVIS, brief case mode.” The suit flies off and they condense into a yellow and red suitcase. This may not be the best idea. Everyone knows who he is. And the suitcase is pretty obvious. But if Tony’s good at one thing, it’d be well engineering. But he’s good at lying too. He leaves the briefcase behind and bush, and will activate it if necessary. The only problem is he can’t contact the avengers since he doesn’t have a comm. He decides to go in anyway. They’re still 2 hours out. He can gather a lot of intel that could help. So he walks through the front door. The building is nice marble floors, glass windows and a secretary sitting at the desk. A female so that works. He walks up to her and leans on the counter.  
“hey beautiful.” She doesn’t even look up so he tries again.  
“Hey…” He looks at the name. “Sierra.” He uses her first name.  “Cierra.” She pronounces it correctly.  
“Cierra. Well, I was wondering if you could help me.”  He gives her a look but she doesn’t look up.  
“The directory is on the wall, I’m busy Mr. Stark. Please ask me questions that are not pointless and are quick.”  
“Um… okay.” I guess he’s a little rusty. “What’s the name of the business?” She raises her eyebrows and points to the wall behind her.  
“So what does Geo Enviro Group do?”  
“We do environmental stuff based on geography. And we’re a group.”  
“Who runs the group?”  
“The Rowinski couple.”  
“Couple.” Tony notes. “Are they married?”  
“They plan on it now that it’s legal here.”  
“Legal?”  
“They’re gay.”  
“Any female relations?”  
The women looks up with a glint in her eyes. Maybe she likes gossip.  
“There’s a rumor going around that John Rowinski is cheating on Dan, with a women. They’ve been seen together outside of the office. No one knows who she is.”  
“How good at technology is John?”  
“Oh he’s great he could be our whole IT department, Dan takes on most of the actual environmental projects while John makes the technology. Like makes it, kind of like you, but it’s so advanced. Like not our time advanced."  
"hmm... what does she look like?"  
"All I've heard is she has beautiful red hair and a great figure. But I’m not sure if I believe that the two are sleeping together. He’s gay… I think something else it going on.” Just then the door opens and a man in a business suit walks out.

“Thank you for stopping by Mr. Stark your interest in our company is noted. Have a nice day.” She turns her attention to the man. “Hello sir, should I call your car?”  
“No need, I have a ride.” The man says. And he goes to walk out, Tony falls into step.

“I’m Tony Stark, you are?”  
“I’m wondering how you don’t know my name when you are interested in my company.”  
“Sorry, John, I just haven’t seen many pictures.” He hopes he’s right.

“You can call me Mr. Rowinski. But we don’t need your help in our company. You can go.” He walks out the door and gets in a black Subaru, and Tony watches the licenses plate and writes it down when they’re out of sight. He gets back into his Armor to contact the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! More chapters to come! Would you guys like shorter chapters more often, or longer chapters less often? Let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So few notes this time.  
> 1) I'm not very good with the geography of Texas. The only reason I picked it was because I have family there so I knew a few towns, I looked up the rest. Sorry if it's inaccurate.  
> 2) I'm not sure of Tony's age or Steve's age. i figured it out the best i could, with my time frame.  
> 3) my time frame may be a little off, but that was the best I could do.  
> 4) coming up with names and acronyms is hard. sorry if it's kinda lame, that was the best I could do haha.  
> hope you enjoy!

Previously:

He walks out the door and gets in a black Subaru, and Tony watches the licenses plate and writes it down when they’re out of sight. He gets back into his Armor.

~

The quinjet is about 5 minutes out when they get word from Tony.  
“I got some info, what’s your ETA.”  
“We’re five minutes out, why don’t we land in the field by old farm. It’s about 7 minutes to your east.” Natasha says directing Clint to land ahead.  
“Alright.” Clint lands as Tony flies away. They open the ramp to get out just as Tony’s landing.  
  
He lifts his helmet.  
“So I talked to the secretary who loves gossip. I figured out the owners of the companies are gay.”  
“So two men?”  
“Yes, but, the word going around is saying that John, is cheating on Dan, with a woman. She doesn’t think they’re sleeping together. She thinks it’s something else. She implied, that it was a side business deal, but she said that John deals with the technology of the company, like he builds it. But she also said that it was so advanced that it was beyond our time. I’m thinking he and this mystery women is our guys, I got a license plate.” He reads it off. “I’m having it sent to HQ and JARVIS is doing a search. I couldn’t be sure, but I think a women was driving. We should check it out. I haven’t gotten much else on what the equipment is, I was thinking we check it out after hours.”  
“Alright. Good work Stark, I agree we should check it out after they close.”  
They all walk back on the quinjet except Tony.  
“I’m gonna try and find a bit more out, but I need to be somewhere closer. I can hack them from the parking lot, and closer. So I’ll keep you posted.” Tony heads out without a response, flying to a park. That was total bullshit. Tony can hack from anywhere, and Bruce would be the only one to know he was lying. So he flies to the River Legacy Park. He finds a nice secluded area and lands.  
“JARVIS, what have you got for me?”  
“The license plate was traced to a Misty Clarke. She lives at 338 Warren road, Dallas Texas. She is an independent contractor for a company called Cyber Tech. The SHIELD group has been working finding them and stopping them with no success.”  
“So she doesn’t work for them?”  
“It says she is not payed by them she just supplies them with technology that can’t be bought elsewhere. Cyber Tech doesn’t ask question on where she gets this technology they pay her to keep it between them.”  
“Although she doesn’t seem to be. She seems to be playing with Geo Enviro Group. Hmm… or well John at least. I wonder is Dan knows anything or if he’s just playing oblivious. Okay, what have you found on our hacker.”  
“Not much, I traced the hack back to somewhere in Texas. The signal was being jumped by something I couldn’t even track.”  
“Hmm... What were some of the locations?”

“The major cities were Huston, Austin, Dallas, Arlington and Irving. There were a few smaller lesser known locations.”  
“Hmm… okay so he’s most likely to be in a major city right? So we are currently in Arlington and Dallas isn’t it like a 30 minute drive? So chances are he’s either in Arlington or Dallas. Wait, JARVIS are any of the smaller locations near here?”  
“The closet location besides Dallas is Breckenridge which is just under two hours not taking in traffic." "That seems a little far. Okay so we know she lives in Dallas and we are assuming John here lives in Arlington… right? Can I get a picture of Misty?”  
A picture with of a women with fiery auburn red hair pops up.  
“Okay she matches the secretary’s description, where does John Rowinski live?”  
“His address is 239 West drive Arlington.”  
“Okay, so we know that two people are hacking, most likely together. One kind of works for Cyber tech and has advanced technology probably Alien. Her name is Misty Clarke and she lives in Dallas about 30 minutes from here. She’s probably the girl Fury's after. Then we have John Rowinski. CEO of Geo Enviro Group. He’s the guy who hacked us. We have seen them together and she has shown up at the location of the threats were traced too. But no one but John seems to know who she is. So either she breaks in at night to use there secure server to send threats, OR they’re working together. Right. Okay.” He turns his comm on.  
“Guys I’ve got something.”

“Bout freaking time. We’ve been here for 2 hours waiting.” Clint complains.  
“Well, maybe you should’ve been helping. I'm on my way now.” There’s a pause . “Any way, I found or guys. Or well guy and girl. The girl Fury sent us to find’s name is Misty Clarke. I’m sending over a picture now. She works for Cyber tech giving them a lot of tech that’s advanced for us. Cyber Tech has been on SHIELDS radar. We don’t know how she gets this tech. but she lives in Dallas and for those bad at geography. That’s about 30 minutes from here in a car. I tracked her form the license plate. The car I saw her and John Rowinski get into. Which brings me to the next guy. John Rowinski, he I owner and CEO of Geo Enviro Group. Which is where we traced Misty’s hack. So either she broke in or more likely they used the Groups server to have less chance of being found. But we did. Her hack bounced around a lot. But it went from Dallas to Arlington and since he’s here. I’m betting it came from here. Where that girl Skye traced it. Everyone follow?” Tony lands  
“I think so. Basically you traced it down to Misty Clarke and John Rowinski?” Steve confirms.  
Tony sighs “Basically yes.”  
“Why didn’t you just say that?” Clint asks.  
Tony shakes his head. “There is nothing more we can do here. Going in tonight will find us nothing I haven’t already found, we should head back to New York.”  
“Alright. Well, let’s head out.” They get in the jet while Tony gets his helmet down. He flies and the quinjets up and he gets a hundred feet in front of the jet when he gets a pain in his head.  
“Uh oh not now!”

~

  
Tony’s look around at the team. A tear slides down his face.  
“Please don’t do this Tony.” Steve says  
“I have to. I’m sorry, you’ll understand later. I promise.”  
“No, Tony. We won’t.” Nat says voice hard.  
“This is suicide Tony. A slow and painful suicide.”  
“Tell me if there’s another option. That doesn’t involve you all getting killed.”  
“Let me go.” Steve says.  
“No. This has to be me and you know it. It’s okay guys. I’ve had a long enough life.”  
“Tony you’re 34!”  
“I know.”  
“Tony I’m 70! Let me.”  
“This isn’t up for discussion.” He shrugs. “Thanks for everything.”  
He starts flying as he hears “TONY!” shouted from all of the team but he ignores it.

~

~~~back on the quinjet~~~

 

Clint and Natasha are in the front of the jet when they Tony’s jets stop working. And he starts falling,  
  
“Tony?”  
“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.  
“Tony’s falling and he’s not stopping.” Nat says concerned.  
“Tony?!?” Nothing. “Thor?”  
He opens the door and swings his Hammer to catches him. Thor lands on the ground and then swings them up to the hovering quinjet. They land and He puts Tony down. Thor rips his helmet off and it feels all too familiar. Tony’s faced is clenched in pain.  
“This is what he was like on the stairs only he was screaming.”  
“What do we do?” Nat asks  
“Nothing. We have to let him ride it out. Clint keep flying we need to get back to New York.” Thor says, Clint nods and he and Nat get back into the pilot seat.  
After about 2 minutes of silence Tony wakes with a gasp and shoots up, breathing heavy.  
“Tony?” He looks around eyes wide. “What happened?”  
“You started falling so Thor brought you on the jet. Tony what’s going on?”  
“It’s nothing, just-“  
“Your arc reactor? Bull shit. What’s going on?” All the faces of his team is confusion with a hint of worry except Thor. His is knowing.  
“I’m fine, it’s nothing.”  
“Tony I think you should tell them.” Bruce says. Tony’s eyes shoot to Bruce. He thinks it’s part of his PTSD. And he could tell them that it is, they’d believe that.  
“No.” he decides.  “I’m not ready to tell them. With the way you guys treat me you don’t deserve to know. So stop pretending to care, and leave me be.”  
“Tony.” Steve says with concern.

"No. you guys treat me like crap. Today is just one example. I get I was a train wreck in the past, but i've changed. And until you start treating me like a human and an adult you don't get to know."

Tony stands up, grabs his helmet and flies off.

 

They sit in an awkward silence the rest of the flight.

 

 After flying back to New York, Tony lands and the machine takes his armor off. He heads to his lab. He gets 5 minutes into working on his prototype when he hears the quinjet land. Just as he gets a call from Fury.  
“Stark, there’s a live video feed coming in from our guys you found. I’m putting It up on the monitor in the common room, get everyone there now!”  
Tony runs up the stairs as the team gets in.  
“Tony-“  
“Not now, theres a live video feed from our guys. Come on.”

Misty Clarke and John Rowinski is sitting with the camera on them.  
“This is it.” Misty starts “I’ve given you enough warnings and time to prepare. Tonight, they are coming. The hyndrid.”  
“They will come from another planet in another galaxy. And we are the only ones who can stop them” John says.  
“I know you’re watching. But it doesn’t matter. Because we won’t stop it until it’s done.” Misty says  
“And we will know once it’s done. We know we will pay for this, but this is a must.” John  
“And they will be here in 2 minutes in New York. I’m sorry for those who will be caught in the cross.” Misty says  
“God save us all.” The video feed cuts out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already got more in the works so, many more chapters to come! Sorry it's short, let me know if you want longer chapters of if you like these with many updates! That would be very helpful! thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter, and it's longer! So a lot happens in this chapter, and there is a little slight Pre-Stony for like 3 sentences! Also team bonding and some secrets come out! Hope you enjoy!

Previously:  
“And they will be here in 2 minutes in New York. I’m sorry for those who will be caught in the cross.” Misty says  
“God save us all.” The video feed cuts out.  
~

Tony looks at the time.  
“We have a minute left before they get here. Thor, do you know what the Hyndrid are?”  
“They are these beast like creatures who are a group of mercenaries. They must be supplying them with all these gadgets and technology… they arrive through-“  
A thundering boom happens the ground shakes.  
“Like that? Guys get on the ground.” They nod.  
“Wait! What are their weaknesses?”  
“On each mission they have a leader. If the leader dies, the group dies. The leader will look different. I don’t know how, but you’ll know. It’s different every time. He won’t be near the battle they get to high ground to get a view, but they also have some technology to protect them, I’ve never seen them in person, I’ve just heard stories. They’re trained assassins.”  
Natasha smirks “So am I.”  
“We need to know what their end game is. Stark, have JARVIS do something to figure it out.”  
“Umm.” Tony thinks “Oh okay, J, hack Cyber Tech see if they have an information. If they have nothing look for technology they’re using for weaknesses or and off switch if we’re lucky. Just search through files at Geo Enviro Group and Cyber Tech and hack her personal computer. She has to have it somewhere.”  
There’s a crack of thunder and flash of lighting.  
“More are coming. We need to move! NOW!” Tony gets his suit on and heads to the ground where the first rush is coming. He looks at them and freezes. They’re just like in his dream, visions. Whatever. Oh god they look worse now. They’re big. Like the size of a polar bear, and very deep purple color. They have swords and laser guns like in his vision. They’re riding ships, which are not unlike the Chitauri. He hopes they don’t have those whale things. This is a bad year for New York.  
“Stark? You need to keep this handled.” Fury says through his phone.  
“So you don’t send in a nuke again? Yea got that.” He hangs up. He flies down and shoots two, gathering the attention of the group. And well, maybe not the smartest decision to start without the team, because they all swarm like bugs.  
“Guy, there here, and there’s a whole heck of a lot of them.” Tony shoots them, not much can get through the suit. He takes out the bulk of this round but a few have gone off in a different direction. And there are plenty more coming out of the ground. He sees the team on the ground. Including the hulk taking out many of them before they get there. They separate to make a perimeter. The battle goes on for an hour. Where they kill some and some hit them, Natsha is nearly out of bullets and Clints completely out of arrows. That’s the one downside of those weapons. Tony and Steve have taken many hard hits and Thor has many injuries, but as an Asgardian he’s okay. He shoots at a one and jumps out of the way.  
Tony looks around panicked. So much destruction. He just doesn’t know what to do. Buildings on fire, people dying in the street screaming. He holds back his panic attack and flies down to Steve.  
“How you doing Cap?” Tony screams though the noise. Steve turn and throws his shield as Tony blasts one out of the way.  
This is similar.  
“We need to keep a better perimeter.”  
“What are we gonna do? We can’t hold this forever?!?” Tony says a little more than panicked. Wait.  
“This is my dream.” Tony whispers.  
“What? Tony, we need to take out the head!” Steve shouts as Tony shoots the hyndrid.  
“Steve… we can’t… there’s too many of them…” Tony can’t help the panic in his voice but Steve doesn’t notice.  
Tony drops down and lasers at least 9 of them but they keep coming back.  
“Oh my god. Steve.” Tony remembers.  
One turns and points a laser at Steve as tony shoots it, but it’s too late! There’s nothing tony can do but watch. Again.  
“STEVE!” Steve falls to the floor.  
“Rogers?” he says after covering him as it’s taking Captain a few seconds to get up. He can’t stop himself from following what he says in his visions.  
“I’m okay. Just hurt like a-“  
“Tony. He’s here. You need to go get him.” Nat says through the comms cutting Steve off.  
“Okay, Thor I need you down here, to cover Steve. He’s injured, but he’s okay. I don’t know how many more hits he can take.” Lighting strikes and he lands  
“I will cover him man of Iron. Go.”  
And without another word he goes to where Nat said on the roof top. He flies to the top. And straight to him. And it’s too late before he remembers what happened because he feels a blinding pain and he screams.  
The rest of the team is shouting his name as he falls down.  
He feels like he’s on fire. Maybe he his.  
“TONY?!?! TONY?!?!” but tony doesn’t register any of it. After a few moments he stops screaming.  
“TONY?! REPORT, WHAT HAPPENED?” Steve yells  
“He” Tony takes a breath. “He has a force field. Like a bug zapper. A very big painful bug zapper. And I’m the bug. Oh I feel like I’m on fire.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Define okay. Okay to fight? Probably... I just need a bit to stop frying.”  
“You have 30 seconds because we need you.”  
“I don’t’ know how much I can help. Although I have an idea on the force field.” He flies up and reaches the guy before the force field.  
“You didn’t die.” He says through a gravelly voice.  
“Nope, still alive and kicking. Well…”  
“Then our mission is not over.”  
“Mission? To kill me? I’m the mission?”  
“To kill or capture. We go for kill first.”  
“Who wants me dead?”  
“You killed an entire realm. Most want you dead.”  
“Shit.”  
“I know you can stop us but more will come unless we do.”  
He looks at him.  
“Thor, this won’t hold against lighting help?” he says through the comm.  
“More destruction for your earth.” Thor lands on the roof, and strikes it.  
And the force field drops. Tony blasts him and he drops.  
The rest of the Hyndrid drop.  
“We did it.” Tony shakes his head.  
“No, we paused it. Meet back at the Stark tower. No shawarma this time.” Tony uses the rest of the flight back to his landing pad.  
“Just a heads up, I need a little medical help once I’m out of the suit.”  
“I thought you said you were okay?!?” Steve asks  
“Hey I said I was okay to fight.”  
The team makes it up the elevator.  
“Alright Take the suit off J. Slowly.” The suit slowly comes off and he bites his tongue and groans in pain until it’s off and he falls to the floor. Whimpering, which he’ll never admit to. He looks at his hands  
“Oh my god.” He hears Steve say. Yup burns up his whole body.  
“We need to get you to the med bay.” He nods. He goes to stand up, but Steve picks him up. Tony gives them a look.  
“I’m not a baby, I can walk.”  
“Yea, well, for some strange reason, I think it’ll hurt and you need medical attention. now.”  
“Oh my god.”  
“Shut up. What floor?”  
“12.” The team files into the elevator.  
“You’ll be okay Tony.” Natasha says  
“I know that. Don’t try and comfort me. They have the best skin repair machine in the world. I’ll be good as knew in an hour or so.” Just then the elevator dings and the doors open.  
“Put me down now.” Tony Says sternly  
“Tony. It’s-”  
“I don’t want them seeing me carried in by Captain America. Do you know the gossip wound here? No. So, put. Me. Down.” Steve debates it for a minute but nods. Tony groans, but still leans heavily on him.  
“Hey, Susie. I need a skin graft, now.”  
“Oh my god, okay well get going follow me.” She rushes behind the door.  
“Only Steve can come, and that because he’s helping me. You guys have to wait here. Hurry up Cap, I think I’m gonna pass out.” And Steve lifts him up as he does.

 

Tony wakes to the beeping heart monitor. It takes him a minute to open his eyes, but when he does he sees Steve is still there. He looks at his arms. Just a slight bruising to them, which will go away in time.  
“Welcome back, how are you feeling?” Steve asks  
“A lingering pain, but I’m good. What happened? I remember coming down here and then…”  
“You passed out and I carried you in.” Tony groans.  
“That’s just great. I’d rather you had left me on the ground.”  
“I wasn’t going to leave you injured on the ground are. you joking? And since when do you care what people think of you?” And tony looks down  
“I’ve always cared.”  
And that takes Steve by surprise.  
“But, you just play it off and play into it.”  
“Yea, because I’m not gonna have the media stop talking about me. That’s not gonna happen. How would you like it if people everywhere, even in your own home think of you as a drunk or a playboy?”  
“we don’t think that…” Steve says… lamely?  
“Yes you do, Steve.” Tony sighs. “And I let you believe it. But that’s okay. I think we need some team bonding. How about we head up, and I don’t know. Have that dinner you talked about?”  
“I think that’s a great idea. I have all the ingredients for soup? Maybe help you feel better and it should only take an hour or so to cook. We can hang while it’s simmering.”  
Tony nods. “Alright help me up.” Steve grabs Tony’s hand and pulls him up.  
“Okay, I can walk on my own maybe undo some of the damage you’ve done.”  
“I’m sorry Tony, I didn’t-.”  
“Yea, I know. You’ll just have your self ton blame when they give us a name.”  
“A name?” Steve asks  
“Yea, like I ship name me a pepper got ‘Pepperony’ great huh… we’d be worse… Like Toner? Nah that doesn’t work. Oh my god. Stony. That’s it, that’s awful.”  
“Ship name?”  
“Yea, it’s like when they like two people together they combine their names to make it one. Pepperony. Pepper-tony. So ours would be Stony Steve-Tony use the T as the same and make it Stony. That has to be awful. Like You and Peggy would’ve been Steggy. And uh you and Nat would be Stasha. See a pattern?”  
“How do you know these things?”  
“I read the paper.”  
“It’s not in the paper I read.”  
“Okay so, it’s more a tabloid… I need to know what’s being said. So I know how to act.” Tony eyes glare down and Steve looks at him with concern but he’s back before Steve can be sure it’s really there. “Anyway… What kind of soup?”  
“I was thinking chicken rice or creamy polenta.”  
“Not chicken rice.” Tony says quickly. Steve gives him a look. Tony speaks first “I’m uh allergic to uh… um… I don’t want it okay.” His mom made the best chicken rice soup and he doesn’t want it ever again. But he’s not gonna tell Steve that.  
“That’s fine… Creamy polenta it is.” Steve nods. Giving tony a quick look to see if he’s okay. They open the door to the waiting room to see most the avengers looking concerned. They all jump up and ask if he’s okay.  
“I’m fine, I have a lingering pain which will be gone in about a week and the bruises only look like bruises it doesn’t actually hurt. They will disappear too.”  
“That’s good, you had us so worried.”  
“Eh, I’m fine I can take anything life throws at me.” He grins, but Bruce knows better and Steve is staring to question that. And if he’s gonna admit it, he’s kind of starting to like Tony. He’s not as bad as the media and his file says. But he’s not gonna tell anyone that.  
“Alright so we’re having creamy polenta soup and we’re gonna do some team bonding before the next hit comes. Any objections?”  
“I’m not a big fan of Creamy polenta like what is that? Why don’t we have something less extravagant?” Clint says.  
“Well we only have ingredients for that and Chicken and rice, but tony didn’t want chicken and rice…” they look at Tony for him to make a decision.  
“Um... I just…” he sighs. “Chicken and rice is fine…”  
“Are you sure?” Steve asks.  
“Yup. Let’s go.” Tony says more like himself and everyone believes it but Steve. They head up to the common floor.  
“What kind of team bonding?” Clint asks.  
“I was thinking we could maybe do like a truth or dare, but only truth? To get to know each other, on a deeper level. I think we all would like that? And if it’s too hard, or too personal just say it and we’ll respect each other’s boundaries right?” Steve says.  
“Yea, I think that’s a good idea.” Banner says. No one objects but Tony really wants to. “Alright, well we can start in 5 minutes let me just get the soup up.”

So true to Steve’s word they’re sitting on the couches around the room 5 minutes later.  
“Okay so who wants to start?” Natasha asks.  
“I think since it was Steve’s idea he should start.” Banner suggests They all agree so he does.  
“Okay, lets start with an easy one. Banner, how did you get the name Hulk?”  
“Okay, um well… I was actually called that when the other guy showed up… It kinda stuck.” Banner answers truthfully. Hmm everyone thinks.  
“Okay so now my turn?”  
“Yea, we can do it like that.” Tony takes a deep breath  
He shrugs. “um… Thor, are you really a god?”  
All eyes turn to him and he grins. “I am not a God.”  
“I told you! I told you there is only one god and that’s not him.” Steve says Triumphantly  
“You just make us out to be because of the mythology and well. I’m not going to stop you from thinking it. It’s pretty cool to be called a god. We do live longer though."  
“How much longer?” Banner asks.  
“One question at a time.” Thor says. “Okay Natasha, do you like knives or guns better?”  
“Knives. I like the battle close where I can control it.” They nod makes sense.  
“Okay… so Clint. Why do you like bow and arrow? We’ve actually never talked about it.”  
“So I can get a bird’s eye view. I don’t like guns as much, but bow and arrow is kind of historical. Of course mine are updated to help. But it feels kind of old.” Tony’s chest is tightening because he knows he’s next. He doesn’t like questions. All eyes turn to tony and he tries not to squirm under his gaze.  
“Why didn’t you want chicken rice soup.” It’s a simple enough question. One tony can probably handle.  
“Okay… um my mom… she was making that the day of her uh… accident. It was December. Cold. We went out to get some more bullion whatever that is I just wanted to spend time with my mom before my dad got home... My dad was on the way home so we picked him up first. …It just snowed. The road was icy underneath. Came to a traffic light, but she couldn’t stop. Ran right into another car. They were fine. Not a scratch. I had a few broken ribs, but when I woke… my parents… they were pronounced dead on the scene… but I knew it. Just by looking. I went to the hospital for hours. No one could come get me... I was alone... l just wanted to go home. " Steve thinks that must be why he hates hospitals. "When I did Found the soup on the stove simmering.” Tony shakes his head, “I couldn’t bring myself to eat it… eat anything…” he whispers the last part. He doesn’t look up. The avengers face are full of sorrow and not pity, but empathy. That’s the most they’re ever heard Tony share that was personal not his quips or jokes or sarcasm. That was the real vulnerable tony stark.  
“I’m sorry Tony. I didn’t know. Can we make somethi-“Natasha starts  
“No, its fine. It’s been 21 years you’d think having soup would be fine… its fine it’s already made.”  
“but-“  
“Can we move on?”  
“yea, sure. That’s okay. As long as you’re okay.”  
“Yea. Fine. Okay… Rogers. How’d you get picked to be captain America?”  
He chuckles. “I was at a special base where they were trying to pick someone. I jumped on a grenade to minimize the damage. Fake grenade it was a test. And I was the only one who passed. For having a good heart. You should’ve seen me before the serum I was smaller than Tony.” And everyone laughs but they don’t notice the look on Tony’s face. He hates that he’s small short whatever. That is one thing that he hates. His stereotypical short jokes. Steve’s eyes glance at him and they go from laughing to regretful. He looks down.  
“Alright, what are you asking who?”  
“Um… Thor, why can’t I pick up the hammer?”  
“I think it’s because you’re not worthy, but if anyone in this group is, It’d be you.” Thor shrugs. “Natasha when did you become an agent of shield.”  
“2003. Barton was sent to take me out. He made a different call.” They knew most of that. “Tony.” Tony takes a deep breath. “What was it like in the Chitauri realm?” Tony’s take a breath.  
“I don’t think we should-“ Bruce tries.  
“It’s fine.” He already feels like he’s out of breath and then team notices he’s stiff, and there’s sweat on his forehead. “It was cold. And dark and empty. There was nothing left, and I was gonna die. Alone.” It comes out as a whisper and his voice is out of breath. “And and I saw the explosion and I was falling and it was cold. My suit was icing even though I fixed it was that cold. I was dead. I was supposed to die...." he takeas a breath. " I need a minute.” He gets up and half runs to the kitchen not really caring that they’re following. He bangs into the fridge and he slides down putting his head in his hands. He’s counting to himself. And the team rushes in.  
“What happened?” Clint asks. Bruce debates telling them and he has to… there’s no denying it now.  
“Tony… he has PTSD… Talking about New York and hearing about it… well you can guess what happens.”  
“Why didn’t you tell us? He tell us? How do you know?”  
“The day he ran down to his lab because he ‘didn’t eat’.” Realization forms on their faces. “Why didn’t you tell us.”  
“He didn’t want you to know and it wasn’t mine to tell.”  
“I can hear you talking about me.” Tony “I’m fine-“  
“Tony. You’re not fine. And that’s okay.”  
“Okay, I am I just have a tough time a few times every now and then. But when I’m like this I’m not fine. But the rest of the time I am.”  
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Steve sounds hurt.  
“Because you have all gone through shit and are fine. You all go on and nothing fazes you. But here I am fucked up and half crazy. I’m an avenger, but I can’t even breath half of the time.”  
“Tony we all have our shit. And we handle it different. And that’s okay.”  
“None of you understand. I’m not a soldier. I wasn’t meant to be a solider! I was just making weapons and selling them and I got kidnapped. I woke up with a car battery attached to my heart dying without it. When Coulson debriefed me I lied.” He looks at his friends. Most read his file. “They tortured me because I refused. Stuck my head underwater until I couldn’t breathe and did it over and over.” The avengers looked shocked and sad. “I finally said I would, but I make the mark I suite instead. I survived that, but I stopped making weapons for a reason. Not just because I wanted to be iron man. But because I saw them kill people. I avoid thinking about what my weapons did. And when I couldn’t avoid it. I had to stop. And then I became Iron Man and I saved the world by dying. I just didn’t know how. But I’m not a soldier. I was never supposed to be a soldier. But I fought anyway, and I still will, because If I can help.” Tony shakes his head. “I’m gonna do whatever it takes.” The room is silent.  
“Why don’t we get a drink and relax.”  
“I was really mad at you guys for a while. I thought you were the worst team ever.” They look hurt. “No, let me explain. I’m not mad anymore. I’m a little disappointed because you guys didn’t notice, but I'm not mad.  
"Notice what?" Steve asks  
"I gave up drinking 2 months ago. Been sober for longer.” They’re silent. “or that Pepper and I broke up, well she broke up with me for saving the world, and you didn’t notice or care enough to ask. She brought me whiskey even though she knew I gave up drinking. I threw it out. You all assume the worst in me and just believe what the media plays up and if I’m being honest it hurts. And I play into it because that’s what you all expect, but I’m sick of it. And I’m tired. And I’m done.” He shakes his head.  
“Tony.” Steve starts but doesn’t know how to finish it.  
“It’s okay.” Tony says standing up.  
“It’s not, and well make it up to you.” Natasha promises.  
“How? There’s nothing you can do.”  
“Maybe not now, but we’ll figure it out.”  
“Tony.” Thor says. “I know it’s been a long day, but there’s still something you’re not telling us. And it’s very important that you do. Or at least me.” Thor gives Tony a knowing look. Tony just sighs.  
“Yea, you’re right. But I don’t want to talk about them, why do we need to?”  
“Because it may be the difference between your life and your death. Tell me about your visions.”  
“Whoa.” Steve says “Visions?”  
“Yeah.” Tony sighs  
“we need to talk about what you saw in the other realm. What you’re seeing now.”  
Tony shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about that. How do you even know, Thor?” Tony asks.  
“There is old prophecy about you. It was turned into a children’s tale, things your mother tells you about when you are a child. I wasn’t sure it was you, but after what happened on the way back from Texas… I was pretty sure.”  
“Prophecy?” Tony’s eyes are wide.  
“It goes like this:

‘A man who doesn’t belong,

Who fights against all evil

Will fall through the portal of time and space.

And when he lands he will be changed.

He will foresee the future

But will hold the pain of the past.

He will use his gift for greatness

Which will be his downfall.

He will be remembered as a villain

But he will die as a hero.’”

The room is silent.  
“It doesn’t say how I die? Or what I do to become the villain?”  
“Tony, you have to remember this story has been passed on for millenniums. It could have changed. I need to know about your first vision.”  
“Wait.” Steve says still playing catch up with the others. “Like you see the future? Like the actual future?”  
“Yeah… yes. Yes I do and have and I want you to stop it, Thor.”  
“There is no stopping it. I need to know your first vision.”  
Tony thinks back.

~~~ Tony’s first vision in the Chitauri realm~~~

Tony’s being walked into a room, but people that aren’t people. They look like people but it’s just a disguise. They aren’t human. Tony doesn’t know how he knows but he does. They aren’t Asgardians either. Tony doesn’t know what they could be. But all he knows is he’s alone. And he’s at the mercy of these things. They walk him into a room where they push him down. He falls to the floor with an oomph. And he can tell his arm is sprained. They shut the door and lock him in.  
“The master will come for you where you can live out your punishment.”  
“My punishment for saving earth?”  
“For murdering an entire species. You have broken many Laws and you will pay.”  
“IT WAS A WAR!! I WAS FIGHTING IN IT!”  
“You didn’t have to kill all of them.”  
“They were trying to kill all of us! What did we do?”  
“You were wrong.”  
“But they came to us! I was just defending.”  
“You killed them and they would pay just as you will if they hadn’t died, by your hands.”  
“Do I get a trial?  
“You will be judged by our people.”  
“Do they all think like you?”  
“Enough questions. You will stay here for the night and tomorrow is judgment day.”  
“What the best thing that could happen?”  
He pauses and looks back “Death.”

~~~

“Um… well I was being brought into a room, in another realm… they looked like humans but they weren’t. They weren’t Asgardians either. They threw me into a cell… and they said I was on trial for breaking many laws, and killing an entire species and the best outcome was death…”  
“This is worse than I thought.”  
“Wait Tony, when did you starts this?” Steve asks  
“Well, in the chituari realm, then i had a dream. A really vivid dream… The on the stairs… my arc reactor is fine by the way… then when we were on our way back from Texas.”  
“Walk me through them.” All eyes are back on him, he squirms under his gaze.  
“The first two were of the battle with the hyndrid… From where you get hit Steve and it ended with the bug zapper pain.”  
“You knew there was pain, but you still went?”  
“Um yeah… I didn’t know why… I was very confused when it was happening. I didn’t think they were real…”  
“What about the third one?”  
“Um… It was a little different… I don’t think it’s very important…” Tony says evasively  
“Tony.”  
“Fine, you were all telling me I can’t do this, that it’s a torturous suicide. But I was doing it to protect you that something bad would happen to all of you. Also to let Steve do it, because he’s older…”  
“What did you do?” Steve asks alarmed  
“It cut off. I didn’t see…” Tony looks down.  
The study him for a moment.  
“Okay…” Thor doesn’t believe him but he doesn’t want to push him it’s been a long day. He’ll talk to Tony alone tomorrow.  
“There’s one more thing…” Tony says  
“What else could there be Tony?” Steve sighs into his hands.  
“The Hyndrid… their mission was to kill or capture me. They said that more will come. And worse.”  
“Of course. This day couldn’t get any longer. I say we get some sleep, and in the morning, we makes a game plan. Until then we all need some good rest.”  
They all agree that they should get some sleep and head to their separate floors the soup long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to get some opinions or ideas! I have many, but I think it'd be cool if someone had an idea! Comment, kudos, bookmark, subscribe!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Stony Fluff but don't worry I have some of the next chapter done which is full of drama angst and all the fun stuff in this story! And don't worry I didn't jump right into the relationship. I hate that, this is just some... well you'll read it. Enjoy!

Previously: 

They all agree that they should get some sleep and head to their separate floors soup long forgotten.

~

 

Tony gets more sleep then he thought he would. He wakes up feeling refreshed and ready for the day. He thinks that that’s the first time in months. He looks at the clock. 8:47. He got about 10 hours of sleep which is amazing. He decides to head to the kitchen on the common floor because Steve is most likely up. He gets dressed, and heads down. And as suspected Steve is in the kitchen making pancakes the soup no longer there.  
“Hey.” Tony says walking in. Steve looks up surprised. And he doesn’t blame him. He wouldn’t think he’d be down here anyway.  
“Hey. I’m making breakfast.”  
“I can see that.” Tony laughs. “Have enough for me?”  
“Got plenty. I was gonna fry up an egg to if you want one?” Steve asks getting the eggs out.  
“Nah, they make me sick. It’s weird. I’m not allergic, and it’s okay when they’re in stuff, but when they’re just eggs.” He shrugs. “I don’t like them.”  
“Hmm… didn’t know that.”  
“Yeah, most of you don’t know much about me, expect what I told you last night…” Steve looks down.  
“Okay, so tell me something about yourself.” Steve cracks an egg.  
“Um well how about we do that 20 questions thing. You ask me question I ask you one and if you don’t have a question we just go back and forth saying semi-personal stuff.”  
“Okay. I’ll go first. What’s your favorite food?”  
“Hmm okay well I like this chicken dish, you stuff it with rice and cheese, bread it and bake it. I use to make it all the time before Afghanistan. I could make it I guess one time…”  
“Yea, that sounds good. Your turn.”  
“Why did you want to be a solider?”  
“I’ve always wanted to be a soldier. I just wanted to protect people. I wanted to help. It was different in the 40’s everyone wanted to fight in the war and I was no exception. I was a little tiny guy who got denied because I was too scrawny. A guy scientist came to me and I told you how I was picked.” He puts his egg on his plate and we head to the table to eat. “Then I became Captain America to do propaganda. Kids loved it. When I went to the military, not so much. Then Bucky got captured and I went in.” He shrugs “After that I became a real hero. Well that’s what they say.”  
“You are a hero. If any avenger was a hero it’d be you. Hands down.”  
Steve Shrugs but smiles. “Any way… what was your favorite childhood memory.” Tony thinks for a minute.  
“I only had a few so…” Steve frowns. “Oohh! Okay, my dad was out of town on a business trip, so my mom took off of work and we went to our summer home. We’ve owned it for a long time, but we never went, dad didn’t want to take off work. Ever. But me and my mom went by ourselves and we went swimming in the water, we went out for dinner a few nights just me and her and it was great. One of my best weeks ever. I was 14.” Tony smiles at the memory. And he frowns. “it wasn’t the same when my dad was there. But me and my mom. It was great.” Tony smiles. And Steve smiles back. “Do you still own the house?”

“Yeah, I don’t go there anymore.” Tony’s smile drops.

“Why not?”  
“Well, after my parents died I had to clean my house. I had to go through there stuff, and I had no one with me.” Tony looks down. “I had so much stuff to do they were my only family. No one else cared about me, I was always just Howard Stark’s son. It may come to a surprise to you, but I don’t really have any friends I mean I had Rhodey but he… It wasn’t… he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. He was dating this girl and he had things, I don’t know he gave me excuses but I just stopped caring. I was 21 so I went to a bar for the first time. That’s how all that started. Because, and this may sound stupid, but I needed someone just I don’t know. To be with me and I know it was because I was Tony Stark, and it never really helped, but it made me be social and that was good, If I could be social I was okay….” Tony shakes his head. “But, I couldn’t do any more cleaning so I never went. Back to the house. They still have stuff there. Things I can’t bring myself to think about.”  
“I’m sorry Tony-  
“Can we do this thing where you stop saying sorry. It doesn’t help and in my experience I got people who didn’t care saying sorry because it was the right thing to do. And I hated it. So please. No more sorry” Steve pauses and replies.  
“Okay. No more sorry.”  
“Good.”  
“I just didn’t know about any of this. I always thought… I guess I did judge a book by it’s cover. Or what the media said. I…. I apologize.” Steve looks at Tony nervous.  
“It’s okay to apologize for things you did, but not for things you had no control over. And It’s okay. I don’t usually let people in.”  
“So why are you?”  
“I dunno. I just thought… Well Banner said I should talk to someone. And I was up and you were up and no ones gonna be here for at least an hour. And who wouldn’t want to spend some time with Captain America.”  
“Okay. I guess that makes sense. I think it’s your turn.”  
“Okay, what’s your best vacation slash memory?”  
“Well, I didn’t have much money growing up so we never went on vacation.”  
“You’ve never been on a vacation?” Tony asks  
“I mean I went on tours around America As Cpatian America But a real vacation? No.”  
“Oh… well we’ll have to go on one sometime.”  
“Maybe… but uh I don’t know probably this night with Bucky, we went out just us and we went to the bar, and it wasn’t anything special, it was before I was Captain America. I was just a nobody and I could go and no one would want an autograph and no one would want to be me or anything. It was nice.” Steve smiles.  
“I’ve never had that. Being a nobody, I mean. Everywhere I went all the time. They knew me.”  
“But I thought you liked that.”  
“I hate it. I just want to go somewhere where people don’t know me, haven’t seen me on the news haven’t read my file.” He shrugs. “Clean slate and I’m never gonna get that. The world is always going to see me as a drinking play boy billionaire. And I hate it.”  
“Hmm, I didn’t think of it that way. They also see you as the man who saved Manhattan.”

 

"It's not the same."

"Yeah, that sucks" Steve say sticking to the no sorry policy. Which is great.

“Hmm. I guess none of us can go back now.”  
“Guess not.”  
“I think it’s your turn.”  
“Okay… Can I get a bit personal?”  
“I think were already past personal.” Tony shrugs.  
“What was it like living with Howard Stark. I knew the man, he was a great guy war hero, But living with him… what was it like?” Tony takes a breath.  
“Honest answer? I don’t want to ruin your image of him.” Steve nods. “Okay. It was awful. He was mean, he was never around and he was a drunk. He would verbally abuse my mom, and then he started on me.” He looks at Steve. “He always compared me to you.” Steve looks shocked. “Things like “Why can’t you be more like captain America.” Or “Why are you a failure, If captain America was here you’d be gone.” “You should use him as a role model to be better.”  He worshipped you. He’d rather have you then me. I was a failure in his eyes and you were god’s greatest gift to this world.”  
“Oh my god Tony. I never knew that.”  
“How could you? You were frozen remember.”

“Which is true, but he always…”  
“He was a war hero right? But after. No one could replace you. Not even his son. I was building robots at 6 made Dummy at 12 You at 14. I’m 44.  They would still be the original if he wasn’t destroyed. He wasn’t a weapon so… Made him again when I was 17 and I had my own place well sorta, they owned it, I just lived there. Made JARVIS at 21 right after my parents died. I was alone and wanted someone to talk to. Upgraded him along the way. That’s why he’s so important. He was the only one there for me after and I know he’s not human but he’s real. And I guess it’s stupid. But Howard Stark was not a nice man. He loved you all that was it for me.”  
“Wow.”  
“Yeah you wanted the honest answer.”  
“Yeah, I did.”  
“Regretting it?”  
“Not a chance. It’s nice to know things about you. I’ve always thought and believed the media. I never gave it a second thought and I should have.”  
“It’s fine. Everyone does.”  
“It’s not. But I’ll make it right.”  
“This. This right here is making right. And it means so much that you actually care enough to ask. Noone’s ever really done that before. And it’s new and weird but I kinda like it.” Steve smiles.

“Good. I think you should get one last question and then I think we should heat our pancakes and actually eat them.” Tony laughs  
“I forgot them. I think that’s a good idea. Lets end it on hopefully an easy question. What was it like waking up and it being 2011?”  
“Insane. I ran out in the middle of time square and it was different. Crazy. I was freaking out. Panicking I couldn’t breathe. It took a long time for me to realize that it was real. That my whole life was gone. And that my remaining family never knew what happened to me. It was the weirdest thing and craziest thing to happen to me. Not coming out being a superhuman but frozen for like 65 years. It took me a while to adjust and I still haven’t completely. I’m still amazed by little things. Like remotes. Who would’ve thought! Pointing at the screen and you don’t even have to get up! And then there’s computers and google. Like what? It’s crazy. I mean not for you. But for someone from the 40’s pretty crazy.” Tony laughs.  
“yea, some things are kinda crazy for me. Flying cars and ships. That was new for me and kinda unbelievable. Well before Iron Man.”  
“I forgot about those! I thought that ship was a submarine but really! It’s all crazy.”  
“yeah it really is.” Tony chuckles. “I think we should eat breakfast now. I’m hungry.”  
“You’re hungry? And you’re gonna eat? Oh my god! Alert everyone.” He laughs and looks at Tony who’s just looking down. “Tony? I was joking, I’m sorry.”  
“It’s uh fine.”  
“No, Tony talk to me.” Steve looks at him concerned.  
“it’s just… it’s not just because I don’t have time or I forget. I told you I had trouble eating after my parents… and after I was kidnapped, and after New York… I just couldn’t stomach a lot. I don’t have an eating disorder or anything, it’s just hard for me to stomach it. And you guys joke about it and it’s actually hard for me so.”  
“Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Steve says sadly.  
“Which is why I told you. So why don’t we eat the pancakes and move forward. I told you guys last night I’m not mad.”  
“Yeah, okay. I’ll just go warm these.” Steve heads to the microwave, which is new to him too. He guesses how long and when it’s done he brings them back. They start eating them silent.  
“So.” Tony starts after finishing a bite. “I told you all of this, but I didn’t tell the Avengers. I’d prefer you not say anything yet. About what we talked about. I’d rather tell them when I’m ready.”  
“yea that’s fine. I won’t tell them. You can trust me. I promise.”  
“I do.” And those two word make Steve smile. He really misjudged Tony, and he’s really glad Tony’s talking to him. It’s nice, and Steve is actually enjoying it. And that surprises and scares him. He looks at Tony and wonders how he feels. What he thinks. Steve thinks he may never know what’s in Tony’s head. But he wants to and hopefully he will.  But until then he’s gonna be the friend Tony needs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed! Comment Kudos Bookmark Subscribe!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry for the delay! I started college and classes and midterms and clubs kept me busy but midterms are over and my classes have lightened up, so I'll be able to write more! Sorry for not writing sooner. This is a little short but I wanted to get it out!

Eventually everyone slowly makes their way down to the common for. They look happily surprised that Tony is there. He isn’t talking much but he’s trying. Which is good progress.   
“Okay, SO I don’t want to ruin this and I’m not trying to make you upset Tony, but we need to figure out what were gonna so about you. And the aliens trying to kill you. So what do we know?” Steve asks

“I murdered a species.” Tony looks up. “And they want me to be on trial… which isn’t ridiculous. I mean shouldn’t I pay for my crimes?” And everyone gapes at him making him look down.  
“Tony you saved the earth. You shouldn’t have to pay for that. They should.”  
“And they would’ve if I hadn’t killed them.” Tony shrugs.  
“You don’t know that.”  
“Yes I do. It was in my vision things, which is still kinda freaking me out a lot. But they said “You killed them and they would pay just as you will if they hadn’t died, by your hands” so I mean I did kill many aliens and people so if you think about it it’s only fair.”  
“Tony, you saved humans. You didn’t kill them. It wasn’t your fault.” Natasha says.  
“are you joking? Do you know how many people my weapons killed? Because I don’t but I’m the worlds biggest mass murderer.”  
“Where’d you get that from?”  
“It doesn’t matter.” Tony thinks back to when he was in Afghanistan. “Just something someone told me once. And I just know it’s true. I made weapons and I killed them. Obadiah was dealing under the table killing Americans. I should pay. I need to. It’ll make things right. Good. You know?”  
“Tony, Listen to me closely.” Tony nods. “Okay you were fighting a war. You did what was necessary. They would’ve killed all of us. Loki would’ve won. They would’ve kept coming. Thor,, Where there any good Chitauri or would they all tried to kill us?”  
“Well, as with any planet or realm, there are more than just Warriors… and if you had killed an entire planet there is laws against it. But, it was the only way of stopping the war… I do not know who is trying to capture you… But we will figure it out. You won’t be put on trial.”  
“Loki said your mother could help? If I told you, you could ask your mother.”  
“That was some of my business on Asgard. There is nothing I or she can do. I’m sorry tony.”  
“Are they always true? Is there any way to stop it from happening?”  
“My mother wasn’t certain. She doesn’t think they can be stopped but… In a reality it is up to you. The first vision you saw. Not the one in the Chitauri realm, but on the stairs When it happened, did you do anything different say anything different?”  
“Uh... Well I said some new things. I didn’t change what I already said. Steve did.” Tony looks up. “After I said something know Steve assed a “What?””  
“That’s a good sign. Okay well we need to get you to a safe location.”  
“I’m safe here. I’ve been fine. I will be fine. I just need some time to…” Tony hears a buzzing noise. “Do you hear that?” Tony rubs his temples.  
“Hear what?” Steve asks  
“That buzzing.”

“No Tony. I don’t hear anything.”

“Okay… well anyway. I don’t need to go to another location I just- Oh my god how do you not hear that. It’s like a swarm bees. It’s in my ear.”  
“Tony.” Thor says “I think this may be the next attack. I need you to focus.” Tony closes his eyes. “Tony you can’t lose conciseness. It’s an attack on your mind. You go to sleep here, you wake up there.” he falls to the ground  
“Wake up where?”

“I don’t know but it’s not good. Open your eyes.”  
“I can’t.”

“You can Tony.”  
“Tony I’m so sorry.” Natasha says “But think about New York Think about how many lives where lost and what we had to do.”  
“What the hell are you doing?!?” Steve asks.  
“I’m trying to get him to breath. Wake up. Like from a nightmare.”  
Tony shakes his head.  
“Tony breath. Open your eyes. New York. Chitauri the other realm. Think about how cold it was. What it looked like. How it felt.”

“It’s so loud.”

“Tony open your eyes.”  
“How long does it last?”

“3 minutes.”

“How long has it been?”

“1 minute.”

“I can’t do this.” He closes his eyes and Natasha curses. She sighs and pulls him into a kiss hoping it’ll knock him out of this. Surprisingly Tony pulls back

“Sorry sweetheart you’re not my type.”

“What? Am I too strong and powerful for you?” Nat smirks.  
“No, you’re too feminine.” Steve can swear he’s sending hints to him.

“What?”

“Oh you didn’t know? I like men now.” Eyes all wide.

“Tony did you just come out as gay?” Natasha asks

“hmm. Did I? I mean I’ve always like men I  just preferred women but after Pepper…” Tony tries to form a thought. “Nah, I’m strictly into dick now.” He jokes at the reference everyone’s lost on.   
“Tony…”  Tony makes a noise.

“Wait, if I go now, doesn’t that mean the prophecy can’t be fulfilled? The one where I debate to go?”

“No, Tony that can still happen.” Thors voice booms

“Which means I’ll get back.” Tony closes his eyes. Natasha slaps him. Getting a slight reaction.

“One more minute Tony. You can do it.” He smiles.

“See you in a-“ And Steve kisses him. He kisses back. Natasha looks at the watch. 30 Seconds. After about 10 more seconds of kissing Tony pulls back. And pushes Captain off him.

“What the actual fuck. Why did you do that?!” Tony sounds angry. Very angry. Steve reddens.

“I thought that… It worked, and you kissed me back!” Steve tries to justify.

“Get out, Steve.”

“No! You were ready to give up, and I saved you.”

Tony barks out a hard sharp laugh. “You saved me? You just ruined our only lead! I had to get back in order for the prophecy to take place, but now? WE HAVE NOTHING! Not to mention you embarrassed both of us. Get out. Before I make you.” Steve’s face goes from shocked to hurt to mad. He storms out.

“Thank god, I couldn’t take another minute with him.”

No one speaks.

“Any one want to help me off the ground.” Banner lifts tony up and he sits on the couch.

“Tony, I don’t think that it was a good idea to let them take you. You wouldn’t have any armor or any weapons. You wouldn’t even be entirely there. Your mind would have been trapped and your body, it’d still be here. Dormant.” Thor say

Tony frowns. “So I wouldn’t have come back?”

“No you probably would have, but what I’m saying is it wouldn’t be good for you and we’d have been left trying to figure out how to fix it. Tony, Steve _did_ save you.” Emphasizing did. “I know you may not have liked how, but maybe you should apologize. If you followed through with your plans… it would’ve ended badly. And not just for you.”  Tony rubs his eyes. A major headache.

“Alright, I’m going to my lab… just.” Tony sighs. Hey gets up steadies himself and goes to his lab.

“J, is Steve in the building?”

“Yes sir he currently is in the Gym.”

“Pull up feed.” He looks over to the monitor and sees steves angry face as he’s working out. Without a spotter. Tony rolls his eyes. He satnds up and heads to the gym. The door opens and Steve looks over. His face is hard an angry.

“Leave.”

“Look, Cap-“

“No Stark, I don’t want to hear that you were right and that I was an idiot.”

“Look-“

“No-“

“Steve please.” Steve stops cutting him off at the use of his first name.

“Go ahead.”

“I’m sorry, you were right. Going would have been a bad decision. I get that. I was wrong and mean to say those things to you. And thank you… for saving me.” Steve puts the weights down he had been holding.

“I’m sorry for kissing you. I thought it was the only way.”

“It’s uh fine. Thank you.” Tony didn’t like it because it was Steve, Tony didn’t like it because Steve was only doing it to save him. And Tony lo-likes Steve. He’s finally admitted it to himself. Little does he know Steves thinking the exact same thing. Well not the exact same, more… he may be the slightest bit gay for Tony. But he would never like him back... right?

“well, now that the airs cleared. Im gonna go lay down I have a killer headache. I just wanted to make things right. I like being your friend.”

“Right friend.” Steve says a little disappointed. And Tony catches it but it’s gone. He leaves and goes to his almost always unused bed.

He goes to his mini fridge and takes a sip of his opened lemonade. He drinks a sip, noticing it tastes funny he shrugs and puts it back in. Maybe it’s just old. He yawns and lays down on the bed. He falls asleep. He dreams, of course he dreams.

 

~~

“Change. The trial is starting.” He gets thrown a cloak and puts it on.

He  heads out and there is a council of things.

“How do you plead Tony Stark of murdering an entire realm,”

“Uh… not guilty?” he knows hes guilty so does everyone. He doesn’t know the right choice.

“Uh huh. So you didn’t bring a atomic bomb into the Chitauri realm?”

“I uh… I did.”

“So you plead guilty.”

“No I plead not guilty.”

“But youjust admitied it.”

“No, I was defending the earth! I saved people!”

“We are not denying that fact. We are saying that you killed Chitaurians Mothers, children, everyday people. DO you not think you should pay for that. That is genocide. And it will not be tolerated.”

“Was the bombing of Hiroshima any different? It ended a war, but innocents died.”

“That was a city not a species. And we don’t play by midguard laws. We have our own. Your testimony makes no difference. The only difference is if you admitted to the destruction. Since you ‘defended’ yourself we now know you do not regret what you did. Therefor you will be sentenced to 150 years in the pit.”

Tony doesn’t know what that is but instead he says “I’ll be dead in 50!”

“The pit does not allow aging or dying.” He slams his gavel. “Court adjourned. Never let this man see light of day again.”

“NO! Help NO!” He gets pulled away.

~~

He wakes up screaming. Jarvis turns the lights on and Steve and Natasha burst through the door guns and shield blazing everyone on their way. They lower weapons when they see Tony shaking on the bed. Steve runs over.

“Tony? Hey you’re okay. It was just a dream.” Steve grabs Tony’s hands which are shaking.

“no… it wasn’t. It’s going to happen.” Tony’s eyes are wide. Tony shakes his head as everyone else gets there. “Steve.” He says pained. “It’s going to happen. No matter what. I can feel it. I can feel it.”

“What’s going to happen Tony.” Tony shakes his head. Eyes clearing up. He wipes his eyes and stands up.

“Lets go eat I’m starved.” No one moves.

“Guys, we can talk about it later, right now… I just want to forget it.” They nod.

“He’s right. We can talk about this later.” Steve says. They all nod and head for the elevators.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sticking with me!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lHey guys, big stuff happens in this chapter! Coulson and Skye make an appearance! Hope you enjoy.

Prevoulsy:

“Guys, we can talk about it later, right now… I just want to forget it.” They nod.

“He’s right. We can talk about this later.” Steve says. They all nod and head for the elevators.

 ~

 

After they eat Steve speaks up.

“What's going to happen Tony?” Tony wipes his eyes

“I saw my trial.” Tony tried to keep emotions out of his voice but it comes out quiet and scared. He clears his throat. “I saw my trial and my punishment.” His voice a little louder now.

“What is it?” Steve asks tentatively

“It wasn't good.” Tony answers truthfully.

“Tony-“

“No. I don't want you guys worrying in case it does happen.” Tony blinks he's getting a little dizzy.

“But If we know where you are we can save you! Tony!” Steve insists.

Tony blinks the edges of his vision getting blurry. “But you save me when I know where I am so I save you?” He says jumbled

“What? Tony that doesn't make sense.” Tony puts his head in his hands which are shaking

“I don't feel too well…” Tony's says falling out of his chair. “Tony!” The others jump to his side. “Lemonade!” Tony Remembers “lemonade!”

“what Tony? Lemonades not going to help, we needs do something!”

“I believe sir is indicating that he drank some lemonade in his room prior to his nap.” Jarvis informs helpfully.

“Nat!” Steve says Nat already on her way. “Tony? Tony can you hear me?” Tony nods sweat on his forehead.

 “What's happening?”

“Bruce? Any ideas?”

“Um well uh-“

“Bruce!”

“Um…” Natasha runs in with the bottle. He sniffs it. And looks concerned

“Definitely drugged.”

“Will he die?!”

Bruce shrugs “I don't know. Most likely not… But…” Bruce frowns.  

“But why?” Thor asks

“To make us vulnerable.” Steve realizes. “We're and avenger short. And we need to protect him at the same time! Oh my god get him to a lock down zone now!!” Everyone is lifting him and they reach the stairs when the alarms go off.

“Go! I'll bring him down!” Steve yells to the team. He throws Tony over his shoulder and runs down the stairs. He opens the door and lays Tony in it. He locks it and heads up grabbing his shield on the way. Only to see no intruder.

“The alarm?” He asked the other confused avengers. They shrug.

“Jarvis?” Steve asks. Silence.

“What's happening?”

“Nat go check on Tony and make sure he's still there Clint-“ glass shatters and people burst through the windows. “Go Nat!” Steve yells as he throws his shield at a sword. These “people” aren't people. But they look it. Just like Tony said in his dream.

The battle lasts an hour. They tower floor is destroyed and they have no word from Tony or Nat. Thor hits the last alien and he falls. The room is silent except the heavy breathing.

“Tony!” Steve runs down to the safe room. He sees Natasha lying on the ground, conscious but obviously hurt, but not seriousoly... Two dead aliens next to her. The door still locked. They open the door and see Tony sitting up. Eyes closed.

“Tony! Thank god! We thought…” Tony doesn't open his eyes. “Tony?” Steve puts a hand on Tony and Tony's eyes shoot open sand he's shaking.

“Hey Tony it's alright.”

“The drug… It's didn't knock me unconscious.” His voice shaky.

“What'd it do?” Steve asks hesitantly.

“it made me relive every death and Injury  I've ever caused.” Tony's eyes are full of pain. “I realize now what I must do.”

“So this is how you give up, Tony you can’t.”

“No. This isn't right.” He gets up. “This doesn’t happen here.”

“Then we’re not letting you leave.”

“Steve.” Tony smiles tears fall down his face. “You don’t understand. I have to. I know how this ends. Please, trust me.”

“No Tony! No. Stop smiling, this is not how this ends! You are not going to die. I won’t let you.”

“Steve. Oh Steve. I’m going to be back. And then we can be… whatever we want.” Tony steps forward.

“Tony, we can do that now. You can’t leave.” Tony looks behind Steve at Thor.

“You understand what’s happening don’t you?”

Thor nods. “We must let Tony do this. It’s prophecy. And you have to trust him. If he say’s he’s going to be back, he’ll be back.”

“Steve we have go to the patio. And I have to get my suit.” Steve moves out of the way

“please tony listen to me.” Tears glitter in Steves eyes. Tony puts an hand on steves arm.

“Two weeks. Steve, two weeks.”

“How do you know tony?!”

“It’s clear now.” the only explanation is given, because tony doesn't know how he just feels it. He puts his suit on. They follow his to the patio, Natasha too whose leaning heavily on Clint.

Tony’s look around at the team. A tear slides down his face.  
“Please don’t do this Tony.” Steve says  
“I have to. I’m sorry, you’ll understand later. I promise.”  
“No, Tony. We won’t.” Nat says voice hard.  
“This is suicide Tony. A slow and painful suicide.”  
“Tell me if there’s another option. That doesn’t involve you all getting killed.”  
“Let me go.” Steve says.  
“No. This has to be me and you know it. It’s okay guys. I’ve had a long enough life”, he knows otherswise now but he says it anyway.  
“Tony you’re 44!”  
“I know.”  
“Tony I’m 70! Let me.”  
“This isn’t up for discussion.” He shrugs. “Thanks for everything.” He winks “I’ll see you soon.” That’s new…  
He starts flying as he hears “TONY!” shouted from all of the team but he ignores it. And he flies. He flies out of new York away from his friends and he goes to where this all started. Afghanistan. It all makes so much more sense now. 'They’re aliens that look like people.' They _are_ people. They _are_ aliens. Well, not really. Not technically. They’re inhuman. One of Shields agents is an inhuman.

“Put all power in the thrusters J, I want to get there soon. And look up this inhuman agent.”

Skye, her name is. She’s part of Coulson’s team. Who is not so dead But we know that. It was because Cause he’s not level 7. Pfft. He lands in the desert right where he escaped. It’s mostly ash and sand now but. He lands and takes off the suit. Hides it in the sand with the tracker in his pants pocket.

“Hello? Coulson?... uh Skye?”

“Stark.” He hears from behind. He turns around. And he sees Coulson. He smiles until he see’s to look on his face.

“Not so dead.” Coulson’s face is grim, and standing next to him is a female, who is assumed to be Skye.

“How'd you hear that?"

"Through some not so very good people"

"I did die. For an undisclosed amount of time. But I believe you have a trail to face?”

“Any idea the judgement? I heard 150 years in the pit?”

“Right your visions.” Tony frowns wondering how he knows about it and who else does. “Well, I’m sorry to say that is most likely your punishment if that’s what you saw. Good news is… if you can survive that… the pit is in another dimension. 100 years = 1 week in earth time. You’ll be back in two weeks. Only for you…. It’d have been and felt like 150 years. You won't have aged, but you may not be the same person. You might want to walk away and disappear. My associate here, Skye, will not tell the others. Now that you have all the information the choice is yours. Choice wisely. You have 5 minutes.” Coulson takes a step to turn away.

 

“The decision is already made.” Tony steps up.

“Take me to your people.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone guess that they were inhumans?! I honestly did not have this planned when i said they looked human but not. And the pit? That came to me recently too! Love to hear what you think! (Tags updated didn't want you to notice before reading keep the surprise.)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys I just did some updating shout out to Fire for letting me know of these inconsistencies. If anyone else notices anything I missed or anything that doesn't add up please don't hesitate to let me know. I'll fix it! :)

Previously

“The decision is already made.” Tony steps up.

“Take me to your people.”

~

 

The decision in Tony’s mind was simple. A calculation really. He has killed roughly 160,000 breathing creatures. That may seem like a lot, but the other planet, his weapons, his suit, and indirectly everything he did with the avenger makes a big dent. Apparently they thought that avengers counted. Who ever they were. So if you take 160,000 people divide that  by 150 years you get 1,066 people per year. divide that by 12 months you get 88 per month. Divide that by 30 days you get  3 people per day. All in all that seems pretty fair to Tony. He doesn’t know if he’ll get sleep. He’s assuming not. But he’s assuming he’ll get roughly 6 hours of breaks throughout the day. Just a random guess. That’s roughly 6-8 hours of torture per death. Tony’s not trying to measure the worth of someone’s life in hours of torture and pain, (Which what he’s assuming the pit is. Like when Sam was trapped in Lucifer’s cage in supernatural. Yes he watches that shh) but he thinks that reasonable. Maybe the judge thought that too during sentencing. Which is yet to happen. Currently he’s sitting  room nursing a sprained wrist. He thinks back

 

~

 

“Okay.” Coulson says. “Follow me.” He waits for tony to catch up.

“I’m glad you’re not dead. I wish we’d known sooner.”

“Classified.”

“But some agent gets to know?” He looks at Skye

“She’s a valuable resource. And one of my personal friends. So tread carefully.”

“We took your death pretty hard."

"Yes, Fury figued you would."

"He used you, used us,"

"It's all part of the business, Stark."

"You still wouldn't know if you didn't hear it, through people."

We head in a door. That goes underground.

“Would we have ever known?"

"Clint and Natasha probably would have known soon. Had you not told them."

"Are you going to visit them?"

"No."

"I've told them already  they'll want to see you."

"Tony, i will not. and you may not even remember any of this conversation. Tony. Do you realize you won’t remember and know everything you know now? In 150 years you’ll forget things and people and places. This will feel like a dream at the least. Do you fully understand the consequences of your choice?” Phil stops and looks at Tony. He didn’t think about what would happen to his memory, but he knows what to do.

“Phil, I will remember this. You.”

“You may. You may not. And even if you do it won’t be hard to convince you it was a dream, a delusion. A wish. The seriousness of the situation is that your IQ might not be what is now. I hope you realize this Tony. You won’t be the same. You won’t remember the little things the important things. Hell you might be crazy after this. I’m not trying to scare you tony but you need to be prepared.” They head down the last few sets of steps. He sees the first sign of life. Two guards.

“I was beginning to wonder if you let him go.”

“I gave him the chance, he said no.”

“That won’t help your trail.”

“Stark.” The Skye girl speaks for the first time. “You’re doing the right thing. No matter the consequences.” He nods at her and they leave. He gives a longing look back as the disappear.

 

Tony’s being walked into a room, but people that aren’t people. They aren’t  human. They’re inhuman he knows that now. They walk him into a room where they push him down. He falls to the floor with an oomph. And he can tell his arm is sprained. They shut the door and lock him in.  
“The master will come for you where you can live out your punishment.”  
“My punishment for saving earth?” He says what he says in the dream even though it’s clearer now. It’s like an instinct he’s not doing it on purpose.  
“For murdering an entire species. You have broken many Laws and you will pay.”  
“IT WAS A WAR!! I WAS FIGHTING IN IT!”  
“You didn’t have to kill all of them.”  
“They were trying to kill all of us! What did we do?”  
“You were wrong.”  
“But they came to us! I was just defending.”  
“You killed them and they would pay just as you will if they hadn’t died, by your hands.”  
“Do I get a trial?  
“You will be judged by our people.”  
“Do they all think like you?”  
“Enough questions. You will stay here for the night and tomorrow is judgment day.”  
“What the best thing that could happen?”

He pauses and looks back “Death.”

 

And now he’s sitting alone wishing he had something to do. It’s probably been an hour. An hour and he has 150 years.

“Oh no.” He feels the pain in hishead.

 

~

“TONY! Guys he’s back!” Steve runs to him but Tonys face is blank “Tony?”

His eyes glaze around the room. He reaches out to touch Steve but his hand stops mid-way. He draws it back. The others enter the room happy but see the looks on their faces.

“Is he okay?” Clint asks

“Hes back, that’s all that matter right now.”

“Back? home?” His voice is rapsy.

“yeah Home tony. Let’s get you some water.” He nods. He follows Steve and Steve gets the pitcher out of the fridge. He goes to get a glass but tony drinks it from the pitcher. He drinks it all before the glass is out of the cupboard.

“Okay, why don’t you go shower… shave.” He vagulay wonders why he doesn’t need a haircut after 150 years. Maybe hair doesn’t grow there. Nothing grows there. Hair shows age. And he didn't

“Shower. Yeah shower.”

“Okay tony don’t worry we’ll take care of you.”

 

~

He jolts awake when he gets spoken too. He doesn’t have time to ponder the vision.

“Change. The trial is starting.” He gets thrown a cloak and puts it on.

Head heads out and there is a council of inhumans.

“How do you plead Tony Stark of murdering an entire realm,”

“Uh… not guilty?” he knows hes guilty so does everyone. He doesn’t know the right choice.

“Uh huh. So you didn’t bring a atomic bomb into the Chitauri realm?”

“I uh… I did.”

“So you plead guilty.”

“No I plead not guilty.”

“But you just admitted it.”

“No, I was defending the earth! I saved people!”

“We are not denying that fact. We are saying that you killed Chitaurians Mothers, children, everyday people. DO you not think you should pay for that. That is genocide. And it will not be tolerated.”

“Was the bombing of Hiroshima any different? It ended a war, but innocents died.”

“That was a city not a species. And we don’t play by midgard laws. We have our own. Your testimony makes no difference. The only difference is if you admitted to the destruction. Since you ‘defended’ yourself we now know you do not regret what you did. Therefor you will be sentenced to 150 years in the pit.”

Tony doesn’t know what that is but instead he says “I’ll be dead in 50!”

“The pit does not allow aging or dying.” He slams his gavel. “Court adjourned. Never let this man see light of day again.”

“NO! Help NO!” He gets pulled away.

 

He gets’ tossed into a room. From the looks of it it’s not the pit. But he’s been alone for what feels like 2 days. He can’t be sure there are no windows. 2 days and 150 years. What did he get himself into. He gets lost in his thoughts again, wondering what’s going to happen next. He thinks of Bruce. His science buddy, he thinks of Nat and Clint. The pair of assassins. And how they could keep Coulson a secret. He thinks about Thor, and his ungodly… or maybe godly arms. And how he’s a great man, even despise his troubles. And he thinks about Steve. That hint. “We can be whatever we want.” That’s what he told Steve. That’s not the troubling part. The part is Steve said “We can do that now.” Does Steve have feelings for me? I most defiantly have feelings for him. Well He will remember. He will remember everything about Steve and himsel And his team.

“I’ll remember.” He says you to himself  willing for it to be true. “I’ll remember.” He sees a rock in the corner of his eye. It’s sharp. Sharp enough to cut himself… He grabs it. Something he’ll know so he remembers. IMCAT Iron man Captain America Together. Got it. He’ll remember, so he digs it into his left hand. Precisely. So he knows it’s going to leave a scar. He reads it IMCAT. He nods. He thinks for a second and under that writes SC. Saw Coulson. The door opens and hopes he doesn’t get an infection although that’s the least of his worries.

“Well, the arrangements have been made. Your flight is ready.”

“Flight?” He thought this was an underground thing.

“Yes, you will fly to the dimension and you will be brought to that pit. If you survive the council decided you can return. Very lucky for you.”

“Yes. Very.” Guards come in and hall him to his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how well I got coulson and skye. I haven't watched shield in a while so bare with me. Hope you enjoyed! Comment Kudos bookmark subscribe and see you next time!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter sorry it's been a little long, I'm having some medical problems so I'm home from college for the semester. on the upside it gives me more time to write. Make the best of a bad situation right? And the title comes into play today!

Previously: 

“Yes, you will fly to the dimension and you will be brought to that pit. If you survive the council decided you can return. Very lucky for you.”

“Yes. Very.” Guards come in and hall him to his feet. 

~

 

Steve is pacing back and forth in the common room. Tony’s been gone four days. Four days and they have no sign of where he went and if he’s still alive. Tony promised him two weeks. 14 days. And it’s only been 4. He’s barely eating barely sleeping. It reminds him of the man himself. The other Avengers stop asking him if he’s okay or to sit down or to eat something.  2 weeks is not a lot of time, but who knows where he is and what will happen. What has already happened. He turns around to pace the length of the room again.

“Can’t we have Jarvis track where the suit is?”

“Jarvis isn’t here right now Steve we’ve been over this.” Natasha says

That’s right Tony must have turned Jarvis off so we can’t find him. It makes the house seem even emptier. Which is weird because they rarely saw tony up here anyway, but somehow knowing he’s not in the building makes it worse.

“Okay then Bruce, find him.”

“We’ve been over this, Tony turned off the computers so we couldn’t track him. Steve.” Natasha says standing up. “He said two weeks. After two weeks we can worry.”

“I’m worrying now! We have no idea where he went and what’s happening! We need to save him!”

“Steve. He’s paying the price for saving us. We need to let him. It was stupid and reckless. Yes. BUT he said 2 weeks. 10 more days Steve 10 more days. He stops pacing.

“What am I supposed to do for 10 days?” Nat just shrugs.

 

 

~

 

Well, Tony’s officially lost track of time. Well that happened years ago. He kept the time well for about a year. And then he just couldn’t remember. Had it been 357 days? Or 458 day? He didn’t know. But that had to have been at least 20 years ago. He’s proud he still remembers that.

He was right. And he was wrong.

It’s not like luficers cage. Well it is but it isn’t. Lucifer tortured Sam. Destroyed his soul and everything he stood for. What’s happening here is different. It’s not his soul, half the time it’s not even his body. It’s his mind. And that’s what scares him, his best guess is it’s been close to 25 years. And he’s still very coherent. When they taunt him, he Always (Occasionally) goes back at them. He’s proud to say 25 year and he’s still an ass. ‘

The thing he was right about is the time. He gets breaks. It all happens at once. A constant 18 hours of tortures, depending on who’s doing it psychological or physical. This guy, Red.  He likes to call him(He’s literally red), tonys a favorite of his. He is purely physical. He and his daughter don’t get along. Can’t imagine why. So he takes out his rage in the pit. And well, he likes that Tony screams when you cut him just right. Now Hoot, (He has an owl tattoo) he’s calculated. Tony’s pretty sure he’s a doctor. A mind doctor. The word has escaped his vocabulary. He books up 5 days at a time with no break. Just to see how tony reacts to certain… things. He also happens to be psychic. So he shoots images into Tonys head. Words phrases pictures. Tony actually doesn’t mind Red too much after his visits with Hoot. His body heals after his visits. Oh yeah

Every night the 6 hours of ‘rest’ he gets is just him getting his skin back. His wounds heal in those times. And it hurts. But his body will stay intact not his mind.

But the person Tony really hates is Lucifer himself. Or that’s  what tony calls him. Lucifer comes in twice a day. Twice a day for 20 minutes. He doesn’t think about what he does. He doesn’t talk or cry or scream. He just stay blank. And he won’t admit it to himself so he sure as hell won’t admit it to the avengers when he get out.

Right the avengers.

His faithful friends.

He remembers them. Of course he does it’s been only 25 years. What do you expect? Him to forget them?

You got Steve Rogers. Hes sure. And uh Bruce Banner. They were friends. And you got Nat and clint. Yeah and thor. Yes he remembers them. He doesn’t remember voices. Just faces. And the scaring on his hand.

IMCAT Iron man Captain America together. He remembers. He doesn’t remember what SC is. It was important but… too late now. His whole body heals. Except the scare; Maybe it’s a mental thing but whatever it is he’s glad its’ there. He closes his eyes. He gets 3 hours of sleep. If he can fall asleep. He usually can’t because he’s healing. He’s hoping tonight he can get a little because hoot was there and his body doesn’t need healing. But his mind won’t let him. He digs his fingers into his palm to ground himself. A habit he’s not proud to have picked up. When they bleed they don’t heal either. He wishes they did because they make him feel weak. He still does it anyway. He wishes he would fall asleep and within the hour, he does.

 

It’s been a week and two days. Just Steve worrying and the avengers pacing. The days drag on. It's hard for Steve to want to get out of the bed but in case Tony gets back early. He gets dressed and heads upstairs. He actually has been surviving on pop tarts. He doesn't cook this past week. Or clean. The avengers are just as worried for Steve as they are Tony. If he doesn't come back in 2 weeks the avengers don't know what will happen to Steve. They just pray for the best as Steve eats his strawberry pop tarts.

 

 

It's been 100 years. Well that's Pea tells him. Red and Hoot are dead and gone now. Lucifer lives in the pit so he doesn't age either. Sadly. But Pea here is different. Pea talks to him. It's strange. Tony doesn't understand why. He talks to him about his life so he doesn't forget. He says it's important to remember, that everything in life is connected. He says there are no coincidences. Not in Tony's life. The nuke? The visions? everything is connected to something. In every world, in every life. It's All Connected. Tony doesn’t understand what any of that means but he pays attention anyway.

Pea told him that Steve is worrying. He doesn't  know how he knows  but he does. But he's only here once a week for an hour.

Then you have Fly. He only got his name because it was a fly in the room at  the same time. Although Hes not sure how a fly  was in there. It doesn’t matter though. fly is red put 2.0 he likes who likes to hit and he likes pain but not when it’s towards him. like most people in the pit. And then you have purple. Purple got his name because he were a purple shirt his first day and his second and his third. Purple is the same as fly and red.. He likes and knives and swords and anything sharp.  No psychological torture. Only Pea who helps him say himself but he doesn’t know how or why but no matter he still appreciates it. He was close to forgetting his own name and then Pea helped saved him cared for him. He doesn’t know why he probably has his own personal agenda. But no matter what it’s saved him. Just pain and pain and pain for 80 years before he came along now he’s over 85 but still comes in for his  visits because without him he would be lost He would be dead or wish he would be.   But Peas getting old. And not long will Pea be gone too. He has a lot more down time since Hoot died… which is almost as bad. 

Pea got to him to late for the Scars though. IMCAT. Means nothing to him now. SC. Gone longer. Pea said he was trying to figure it out. That was… a year ago? Tony’s not sure. He gave up hope on knowing.

He tries to remember the… uh … Avengers! That’s right the Avengers. And you got Steve. He can’t remember last names. And you got hulk... Bruce? Yeah. You got the Arrow. No not the arrow he uses an arrow. What’s his name? Tony can’t remember. Pea told him yesterday, but he just forgets. Just like the rest of them. And You have the red hair one. That badass with guns. And the alien. With the hammer. Yeah. He’s proud of himself. This is a good day. He remembered them all. He smiles. Until the door opens and Lucifer walks in.

 

 

13 days. Tomorrow. Tomorrow Tony better be home. If he’s not Steve will travel to the ends of the earth to find him. And even that might not be enough. He’s moved on from pop tarts to Cereal. Not because he thought I’d be better it’s because they ran out. Steve always does the shopping. Only he eats the cereal dry because there Is no milk. He’ll go shopping once Tony’s safe. He grabs the last of the box and heads to the couch. The other Avengers worrying from a far.

 

Peas dead. Fly and Purple. Gone. These last 50 years were the worst. With pea gone, it was only this new player. He actually got a name. Merlyn. No first name. He is pure hell. He books up every minute of everyday. He only doesn’t get him when Lucifers here, and the now 4 hours of healing. But it’s okay. Well it’s not okay. He’s far from okay. But he’s being realesed today. It’ been 150 years. He’s scared. He’s known nothing but fear and pain for longer then he’s been alive. What happened here, is more fimailer then his home. Where is that any way? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know much of anything. It’s okay. Someone said Coulson is going to be waiting for him. He doesn’t know who that is. They said Agent. SO maybe he’s a travel agent getting him home. He shrugs. He’s going away. Away from here. The release his chains and he falls. His arms give and he can’t use them, they’re not damaged, just sore.

He walks out, eyes wide not remembering what any of this looks like. They put him on a plane, and he digs his fingers into his palm as they take off. They are cut up. They never healed. They’re bloody. But he’ll make them okay. Once he gets… to… uh… um… He doesn’t remember his name. Their names. He wants to cry. They’re going to be waiting for him, but he won’t know them. Not really.

Once the plane lands he sees a man… Maybe it’s Coulson.

He gets out and gasps when he feels the sun on his face. He forgot what that felt like. He nearly falls. He wraps his arms around him. And smiles.

“Stark.” He frowns…

“That’s me right?”

Coulson frowns.

“Yeah, you’re Tony Stark. And you’re going home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah Tony home.”

The plane lands on a roof, a roof over a tower that says Avengers, He remembers, they were… are the avengers.

He walks down the platform Coulson, not coming in.

“TONY! Guys he’s back!” Steve runs to him but Tonys face is blank “Tony?”

His eyes glaze around the room. He reaches out to touch Steve but his hand stops mid-way. He draws it back. The others enter the room happy but see the looks on their faces.

“Is he okay?” Clint asks

“Hes back, that’s all that matter right now.”

“Back? home?” His voice is rapsy.

“yeah Home tony. Let’s get you some water.” He nods. He follows Steve and Steve gets the pitcher out of the fridge. He goes to get a glass but tony drinks it from the pitcher. He drinks it all before the glass is out of the cupboard.

“Okay, why don’t you go shower… shave.” He vagulay wonders why he doesn’t need a haircut after 150 years. Maybe hair doesn’t grow there. Nothing grows there. Hair shows age. He didn’t age.

“Shower. Yeah shower.”

“Okay tony don’t worry we’ll take care of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey another Chapter, This ones long!

 Previously

“Okay, why don’t you go shower… shave.” He vagulay wonders why he doesn’t need a haircut after 150 years. Maybe hair doesn’t grow there. Nothing grows there. Hair shows age. He didn’t age.

“Shower. Yeah shower.” 

“Okay tony don’t worry we’ll take care of you.”

~

Tony sits on the couch after his shower. He was in there for an hour, before Steve knocked on the door worried. He changed, and is now sitting on the couch next to Steve and Bruce, and across from the rest of the team. He’s not sure names though. He’s Tony, and that’s Steve… or Cap, not sure. And uh you have Banner. Cap/Steve called him that. And Nat… he’s not sure. Tore? No that’s not right. And Kline no, that’s wrong too. He’s scared to ask. He rubs his scar, not sure what it is. Steve notices.

“IMCAT?” This jolts him “SC? What does that mean… and when did you get that scar, you’ve been gone two weeks.”

“Um, I don’t remember what they mean… I know they’re old though.”

“you didn’t have those when you left.” Steve says and tony shrinks. They don’t know. He’s not entirely sure if he can trust them. It’s been so long. Surely they can know how long it’s been? Steve is waiting for an answer.

“It was longer. Where I was.” This shocks all the avengers.

“How long has it been?” Steve asks again.

“it’s been a while.” Steve frowns.

“In years Tony.” He glares at Steve.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it to a stranger! Every think of that?!” Steve’s breath catches

“Stranger?”                                   

Tony tightens him mouth, “Tony we’re your friends. We’re a team. We care about each other.” The red head says.

“It might be more believable if I could remember your names.” The Avengers looked shocked, and sad. Like they want to cry.

“Why don’t you tell us what you know, and we’ll fill you in on the rest?”

Tony nods.

“Well, You’re Steve… or Cap… I heard both, I’m not sure.” Steve looks like he’s about ready to cry.

“I’m Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America.” Tonys eyes light up.

“I remember. Not a lot, but you hated me.” He frowns. “But I don’t think you do anymore.” He looks up to Steve to clarify.

“No tony I don’t hate you.” He smiles.

“And you, are green. And banner… we were friends.” Bruce nods smililing

“I’m Bruce Banner, better known as The Hulk and you were my “science bro”.”

“Science huh. I rememeber science.”

“That’s good Tony. What else.”

“Nat. You’re like a badass, right? Like a ninja with guns?” Nat smiles at that.

“Yeah, Tony I’m Natasha Romanov, better known as Black Widow, and yes I’m good with guns.”

“And you are almost a god with a hammer no one can pick up.” Tony looks a Thor

“Man of Iron, You are correct. My name is Thor, and my Mjolnir is my hammer and I’m an Asgardian.”

“Alien.” He says hesitantly

“Yes, but he’s our team member and a good guy.” Steve says Tony gives him a look. Then nods

“Okay Thor.” He looks at the archer “You, use arrows… and shield?” He says to Clint. He frowns that tony doesn’t remember much

“I’m Clint Barton… better known as Hawkeye and yes I use a bow and arrows and I work for Shield.”

”Doesn’t the guy the dropped me off work for Shield… Coulson?”

“You saw Coulson?” Natasha says.

“Wait a sec. Saw Coulson. SC. I saw Coulson before I went in! I remember. Because they’re not human. I said the people aren’t human but look it, they’re the _in_ humans.”

“oh my god Tony!”

“We had a converstatioin before we went in. He said… he said.” Tony puts his hand over his mouth. “It was so long ago… I can’t remember. I’m sorry.”

“Hey tony it’s alright. You’ve been gone… 10-20 years?” Steve subtly asks. Tony laughs.

“No, it was longer.” And then he frowns. “a lot longer.”

“Tony, how long we’re you gone?” Steve asks.

“150 years.” They take in a gasp of breath. No one speaks

“I think I’m going to get some sleep. I haven’t… well anyway maybe someone could have food ready for when I wake up?”

“Yeah sure Tony.” Tony stands up and walks half way across the room before he stops.

“I don’t…”

“I’ll show you.” Natasha says reading his mind.

“Thanks.” They walk to the private elevator.

“You built all these floors for us.”

“I know. I just don’t remember where. Um can I ask you something?”

“Of course Tony you can ask us anything.”

“What’s my name. Like you’re black widow and captain America… what’s mine and why?”

“Oh Tony… You’re Iron Man. And you built a flying suit that you battle in.”

“Right. I remember.” He smiles but Natasha can tell he’s lying. She forces a smile.  
“Here we are. Get some rest. I’m sure after a few day it’ll come back to you.”

He nods.

He lays down. But he can’t sleep. This room is so foreign. It was that room for 150 years, he stands up and lays on the floor. It’s better. More… similar. Tony knows a few thing about him. He’s Tony Stark. He’s a billionaire. He’s a genius. Or so he’s told. He is an Avenger. He had a drinking-… He needs a drink.

“jarvis? Oh! Jarvis?”

“yes, Sir?”

“Where is the alcohol?”

“I believe you threw most of it out, but you have guest supply in your closet.”

“Good, good.” He stands up and grabs a bottle of whiskey. He drinks it straight. Not a lot just enough to dull his mind. Just enough so he can fall asleep. He takes another sip. And one more. He lays down. He wonders why he ever gave it up. He rolls over and falls asleep almost instantly. It’ll be his little secret.

 

He wakes to a knocking at the door. He covers his head, being slightly hung over. He tells himself it was the alcohol keeping the nightmares away. That it’s a good thing he drank it.

“What?” he asks steve

“Tony? We ordered a pizza.” Tony bolts up in bed.

“Food?!” he ask almost to eagerly there was no food in the pit. You never got hungry.

“Yeah, tony. It’s like you haven’t eaten in 150 years.” Steve laughs

“I haven’t.” Steve stops laughing. “There was no hunger or thirst in the pit.”

“The pit.” Steve mumbles “Well, we got your favorite. Com get it while it’s still hot.” He smiles and gets out of bed swaying slightly at his head, but he keeps moving.

“Oh my god that smells good.” He grabs a piece and bite right into it. God help him he moans. Everyone laughs but he doesn’t care. He grabs a soda, and nearly chugs it all.

“I’m in heaven. I  must be in heaven.” He grabs a garlic knot and eats in in one bite.  The others look at him with surpise who would have thought It would take food to make Tony happy. “Oh my god. I need another slice. He grabs it and starts munching on it almost dancing around this floor. “This is orgasmic. You guys should take some or I’ll eat the whole pie.” He says his mouth filled with food. He downs the rest of his soda and grabs another can. The avenegers just smile watching. Steve whispers to the group “he hasn’t eaten in 150 years. He said he never got hungry… where he was.”

“Well, he’s home and he’s happy. That’s all that matters right now.”

“I want Chinese food! I want chocolate. And cheese curls. Oh my god can we have cake?”

The avengers laugh. “Yeah tony we can have cake.” Natasha replies. Tony literally shoots his fist in vicotory. “oh my god, Steve? Can you make your homemade chocolate dream cake?!” Tony’smouth is wide open and he’s unknowingly giving Steve his “please puppy dog eyes look” the one Steve can’t resit. He laughs and nods. “Yeah Tony I can.” Tony runs and gives him a hug. “Thank you!” the avengers never thought they’d see Tony like this especially about food. “I haven’t eaten in so long it’s like I’m eating it for the first time and I want EVERYTHING! I want chicken, turkey I want steak and potatoes I want a burger. I want mac and cheese. I want mac and cheese _on_ a burger! Oh my god is that a thing? We have to make it a thing! I want all of it.” The avengers smile. “We need to go shopping! Steve lets go. I’ll bring my credit card we’re buying the store!” Steve laughs.

“I guess we’re going to the store!” They laugh and wave them bye. Tony grabs a slice of pizza to go. He ate 6 slices. And half a dozen garlic knots.  
“So Steve, what’s new. Tell me something you’ve told me before but I might have forgotten so remind me. Now seeing you guys I remember the conversation we had over the meal and stuff. The truth or dare but only truth. Tell me something about myself.”

“Well you’re tony stark, genius billionaire philanthropist. Reformed play boy.” He hesitantly looks at Tony. “Gay.”

“Hmph.” Tony nods “Makes sense… were we…?” Tony wonders “I mean, we weren’t sleeping together right? Cause I’d totally remember that. But were we like… close? Or like a couple ?”

“I mean we were close, not a couple.”

“Wait, are you even gay? It’s like not okay for you right? Cause your old.” The question shocks Steve. Not the part where tony calls him old, the part he asks if he’s gay. The truth is he doesn’t know. He might be… what do they call it bi? But he sure likes Tony. The time he was away made him realize that. He realizes he’s taking an awfully long time to answer.

“Um… maybe? I’m uh not really sure.” Steve answers honestly. “And being gay or whatever is totally fine Tony. And I’m not that old anyway. Not compared to you.” Steve freezes. He didn’t mean to bring it up. But tony just laughs.

“Good point capsicle.” Tony freezes “Did I just? I called you that right?”

“Yeah sometimes.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not anymore.”

“Okay. And you are literaly 70. I’m what 44? The years in the pit don’t count cause they weren’t earth years. Boom. You’re older.”

“oh but you said you were there for 150 years. In your time you’re 191. You’re older.”

“no, because I was born in 1970. You were born in 1920. You’re 50 years older than me. Doesn’t matter The pit doesn’t count. You’re older.”  
“my time on the ice doesn’t count if the pit doesn’t count. Technically speaking I’m 20 and you’re 41.” Steve smiles triumphantly but Tony’s face goes pale.

“Oh my god. I like a man half my age.” Tony realizes. “You can’t even legally drink! What the hell am I doing?” The last part he says more to himself.

“Woah, Tony.” He stops the man. But he just keeps going

“You even look younger than me. Oh my god. You’re barely legal. I could be your father! Oh my god. There is something terribly wrong with me.”

“Tony!” Steve shout and pulls to the side of the road. Tony barely realized they got in a car and were driving. “there is nothing wrong with you.”

“That’s what they all said.” Tony mumbles

“What? Tony, I’m 74.  I just look younger. Which you should be happy about.” Steve tries to joke but it doesn’t work. “Look tony I don’t care who’s older. My age doesn’t matter. Your age doesn’t matter. I.” Steve pauses but tony looks at him. “I like you too okay.”

“What?” Tony catches his breath.

“Yeah Tony, I do. I’ve been starting to feel it, and I don’t know if you realized it but you said it earlier.”

“Oh, I did?” Steve chuckles and shakes his head.

“You did.”

“Oh, well I do. Just to confirm.” Steve laughs.

“Good to know.” Tony looks down. “I know I just ate but I could literally eat again. And you didn’t eat any pizza so… I’m the mood for… well I’m in the mood for everything so why don’t you pick? I mean that is if you want to grab something to eat?”

“Tony Stark, are you asking me out on a date?”

“Only if you say yes.” Tony smiles nervously. It has been 150 plus years.

“Sure, let’s go get that Chinese you wanted.” Tony smiles.

 

They pull into the restaurant. A one that’s not popoluar where most people who see him won’t say anything. It’s their go to place.

When they sit at the table Tony looks at the menu.

“Steve.” He whispers.  
“Yeah?”

“What do I like?”

“you usually get the chicken lomien and fried dumplings.”

“huh. I don’t even remember. This is gonna be great.”

“We’re ready to order.” HE tells the waitress.

“okay, what can I get for you?”

“Can I get the chicken and broccoli a small side of chicken fried rice and he will have a small chicken Lomien and we’ll share a large order of fried dumplings.

“Coming right up.” She leaves

“Ordering my food? Sexy or misogynistic?”

“Of course you remember those words. You're not even a woman.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Let’s just go with helpful.”

“Nah. I’m going with sexy.” Steve rolls his eyes. Again

“So tony, what else?”

“Okay, I’ve been dying to ask this. And please don’t laugh. I think I should know.”

“Okay, you’re making me nervous.”

“What’s your favorite color? It’s something so basic but I don’t even know. And don’t you dare say red white and blue.” Steve smiles.

“Hmm… I do love my patriotic colors, but I’m more of a sea green kinda guy. You know a blueish green. That’s me. What about you. Hot rod red and yellow?” Tony laughs, but he doesn’t quite get it.

“Nah, I’m a blue person. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I seem to have a lot of blue. So…”

“Hmmm”

“So…”

“So…” Steve wants to ask about his time in the pit, but he doesn’t want to ruin this. Another day. The food comes out saving them from the silence.

“This smells delicious thank you.” Tony tells the waitress. Once she’s gone he pauses.

“Aren’t you going to try it?” Steve asks when tony doesn’t start eating.

“Umm…”

“What’s wrong?” Steve sense something is off.

“it’s nothing it doesn’t matter.”

“No tony, somethings wrong, tell me.”  
“no, it’s fine. See I’m eating.” He takes a bite. He doesn’t know what’s wrong exactly he just feels like it’s wrong. Like he shouldn’t. It’s ridiculous. His uneasiness gets distracted by how good this is.

“Wow. My god.” He bites into a dumpling. He finishes 2 dumplings and half his lomien before he can’t eat any more.

“I can’t do it.”

“Do what?” Steve asks once he swallows.

“I can’t eat any more. I want to believe me, but I might throw up first.”

“Don’t throw up. I’m almost done to, why don’t you go get the check and I’ll meet you up front.” Tony nods but doesn’t move.

“Tony?”

“Yeah, um I’ll just wait.” Steve realizes Tony doesn’t want to go alone so he shrugs not making a big deal out of it. Steve takes a few more bites and grabs all the left overs and brings them.

They head to the cashier and pay. Once they get in the car, tony rest his head against the seat.

“I know you’re going to say no, but I need you to take me there.” He needs more drinks. He says once Steve get’s in the seat.

“Why would I say no? Take you where?”

“No, never mind. I’ll just go another time.” Steve frowns why can’t he know?

“Go where tony?”

“no, you’re gonna be disapproving.”

“What is it?” Steve persists.

“Steve.” Tony nearly shouts. “Stop.” He takes a breath and notices the shock on Steves face. “Please.”

“Yeah, Tony… I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay, lets go get groceries.” Tony lights up at this. “but I think we should talk later.” Tony nods.

When they pull into the store tony smiles.

“We’re going to need a bigger car.”

Groceries shopping was surprisingly fun. Usually it’s a boring task for Steve but with Tony it’s fun. He’s always asking to buy something. Steve doesn’t have the heart to tell him no. So two hours and three carts later they’re on their way home. Tony has to have bags on his lap and on his feet because they bought so much stuff. The pull into the garage and call the avengers to help bring stuff up.

“Did you really buy the whole store?” Clint asks at the amount of stuff they bought.

“I didn’t want to tell Tony no. He seemed so excited.”

“Over chickpeas?” He says looking into a bag.

“He said he likes them.”   
“He doesn’t know what he likes.”

“ _He_ Is standing right here. If you roast them in a pan, it’s like a puff thing. I heard they’re good. Steve said he’d make them.”

“Steve said he’d make a lot of things.” Steve talks in the first person. “Just help bring it up.”

“Don’t you have servants for this?” Clint asks

“Really?” Tony asks giving Clint a disbelieving look “I pay for everything and you can’t bring up some groceries, that I paid for, up an elevator?” Tony raises an eyebrow. “I feel like you guys forget I pay for everything. And not once have I heard a thank you. Well Steve did. But I think you guys are taking everything I do for granted. If you weren’t living here you’d have to do a lot more then help bring in groceries.”

Natasha nudges Clint.

“You’re right Tony, I’m sorry. And thank you.”

“Yeah tony thank you.” Natasha says and the rest of the avengers chime in.

“Hell I wouldn’t own more than 2 pairs of shirts if it wasn’t for you.”

Tony looks at the Avengers “You’re welcome.”  

“Now, I think I need another nap. I ate too much.” They all laugh

“They were giving out free samples. Tony ate them all.”

“Haha, I love those.”

“Me too.” Tony puts his hand over him stomach. They bring the stuff into the kitchen. Tony starts to help unpack, but Steve stops him.

“Tony, this is very organized, do you know where anything goes?”

“The pop tarts go there.” He says pointing to a cabinet.

“Yeah, what else?”

“No idea.”

“Go take a nap. I’ll wake you in an hour.”

“okay.” He gives Steve a hug and walks out.

“I missed you.” he says when he’s just about all the way out not giving not giving Steve a chance to reply.

Tony goes straight for his closet. It’s just a drink… right?

That’s what he tells himself. He brings out the whiskey and takes a few sips. He sighs. Steve’s going to hate him. If her ever finds out. He won’t.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Send one of my employees out to get me liquor. I want 4 bottles of whiskey, 3 bottles of vodka, and 2 bottles of brandy. Make sure they know not to tell anyone. And don’t tell them it’s for me.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He takes another sip

“Have them bring it to my garage.”

“Very well, Sir. And if I may, this may not be the best solut-“

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Of course, Sir.”

He lays down, on the floor again. The bed seems too luxurious. Like he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t fall asleep as easy as before, but he manages.

Steve knocks on the door jolting Tony awake.

“Tony?”

“Hmm? Oh hey Steve.”

“Tony, why are you on the floor. You have a bed right there.” He motions to the king size bed.

“I… um…” Tony shrugs, sitting up.

“Tony, what happened to you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it Steve. I just want to forget it ever happened.”

“Tony-“

“Don’t ask me to talk about it, Steve.” His voice hard.

Steve sighs. “I won’t right now, but… I’m going to again.”

“and I’m not going to tell you. I’m okay now, I don’t want to ruin that.”

“Tony, well talk about it later. I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie. You probably don’t remember them so it’ll be like new.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Want to watch your favorite?”

“What’s my favorite?”

“Well, I know you like ‘robo-cop’. And ‘lethal weapon.’”

“Okay, you pick.”

“Lethal Weapon. Make some of that popcorn?”

“Sure. And your ‘chocolate dream cake’ is on the counter cooling.” Tony smiles so wide Steve laughs.

“I’m going to be fat.”

“but you’ll have fun getting there.”

“Mmm, let’s go.”

Tony goes to the kitchen to get and make the popcorn. Tony goes through 3 cabinets before Steve comes in and opens the right one.

“Ah. Right with the other chips.”

Not 5 minutes later, they’re sitting on the couch, totally not cuddling. Okay, a maybe a little.

“I’m sorry.” Tony whispers half way into the movie. Steve thinks he imagined it but he looks at Tony, and then pauses the movie.

“Why?”

“Well, I left, and I mean, it’s been 150 years for me… And I’m sorry, I forgot a lot about you… us. I wish I didn’t.”

“it’s okay Tony, I understand you were doing what was necessary.”

“Was it?” Tony sits up suddenly feeling cold not being snuggled into Steve. “I mean of course no one is trying to kill us now, but… You don’t understand Steve.”

“So make me understand.” Steve whispers.

“I… I can’t. I want to believe me. I want to tell you everything, but I just can’t Steve.”

“Bull! You can tell me anything. You knew that before you left.”

“Steve, I know I can tell you anything. And it’s not you. It’s not, it’s in general. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to go back to being tony stark, the avenger. Not Tony Stark the to… The kidnapped person.”

“Tony.” Steve sighs. “You’re always going to be Tony stark the Avenger.”

“But what about Thors prophecy?” 

“So you remember that?” Tony glares at Steve “Sorry. It may not even come true. And that could be years from now.”

“Yeah, I just… I don’t want to lose you.”

“Why would you lose me?”

“because… I’m different Steve. I can already tell.”

“Yeah, you may be a little different, but that’s okay.”

“No it’s not Steve.” Steve looks at Tony.

“Where are you heading with this Tony?” Steve asks nervously

“Oh no Steve. I’m not done with you. You’re stuck with me. I just want to go back 150 years and make a different decision.”

“Tony, I think you made the right decision. I think things would have only gotten worse if you stayed.”

“Things did get worse, Steve! For _me_ you waited here 2 weeks while I was in hell for 150 years. Steve, I wanted to _die_. I didn’t think I could make it. I didn’t want to make it.” Tony rubs his eyes.

“Tony.” Steve says and the one word makes him break. He starts crying, and for once in Steves life he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t have to because Tony leans on his shoulder and Steve just rubs his back saying soothing nothings like “It’s okay.” “It’ll all work out.” “I’m here for you.” After a few minutes Tony stops crying and Steve realizes he’s fallen asleep. Steve works his way off the couch with Tony in his arms. He brings Tony to his bed. He puts him on the left side, and starts to walk away.

“Stay.” He hears Tony whisper.

“I don’t know if that’s-“

“Please.” Steve sighs and gets into bed. Tony rolls over and leans into Steve.

To Steve this is so foreign, he’s never really shared a bed. And never with a guy. Who’s cuddling him. But Steve just wraps a protective arm around him, and soon starts to drift off.

 

~

“I lov-“ Just as Tony’s about to tell Steve the glass shatters and someone enters. But no just any someone. It’s Red. Tony backs up and shakes his head.

“Oh, I found you.”

“No No you can’t be here.”

“Oh can’t I? You’re not the only one who’s ever left the pit.”

“the pit…? Tony?” He looks at him.

“Steve, kill him. Kill him, Steve!” When he makes no move Tony shouts. “Please.”

“This is him? Wow, he never did save you did he?”

“Steve.” His eyes are pleading.

“Well, I may have only gotten 40 years with you in there, but I couldn’t kill you in the pit. I can kill you now!”

“Steve!” He shouts as red starts moving. Steve is frozen to the stop. He’s still trying to put two ad two together. “Please Steve.” He shouts as Red gets closer. Just as Red is just about at Tony he snaps back to reality. But Red’s hand is around Tony’s throat. Oh god.

“TONY!”

~

 

He wakes up gasping. He pulls out of Steve’s embrace and falls on the floor, and backs up to the window.

Steve gets up and basically runs to Tony.

“It’s okay Tony, just a bad dream.” Tony shakes his head vigorously.

“It’s was a vision. And you didn’t save me. You just stood there. Until it was too late.”

“No, Tony. I’d save you. I’ll always save you.”

“Yeah.” Tony lies. “it cut off so…”

Steve smiles. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go to my lab. Alone.” Steves face falls

“Okay Tony.” He gives him a hand.

“I’ll get you for dinner?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Steve frowns as Tony walks out of the room.

Tony first heads to the garage. To get the alcohol. Then he goes to his lab. He cracks open a bottle of vodka. He chugs a good quarter of the bottle before he even sits down.

“Sir, if I may-“

“You may not!”

“but-“

“that’s it.” Tony gets up and turns Jarvis off.

He takes another long sip. He hides the other bottles. He sits down and drinks more. Half the bottle is gone and tony Is spinning. But he doesn’t care. He takes another swig. He goes over to his work bench to see what he was working on when he left. Ah exploding arrows and Arrows to inject people. He saw that on a tv show. He takes another sip. He grabs the arrow. Without thinking he jabs it into his leg. His hands have healed, but… he groans. He pours a little vodka on it.

“Shit.” He’s gonna need stitches. He can do them himself. He goes to the goes to the first aid kit. It’s not the first time he’s cut himself working. He opens it and is about to pull the arrow out when he hears someone enter.  
“Go away.”

“Tony?” It’s Bruce.  
“Go away Bruce. I want to be alone.” But he can hear bruce getting closer. “Bruce.”

“Steve is worried about you. And we can’t reach- Is that blood?”

“No.”

“Tony, what happened?” Bruce turns Tony around and takes in his appearance. Drunk, with an arrow in his leg and medical supplies in the opposite hand a nearly empty vodka bottle.

“Oh Tony.” He’s says sadly

“Don’t tell Steve.” He says “Please.”

“here, let’s stitch you up.” He brings Tony over to the cot. “this is going to hurt.”

“Just do it.” Bruce pulls the Arrow out of Tony getting barely a grunt. He’s used to worse.

“Alright. I don’t have anything to numb it.”

“It’s fine Bruce, I’ve been through worse.” He goes to take another sip, but Bruce takes it before he can.

“h-“

“I need it to disinfect your wound.” Bruce is half lying. He pours a slight amount on his wound and tony curses. Bruce finishes stitching him up Tony pulls his pants back up.

“Give me the bottle Bruce.” He says when Bruce gets up.

“I think you’ve had more then enough.”

“I know when I’ve had enough. Give it to me.”

“Really? Stabbing yourself in the leg isn’t an indicator that you should stop?”

“That was an accident.” Tony whispers.

“Mhmm, just like your hands?”

“How?”

“Steve, may be a superhuman, but he was so excited to see you, he didn’t _see_ you. Tony, I’m not going to pretend to know what happened to you, but I’m not keeping this a secret. Not after last time. And this is worse.”

“No, you can’t!”

“You’re clearly in pain, and even if Steve can’t see it, everyone else can. Come on, stand up.” He gives Tony a hand.

“thanks. For sewing me up. Not for being a jerk.”

“Call me what you want but I’m doing what’s best for you. and turn Jarvis back on.” And he helps Tony over to the panel and Jarvis is back online. They head to the stairs. Tony is still drunk and if besides the arrow, he’s not sure he could make it up the stairs. Bruce basically carries him. He brings him to the couch.

“Lay down, I’m getting the team.”

“I hate you.” Bruce ruefully smiles

“No you don’t.” Bruce heads out of hearing range for Tony.

“Jarvis, can you tell the Avengers come to the common right now. Tell them it’s Tony.”

“Yes, Dr. Banner.”

Steve is doing laundry. He heads up quickly.

Natasha is reading. She heads up quickly

Thor is wandering around his still new floor. He heads up quickly.

Clint is sharping his arrow. He heads up quickly.

They all get to Common room at the same time. The rush in asking what’s wrong.

“Shhhhhh. You’re giving me a headache.” Tony Sighs rubbing his temple.

“Tony?” Steve asks

“For those who can’t tell, tony is currently drunk.”

“No. I’m serfectally sober.” It comes out jumbled.

“Oh Tony.” Natahsa says stiting down.

“And I don’t know if anyone noticed his hands…?” They all shake there head and nastasha tries to look at them but Tony pulls away.

“It’s fine.”

“At some point Tony scratched his hands leaving scars.”

“Stop talking. I’m fine.”

“And.” Bruce continues as if he didn’t speak “he stabbed himself with an arrow earlier.”

“Oh my god.” Steve voices the group.

“It was an accident.”

“No tony it wasn’t. Let us help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Tony, please. We need to know.”

“You need to know nothing. I’m gonna die anyway!”

“What?”

“I had another vision. I was attacked. And no one helped.” He gives Steve a look. “I die.”

“Attacked? By who.”

“it doesn’t matter.”

“Stop Saying that!! We care tony we just got you back, and we want you to be safe.”

“I am. Going. To. die. Anyway. What’s the difference if you know his name or not?”

“Wait,” bruce says catching what tony missed. “You know his name? You know who kills you?”

“Ugh!” Tony throws up his hands in frustration. “I’m too sober for this.”

“I think you’re too drunk.”

“I don’t care anymore. What’s the point? I lived much longer then I should have. Maybe it’s time to just say enough is enough.”

“Oh my god. You’ve given up. You truly don’t care what happens to you do you?” Clint asks

“Eh, after 150 years, you realize a few things. 1. The pain never stops. 2. You’re better off dead.”

“That’s it Tony you need professional help. I’m calling one of Shields physiatrists.”

“You do that, I’m going to kill myself before they get here. I swear to god, I’ll take out and break my arc reactor. And none of you can fix it.”

“Tony, what can we do? Please, just tell us.” Steve asks. Tony groans.

“Wait till I get sober, then we can talk, okay?”

“Yeah, Tony okay.” Natasha says

“And maybe bring me some coffee?”

“Sure. Guys?”

They all head into the kitchen and Steve starts making a pot of coffee.

“What are we going to do?” Steve asks.  
“Man of Iron is broken. He needs out help.”

“yeah, Thor do you have any idea what goes on it the pit? That’s what he called it.” Thors face looks grim.

“That’s where the worst people in all the realms go. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy let alone my friend. He did not deserve to go there.”

“Oh my, can you be specific? Like _what_ happens?”

“Torture.” The avengers looked sad, but it was not entirely unsuspected.

“How can we help him?”

“I’ve never seen a man come back, let alone whole. Anthony is strong. He’ll get through this. I’m sure of it.” Thor smiles to reassure

“I’m not so sure.” Natasha says “He got drunk off his ass and stabbed himself with an arrow. He needs real help.”

“You heard him, we can’t.” Clint says

“You guys didn’t see him… when we were out. He was happy. He says all he wants to do is move on and not talk about it. We were talking about stuff before he went to his lab maybe we just don’t push him until he’s ready. He needs time. Maybe that’s what we give him.” Steve suggests

“I think that’s a bad idea. He _needs_ to talk about it before things get worse.” Natasha says

“You’re quiet, what do you think?” Steve asks Bruce.

“I think… well I see both sides to it. Logically speaking talking about it is healthier for the mind. But personally speaking I think we should give him time. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about when there has been a little breathing times. To come to terms with what has happened. We can’t force him to talk. Make him a deal. He can’t drink and we won’t push him. If it gets to serious then we’ll call in without him knowing. And I think we should take pointy objects away from him for the time being.”

“I think that’s reasonable. How long do we give him?” Steve asks.

“A month? Then we re-evaluate.” Natasha suggests

“Okay.” Steve says He goes to the calendar and circles this date next month.

“Can I get my coffee!?” Tony shouts from the other room. “or are you not done talking about me?”

“We’re coming Tony.” Steve garbs a mug and pours the hot coffee in it. He adds sugar and milk like tony likes.

They walk back into the living room

“Gimmie gimmie gimmie.” He says reaching for the coffee. He takes a sip and sighs in delight. “Just the way I like it. Thanks Steve.” He nods.

“So tony.” Natasha starts

“So you came up with a way to get me to talk?” Tony rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his coffee.

“No. We’re not going to force you to talk, we’re not going to even ask you.” Tony swallows his coffee and raises an eyebrow

“What’s the catch?”

“No more drinking. Or hurting yourself. That’s the catch. simple. We’ll stop asking. we’ll never bring it up. Unless you want to talk, it’s never coming up. What do you say?”

Tony sighs “What about-“

“No tony. Give it up completely.” Tony sighs again.

“Fine. Deal.” He nods “Can I talk to Cap for a second?”

“Sure, Come one guys.” Natasha leads the rest of the team out.

“what’s up Tony?” Steve asks moving closer.

“Does this,” he waves his hands around Indicating the drinking and arrow thing “Change anything? About us? Cause I still wanna do this. Do you?”  
“Of course Tony. I said I like you. And I’m not giving up on you or us.” Tony smiles.

“You might be the only thing keeping me sane.” Steve smiles “Can we have some cake now?”

Steve laughs “Yes Tony we can have some cake now. Come on.”

“I’m gonna eat the whole thing.” Tony says laughing to the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t blame you it is my ‘chocolate _dream_ cake’.” Steve laughs

“It’s an appropriate description and I stand by it.” Tony says taking a very large slice.

Tony moans after he takes a bite. “Yup definitely chocolate _dream_ cake.”

Steve laughs, but tries not to blush at the thought he had when tony uh moaned. He shakes his head.

“I’m glad you like it. It’s a miracle I remembered the recipe. It was my moms.”

“My mom barely cooked and when she did it was soup, or it was burned, or raw. Sometimes both.” He laughs. “We need a vacation. Steve, we’re going on a vacation!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know my ages are proabbly wrong, but bare with me, or if you know what it is tell me and I'll fix it! Thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know i said monday but we all know how life happens, but here it is and it's even a little longer then I expected hope you enjoy.

Previously:

”What’s the genius idea?”

“Are you ready? We’re going to Malibu!” he shouts.

"A Vacation?"

"Yeah!”

~

They don’t actually leave until 7:30, and it takes them a little under 2 and a half hours. But by 10 am they’re landing.

“Okay, so let’s go get breakfast then we’ll unpack our stuff?”

They all nod. The length of the trip hadn’t be determined. They all figure1-2 weeks or until they were needed. Of course Tony has cars there, but none of them can fit all 6 of them. So Tony and Steve took Tony’s two door sports car, and the rest took Tony’s family car. Tony, for obvious reasons, did not want to go in that car. In all honesty Tony hadn’t thought about all his families stuff until the car. It’s too late now. He should be okay, or so he hopes.

 

They have coffee and breakfast pastries. Yes what is better than expensive coffee and fresh warm pastries? Steve was shocked at how much his fresh squeezed orange juice was. (Steve doesn’t like coffee, apparently)  
“Tony? You’re gonna pay $50 for us to have coffee and pastries?”

“Yeah, why not, they’re the best around.”

“That’s ridiculous. Back when in the 40’s we wouldn’t have payed a fraction of that!”

“Well, Steve you’re not in the 40’s and you live with a billionaire. So, shut up, and take the pastry.” After a little more haggling Steve sighs and picks a chocolate filled croissant and his OJ.

“Thanks Tony.” He says biting in.

“Oh Steve, we’re gonna spend way more at Dinner. We’re going to this Italian family… style.” He says sadly. It was his parent’s favorite spot.

“Tony-“

“It’s yummy best Pasta around. Very fancy. Gotta try the alfredo.”

“Tony-“

“Best garlic bread. It’s like heaven.” Steve stops trying after that.

They finish up their breakfast and head to their cars.

The drive back is quiet for Steve and Tony. Steve wants to tell Tony, that it’ll be okay. That when they get there, he’s there for him. Tony just looks out the window. After he got back he started to remember everything again. It’s basically all come back… but a few things. He rubs the scar on his hand.

IMCAT

SC – saw Coulson.

“I’m cat.” He whispers shaking his head.  
“What Tony?”

“Nothing.” He says looking out the window. This was supposed to be a fun vacation. With the Avenegers, team bonding. But he can’t stop thinking abuot the house. His family. His father. His mother.

What’s gonna be there? How was the house left? He doesn’t remember. Is there going to be things he doesn’t want people to see. More specific Steve and the team. I’m sure there alcohol out. Probably glasses around. I don’t thin anyone cleaned before we left. They died a week after we left here, and no one came to clean. Is there gonna be other things. He doesn’t realize they’ve pulled into the house until he feels them stop. Guess he forgot to give Steve directions. I guess he remembered. Tony opens the car door. He walks up to the house slowly. He grabs the key from his pocket and takes a deep breath. Only Steve notices these small things.

He opens the door with a loud creak. He coughs at the dust in the air.

“Wow, Ton how long has it been since you’ve been here?” clint asks

“22 years and 5 months.” Tony whispers. Clint says a soft ‘oh’ he walks inside and flicks the switch.

“The power hasn’t been on in 22 years. They probably just shut it off. I’ll call them, we have a generator that will work for about a day. Steve, could you… do you know how a generator works? Nah, Bruce would you go? It’s behind the shed, around back.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” Bruce makes his way around the house.  
“Tony, are you alright?”

“Fine, why?”

“I don’t know, you seem distraught.”

“A house full of old memories I never wanted to see again? Nah it’s probably because I’m tired.” He didn’t sleep at all last night. He didn’t want nightmares. He went to his work shop and worked on remembering everything he knew. Which he does.

“Tony, we can-“

“I said I’m fine.” He snaps at Steve

“Okay, but if you want to leave, just say the word and we’ll go. No questions asked.”

“Steve.” He starts but he takes a deep breath. “Okay.” He says instead. The light switches on meaning the power is back on. He heads inside fanning the air with his hand, trying to get rid of the dust. He turns on the lights as he walks in the team following suit. He stops at the picture on the table.

It’s his family. When he was 5. He puts the picture back photo facing down. He heads up the stairs.

“Uh make yourself at home. No snooping. I’ll be right back.” He runs up the stairs and heads into his dad’s old room first. He searches for any signs of what went on here, to check the rooms to see where they can stay.

There’s alcohol on the counter. The bed is unmade. Some of his summer clothes are still here. He runs his eyes. Nothing that anyone would know. He heads to his mothers room. He doesn’t tell people, but his parents didn’t sleep in the same room. He see’s her old jewelry some of her sleepwear. Alcohol and a few bottle of pills. He takes the bottles and stuffs it in the jewelry box. He removes the Jewelry and puts it on the counter first. And then he takes the box.

Then he heads to his old room God help him he still has Captain America sheets. He sticks the box under his bed and he stands up when theres a knock on the door. He quickly turns around.

“Steve?” He see’s Steve in the door way exaiming Tony. Steve saw Tony hide something under the bed, but he doesn’t say anything, he slowly looks around the room, and Tony rushes to him.

“Alright, lets’ go you’re not allowed in here.” He tries to push Steve, but for obvious reasons he can’t

“this-“

“Is not being talked about, lets’ go.” He tries to push Steve but he doesn’t budge.

“Tony, was this your room?”

Tony scoffs “No.”

“Yes it was.”

“No it wasn’t. Come on.”

“Yes, it was Tony!” Steve eyes the posters of Captain America, the sheets Captain America. Captain America collectibles on the desk and dresser.

“Steve, stop it.” He says serious, he stopped trying to push Steve but he’s tempted to kick him.

“You had all the Captain America stuff growing up? These are worth thousands by now.” He says reaching for the collectable action figure. Tony slaps his hand.

“Stop it!” Steve snaps out of whatever trance he was in.

“Tony? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just get out.” Tony says staring the man down, which is hard considering he’s shorted then him.

“Tony?” He says backing up.

“I told you to stay downstairs.”

“Yeah well I was concerned where you went.” He says as Tony shuts the door.

“Yeah, well you should be more concerned about yourself now. Let’s go.” He starts walking down the stairs.

“Why didn’t you want me to see your Captain America bedroom?” Tony stops walking and turns around

“Oh yeah because I wanted my boyfriend to know he was my childhood hero!” he glares

“Childhood hero? I thought you hated me at first.”

“Oh my god, you really want to do this Steve? Right now?”

“Yeah, I do.” Steve says crossing his arms

“Well too bad.” Tony turns around and starts walking again.

Steve grabs Tonys arm and turns him around.

“Let. Me. Go.” Tony says through gritted teeth.

“Just tell me!”

“No until you let me go.” Steve release him

“It was complicated. And I don’t want to talk about it.” Tony holds his ground and doesn’t turn around.

“Well, I think I should know, considering it’s about me.”

Tony nods sarcastically “yeah, I totally agree, I should tell you all about my childhood because you were a fairytale in it.” Steve sighs

“What does that mean?”

“it means that  I don’t want to talk about it. And you better not stop me from walking away.” He glares but his face softens after a moment. “I will tell you Steve, I will, but I don’t want to do it in a hallway while I’m upset.” Steve sighs and nods

“Yeah, I’m sorry you’re right.” Tony takes a deep breath.

“I have to go make sure they’re not looking at things.” Tony turns and starts walking

“What things?” Steve whispers to himself. As tony is half way gone.

 

 

 

Tony runs down the stairs to find the avengers looking at a book

“What book is that?” Tony demands.

“It’s a photo album.”  
“well give it to me.” he says walking towards them.

“Relax, you were a cute kid.” Clint says

“Give me the photo album. I’m not kidding.” He walks to them and puts his hand out.

“No, I want to see more.”

“Give me the goddamn album! I told you not to snoop.” He demands.

“Relax, we just got bored.”

“I don’t want you guys looking at that. Give it to me now or we’re leaving!” Clint and the team-minus steve- look up.

“Alright alright. Fine just take it.” Clint hands it over. He flips through the pages they had seen nothing. Just one of the albums Jarvis made. There are a few photo albums like that. The others, are not.

“Everyone into the kitchen. I have to go through a few things.” Steve finally makes his way down.

“Fine, fine.” They all head away “but we don’t care about baby pictures or family photos or the mess.” Bruce says.  
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Tony whispers but only Steve heard from his super soldier hearing. once they’re gone, tony scours the draws and the bookshelf for any evidence he finds little things a piece of wire, a piece of paper with a little dried blood on it. And then he finds the major stuff, photos, hospital bills and such. He grabs them all and quickly brings them upstairs and sticks them under his bed. He runs back down and heads to the kitchen.

“Alright, we’re all clear.”

“Clear of what?” Bruce asks.

“Not a thing, we can relax now.” Tony takes a deep breath, and then it all sinks in. the kitchen just how they left it 22 years and 5 months ago. The photos hanging on the wall. The pills left out thinking she was coming back and would use them. Everything left like they would come back. But they never did. He never did. He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. He shakes his head. He loved his mom for all her faults his dad… he turns out of the room and walks towards the door.

“Tony?” Steve asks following.

“I’m fine, just need to get some fresh air the dust is killing me.” he walks faster as Steve starts to catch up.

“Tony.” Steve puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Its just as they left it!” He says keeping his back towards Steve. “Everything is just as they left it like they were gonna come back! But they didn’t. They didn’t and it’s all still here, but _they’re_ not.”

“Oh Tony.”

“I need to get some air.” He starts walking again.

He’d never thought he’d feel like this. Maybe about his mom, but not his dad. Tony steps outside.

“Tony, we can go if you want. We don’t need to stay. Not if it’s too hard.” Tony stands by the car.

“I appreciate that, Steve, I really do, but I’m okay. I just need a minute alone.”

“Okay tony, I’ll be inside.”

“Don’t let them snoop! Keep them in the living area or kitchen.”

“Okay, Tony.” Steve wonders what they could find that he doesn’t want them knowing.

Tony takes a deep breath. He wish JARVIS were here. Tony has to upload him. Tony takes a deep breath. He puts his hand on his knees and takes a few deep breaths.

“They’re dead, they can’t hurt me. They’re dead. They can’t hurt me.” He whispers so softly not even Steve could hear. “It’s all okay, it’s all okay.” After a minute Tony stands up and makes a few calls. He walks back inside.

“Alright, power will be on in the next hour or so and I’ve hired a company to come dust and vaccum.” He thought about the cleaners, better if strangers found something then the avengers, plus they don’t have to do any work. “I say, we head out and go to the beach. Catch some waves, tan, do whatever, when we get back, it’ll all be cleaned fresh and made and stocked, who’s with me?” Tony says walking in the kitchen. They all nod. “You guys brought bathing suits yes?” They nod. “Well, then let’s go. It’s about a 20 minute walk or a 2 minute drive?”

“We should drive in case of an emergency so we can get back to the quinjet quickly.” Natasha says thinking smartly.

“Alright, everyone go change! Bathrooms are on the left side of the hallway and the right side over there.” The all walk away but Tony. When Steve notices he’s not moving he raises an eyebrow in question.

“What?”

“Aren’t you gonna change?”

“Oh no.” Tony says dismissively “I just want to see you shirtless.” He says with a grin.

“oh my god. I’ll be back.” Tony doesn’t take his shirt off. People can’t see the arc reactor. He doesn’t like that people would see him as weak. The only thing keeping him alive a piece of metal in his chest. Plus he can’t swim, if the arc reactor gets wet, like a shower, that’s fine but if it’s submerged, it could one short circuit causing a heart attack and/or two  could permanently be damaged and well, he didn’t bring a spare so. Swimming is out of the question.

Bruce is the first one back.

“I’d never thought I’d see the day when Brucie is in shorts and flipflops.”

“Ha ha, aren’t you changing?”

“Nah, I don’t do the whole swimming thing.”

“It’s gonna be hot.” Bruce points out.

“I was made for the hot.” He smiles. “I’ll be fine.” He looks down, he’s in light pants and a light shirt with a tank top underneath so It doesn’t show. He’ll be fine. Slowly the avengers make their way back and once Steve come back shirtless Tony gives him a lopsided grin making Steve shake his head.

“I’d never think I’d see Thor in a bathing suit.” Tony whispers to Steve. “Altough it is full body.” Thor laughs.

“Man of Iron. You are funny. This bathing suit is from Asgard. It is very well fitted.”

“I can see that.” Tony shakes his head.

“Did anyone bring towels?” Steve asks

“Yup.” Bruce says the only one prepared. “And I brought enough for all of us.” They nod and head out.

“There’s a few shops about quarter mile away from where we’ll be so we can get drinks and ice cream.”

“Awesome.” They head to the cars. The trip is quick and silent and they pull up and the beach has not a soul around. It’s perfect. Which is why tony liked to go there. They pile out of the cars.

“Guys, I just need you to know I _can’t_ go swimming.” He emphasizes can’t.

The roll there eyes. “yeah okay baby.”

“I’m serious.” The nod.

“Okay.” But none still realize the seriousness. He shakes his head. Natasha and tony put a blanket down and sit on it, Steve Bruce Thor and Clint head for the water.

“So Tony.” Natasha says once they’re out of hearing range. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tony says lying down

“You don’t want us to find something. I’m not stupid. No snooping, pulling us away… what could we find that you don’t want us to know about.”

“I think, I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?”

“Tony-“

“I’ll take that as a no.” It’s only a 4 minute walk there so he grabs a strawberry daiquiri. He gets it virgin like he promised. He gets back within 10 minutes.

“is that-“

“Virgin? Yes Natasha. Do you need to taste it to believe me?”

“No I trust you.” he takes a sip. The rest of the team is wadding in the water, talking and laughing.

“You should join them.” Natasha says reading tony

“So should you.”

“Nah, I just want to sun bath. You look like you feel like you’re missing out.”

“Nope, just sitting here enjoying my daiquiri.”

“Alright.” Natsasha lays back. Tony sighs. After his daiquiri is gone Tony feels himself getting warmer. It is 90 degrees out. He wipes the sweat off his brow and sighs.

“If youre so hot go cool of in the water.”

“I told you I can’t go swimming.” Natasha rolls her eyes

“Then stop complaining.”

“I’m not complaining I never said a word!”

“You’re sighing like every .3 seconds.”

“Well, you know what!” Steve runs up cutting him off.

“Hey, so come swimming with us. It’s obvious you’re hot. And the waters warm.”  
“I told you I can’t go swimming.”

“So you can’t swim you can just sit there.”

“I can swim. I can’t go swimming.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Come on.”  
“Steve, I _can’t_.” He says enforcing it.

“Oh stop saying that, of course you can.”

“Throw him in!” Clint yells

“Don’t I _can’t._ Steve listen to me I can’t.” Steve rolls his eyes.

“Were throwing you in.” Clint throws a fist in the air in the background. Steve takes a step forward.

“Steve, you don’t understand.” His heart beat picking up.

“Sure I do, you don’t want to get wet, well too bad.” Tony stands up and takes a step back.

“Steve, that’s not it. I could _die_.” His heart is beating faster.

“Water can’t kill you… well it can, but it won’t.” Tony shakes his head.

“Steve, listen to me. I’m trying to- Put me down!” Steve jumps and reaches tony to pick him up. The Avengers cheer.

“Steve listen to me. I’m begging you.” Steve starts walking and tonys heart beat is too fast dangerously fast. “Steve, my arc reatorahhh.” Steve throws him in, but realizes what tony had said a moment to late.

The avengers laugh but Steve reaches for Tony. He lifts him out.

“His arc reactor! He said something about his arc reactor!” Tony blinks dazed. “Tony, Tony are you alright?” The avengers rush over to him.

“What do we do? Natasha, what do we do?!” Steve asks

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Take it out.” Tony wheezes

“What no that’ll kill you.”  
“Take the god damn reactor out. It’s electrocuting me being in.” Steve looks conflicted so Tony reaches for it.

“Okay okay, but won’t you have a heart attack with it out.”

“Well, I’ll go into cardiac arrest, but it could be worse if it’s in. It needs to dry, hopefully there is no lasting damage.” Tony says voice ragged. Once steve takes it out he asks

“Now what?”

“Put it in the sun, and…” Tony closes his eyes.

“Tony!?”

“Yeah, I just can’t have it out more than 15 minutes, or I will die.”

“I’m sorry Tony, I didn’t listen.”

 Tony is breathing heavy the sweat forming on his brow. This is the longest 15 minutes of Steves life. And that’s saying something. After 9 minutes tony closes his eye.

“Is it dry?! We need to put it back in tony!”

“Yeah!” Natasha hands it to Steve. Steve carefully lifts Tony’s shirt. He pauses for a second, realizing how vulnerable tony can be. Tony definitely picking up on that.

“Do it Steve.” Steve connects it and Tony gasps.

“Tony? Tony?”

“I’m okay. It’s okay, it didn’t have any permanent damage.”

“Oh my Tony, why didn’t you tell us that in the first place?”

“Maybe if you had listened to me, when I said I can’t go swimming or I’ll die, none of this would have happened.”

Steve looks like we wants to protest but shakes his head. “You’re right.”

“I think we should head back.” Natasha says. “It’s been like 3 hours. They should be done, Tony?”

“They said they need 2-3 so yes. They should be. Some of the wiring is damaged but I should have some in the garage. That can be replaced. I think it’d be best if we head back.” They nod and head to these cars. Tony doesn’t talk to Steve. He didn’t want them all to see him so… naked. Not so much the physical side of naked, but where he feels like they saw him vulnerable. And he doesn’t like it.

“Tony-“

“It’s fine, you didn’t mean it. It was an accident. It’s okay Steve, really.”

“But-“ Steve tries again

“It’s fine. I promise.”

“No, just-“

“Steve, re-“

“Would you listen to me?!” Steve shouts making Tony flinch. “You never want to talk about anything! It’s always later, but later never happens or you just ride it off as its okay, when it’s not! I just want to talk to you, damn it! But you never let me.” Steve sighs angrily

Tony doesn’t respond. Steve glances over and see’s Tony with his eyes closed taking deep breaths

“Tony?” Steve says softly.

“Did you ever think.” Tony says quietly “That maybe I don’t want to talk about it, because it hurts too much. Or maybe I don’t want someone knowing everything about me? Did you ever stop and think why I wouldn’t want to talk, rather than I’m just not talking to you about everything you want.” Tony voice gets louder. “How would you feel if I brought up Bucky every day? Someone you cared for who you thought died, turned into a murderer. How would you feel if I kept pestering you and bugging you to talk about that? No, you just want to know everything about me Steve and I might not want to tell it all.” Tony says with a glare. Steve, chooses to be very nice and ignore the Bucky jab, because he knew Tony didn’t say that to hurt him, but to prove a point.

“I just want you to talk to me. It doesn’t have to be everything. Just one thing. Something important but that doesn’t necessarily hurt. I just want to know you better. What were you like as a child? I know you told me somestuff, but then I saw your bed room. Or what you hid under your bed.” Steve says giving away some information.

“You saw that?” Tony says softly.

“Yeah, I just want to know what you’re trying so hard to hide from us. What you could possibly not want us to see. I thought we were friends. More than that really.” Tony realizes they’re parked in the driveway the others already inside.

“You wouldn’t want to know.”

“Yeah tony. I do. I don’t care that it’s Howard. Yeah he was my friend, but you’re more than that.”

“I just, don’t want to…. I don’t know. Hurt you, hurt myself. I just can’t.”

“Please Tony. Just tell me about your bedroom. Why I was your childhood hero.” Steve says

“Okay.” Tony says Steve doesn’t say anything letting Tony speak. “I thought you could come back and save me.”

“Save you from what?” Steve asks

“My parents.” Tony opens the car door and starts to walk away. It takes Steve a second to realize Tony left.

“Tony?” He says getting out. “What does that mean?”

Tony opens the door to the house and smells the fresh scent and notices the clean air. He sees the avengers on the deck, lounging by the pool. He starts to walk to the Garage.

“Tony, wait!” Steve says walking in.

“I have to fix my arc reactor.” He says walking down the stairs. As expected Steve follows.

“Wait Tony.” He says once he gets to the garage.

“Steve, please, understand that Howard was not a nice man. He may have been to you, and his company but not to his family. Okay, that’s all I’m gonna say.” Tony looks around for wires.

“What?” Steve breaths out. Tony finds the right ones and reaches for his arc reactor.

“I’d rather you not be here for this.” Tony says in Steves silence. It takes Steve to say something.  
“Wait, did he hit you?” Steve asks. Tony sighs.  
“Steve, stop asking me questions.”

“He did. Didn’t he? That’s why you never want to talk about him. Because he would hurt you.”

“Steve-“

“No, tony tell me I’m wrong. Tell me he didn’t do that.”

“I…” Tony sighs “I can’t do that alright!”

“Why?”

“Because… because I’d be lying.”

“Oh my god.”

“Steve. Stop that.” Tony says

“What?”

“Looking at me like I’m going to break.”

“But… he abused you. And no one knew about it!”

“Of course people knew about it. The whole house knew about it, the fucking hospital knew. But they were payed to keep silent.”

“The hospital…? You had to go to the hospital?” Tony sighs.

“Yeah, Steve. I did. And I really am done with this conversation.”  
“What about Maria?”

“She was too busy with her dumb booze and pills. She was high as a kite the night they died Steve. Is that what you want to know?! That she was a drunk and an addict, just like him? Just like me? I guess it runs in the family.”

“What?” Steve breaths out.

“What part are you confused about? The part where my parents died because she was high, or the part where I told you my family’s a bunch of addicts? I didn’t think that was so confusing.” Tony turns around. “I’d really like to be alone right now.” Steve doesn’t say anything so Tony assumed he left, he starts to get the wires together when he feels a hand on his shoulder turning him around. And now he buried in Steve’s chest getting a hug. He doesn’t know what to do with his arms to he kinda just pats Steve back awkwardly. After a moment Steve pulls him back.

“You’re not an addict.” Steve says

“Tell that to the part of me that’s itching for a drink.”  
“You’re not an addict. You’re a survivor.”

“Oh my god, don’t you dare do this. Don’t you categorize me like I’m some, some random person! I didn’t want to tell you so that’s how you could see me! I’m fine. I’m good even. I’m at fine place in my life where I don’t need to talk about it. I’m okay. It’s been years. I’m fine.”

“I know you are. I just wanted to make sure. Thank you, for telling me.”  
“You made me tell you. So this-is on you. I really need to fix my arc reactor, and I really would rather you not here.”

“But what if something goes wrong. I’ll upload JARVIS first, okay? Then if something goes wrong, he’ll call for help.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re okay. Tony, I want to know more about you. Maybe I could tell you a little about my childhood later.”

“Yeah, sure. Later.” Tony says dismissively not realizing he’s hurt Steve.

“Alright.” Steve leaves. As promised he uploads JARVIS and gets to work. He takes out the arc reactor while JARVIS is booting up.

“Alright, let’s see what kind of damage is done.” He realizes more wires are fried then he thought and he starts fixing them.

“Sir, I am currently online.”

“Great, J. What are the avengers up to?”

“They are currently around the kitchen making something for lunch.”

“Okay.” After some haggling and working he manages to fix it. “Okay, now I just have to put it back in.” He takes a deep breath and sticks It back in with no problems. He changes back into some regular clothes.

“Alright, let’s go get something to eat.” He makes his way to the Kitchen and he leans on the counter.

“Everything is all good, what are you making?”

“Good, we’re making some Lasagna for later, and currently we are going to have some sandwiches. And Tony, we’re sorry for not listening to you and throwing you in.” Bruce apologizes for the group.

“it’s fine, just don’t do it again. There shouldn’t be any side-affects. Well, I could have a heart attack.” Tony thinks out loud

“What?!” The group demands

“Oh, it’s uh highly unlikely. Just don’t scare me or get too loud. It’s fine, just a little water got in and a bunch of sciency stuff no one would understand. But you know. It’s probably fine. Like a 12 percent chance?”

“12 percent?! What!?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, really.”

“That’s not highly unlikely! Tony!” Steve yells.  
“I said don’t shout.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Look, guys, I’m-“ Tony stops and frowns. He thinks he feels something the Avengers wait for him to continue “Nah, I’m fine.”

“You always say your fine. Even when you’re not. Are you lying?”

“No. it’s really alright. I’ll have JARVIS monitor me. Right J?”

“Yes, sir I will monitor your vitals.”

“I hooked JARVIS up by the way.”

“Awesome.

“Aright well, sorry to say folks but I don’t want to spend my entire vacation with the people I spend all my time with already. So, I’m going to the garage. I packed some equipment and blue prints yada yada yada. I’ll see you for Italian.” Tony salutes turning around. “Oh, and Bruce, you’re more than welcome to join me. I thought of something I think you’ll totally love.” Tony gives Bruce a mysterious grin and keeps walking. Bruce chuckles.

“I think that’s my cue he wants me down there. I’ll see you guys later.” Bruce follows Tony

“You know I think sometimes theres more between them than friends.” Clint says.

“Well, I can assure you, there’s not.” Steve says shaking his head.

“What does that mean?” Natasha asks Steve shakes his head.

“Nothing, me and Tony talk. He’s not into Bruce.”

“I noticed how you said Bruce and not men.” Natasha says.

“Why is that so surprising? Tony told us he’s gay.” Steve shoots back. Natasha raises her hands.

“Nothing, just observation. And how are you with that? Tony being gay? Gay was certainly not okay in the 40’s.”

“It’s not the 40’s anymore. And I never liked it, but I had nothing against it.”  
“And now? How do you feel about it now?” Natasha presses.

“Don’t integrate me, Natasha I’m not one of your cases I’m your friend.” Steve warns, only slightly threatening.

“Okay, but you I just want you to know.” Natasha walks to Steve. “I think you guys are cute.” She whispers that so only he can hear. She walks out of the room Steve blushing.

“Damn, what’d she say to you? You’re red as a tomato man.” Clint laugh

“Nothing.” Steve clears his throat. “It’s nothing.” He looks at the ground and shakes his head. It’s so much more then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is short, it's just a mini update. Something I thought was better separated from what I have coming. i will have an update still Wednesday or Thursday as promised. Just really liked this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Previously

“Damn, what’d she say to you? You’re red as a tomato man.” Clint laugh

“Nothing.” Steve clears his throat. “It’s nothing.” He looks at the ground and shakes his head. It’s so much more than nothing.

 ~

 

 

Tony and Bruce spend the day in the lab. Natasha spends it lounging by the water. She’ll never admit it, but this is her first real vacation. Steve in Tony’s bedroom reading. And really it’s not that creepy, he just wants to be close to Tony. Clint is watching TV and lounging. And Thor left to go around the town to do some shopping. Yes, Tony gave him a credit card, which might not have been the smartest idea, but if Thor was somewhere and needed something, better he pay for it then demand it, and throw it on the ground. Yes Jane told them about the coffee incident.

Once the sun is setting, Natasha realizes they haven’t eaten yet, and the lasagna isn’t going to be ready anytime soon. So she calls the boys upstairs. Slowly they make their way up, not surprising Bruce and Tony are the last to arrive.

“So, lasagna is out, it won’t be ready for a few hours and it’s already 6:30. Any suggestions?”  
“yeah, uh We’re going to Mama Theresa’s. Everyone get in the car.” Tony says.

“Um, who put you in charge?” Clint asks.

“Um, let me see… my house, my money, my choice. And really, it’s a great family style restaurant big portions you’ll love it. Trust me.”

“Alight fair enough. To the cars.” They all head to the restaurant.

And Tony was right, and much as they hate to admit it, Mama Theresas had the best everything from garlic knots to the peanut butter pie for desert. Tony was sure they were going to have to roll Thor out for all he ate. And then when they get the bill Tony of course grabs it, considering he pays for everything. Steve asks how much it costs.

“Why? I have enough money to buy us an island if we so wanted. Money doesn’t matter Steve. So stop asking everything I buy.”

“But you spent $50 on breakfast, how much cleaning the house and stocking the fridge so we don’t have to, then you take us out to dinner. We pay for nothing I feel like a freeloader! And everything you buy is so expensive.”

“That’s because they best things are!”

“How much was the 3 bottles of wine you bought with dinner? And you didn't even drink any!”

“Did you enjoy the wine?”  
“Yes, but-“

“Then it doesn’t matter. Steve, I don’t care about a few hundred dollars here and there. I have _billions_. I know that’s not how you grew up. Save money with the war and all, but you don’t need to do that now. I can take care of everything. I don’t mind. Really, do you know how much I give to a charities every year? So I can take us out to dinner.”

“But-“

“Steve, please. I hate talk about money. It’s nothing. Just let me pay, and we’ll talk about it later.” Tony says sighing.

“Will we though?” Steve asks

“I told you what you wanted to know this afternoon, didn’t I?” Tony says slightly angry

“You did, you’re right. I’m sorry. Later.”

“Thank you.”

By the time they get home it’s 9pm. And most just want to go to a room for the night.

“Okay, well. There are 3 bedrooms. And 6 of us. So Bruce and Natasha can bunk up.” Not so subtle wink wink to them “And me and Steve will take one for the team, Steve you’re getting the floor. Clint and Thor can share the guest room, but don’t worry there are two beds in there.”

“Um, I-“

“You’re sharing Bruce get over it.” Tony tells him “We can all see it so.” Actually no one but Tony saw it until then, making them a bit uncomfortable. But nothing else is said. “Follow me.”

They walk to Thor’s and Clints room first. It’s the guest room. It has a two full beds unlike the king beds, the other rooms… but Tony’s considering he was a kid. And he’s not telling them about it. “Here you go Thor. Clint. Bathroom is this door. Goodnight see you in the morning.” They nod thank them and head in. “Natasha Bruce This is the master suit, bathroom is obviously in there. Don’t go in the closets and dresser, my uh dad’s stuff is still in some of it.”

“Alright Tony, thanks. Goodnight.” Natasha and Steve only realizes he said dad, not parents.

“And Steve, your room is here.” He says entering his moms old room.

“You’re not staying?” Steve asks

“You want me too?” Tony asks surprising himself and Steve.

“You said we were bunking up so I just assumed…”

“I mean I didn’t want any of them knowing about my childhood bedroom so I figured I’d say were staying in here…. But I mean if you want I can. The bed is certainly big enough.”

“Umm…” Steve has no idea what to do. He’s never shared a bed before. Hell he and Tony haven’t even kissed yet. And he doesn’t know who it’s because. Tony or Steve. So Steve doesn’t know what to say. After a second Tony speaks

“I’ll go, don’t worry about it Steve its fine. I get-“

“Stay.” Steve says surprising himself and Tony now.

“Are you sure? Don’t feel like you need to, I get it. I do, if you don’t want to we don’t have to.” Tony says making sure Steve understands that tony’s not pressuring him into anything.

“I’m sure. Stay.”

“Okay, if you want I can take the floor.”

“I said stay, not so you could sleep on the floor rather than a bed.” Tony says shutting the door.

“Okay, I just I don’t this feels like a big step for our relationship and we haven’t even kissed yet.” Tony says observing the same thing.

“Well, let’s change that.” Steve whispers

He reaches out and pulled Tony to him. One hand on his waist the other behind his neck. He tipped Tony’s head up and lowered his lips to Tony’s. Tony closed his eyes and melted as his whole body was consumed in that kiss. Chills ran over his skin. Fire burned inside them. There bodies pressed close. Tony wrapped his arms around his neck. Steve’s lips were warmer and softer than anything Tony could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Not unsure like tony was worried about. Tony responded hungrily and tightened his hold on him. His fingers slid down the back of Steve’s neck.  Every placed they touched was electric. The kiss seemed to go on for hours, but it lasted only a few precious moments. Soon Steve pulled back for air. He kept his head resting on Tony’s as they try to catch their breath. Tony’s pupils dilated, face flush never expecting something so… intense from Steve. Tony lips turn into a shy smile, Steve’s following. The moment seemed to drag on, neither wanting it to end.

“Steve.” Tony breathes out.

“I know.” He whispers back. A knock at the door, separates them.  
“Sometimes i-“

“Yeah,” Steve says opening the door.

“Uh,” Clint says feeling like he was interrupting “Did anyone pack soap or anything?”

“Under the sink. I had people pick some up. Stocked in every bathroom so take your pick.” Tony  says sitting on the bed

“Uh thanks.” Steve closes the door. Tony flops down to a laying down position

After a moment Steve speaks

“You’re the first man I’ve ever kissed.” He realizes

“Same.” Tony breathes out still out of breath

“What? I thought you were gay. You have had to…” Steve says

“Oh Steve. I didn’t start out that way. I was straight as they came. But the more I thought about women, the more I couldn’t stop thinking about men. So then I came to the conclusion that I was bisexual.  And then I started thinking more about men then the women I’ve been with. But I couldn’t let the media see I came home with a man, and well then I got together with Pepper. But after her… it was only men. No that’s not true, it was only you. Only ever you.” Tony says realizing.

“For a long time, I thought I hated you.” Tony sits up after the things he just said. “No hold on. That started off bad, let me start again. Oh no that’s gonna be worse.”

“Just tell me.” Tony says

“Well, I thought, and I know different now, that you were nothing compared to your father. But then I got to know you, and you told me about him… and it’s like since you almost died in New York, I couldn’t see you any other way then the hero you were meant to be. The person you don’t let people know you are. You are the only person I could see. Women everywhere throwing themselves at me, but I didn't want them. I tried to deny it for so long, I was a jerk but deep down i think i always knew. But you built me my own floor in your home. You made it just for me, and it’s like you knew everything I wanted. And then we talk and we get to know each other and you open up your soul for me to see, and now, I don’t want to not feel this way. I want to be with you Tony. I do.”

Tony shakes head as tears spring to his eyes. He laughs.

“Look at me.” he wipes his eyes. “All the demons in the world, and I’m laughing here with you, happy. Who would’ve thought? I would be happy. With you. My hero.” Tony stands up and walks over to him

“After everything you’ve been through don’t you think you deserve it?” Steve questions.

“Oh, I’ve asked myself that question every day for years. Never thinking it so, but now… with you. Yeah, I do. I just don’t think I deserve _you._ I think everyone deserves to be happy. I think I’m _lucky_ to be happy with _you_.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it.”

And somehow, not so against reason, they were kissing. The fierceness of the kiss, the desperation… they both had. They were hungry for each other. Tony this time pulled Steve closer, Steve’s never been so close to someone before. Their heart beats In sync. They are one. Once Tony realizes how serious and heated they were getting he pulls back.

“What are you doing?” Steve whispers.

“We’re not going any farther. Not tonight.” Tony sighs

“Why is that your decision?” Steve asks, staying close.

“Because, you Steve are a virgin. And that is fine, something great about you, but I’m not taking that from you tonight. We’re going to wait, and it’s going to be more special then on the same day as our first kiss. Let that in itself be a special. We don’t need to go fast, we have all the time in the world. For once in my life, I want to take it slow. Steve, I want to take it slow, with you.”

“Okay.” Steve nods  

“I’m going to shower.” Tony nods nice cold shower. He thinks.

“Alright.” 

Tony shuts the door and takes a deep breath. That was intense.

“God help me I think I’m in love.” He whispers as he turns the shower on. Little does Tony know Steve’s on the other side of the door thinking the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I had some help with the kiss scene. Hope you enjoyed! Also the restaurant is an actual restaurant by me, it's really good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised. Oh and read end notes it's important.

Previously:

 

Tony shuts the door and takes a deep breath. That was intense.

“God help me I think I’m in love.” He whispers as he turns the shower on. Little does Tony know Steve’s on the other side of the door thinking the exact same thing.

 

~

 

After his shower, he changes into a tee and sweatpants. He opens the door and finds Steve lounging in bed with a book. More than half way through.

“Whatcha reading?”

“hmm, Just an American history book, filling in what I missed.”

“Makes sense.” Tony walks over to the bed and lays down grabbing his tablet. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep, one with his nightmares and two he’s only shared a bed once, with Pepper and it didn’t end well. He figures once Steve falls asleep he’ll go to the garage.

About an hour later, Steve decides to go to sleep, considering he got up at 7, Steve his usual 6 am. Tony himself is even having trouble staying awake considering he didn’t sleep at all the past 2 days and barely any since he got back. Steve turns the lights out and rolls over. Soon Steve is asleep and Tony’s having a hard time staying awake. Soon, Tony is asleep too.

 

 

He wakes up when Steve turns the bedside lamp on.

“My god what time is it?”

“6 am. Sorry, you can go back to sleep.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.” Tony rolls over and sighs then he gasps. No dreams. No nightmares or prophecies. That’s the second time since Afghanistan that’s ever happened. Once was his first night back, he was so tired he had no dreams at all. And now… with Steve.

“I need coffee.”

“Okay, well we can go make some breakfast after I shower, if you want.”

“Well, let’s eat like something light and then we can make Brunch when everyone else is up?”

“Sure, good idea.”

 

The rest of day goes by similar to the last. Bruce and Tony in the lab. Steve reading and lounging same with Natasha Clint catching up on his favorite tv shows. And Thor trying to learn more about Midgard.

Tonight at dinner they have lasagna, and they have to admit Natahsa makes a pretty mean lasagna.

Once again they head to their rooms having a non-productive day. Which is okay with them.

 

Once again Steve and Tony are lying in bed facing away from each other.

“Steve?” Tony says rolling to face him.

“Yeah?” Steve says rolling over.

“I just feel like… we haven’t talked much this vacation. I’ve spent it in the lab, and I want to spend it with you… just us, a nice get away.”

“Okay, well if you want you and me can go into town tomorrow?”

“No, not really… I just, what do couples do on their vacation? Besides sex?”

“Well, I’m not really sure. I told you I’ve never been on vacation.”

“Well, we could go wine tasting? There’s a venue not too far from here?”

“Yeah, that… That sounds nice.” Steve smiles.

“I’ll make a few calls, see what I can do.” Tony smiles. “Good night.” Tony stays facing him.

“Good night.” This time Tony stays awake while Steve falls asleep. He slowly and quietly climbs out of bed, missing Steve already. But what are the chances of not having a nightmare, again. So tony slowly opens the door, silently leaving. He heads down the Garage and starts working on these new arrows. They’re magnetic so they pull the guns or whatever the badguy is using away from them. He saw it on a tv show and wants to know if it could possibly be done. He’s working on the specs now. A few minutes later he heres footsteps and he turns around and see’s Steve leaning on the doorframe.

“Hey, what are you doing down here?” Tony asks Steve.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Steve says quietly

“Oh, working on somethings for the team, you know the usual.”

“Yeah, but why aren’t you in bed, sleeping?” With me didn’t need saying.

“I’m not tired.”

“Why are you really down here Tony? I know it’s not to work on whatever it is, something is bothering you. And I want to know what. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“I don’t really do the whole sleep thing, last night was just because I wanted us to have that. I wanted _you_ to have that.” Steve pauses a moment thinking of what to say

“You have bad dreams? Is that it, you don’t want me to know?”

“No, well yeah, I have bad dreams, but it’s not that I don’t want you to know… I could hurt you. It happened with Pepper. She made me sleep on the couch for a month.” The last part wasn’t supposed to come out.

“Super Soldier here remember? You won’t hurt me and if you do I’ll heal. Tony, I’ll be fine. Come back to bed.”

“I don’t know.” Tony says slowly.

“Come on, I won’t ever make you sleep on the couch. Not now not ever.”

“does that mean you plan on us sharing a bed in the future?” Tony says picking up on what Steve didn’t realize he said.  
“Oh, I didn’t…. well I mean eventually. If you want. It might be good for you. Help keep you sleeping on a normal human schedule.”

“Yeah, well I do my best work at night. It’s quiet, the city I mean, well it’s never quiet but its more than during the day. One can get a lot done.”

“We’re not in the city now, so come back to sleep. I’ll scare the dreams away.” Tony rolls his eyes but nods. Steve garbs tony’s hand and they walk up to their room. They take there respective sides of the bed, ready to sleep when tony nuzzles next to steve his head on his shoulder. Steve wraps tony close.

“Goodnight tony.”

“Night Steve.”

Soon they drift off to sleep a smile on their faces

 

Reds hand is around Tony’s throat. Lifting him into the air as tony scratches his hands. Steve finally realizes he needs to move and he starts for Red. Halfway Tony stops struggling and Tony’s perception switches as if he’s looking in from an outsiders perspective rather than his own. He gasps when Red drops Himself dead on the ground. Steve sees Tony fall and uses his rage to finish him. Red isn’t on the floor for 2 seconds before Steve runs to Tony.

“No, no no no. Tony! Tony!” He tries to feel a pulse.  “JARVIS get Bruce here the team! Medical anyone who can help! Monitor his heartbeat! Is he alive?” Steve shouts all at once.

“Sir… sir does not have a pulse.” JARVIS says pained

“No. That’s unacceptable.” Bruce runs into the room.

“Bruce! He doesn’t have a pulse! Fix it save him!”

“Oh my god.” Bruce runs to Tony and starts giving him CPR and mouth to mouth. The avengers are not far after Bruce. The silence is sickening. After the longest 3 minutes of their lives Bruce sits up and shakes his head. There’s a sickening laughter as tony starts to wake up.

 

~

 

Tony opens his eyes and bolts up in bed. His breathing is fast, and his palms are sweaty. Salty tears streaming down his face. He glances at Steve who is opening his eyes feeling tony sitting up. He gets out of bed nearly falling to the floor.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Steve asks sitting up

“I’m gonna die. Steve, I just watched myself die.” He covers his mouth with his hand.

“Tony, it’s alright I was just a bad dream.”

“No Steve it wasn’t.” Tony takes a step back

“You mean that was a prophecy?” Steve says turning the bedside lamp on.

Tony nods his head “I’m gonna die. And there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.”

“Tony, tell me-“

“No, Steve no. I need I need to I need, um Steve” Tonys breaths are short and ragged and he feels himself backing up. He shakes his head. Falling to the ground. He curls up.  
“Oh my god tony.” Steve runs to his side. He’s never seen anyone let alone Tony have a panic attack. He doesn’t know what to do. He starts rubbing Tony’s back. Saying soothing nothings.

“Hey, tony. You’re alright. Nothing is gonna happen.”

“I’m gonna die. I’m really gonna die this time. There’s nothing I can do to save me. I’m gonna die. I don’t want to die.”

“You’re not gonna die tony we’ll save you. I promise we’ll save you.” Tony leans into Steves embrace and slowly gets his Barings back. After a moment Tony moves a step back. Instantly feeling empty missing Steve. He takes a deep breath and stands up.

“I’m just gonna…” He points to the door and takes a step back

“Don’t you dare, you’re staying here with me. I’m not letting you leave.”

“What if I want to?”

“I guess I’ll let you go, but I don’t want you to. Just come lay down.”

“Okay…” tony gives in. “I guess.”

He climbs back into bed, with Steve staying on the edge of the bed.

“Tony, you can come closer.” And he does with his back pressing against Steves chest.

“Goodnight Tony.”

“Night Steve.” Soon Steve falls asleep but Tony stays awake, thinking of ways for him not to die. When he feels Steve start to wake up he pretends to wake up too so Steve doesn’t know he stayed awake.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

“See, no bad dreams.”

“Yeah, you were right.” They stay in there position for a few more minutes

“I really should get up.”

“But we’re no comfy and cozy and really whats 5 more minutes. No one’s gonna be up for hours. I don’t know why you don’t just get up at like 9 like a normal person. Why 6? And you don’t even have an alarm clock it’s like it’s internal. Which is just weird on it’s own. I’m getting off topic.” Steve chuckles “Right 5 more minutes. Pleeeeeaaassee” Tony whines

“Fine.” Steve gives in “5 more minutes.”

“Yes!” he snuggles closer to Steve. 5 more minutes actually turned into 20.

“We really should get up.”

“Ugh, fine.” Tony doesn’t move and Steve sighs. “I’m getting up this time I really am.”

“So do it.” Tony snorts.

“I will.” But he doesn’t

“You’re not moving.”

“But I will.”

“But you’re not.” Tony laughs “You like this as much as me.”

“Yeah, but… I have things to do.”

“What things?” Tony snorts “get breakfast and lounge around until everyone wakes up. We can do that in here.”

“We could.” Steve admits “But I get up at 6 everyday.”

“yeah, but it’s 6:30. So today is a cheat day. You can stay in bed as long as we’d like. We could stay in bed all day. That’d be nice.”

“Yeah, but I thought we were gonna go wine tasting.”  
“Yeah, we are. But they won’t be open for hours.”

“if you’re trying to convince me it’s not working.”

“Really? Cause you’re still in bed.” Tony laughs

“Yeah, but I’m getting up.”

“We’ve been over this. You’re not.” Steve laughs

“I’m getting up. See?” And Steve starts moving.

“Aw, Steve. Come on.”  He kisses tony head.

“I’m getting up.” And he does. Tony sighs

“I’m going to shower, feel free to stay in bed.” Steve heads to the shower and shuts the door.

“Was that an invite?” Tony asks himself. “I can’t tell if that was an invite.”

“That was an invite!” He hears Steve shout through the door. Tony smiles but his face falls, when he realizes he’s not gonna join. How the hell is he supposed to have a relationship with anyone, let alone Steve, if he doesn’t want him to see him naked? He hears the shower turn on but he doesn’t know what to do. He wish he could have talked to Steve before he puts him on the spot.

“Are you coming?!” Steve shouts. Tony shakes his head.

“What the hell.” He whispers to himself and he opens the door. His eyes fall as he watches Steve undress with his back to him. “I’m gonna burn in hell for what I’m thinking.” He whispers. Steve turns his head back so he’s looking at Tony but still facing front.   
“Coming?” He asks as he opens the door and gets in.

Tony nods. “Yeah I am.” He starts taking his clothes off. Once he enters the shower, he tries to cover his arc reactor.  While also trying not to stare at Steve’s perfect body. Steve slowly grabs his hands and pulls them away.  
“You don’t need to hide from me. I don’t care you have an arc reactor, I don’t care you have scars, I don’t care about any of that because I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Tony laughs “You’re not so bad yourself.” He says looking down.

“I wasn’t talking about size.” Steve says also looking down. Tony and Steve both have to admit they’re both good.

“I know.” Tony breaths

Steve pulls him in for a kiss but tony holds on

“We’re not doing anything. I want to wait.” He whispers.

“I know.” Steve whispers back but Tony closes the distance. Steve tilted Tony’s face up and kissed him. Like always the world around them stopped. Their world became each other. Tony wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Tony stopped caring about his arc reactor, his scars. All he cared about was Steve, his Steve. They don’t know how long they stood there kissing, but eventually Steve pulled back.

“We should…”

“yeah.” Once they’re out of the shower Tony looks at the time

“7:30. We were in there for like an hour.”

“Wow, I’m never in my room this late.”

“Our.” Tony corrects automatically

“What?” Steve asks

“oh, nothing doesn’t matter.” Tony plays off.

“Our room… yeah I guess is.”

“Come on breakfast… things to do.” Tony leads them out of the room to the kitchen, where Natasha is sitting drinking coffee. Tony walks over and grabs a mug.

“And what were you too doing that Steve came down at 7:30 rather than 6?” Just as Steve is about to say sleeping tony cuts him off.

“Drugs.” Tony says from the counter nonchalantly Steve chokes. “Smoking weed and snorting cocaine. You know, the usual stuff. Why Natasha? Would you like us to let you know next time? I’m sure I can afford to buy you some?” Natasha shakes her head. “Or maybe we were having hardcore sex?” Steve eyes nearly pop out of his head and Natasha raises and eyebrow. “I can’t remember? Maybe it was all that moonshine and tequila we drank last night everything’s a little hazy. You know we could have been playing twister, I woke up a little stiff.” Tony shrugs “I guess we’ll never know.” Tony shakes his head and shrugs as Steve tries to recuperate. And Natasha shakes her head.

“Ha ha very funny.”

“I know. Maybe I’d give you a serious answer if you didn’t imply things. What are you trying to do? Find out if me and Steve are banging while you can’t hear us? We’ll I’ll let you know if such a thing would happen. I promise.” Natasha shakes her head and stands up

“I know something is going on between you two. After you left for those two weeks you didn’t see Steve. He was barely alive worried sick about you. And now you’re closer than ever. Somethings up. I wanna know what it is.”

“We’re friends, who got really close.” Natasha shrugs and leaves. Once she’s out of hearing distance tony continues “We’re gonna have to tell them something. They’re gonna figure it out eventually.”

“Well, I’d rather not yet.” Tony looks down.

“Steve, being gay is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“No, I know that.”

“it’s me then. You don’t want them to know about me.” Tony realizes.

“No, tony it’s not that.” He walks over to him and cups his face in his hands. “it is not you. I promise. I’m not embarrassed to be with you. I just want to wait.”

“Why?” Tony moves away “Because you’re not sure about us? That we’ll last.”

“No tony.” Steve says moving forward but Tony takes a step back.

“Why Steve? Why don’t you want them knowing?”

“Because… because… I want it to be our secret for a little bit. Just us. You know? With the hassle they’ll give us, or the gay jokes. I’m not ready for them to know. Okay? It’s not you I swear it’s not you.” he takes a step towards tony and tony lets him.

“Okay. But I want to tell them within the month.”

“Deal.” Tony pulls him in for a hug. I love you on the tip on Tony’s tongue. But he doesn’t think now would be an appropriate time to tell him.

“wine tasting then yeah?”

 

 

The next week goes by fairly similar. Tony and Steve spending most of their time together, Tony in the garage with Bruce, Avenger family dinners. It’s typical they get the call while opening the 3rd bottle of wine. It was actually Cap who got the call. 

He frowns when it rings. All his friends are here.  
“hello?”

“Rogers?!” It’s Fury. He hears gunshots in the background.

“What’s going on what’s happening?” The avengers turn and look at Steve.

“We’re under attack. I need you guys here! NOW! We can hold them off here, but they’re headed too New York! They’re an hour out.”

“We’re 2 hours away!”

“Get Stark here! I don’y care what you have to do! MOVE!” That ends the phonecall.

“We have to go, I don’t know whats happening.” They all start for the door. “Tony you need to go ahead and hold them off. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I’ll go now, get the comms up Bruce. I’ll keep you updated.” Tony runs to the bedroom and gets his portable suit.  Everyone else heads to the quinjet.

“JARVIS fill me in on what’s happening at HQ.” he says once he’s in the sky  
“They seem to be under attack. I’ll bring up footage.” He’s watching as SHEILD agents turn on each other.

“Is this anyone we know.”

“No, it doesn’t appear so. They seem to be… duplicates.”

“Great clones now we won’t know who’s on whose side.”

“Well, the clones seem to be able to fly.”

“Well, that’s a difference. Are the comms up?”

“It appears they don’t have them working yet.”

“Let me know as soon as they’re online.” He puts more power into the thrusters.                                                        

 

 

Just as Tony arrives to NYC the comms turn on

“Tony? What’s your status.”

“Well, took you long enough.” Tony says flying through manhattan looking for any signs

“Sorry, Bruce had trouble figuring out the setting.” Steve says

“Setting 7 on ZZY transition. Easy to remember.”

“Any way, Satus!” To sees the clones.

“Oh uh yeah I’m here. How far away are you?” he flies towards them a stops short, having them not do anything.

“About 45 minutes.”  
“Great, one sec.”

“Wait tony-“ He turns the comms off.

“Hello?” He shouts to the clones. He recognizes some of them. “What do you want?”

“We are here to end.” One says

“End what?”

“isn’t it obvious?”  
“Yeah, just remind me.” Tony sighs

“You’re existence.”

“And why can’t you use your own faces?”

“They’re less likely to kill us if we look like them.”

“great, so whats happening with you twins are they alive.”

“We keep them alive so we can use their memories in emergencies.”

“Emergencies? Like when youget wounded? You go home?” Tony asks in disbelief

“Correct.”

“Awesome.” He turns the comms back on.

“Guys, we got…”

“We need him, he can get us on the inside!” One says in the background

“These things, I don’t they’re like-“

“I agree. We can pretend to be him, have them gain our trust and we can kill them from the inside.” Tony stops talking as he hears that.

“Um…”

“What is it tony?! what are they?!?”

“Clones, they’re clones. And I gotta go. Um get here ASAP there’s a lot of them.” Tony starts to fly away but one of the clones stops him with a gun that prevents him from moving.

“Open his helm.”

“JARVIS get me out of here.”

“It seems I am unable to do that.”

“Ah shit.” He says when they take his helmet off. That’s the last thing he remembers before everything goes dark.

His eyes shoot open and he finds himself in a dark room, unable to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the thing is, I suck at writing smut... so if someone wants to be my co-author on those parts that would be AMAZING, otherwise i'm sad to say there probably won't be any. I tried, i really did it was just not good. Comment if you're interested and i'll give you my number. Thanks!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been forever since in update and my excuses don't matter but i'm back to updating. I'm calling Clone Tony CTony. I know it's short but i wanted to get something out. I'll get more out soon. (only edited the previously, which i forgot to put. nothing new happens)

Previously: 

“Ah shit.” He says when they take his helmet off. That’s the last thing he remembers before everything goes dark.

His eyes shoot open and he finds himself in a dark room, unable to move.

 

Clone Tony is in the suit pretending to fight the clones. He uses Tony's memories to talk to the team. He turns his comm back on.

“Sorry about that, but I could really use your help right about now!”

“How many are there?”

“Hundreds. I'd say 300 max.”

“Okay, what are they doing?”

“Destroying the city. Causing havoc what's your eta?”

“We're about here just 15 minutes!”

“Okay, hold down the fort.”

CTony who’s real name is Oliver. pretends to fight. About 5 minutes before the team gets there CTony realizes they’re terribly out matched.

“I’m sorry. I’m really Sorry.”

“What… Oliver?” His sister asks.

“We’re not going to win. I have a chance here. I can be… better. A hero. I’m sorry, but I’m taking it.”

“What does that mean for us? You’re just going to kill us all?”

“No, I’ll let the Avengers take care of us… you.”

“Fine, _tony._ ” She snaps. “Then I’m taking you with us. Family,” She directs it to everyone. “Regroup on _Tony_. He’s a traitor and needs to be taken care of.”

“Don’t do this. Let me have this. Please.”

“NO.”

“Don’t make me do this, please. I don’t want to fight you.” He sees the shapeshifters coming.

“Too late.” His sister reaches for him. And without any other choice he shoots her. And he keeps shooting. Hating himself for each one he kills. The Avengers showed up. They battle, they win. Like always.  He looks around at all the dead bodies of his family and he feels a pang of regret. He heads back to the quinjet.

They head back to the stark tower quietly. No one really likes the battles they have to fight. Killing people for the greater good. They still feel it, and right now CTony feels it more then ever. When they land he heads for the spinning rims thingy. He takes off his suit.

“Well… uh good job guys.” Steve says CTony shakes his head. The rest of the day is uneventful. Steve and CTony hang out, and CTony spends time in the lab. The Avengers notice CTony’s more quiet than usual. A lot more actually. The decide Steve should be the one to talk to him. He heads down to the lab where CTony is staring at the same blueprint he has been for the last 20 minutes.

“Tony?” CTonys head jerks up.

“Steve? What are you doing here?” He asks turning around.  
“We’re worried. You’ve been quiet today, more so then usual. Did something happen earlier?”

“Nah, just don’t like killing people… or things. But I’m fine, saved New York again. Why does everything happen here though? Have you ever thought about it? A lot of bad people come here.”

“Is that why you’re sad?” Steve asks

“No, it’s just sometimes I get sad. I usually like to be alone.” That’s the Oliver part in CTony.

“Oh, well I can go…”

“No, you can stay. I think I just want to go lay down… if you want to join me?” CTony asks nervously.

“Sure, I could use a nap.” Steve says. He still a little surprised tony asked. I guess they’ve made a big step in their relationship.  
“We should take the elevator so no one knows.”

“Good idea…” He nods and they head up. Once the elevator door closes Ctony pulls him in a hug.

 

The rest of the week goes by and everything I wonderful. Steve and (c)Tony are getting along great, their relationship is moving fast. They haven’t had Sex. For some reason Ctony feels the need to wait for Steve. It’s actually 1 week and 5 days before it happens. There in Tonys room, which is now Steves room too because he’s spent most of the nights there in the past 12 days. There talking and Tony is smiling at Steve

 

“I lov-“ Just as Tony’s about to tell Steve the glass shatters and someone enters. But no just any someone. It’s Red. Tony backs up and shakes his head.

“Oh, I found you.”

“No No you can’t be here.” Ctonys eyes are wide

“Oh can’t I? You’re not the only one who’s ever left the pit.”

“the pit…? Tony?” He looks at him.

“Steve, kill him. Kill him, Steve!” When he makes no move Tony shouts. “Please.”

“This is him? Wow, he never did save you did he?”

“Steve.” His eyes are pleading.

“Well, I may have only gotten 40 years with you in there, but I couldn’t kill you in the pit. I can kill you now!”

“Steve!” He shouts as red starts moving. Steve is frozen to the stop. He’s still trying to put two ad two together. “Please Steve.” He shouts as Red gets closer. Just as Red is just about at Tony he snaps back to reality. But Red’s hand is around Tony’s throat. Oh god.

“TONY!”

Reds hand is around Tony’s throat. Lifting him into the air as tony scratches his hands. Steve finally realizes he needs to move and he starts for Red.

Steve gasps when Red drops Tony dead on the ground. Steve sees Tony fall and uses his rage to finish him. Red isn’t on the floor for 2 seconds before Steve runs to Tony.

“No, no no no. Tony! Tony!” He tries to feel a pulse.  “JARVIS get Bruce here the team! Medical anyone who can help! Monitor his heartbeat! Is he alive?” Steve shouts all at once.

“Sir… sir does not have a pulse.” JARVIS says pained

“No. That’s unacceptable.” Bruce runs into the room.

“Bruce! He doesn’t have a pulse! Fix it save him!”

“Oh my god.” Bruce runs to Tony and starts giving him CPR and mouth to mouth. The avengers are not far after Bruce. The silence is sickening. After the longest 3 minutes of their lives Bruce sits up and shakes his head.

 

 

Tony can move! He can move! He jumps up as fast as he can and he runs into the street. People are surpirised to see him but he knows he’s close to the tower. He pushes himself faster feeling his legs stretch  not having used them in over a week. He sees the tower and pushes himself farther faster. He’s pushing past people and soon he’s in front of the building.

He runs in and goes to the elevator.

“JARVIS, take me to where ever the avengers are.”

He pauses for a moment, JARVIS Being confused “Of course, Sir.” But he sounds confused.

“I’ll explain later.”

“Okay Sir.” The elevator opens and he runs to his room. He hears

“He’s gonna be okay, right?” No one answers and he burst through the door.

“Oh thank god.” The avengers stand up, as if he’s a threat. “You killed him.” He smiles, but then he really looks on there face. And then he sees red.

“You didn’t kill him. He did.” He realizes “You didn’t even know that wasn’t me!” He looks at the clone and back to the Avengers. He shakes his head and walks (runs) away

“Wait! Tony, I don’t understand!” Steve follows Tony along with the rest if the avengers Tony shakes his ehad

“That was a _clone._ It wasn’t me. I was stuck in a warehouse unable to move, and you didn’t even realize I was dying.”

Steve is actually speechless. So is the team. Tony shakes his head.  “I’m going to my lab. Don’t bother me.” He heads for the elevator which JARVIS has ready

“Tony.” Steve says with so much emotion. But he keeps walking and goes to his lab. He needs a drink. And he doesn’t care what they’re going to say about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and it was worth the wait.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, I meant to update like 3 weeks ago, but i started this new novel and there are 13 books plus some short stories, so i've just been so into them... I'm on book 12, but I wanted to get this out. Its short, but i wanted to get it out.

Previously: “Tony.” Steve says with so much emotion. But he keeps walking and goes to his lab. He needs a drink. And he doesn’t care what they’re going to say about it.

 

~

 

He kept 2 bottles of alcohol. Not that he told the avengers. He didn’t do it because he thought he was gonna relapse and that he didn’t mean it… he just felt like he needed too. He’s half way done with his first bottle when he hears a knock on the door.

“Go away! I’m not talking to your dumb ass.” He takes a swig of the bottle. The door opens and he looks up to the ceiling “Jarvis. I swear to god.”

“Tony?” he hears Steve ask

“GO away asshat.” He turns around to face Steve who looks so guilty.

“I’m so s-“

“What? you’re so sorry Steve. ‘How could you possibly know the difference between me and fake me?’ ‘He was so much like you! He even acted like you!’ ‘He was a clone Steve of course he was like me.’ ‘Which is how we didn’t know.’ ‘Fuck you I would’ve known.’ Are we done now?” Tony  plays out the conversation with himself

“No Tony. I… I just. I’m sorry. And I want to make it up to you. Tell me how to make it up to you.” Tony turns around seething with anger

“Get out of my tower.” Steve takes a step back hurt

“You don’t mean that Tony.”

“Yeah I do. Get out.” When Steve doesn’t move Tony throws the bottle missing Steve by a few inches. “GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!” Tony screams when Steve nods and heads to the door Tony continues “I want you out of my tower by morning.” His voice venom “I want you and everyone cleaned out. I don’t care where you go, just be gone.”

He doesn’t see the tears slide down Steves face.

He doesn’t hear the sobs coming from his only real boyfriend.

He doesn’t see the pain on the other avengers face when Steve tells him Tony wants them gone.

He just drinks his tequila and goes to sleep.

 

He wakes up with a killer hangover and gets up to get some coffee. And then he remembered that the avengers are gone. He frowns not really sure how he feels about that. He shrugs and heads to the kitchen where he sees Steve sitting at the table. His bags are nowhere in sight, sleeping with his arm holding is head. He see’s dried tears on Steves cheek

 

“Steve. What are you doing here?” He asks jolting Steve out of his sleep.

“Tony.”

“Steve, I told you to leave. I… I don’t want you here.” Steve sits up more awake now.

“See, I don’t believe you. You were drunk, upset and I think you still want us here. Even if you are mad.”

“Mad? I am fucking _pissed._ Steve, you don’t have any idea what happened to me while you were playing house with a man who wasn’t me. While I was trapped and starving!” He glares “Did you guys kiss? Go on dates? Have sex?” He questioned

“NO! No, Tony we didn’t have sex. I swear. And we have a date, but you uh bought out the whole restaurant. Where we… kissed. But I swear it was never more than that!”

“I was _starving to death_. Steve. I was stuck and dying and you went on fucking dates. Good fucking job.”

“I love you.” Steve blurts out. “I really, really love you and I won’t give up. Tony please don’t give up on me. On us. Please.” Steve has tears in his eyes and Tony turns away.

Tony shakes his head “I love you too, even if you are an asshole.” Steve lights up “But after this?” Tony wipes his tear “I don’t know if we can be together, Steve. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. But that isn’t enough for me, right now.” He shakes his head and whispers “I’m sorry.”

“Let us stay and I can show you. Please.” Steve whispers. “Let me show you how much I love you.” Tony rubs his face and sighs

“Fine. But I have conditions. I’ll tell you guys when they come back.”

“Oh thank you tony. and um… they’re still here hoping I got through to  you.”

“Oh my god.” Tony shakes his head “Do they know? About us?”

“Um… well no, but sorta they think we are… but they’re not sure. Sorry.”

“Get them up here.”

 

Once the team is here they head over for the couch where Tony is standing in front.

“First things first. Fuck all of you. Okay? Second. According to Steve you all think we’re a couple. We uh… kinda of are, I’m not really sure right now, but… we were before I got kidnapped.”

“I told you!” Clint points at them “I fucking new it.”

“Any way, I have conditions with you guys staying here.” He gives each a look. “You guys are freeloaders. You don’t pay rent, you don’t pay for food, and you don’t work. Well Clint and Natasha work for shield, but that’s not what I mean. Do you have any idea how hard I work for my money? I don’t think you guys really appreciate all I do for my company and you. I don’t just spend my time building you the best arrows or the best uniform, when I’m down in my lab days at a time. I’m working for my company. Creating new things to keep us in business. I may have billions, but I work for it. I earned it, I didn’t ‘just inherit it’. I made twice the money then my dad did.” The avengers look at each other in shock “So I want some compensation for all I do. I don’t want rent, I don’t care about that. What I want is someone to cook dinner, someone groceries shop and for people to clean. I pay for all of that, but I think you can manage to keep your own floor and this one clean. I hire people to grocery shop, but that’s not how I want it done anymore. And you guys cook, but I want a family dinner thing every single night.” He raises an eyebrow daring them to challenge.

“I,” Steve starts slowly “Think that’s fair. And I think we are freeloaders who should do something for this tower. We’re like a family.” He gives each of the group a look “And we treat Tony like-“

“Our sugar daddy?” Clint fills in with a laugh

“Basically yes.” Steve rolls his eyes. “And I think we need to do more.”

“Yeah.” Natasha says “I agree.”

“I too.” Thor says

“And I don’t think anyone besides me gives Tony enough credit for what he does for us and this company.” Bruce says giving Tony a smile. “You know, I recall you saying the spinning rims thing outside was a waste of money, Clint.” Clint nods.

“What?” Tony ask annoyed

“He built that.” Bruce informs

Everyone’s jaw drops.

“The hell, where on earth could I buy that? I have a one of a kind suit and there’s no fucking way anyone else could build that.”

“Wow, tony. I’m sorry.” Clint appologizes

“It’s alright, I guess.” They nod “I just want to know, what happened with the fake me. Anything major? Cherished friendships spurt?”

“Dude, wewere you “cherished friend” Before the fake you.” Clint says “But nothing major. You weren’t in your lab a lot, but that’s probably because it wasn’t you.” His eyes flicker to Steve

“What? Just tell me.”

“Uh…” Clint doesn’t know how to respond

“We spent a lot of time together the past week.” Steve says

“Great.”

“Um, Tony?” Bruce asks softly

“Yeah Brucie?”

“Well, what was the thing that killed fake you?” He wonders the Avengers nodding to the question.

“Something I don’t want to talk about.” He says sternly

“Was he… from where you went?” Steve referring to the pit.

“Yes, and that’s all I’m saying on that subject, understood?” He dares anyone to challenge him.

The all nod.

“But if you want to talk… all of us are here, you don’t have to keep it bottled, okay?” Natasha surprisingly says

“I know. and I don’t. I can’t even think about it. so I just want food. Like now.”

“Pizza or Chinese?”

“Ohhhh both.” Tony grins. They nod and Steve orders.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, i'm updating the tags, just so you know.

Previously: 

"Pizza or Chinese?”

“Ohhhh both.” Tony grins. They nod and Steve orders.

~  
  


After they eat Tony says his goodnight and actually heads to his bedroom. He takes a nice long shower and walks into his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walks in and see’s Steve sitting on his bed.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asks knocking Steve out of his thought.

“Well… I was sleeping in here… with the other you.”

“Not the other me. The fake me.” Tony says bitterly “Looks like you got farther with an impostor than the real thing.” Steve sighs.

“I just wanted to know if I can sleep in here or not.” Steve says tiredly and tony shakes his head.

“Not tonight. I’m not sure what I’m feeling and I want to be alone. Sorry.” Tony looks down.

Steve nods and walks out.

Tony gets dressed and heads to his bed. He rips off the comforter and sheets and drags them into the little kitchen. He grabs a garbage bag and throws them in it. Tomorrow he’s going to burn it. He goes back to his room and grabs his replacement sheet. And an old blanket and wraps it around himself. He soon drifts off to sleep.

 

He wakes up to a knock on the door and he calls for them to come in.

“Tony?” it’s Steve

“What’s up, Cap.” Steve frowns at Cap, but puts it to Tony’s half asleep mind, which honestly, it was.

“We uh… are making breakfast. What’s with the sheets?”

“I’ll be down in a few.” Tony says ignoring the question. Steve nods and leaves. For a good 5 minutes Tony debates actually getting up, but he was the one who wanted to do more Avenger Family stuff so he heads down.

He sees Clint on pancakes Steve on eggs Nat on bacon and sausage Bruce on potatoes and Thor working with the coffee machine. He immediately runs to it.

“I got this one big guy.”  
“Thanks many friend. I was worried I might break it.”

“No problem.” So Tony starts making a pot of coffee looking at everyone talking and laughing and he wonders what he missed while they were playing house. One the pot is ready he pours himself a giant cup and sits down at the table.

He watches everyone work and not before long everyone is grabbing a plate. He stays and enjoys his coffee.

“Aren’t you gonna eat something tony?”

“No, I don’t like eggs, remember?”

“No, you love them.” Natasha says

“No, I _hate_ them. I told Steve that last month.” Tony rolls his eyes

“But… _oh_.” Natasha realizes

“I guess fake me liked them. Well I don’t. That should have been an indicator Steve.” He says with a glare and everyone looks down.

“Well, I’m-“

“We got pancakes, chocolate chip _and_ blueberry.”

“Thanks, but I’ll pass. I’m really far behind on my work.” Tony fills his mug and exits the room. He gets to his lab and starts tinkering with the invention he worked on last. He notices not a thing changed. Fake him did shit.

“J, bring up the to do list, starting with the deadlines I missed.”

“Of course, Sir.” On his board he see’s 3 things past the deadline 2 things due tomorrow and 4 due in 3 days.

“It’s gonna be a long day J, put on some AC/DC and lock the door.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Once the music is blasting he gets to work.

 

He’s on the 3rd thing past the due day when JARVIS tells him Steves at the door.

“Tell him I’m busy.”

“He is insisting Sir.”

“Turn down the music and let him in.”

“Yes, Sir.” He hear the door open and his back is to Steve

“Steve, I’m really swamped here.”

“Um… we made the family dinner and you haven’t eaten all day.” Tony grabs his screwdriver and fixes the unusable part. Steve takes a step closer.

“I know, but the fake me didn’t do shit, and I’m over a week behind on all my projects and the deadline was 4 days ago. They’re already pissed and I can’t make it later. I need this and two other things done tonight.”

“Well, can I bring you something? Maybe a plate and a soda?” Steve puts his hand on Tony

“Look Steve, that’s fine, but I’m really busy. Like more so. Maybe a just something simple because I don’t have time. I’m not trying to blow you off, I just need to get this done.”

“I know… we made pasta.”

“That’s to time consuming just bring me a pop tart or granola bar if you must.” Tony starts on his virtual board again.

“Alright.” He feels Steve remove his hand and he gets back to work

“Music J?” J turns the music back up to full volume.

 

UPSTAIRS

“Is he coming?” Clint asks taking the garlic bread out of the oven as Steve re-enters the kitchen

“No, he said he’s days behind his work and he doesn’t have time. He said they people are already pissed and he needs to get it done tonight. I guess it makes sense since no one knew he was kidnapped.” Steve sighs sitting in his seat. “I feel bad. I knew Tony didn’t like eggs. I knew that. He said it to me specifically and when the other Tony started eating them I didn’t think it was weird. I should have noticed.”

“Hey, Steve, it’ not your fault.” Natasha says

“Tony is right. We should have known. Now that I think of it, I can see the little differences. Tony was _never_ in his lab. Never. I should have known it was off. He needs to work. He spent too much time with us and he ate foods he didn’t like and… our relationship was different. I should have known. I was just too happy that everything was going great to notice.” Steve slams his hand down on the table.

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” Clint says

“Yes it is. When we were in California Tony barely slept the whole night. He got up early cause he couldn’t sleep or he went to the lab because… of… nightmares that he didn’t want me to know about. But the clone didn’t have any of that. He got a full 8 hours of sleep didn’t have one bad dream. I should have noticed. And the real Tony was never fully happy sharing a bed.” Steve looks down embarrassed but continues “He never fully liked it because he was nervous about it. but the fake Tony was different about it. and he talked to me about stuff. Which is unlike him. And I didn’t know the difference. I should have known. Tony’s right. He would have noticed if it were me replaced. But I didn’t and I hate myself for getting lost in it to realize it wasn’t real.” The avengers listen to there Captain

“I didn’t know that about Tony. That he didn’t like sharing a bed.” Bruce says

“Well, it makes sense, you know? After all he’s been through? And he’s not a very… sharing person and doesn’t want to talk about his nightmares let alone have some one seeing them. He'd rather deal with it on his own.”

“Is he okay?” Natasha asks

“Well, I don’t know. I didn’t sleep next to him last night. He didn’t want me too. he's not talking to me like he use to and I don't like it."

"He's mad, i can see it. Hell i'd be too. it'll get back to normal." Clint assures

"And this morning he was in a old blanket and different sheets. I don’t know what that’s about.” Steve says frowning

“He probably didn’t want to use the same ones you and fake him used.” Clint thinks “It’s not that weird.”

“I guess.” Steve sighs “With all these signs I should have known”

“It’s not just you Steve. We all should have seen the signs.” Bruce says

“yeah but I’m his boyfriend." Steve is still a little nervous saying it "I should see it.”

“And I’m his best friend.” Bruce says. “I should have known when his lab was collecting dust that it wasn’t him.”

“It all our faults. And he’s the one who paid the price. I say we make it up to him. Tomorrow. Whats his favorite meal?” Natahsa asks

“Oh.” Steve says. “Um he told me about this dish, it’s the only one he can cook. It’s a cheese and rice stuffed and breaded chicken breast. I’m sure he has the recipe somewhere. And I can make my chocolate cake.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Clint nods.

“Okay, well I’ll find the recipe in his room and you guys go shopping tomorrow and we’ll make it up to him.” Steve says

“Yeah, this could work.” Bruce says. The avengers talk some more and come up with a plan.

 

~

 

Tony is in his lab a half eaten Pb & J in the corner and an empty soda in the recycling bin (He’s all for saving the planet, self sustaining energy _and_ recycling.) He finished the third due date and sent it out with the email attachment

 

“Wasn’t myself this past week, sorry about it being late, won’t happen again.

-Stark”

He just about finished the 1st thing due tomorrow and he decides to call it a night.  It’s 1 am and the whole house is probably asleep. He heads to the kitchen and smiles when he see’s Steve saved him a plate with the note

“Hope you find this and enjoy

-Steve”

“Thank you Steve.” He heats it in the microwave and sits down to eat it. Not after 2 bites a very sleepy Steve comes in without a shirt and his Pajama pants hanging loosely around his waste. Tony forces himself to look away.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asks taking a bite of his garlic bread.

“I asked JARVIS to inform me when you came to eat, so you weren’t alone.”

“That’s nice.” Tony looks up at Steve’s chest and after a moment his face. “Thanks for saving me a plate.”

“I figured you’d be hungry after not eating all day.” Steve says taking a seat.

“Well, I can go long periods of time without eating or sleeping, but it’s nice to be well fed. This is good.” He motions to the sauce “Is it home made?”

“No, It’s a brand but Clint and I added some spice, meatballs and sausage adding flavor.”

“Well, it’s good. I’m used to frozen shit or takeout and calling it dinner.” He takes a drink and pauses eating to think “My parents… they always hired a chef. He always made extravagant meals. It was awful. I hated it, you know? Some people love all the elegant meals but I just wanted burger and fries or pizza. And we always had to sit together for dinner I couldn’t take my pate somewhere else. And Howard was always drunk and stuff so I hated it even more. Which is why I never hired a chef or was for the whole ‘family dinner’ shit.  Well, I guess I didn’t want the family dinner one because I don’t have a family and two because of that bad experience.” Tony continues eating

“Well, we’re a family here. Right?” Steve asks taking in all this information

“Yeah maybe a dysfunctional family. But still a family. Which I’m not used too. I’ve been on my own since… well in my mind 15 but people think 19. 15 was when I graduated high school and left home and 19 was when they died. I’ve been alone for most of my life… I’m not used to having well... anyone.”

“Well, you have us now.” Tony nods and gets up to throw the few extra bites he didn’t want away.

“Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that, honestly. I mean I invited all you here to live with me, but… I didn’t plan on all this. On you.” he shakes his head. “I’m so stupid, to even be in a relationship with you.” Steve frowns

“Why?”

“Because you’re perfect, literally perfect. You don’t have one bad habit. You are a perfect sculpture of art. I’m a tiny little alcoholic stubborn genius. You do the math.” Tony looks down

“No,” Steve takes Tony’s hand “you’re a small man with a huge heart. You’re strong to overcome your alcoholic past, which you only drank because you were alone, and sad." Tony thinks not entirely true, but he'll let Steve think it "You’re stubborn but I love that about you. And you’re the smartest man probably on the planet. And…” Steve hesitates but pushed through “And I love you.” Tony’s eyes shoot to Steve’s who is looking nervous. Tony studies him for a moment without out saying a word, making sure Steve is telling the truth, out of habbit. His face blank making Steve even more nervous. After a second Tony nods and smiles “I love you too, you big dork.” And then they were kissing. Passionately, with hunger. Tony smiles into the kiss.

“Upstairs.” Steve basically lifts Tony and brings him to the awaiting elevator.  Steve’s hands grope Tony’s ass once they get to the bedroom. Steve lifts off his shirt and Tony’s goes with it. When they reclaim this kiss, Steve starts undoing his pants Tony pulls back

“Steve.” He says nervous he can’t help remember what happened… In the pit.   
“Mhmmm.” He says finding Tony’s neck

“I don’t... I don’t want to.” Steve pulls back and looks at Tony with a frown. Tony lets his hands drop.

“Can I ask why? I mean we don’t have to… but I thought you wanted to.” Tony looks down

“I did… I do, I just can’t.” Tony turns away tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong? If it’s because I’m a guy and-“

“No, it’s not you. It’s not.” Steve wraps his arms around Tony and starts kisses his neck intensely

“What’s wrong then?”

“Steve stop it.” he pushes Steve away. And Steve looks at Tony like he was burned.

“I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“I know, but I said no. I don’t want to.” Tony turns around. If he’s gonna have a relationship Steve has to know. “I don’t talk about what happened… while I was gone, but after… certain things, I just _can’t_ not yet _._ I’m sorry.” Tony looks down. And Steve frowns

“What do you mean Tony? I don’t understand.” Steve asks genuinely confused.

“I don’t want to have sex with you because I’m not ready after what happened while I was in the pit! Don’t make me fucking say it, Steve.” He looks up at Steve through blurry eyes. Steve frowns but then his eyes widen

“You mean… you were-“

“Don’t say it.” Tony turns away “If you don’t want to stay or be with me that’s fine, I understand.” Steve feels like he’s going to cry.

“Is that why all this time you kept saying to wait. It wasn’t because I wasn’t ready it’s because you weren’t?”

“Kinda, I thought if I gave it some time and was into it and you were then I’d be fine, but every second we got closer I kept getting worse. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t you dare be sorry, Tony. It’s okay. I’ve waited this long, I can wait as long as you need. We don’t have to have sex, if you don’t want. I love you, and I don’t care about sex or anything, you hear me? I love you. Are you okay?” Tony nods looking down.

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want to be done today… if you... if you want we can have another conversation tomorrow but I’m fried. And my heart is still beating too fast in my chest, which is actually nor very safe for my arc reactor.”

“Are you okay?” Steve asks again concerned

“I’m fine, I just need to relax… if you want you could… stay?” Steve gives a small smile and nods. “I threw out my nice blankets, but you could get your comforter?” Tony asks it like a question.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back.” Steve gives tony a last look before he turns out of the room. Tony immediately heads for the bathroom and takes one of his anxiety pills. He rinses his face, brushes his teeth and tries to relax. He practices his breathing until he feels better. He hears his door open and Steve calls his name.

“I’m coming.” He takes a deep breath and goes to his draws and grabs a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. He changes as Steve makes the bed. They climb in without another word and Tony quickly drifts off to sleep  after the hell of a day, while Steve worries about Tony and what happened to him while he was gone. Not before long he’s sleeping too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 in one day. Go me. Anyway, I made Steve an aritst in this chapter, cause it fit well, but don't be surprised if it's never brought up again. Sorry, it just fit that way. Anyway hope you enjoy

Previously:

They climb in without another word and Tony quickly drifts off to sleep, while Steve worries about Tony and what happened to him while he was gone. Not before long he’s sleeping too.

 ~

 

Tony wakes up in the middle of the night his heart beating out of his chest. Steve is still asleep next to him, not even moving. He slowly eases out of bed trying not to wake Steve, Steve rolls over and mumbles

“Where are you going.”

“Bathroom.” And then he’s out. Tony creeps out the door and to the elevator and his breath is getting faster. “Lab, JARVIS.”

“Yes, Sir.” The elevator takes his to the common floor where he heads to the stairs. He enters his lab and heads for the secret room he installed. It was for when he wanted to be completely alone but it turned into a safe zone. Hidden. It’s his most personal space. Where he can take comfort in being. It has pictures, memorabilia, and drawings from Steve presents he’s gotten. Stuff his team doesn’t think he cares about, but he has a little spot for everything. He heads for the chair, that has paper bags and he starts breathing into one. After a few moments he calms down and puts the bag away. He goes to the bed where he has a bunch of Avenger stuffed toys (Which are just too cute). He picks up the captain America one and laughs.

He looks over at the picture of him and Steve that someone took while they weren’t looking. How they knew it was us was unclear, because we were in out civilian clothes (Which is jeans a hoody and sunglasses. We’re pretty obvious, if you think about it.) And another of Iron man and Captain America. Then a picture perfect group shot of all of them. He turns off the lights and falls asleep in his safe room.

 

TONY’S ROOM

 Steve wakes up around 30 minutes after Tony left to go to the ‘bathroom.’

“JARVIS, Where’s Tony.”

“Sir, is currently safe.” That confuses Steve

“Well, I know he’s safe, where is he?” Steve asks sitting up

“Sir, is safe Mr. Rogers. That’s all I’m allowed to say.” JARVIS goes silent not giving any other explanation.

“Well where is he not?” he doesn’t expect an answer and he doesn’t get one. His best bet is Tony’s lab. But JARVIS said he’s safe… so should he just leave him? He feels the need to know, so he gets out of bed looking at the clock. 4 am. He turns on the lights as he makes his way to Tony’s lab. Once he gets there he sees the light off. He turns it on just to be sure, and he isn’t there.

“Alright, maybe he’s on my floor, for some strange Tony reason.” He’s not. He rechecks the common floor and his floor, and he’s not there.

“JARVIS, where the hell is Tony?”

“He’s-“

“Safe, I know. Where? Is he in the tower?” JARVIS pauses a moment to think

“Yes, sir is safe, in the tower.” He decides to check on Bruces floor, because… they’re good friends. He heads to the floor and searches.

Bruce opens his door putting on his glasses.

“Steve? What are you doing?”

“You haven’t seen Tony?” Steve asks the half asleep doctor

“No, why would I? It’s 4:30.”

“I can’t find him and all JARVIS is saying is he’s safe in the tower. He’s not in his lab, his floor, our floor, my floor or yours. What if something is wrong and Tony said that’s all JARVIS is allowed to say? What is something is seriously wrong?”

Bruce straightens up.

“Let’s find the genius where could he hide?”

 

Now it’s 5 am all the Avengers (besides tony) Are awake and worried as hell.

“Well, we could check the business floors? But I doubt he’d go there.”

“JARVIS, could you give Tony a message?” Natasha asks

“Of Course, Ms. Romanoff, what would you like me to tell him?”

“Tell him we’re really worried looking for him.”  
“I will.”

“Did you seriously spend an hour looking for him, not asking that?” Natasha glares. And Steve frowns.

The AI comes on again

“Sir, says to come to his lab.”

“but we checked 4 times.”

“Let’s just go.”

 

 

TONY

“Sir, Ms. Romanoff would like me to let you know they are worried looking for you.” Tony wakes up and sighs

“Tell em to come to my lab.”

“Of course Sir.” He unlocks the room and heads out. The door shuts and hides behind him. He rubs his eyes when the very awake avengers burst through the door.

“TONY!”

“Oh my god shhh. I just woke up. Why are you shouting, it’s too early.” Steve pulls tony in for ahug and squeezes him “Jeeze, whats’ wrong?” Tony’s brain starts functioning.

“Where the hell were you! we scowered this tower looking for you! You weren’t in here, 5 minutes ago. All JARVIS would tell us is you’re safe in the tower.” Steve shouts

“Calm down, breath. I’m sorr yfor worrying you, but that’s what I programmed him to say when I am… in my room.”

“What room tony?” Steve asks

“Fuck.” He throws his head back “You all know I made each one of you a special room? I made myself one too. And I was there.” He says as explanation.

“Well, where is it and why don’t we know about it?” Bruce asks

“Because I share everything with all of you. My home, my money, my everything. I wanted something that was _mine_ and mine only. It’s in here, a secret door that I made. Okay?”

The avengers settle down a little, but Clint speaks up “I want to see. You designed ours, let’s see yours.”

“I’d rather not.” Tony sighs

“Come on, you spent weeks tracking down a clock for me, let me see it.” Steve asks with a smile.

Tony sighs “Fine. JARVIS?” he walks over to the couch which gets’ moved over as the door slides open.

“Woah.” The avengers say in unison.  Slowly one by one they make their way inside and once they look around they smile.

They walk inside and look around. Natasha picks up the photo of all of them Bruce looks at the stuffed Toys. Clint looks at the mini Ferrari he got Tony. Thor looks at the mini Mjolnir key chain. Steve looks at all the drawings that he drew. The ones he thought he threw out and a few he gave to tony.

“Oh my god, Tony. you saved all of this?” Steve asks

“Of course I  did, I love it.”

"but i threw them out?"

"I know, but they were good, so i kept them." Steve grins at Tony

“All these pictures all the presents we got you, you kept them all here?” Natsha wonders with wide eyes

“Yeah. Once I realized you guys are all gift givers, new concept to me, I made a room specifically for it. This was originally my safe, which is why it’s kinda small for a room, but I moved that to my floor and made this a different sort of safe room.”

Clint picks up a picture of the 6 of them making ice cream. It went all over and they started throwing it at everyone. “I remember this. I don’t even recall you taking a picture.”

“You were so into it, it was so funny. I have a photo album next to the chair, if you want to go through it.” They all nod,  but keep finding little knew things.

“Hey, Steve. Come look at this.” Natasha calls Steve over. There’s a picture of Steve, a drawing actually. It’s old. Someone drew it. It’s of Steve in his captain America form, with his arm around a 9 year old Tony.

“What is this” Steve asks showing the room.

“That was something that they were doing at a um museum I think no it was a like a fair, but like for war buffs. I don’t know what it was called. Someone was doing drawings of them next to good ole captain America. I was 10. My dad talked about you all the time so of course I wanted one. My dad said no, he had to the show. He was on the stage this lady was supposed to be watching me. She was more interested in someone else, so I took off and ran back to the man who was doing them.  I didn’t have any money, but he knew who I was and said he’d do it for free. So I got it done, and hid it from my dad. I looked at that damn picture every night for years. My dad never knew I had it done. I framed it when I got older.”

“Oh my god. And right next to it, is  a picture of you in your captain America getup and regular tony.”

“I was so nervous and embarrassed to ask you for that photo. Do you remember? It was like... a month maybe after I met you. we were getting back and I had my armor off and I had Hill take the picture. She have me shit about that for months. But I wanted one next to it. the real thing.”

“Oh my god, I do remember that. I thought it was so weird, and especially coming from you, because I thought you hated me. But now knowing why. My god Tony, this place is amazing.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“And look at these! Oh my, where on earth did you get these pushes they’re so cute.” Clint says point to the stuffed avengers

“Dude, they’re literally every where.”

“Hey what’s this.” Steve asks picking up a letter.

Tony pushes over to Steve and grabs it. “That’s not for your or any of your eyes.”  
“What is it?” Tony folds it up.

“Nothing.”

“Tony.” The other avengers say in unison.

“it’s a fucking letter, alright.” Tony says sighing “From me as a child. And that’s all I’m saying. Look at anything else, this is off limits. I’m serious.” They all nod and tony slips the letter into a box.

“Oh my god, tony you saved this!?!” Steve asks shocked.

“What?” he asks looking at what Steve is holding.

“It’s the first thing I gave you. It was a joke.” It’s a captain America lunch box

“Oh yeah, I thought it was cute so.”

“Wanna look at the photo albulm?” the all agree and the team besides tony get comfy on the bed. He just looks at them ‘you shitting me’ but he joins them anyway.

They all laugh as they go through photo by photo of them that they didn’t even know was taken. One there done they’re smiling, but steve pauses

“Wait, did we see even one photo of Tony?” They all frown and shake their heads. They then look at Tony

“I don’t do photos.” He gives way of explanation

“But you’re in article and magazines all the time!”

“Yeah, but I don’t like em.” He shrugs “it’s not a big deal It’s not even a little deal.”

“Quick  someone get there phone.” Bruce pulls out his and hands it to Natasha “We’re taking a selfie with all of us.”

“Nat, we have bed head, we all look tired as fuck, maybe later.” Clint says

“No, we have to do it now. While we’re all happy. Come on scooch in.” Tony rolls his eyes as well as half the group but they do so anyway. When it comes out it’s perfect.

“we’ll get it printed tomorrow.” Natasha says grinning.

“Well I love it. this whole room is great Tony, I don’t know why you wanted to keep it a secret.”

“Cause it’s mine. This is the only time your allowed in, so take a good look… I’ll let you take out the photo album to keep in the common room, but this place, is mine.” They all sigh but nod.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Bruce says standing up. They all take one last good look at the room but head out. The door shuts and moves back in place behind them.

“A secret room, who would have thought.” They shake their heads but head their own way all who’s left is Steve and Tony.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I was worried sick when you weren’t anywhere to be found.” Steve looks at Tony.

“I know, I thought you’d sleep the night and then I’d be in my lab by then.” Tony fumbles with his hands. “I don’t want you to think that this isn’t normal for me. This is what usually happens. I don’t ever sleep the night, and I don’t stay in the same bed when I do wake up. It’s not normal, I know, but it is what it is. You can still stay, but you won’t wake up next to me.” Tony shrugs sadly. “It’s just not going to happen. I’m sorry.” Steve looks at Tony.

“You could always wake me up and talk to me about them. So you’re not alone.” Steve suggests.

“No, Steve. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to talk about them. I don’t want to think about them. I just need to calm down breath and relax. It’s what I’ve always done, and it’s what works. I’m not changing.”

“Okay, Tony you don’t have too. I just thought I could help somehow. I want to, you know?”

“I know, and you probably really liked waking up next to me every morning, but that wasn’t me Steve. It’s never going to be me.” Tony looks away.

“Hey, don’t ever compare yourself to him. I love you. I don’t care if I don’t wake up next to you, yeah, I’d like it, but it’s okay. I don’t care if you spend hours in your lab and not all your time with me. Tony, I fell in love with you. Not that fake version. Yeah, maybe he spent all his time with me, but don’t you think we’d be bored of each other after a month? We’d never last. I like when you’re in your lab and all rough and when you forgot to shave.” He chuckles.  “Yeah maybe I’d like you to being able to spend the night with me. Get a full night’s sleep, but I don’t care if you do or don’t. And you don’t and that’s okay. I just wish you would try. But it’s up to you, and I love you, not your sleeping habits, Tony.”

Tony nods pulling Steve in for a nice long kiss.

“I think I’m going to make breakfast, what do you say?”

“Just not eggs.” Tony smiles as they walk up to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow chapter 20. Damn. I don't know any specifics about the meetings i wrote about, so i just guessed. hope you enjoy.

Previously:

“Just not eggs.” Tony smiles as they walk up to the kitchen.

~

He’s been tinkering with this one project for 3 hours. He just can’t seem to get it to work. He’s tried replacing the wires, switching the mechanism, everything. The science and math says it should work, but it’s not. Frustrated Tony slumps on his stool.

“God fucking damn it. JARVIS any suggestions?” He asks of hope, of course he knows the answer

“Unfortunately no, Sir.” He goes back to the hologram and see’s if he made a calculation error. After looking detail through detail, for the second time, he still see’s no mistake.

“Is there any problem with my math, J?” he can catch simple mistakes

“It does not appear so, Sir.” He goes back to the stool. He puts his head in his hands.

“Mr. Rogers is at the door.” JARVIS tells him

“Tell him to go away. I’m not in the mood, I’m not hungry, and I want to be left alone.” He takes a deep breath.

“Mr. Rogers is insisting saying it’s important.”  
“Let him in.” Tony all but growls

The door open and a smiling Steve comes though the door.

“What?” Tony asks viscously turning around making Steve’s smile drop. “What is so important that you have to interrupt me, when I clearly said I don’t want to be bothered? I’m busy.” Steve looks hurt, but Tony’s too uptight to care.

“Tony, I’m sorry, but we made dinner-“

“I don’t care about dinner Steve.” Tony shouts. Turning around.

“Tony, what’s wrong?” Steve asks concerned taking a step towards Tony

“I can’t get it to work. I’ve been trying for _hours_ Steve. The math and science says it’s all good, it’ll work, but I can’t get it too.” Tony slams his hand down on the consol. Steve walks all the way to Tony and wraps his arms around him, Tony tense.

“I’m sure it’ll work out, you just need to take a break, eat something, sleep and come back with a fresh mind.”

“Oh god.” Tony pushes away from Steve. “That’s what my mom would tell Howard before he would get really mad… I’m turning into him.” Steve takes a step forward and tony takes a step back shaking his head. “This is how it all started for him. His projects weren’t working, his wife, was just trying to help and he hated that. And right now, I don’t like that your trying to help, I should be able to do it on my own. Like he thought.”

“Tony, you’re not your father. You’re so different. You are nothing like him.” Tony shakes his head tears in his eyes.

“No, I’m exactly like him. Drinking problem, angry issues. Was once a hero and then turned into… a monster.”

“You’re a hero now, Tony. And you are working on your drinking problem.” Steve takes a step closer.

“Steve, I need you to leave.” Steve is about to protest “I’m not gonna do anything, I just… need to be alone right now. I’m sorry. I’ll be okay in like an hour. Maybe we can push dinner off until then, I just need some time, okay?” When Steve looks like he wants to argue tony adds “Please.” Steve frowns and nods.

“We can wait an hour. But that’s it one hour. Then we’re talking.” Tony nods and after a second Steve leaves. Once he’s gone he runs to his computer searches and leaves.

“If I’m not home in an hour, J, stall for me. Tell them I’m sleeping or something, just give me more time. Okay?”

“Yes, Sir.” Great He grabs his keys and takes the elevator down. After putting on his civilian clothes.

 ~

It’s at a church, which is new for Tony, but he’s not there to pray. He see’s other people enter and after a deep breath he heads in too. He sees the coffee and cookies in the corner and goes a grabs a cup. He sits in the circle like everyone else. After drinking it all he ends up holding the cup. He can’t help but tap his foot and he looks around nervous at everyone else mingling. A women sits down next to him.

“I’m Sara.” She puts her hand out.

“Uh… Tony.” he takes her hand.

“First time here?” She asks

“Uh, yeah.”

“Well, we’re glad you are.” She smiles at him and turns towards the group “Alright everyone, let’s get started.” Once everyone sits down she continues “I’ll start because I see we have a new face. I’m Sara and I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi Sara.” The whole group says and Tony mumbles.

“I’ve been sober 3 years now. 3 years and 2 months tomorrow. It was horrible, at first, having the addiction. But it’s been over 3 years and I can say I’ve never been happier. I started drinking when I was 15. My parents were gone a lot, they had a wine cabinet, with more than just wine. I knew the passcode. I would drink only a little at first, just to get a taste, but soon it became a problem. I was 17. I was drinking every night. My parents kept changing the code, but I kept figuring it out. The eventually got rid of all of it, to help me. But I went other places to find it. I used all my saved money, sold all my jewelry, stole things. Eventually when that wasn’t enough, I sold myself just to get a 6 pack or a couple of shots. When I was 19, I was arrested. They let me go with a warning. After 2 months I was arrested again. They decided it was rehab or jail. I went to rehab and got out 2 months later. I relapsed 1 month later and was back they gave me one more shot, before jail. I was out 3 months, and been clean since. Now, 22 I can legally by alcohol, but I haven’t once.” She smiles

“Thank you Sara.”

“Who wants to go next?” After a few people Tony starts to ease up. People with similar problems.

“Thank you Elise. Tony? Would you like to speak?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He says pulling his hoody down.

“It’s all confidential.” They obviously know who he is.

“If so much as a peep of this gets out, you’ll all have a lawsuit on your hands.” He threatens

“Don’t worry, Tony. We’re all in the same boat.” He takes off his sunglasses and pulls back his hood. No one whispers much to his shock

“I start it like…?” Sara nods “I’m Tony and I’m an alcoholic.”

“Hi Tony.” he shakes his head.

“I’ve never been to one of these before, but… I figured other people claim they help so… what have I got to loose. Uh… my, my dad drank. Almost no one knows that. So I was always used to the concept of alcohol I saw first-hand at what it can do to people.” He takes a deep breath. “I always told myself I’d never be like him. I wouldn’t drink, I wouldn’t bury myself in my work, that all went out the window. You all know I went to college at MIT at 15. That’s when I had my first drink. I loved it, but I was scared of it at the same time.”

He shakes his head. “I graduated at 17, and sometimes had a drink, not a lot. But I did. It got worse when my parents and Jarvis died. I was 19, and I drank nearly all of the whiskey my dad used to drink. It got worse from there, as you all probably know. But then, it got better. It did, but then I got kidnapped, in Afghanistan.” He takes a deep breath shaking from memories. “You can’t imagine, what is was like. A lot of shit happened, that I still can’t talk about. I watched people die.” He shakes his head everyone all enwrapped

“So I was drinking again. It wasn’t too bad, I had it under control. But then the battle of New York. You all know what happened, but it’s different fighting in it. Almost dying. What happened to me, was different. I took the missile into the realm and what I saw. I can’t even begin to tell you. I was in another universe. It was so… cold and dark, and I was alone. You can’t even imagine.” he wipes his tear.

“So I would go on benders, trying to forget. But then Steve Roger, Captain fucking America, wanted to help me. Along with the whole team. But they didn’t have any idea, what it was like for me. They didn’t realize, what I went through and why I drank. They decided to take it all away, which yeah, worked for a while, but I then i had a really bad day. You can’t even think of what it’s like being an Avenger, while owning a company. The pressure, is ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, it’s the most amazing this ever. But it’s what happens behind the scenes that you guys don’t see. It’s not easy. Always on call waiting for the next anything to come. I feel like paranoia comes somewhat into play.  But I can handle it. but it was the one day, where I went a drank and drank. And of course Bruce found in my lab drunk and I had hurt myself and I was bleeding and it was terrible. But the Avengers, didn’t ask me _why._ What made me drink this time. Relapse. You know?”

They nod. “They just made me promise to stop. And I did. But today, tonight. One of the projects I’m working on, I just can’t figure it out. Something isn’t adding up, and I can’t figure it out, and it made me mad. Steve comes at the worst possible time so I get mad. But it’s something he says, that made me think of how that’s what my mom said to my dad before… things got worse. And I freaked. I made him leave and I decided to come here. I don’t want to drink like him, and I’m scared I’m already turning into what he did. And I don’t want to. I can’t.”

“Thank you, Tony.” they all say

“If I may add some advice?” Sara asks and Tony nods. “The Avengers, seem to really care about you. Talk to them, tell them what you told us. Help them understand. People don’t really get it, unless they’ve been there themselves. They can have empathy, but they don’t have that personal experience. You have to help them be able to help.” She smiles at him “And we all know the rules of AA even though we all know who this is, this information doesn’t go home with any of you.” they all nod. “Alright, who is next?”

Once the meeting is over Sara pulls Tony to the side.

“It was really brave of you coming here tonight. Braver then ordinary people because everyone knows you. If you want, we could find you a sponsor?” Sara offers

“I don’t know.” Tony says shifting

“It can help think about it.”

“I’ll do it if you’re it, my sponsor.” Tony asks with nervous eyes.

“Umm, yeah. I will.” Sara nods. “Here’s my number.” They exchange. “And we’ll plan another meeting to go to, maybe we can stick to this one, since they took you coming here so well? Most of these people are regulars. A few from other meetings.”

“Yeah, that’s good. Thank you.”

“If you want to talk, about what happened while you were…” She doesn’t finish

“Kidnapped.” Tony fills in

“Yeah, sorry. Um, text me and we can meet for coffee.”

“I will. I’ll get in touch tomorrow or the next day, I’m pretty busy and don’t be upset if I have to cancel, a lot of stuff some up in my life, but I will try and make these meetings. Thank you.”

“No problem tony. And from what I can tell, you’re nothing like your dad.” He smiles and heads for his car feeling like things are looking up.

 

AVENGERS TOWER

“It’s been an hour, should we go get him?” Natahsa says looking at the clock.

“JARVIS tell Tony he has 5 minutes before we’re knocking down that door.”

“Sir, is on his way up.”

“Awesome.”

 

Tony is riding in the elevator his sunglasses in his hands smiling. The door opens and he starts taking off his hoody.

“Tony?”

“Hey guys.” He say smiling.  
“We’re you… out?” he nods

“Yeah, just… get some perspective on a few things.”

“Did you... were you drinking?” Bruce is the one to ask it. Tony actually laughs

“No, I haven’t. I’m just happy. I heard you guys made dinner?” he asks smiling

“Um yeah. Yeah. We made-“ And Steve moves out of the way so Tony can see the array of food.

“Oh my, you made my stuffed chicken, AND Steve you made your cake. Oh my god, I didn’t thin Today could get any better. Thanks guys. Sorry I kept you all waiting.”

“It’s all good, rather wait an hour and you be all happy, then you being grumpy during it. And this is sorta an apology, for everything that’s happened.” Steve explains.

“Don’t worry about that, any more. We’re good.” He smiles and they all relax. “Let’s eat. See how good you did.” They all laugh and grab a plate. Once they’re all sitting around the table tony takes his first bite. He chews it thoughtfully.

“It’s good. It’s really good. Thanks guys.” They all smile and take a bite.

“So Tony, where did you go, earlier?” Steve wonders

“I… I went to a meeting.” Tony says taking a sip of water.  
“What kind of meeting?” Natasha asks

“I went to an AA meeting.” He says somewhat embarrassed.

“oh.” They all collectively say at once.

“That’s great Tony.” Steve says first “it looks like it helped.”

“I uh it did, I got a sponsor and everything. So… yeah.” He smiles into this glass

“Well, I’m really proud of you.” Steve squeezes Tony’s arm

“Didn’t they recognize you?” Clint asks

“Yeah, they did, but they were actually pretty cool about it. I did threaten them with a lawsuit first but. They were cool.” He takes a bite of his corn bread.

“So who’s your sponsor?”

“Just a women, name Sara. She ran the meeting. She seems nice. Like she genuinely wants to help.”

“That’s great. We’re all so happy.”

“Yeah, me too.” The conversation turns after that, but Tony kept smiling the whole meal.

 

After dinner they all clean up.

“Let’s have the cake in a little bit, I’m stuffed.” They all agree.

“I want to talk to Tony, if that’s alright. Then maybe we could watch a movie?”

“Sure.” They all agree.

“I’m picking!” Tony shouts as he exits the room with Steve he hears clint protest.

“Sorry, Steve. for what happened earlier. I was under a lot of stress and pressure, and I got mad at you.”

“Hey it’s okay Tony. I’m glad you went to get help, I’m insanely proud and in love with you that I can’t even think straight. I would love to meet Sara.”

“yeah, that’s fine, I would like to talk to her alone for a little while first. But I’m not like keeping her a secret or anything. Don’t worry.”

“I know, I’m not.” He smiles.

“What was it like? An AA meeting.”

“Like you see on TV, but… it’s… I can’t really explain it. It’s just talking to someone who’s been there, in that situation that craving. I don’t know. I love talking to you and I love that all of you want to help, but like… it’s different talking to them then to you. It’s not your fault or anything, they just relate better.”

“I understand, Tony. Don’t worry about how I feel about it. If it helps it helps. I can see not being able to relate. Like you wouldn’t be able to relate to me being frozen for 70 years.”

“I don’t think anyone can relate to that, but I see your point. Thanks Steve. I love you.”

“I love you too.” They kiss and head out.

“We’re watching drum roll please… Die Hard!”

“Again?” Natasha ask Clint nods with the decision everyone else sighs

“Yes again. Jarvis?” JARVIS plays the movie and Tony sits next to Steve his head resting on Steve’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys want me to keep updating a lot with small pieces of writing or write longer pieces and less frequent? Also i'm not sure how i feel about the (Not so) sex scene with Steve and Tony. I don't know if i should change it. What do you guys think? Let me know and hope you enjoy.

Previously:

“Yes again. Jarvis?” JARVIS plays the movie and Tony sits next to Steve his head resting on Steve’s chest.

 

 

Things we’re going to well. What’s they say about savoring the moment? Do it because it doesn’t last? Well, that’s exactly what Tony should have done. The movie is over, half the avengers are asleep, everyone but Tony Clint and Steve. Tony is tired, but he doesn’t fall asleep in front of people, that’s a thing.

Slowly the team starts waking up, realizing the movie is over.

“I’m going to bed.” Bruce says stretching,

“Me too.” Everyone, but Tony says. Once the team evacuates the floor, only Tony and Steve are left.

“I need to get some work done. I’ll meet you upstairs in a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asks walking over to Tony.

“I’m sure. Now that I have eaten and taken a break, I think I know where my mistake is. I’ll be up soon.”

“Alrght, I’ll wait up for you.”

“Don’t. it’s already 11, and I have no idea when I’ll be up.” Tony kisses Steve and heads for his lab.

When he got down that’s when it all went to shit. The door opens just as he felt that pain in his head. And really, it shouldn’t have surprised him, it’s been a few weeks since his last vision.

 

~

_“Steve?” tony asks entering the common area, which is eerily dark “Natasha? Clint?” He takes out his phone for the flashlight wondering why the lights aren’t automatically coming on “Thor? Bruce?” No answer. “JARVIS, where is everyone?” The ceiling is eerily and usually quiet “JARVIS?” Tony slowly enters the kitchen. He rounds it with his fist ready. And nothing is there._

_“Where is everyone?” He lowers his hands “What the hell is going on?” He looks at the clock on the stove. 12:03. “Okay, they could be on their own floors… but why are the lights off and what happened to JARVIS.” He goes to the corner and grabs a kitchen knife, better to protect himself with something other than his fists._

_He heads for the living room, where he sees empty bowls, half drunken cup, and half eaten cake lying around._

_“What the hell.” Tony tries to calm his mind. He can’t panic. Not now. He needs to be level headed. He takes a deep breath and keeps heading away from the kitchen._

_He hears the elevator sing, he elevator door opens and he sees a blurry figure. He hears two distinctive gun and-_

_~_

He wakes up on the floor covered in sweat a feeling in his gut. He hears JARVIS calling him.

“Mr. Rogers, is on his way. Sir.” JARVIS informs.

“Well, that’s just great. This is all just fan-fucking-tastic.” Steve comes running down the stairs

“Are you alright, what happened, where are you hurt?” Steve runs his hands along Tony’s body

“I’m fine, Steve. Really.” He says pushing Steve’s hands off him’

“JARVIS said you fell, and we’re not responding.”

“Yeah, that happened.” Tony’s not sure why he’s not telling Steve about his vision, he just wants to think it over first. “I tripped, but I’m a-okay. I promise.”

“Did you hit your head? Why weren’t you responding?” Steve leans back

“Dude, I had an oh-shit moment and didn’t even hear JARVIS. I’m fine, I didn’t hit my head. Go to bed, I’ll be up soon.” Steve nods.

“Alright, but if you feel at all faint-“

“I’ll come ah-running. Go. I have work to do.” Tony pushes Steve up

“Alright.” And after another second of worry, Steve is leaving.

 

“Okay.” He says to himself “Can we figure out a date?” he thinks back

“there was cake. So it had to be someone’s birthday. Steve is July 4th, of course.” Tony shakes his head “Which means it’s not his party because it’s august. My birthday is may 29th so no.” Tony vaguely wodners why he did Steve first, but pushes it from his mind. “Clint is June 18th. Thor is April 25th. Bruce of course is December 18th. Natasha is November 22nd. Natasha’s birthday is still far away so maybe its not a birthday?” He taps his finger “Why would we party… what happened in the world in the next month.” Tony sighs and leans back “It’s no one’s birthday none of us are married. It’s not a death date, which why would he have cake if it were. Howard’s birthday is in 3 days… but I don’t see myself celebrating. More like wanting to drink… but that’s another thing to worry about later. Mom was born November 3rd… but still far away and I wouldn’t be having cake.” Tony opens his secret room and goes inside.

“Things coming up in the next week. Nothing personal… so let’s go bigger. September 11th. Not a cake day. Seriously.” Tony feels like he should be concerned talking to himself, but he doesn’t care. “Wait… when did Steve win the war?” Tony wracks his brain. “It was September. Fuck Howard told me this all the time. September…3rd! No second. Yeah September 2nd. Okay, that’s 2 and half weeks away. Alright that makes sense. No party.” Ugh Tony decides he’s had a long enough night. He makes his way upstairs. First he goes into the kitchen and tosses the uneaten cake in the garbage.(He has a few bites because it shouldn’t all go waste.) He’s not taking any chances. He heads up and climbs in bed with Steve.

“Figure it out?” Steve asks sleepily.

“I think I might have.” Tony replies. Just not to what Steve thinks. “I really hope I have.” Steve rolls over and wraps his arms around Tony.

 

Steve wakes up alone. Of course, he wishes he were here, but it’s not surprising. What is surprising is finding Tony in the kitchen cooking.

“What are you making?”

“Bacon and French toast. And coffee. Lots of coffee.”

“Smells good.” Steve smiles. He looks around and notices his cake is gone. “Hey, where’d my cake go?”

“Um… I have no idea. No idea at all.” Tony takes the bacon out of the pan and puts more in.

“Tony, what happened to the cake?” Steve ask getting closer.  
“I threw it in the garbage.” Tony says not wanting to lie.

“What the heck? I spent a while baking it and you just threw it out?”

“Yes but-“

“No Tony, that was really rude of you. Everyone wanted it-“tony fumes and turns around.

“I had another vision!” he shouts at Steve who goes silent.

“You did? I thought they were gone?”

“Nope, they’re here to stay.”

“So this vision? Had to do with cake? My cake?” Steve asks sitting down

“Well, there was cake there so… I threw it out. Just to be safe.”

“Um… what happened during this vision?” he asks as Clint and Natasha enter the room

“You had a vision?” Clint asks stealing a piece of bacon.

“Yes, I did. And why don’t wee wait for everyone so I don’t have to say it more then once.” They nod and within a few minutes everyone is there.

“Okay, well… my vision was weird. Weird then most. Um I was coming in here to look for you guys or something, but you couldn’t be found. The lights were out and not turning on and JARVIS wasn’t answering. So I was walking in here alone in the dark, when I see plates and bowls and cups, like we had a party. I came into this room to search and all of a sudden the elevator opened and I heard 2 gunshots. It cut off after that.”

“Did you get shot?” Steve asks worried.

“I don’t know.”

“Who was shooting?” Natasha asks

“I don’t know.” He repeat

“Where we’re we?” Clint asks

“I don’t know.” Tony says annoyed

“What about-“

“I told you everything I know. That’s it. SO from now on we don’t have parties. Or cake. We clear?”

They all nod but Thor.

“Prophecies like this cannot be stopped. We must have the parties we’re going to. You cannot avoid them. We could not last time and we will not this time. What ever happens in your visions will come true.” Thor says

“Well what’s the point of having them if you can’t fucking stop them?! This is bullshit. Bullshit.” Tony shakes his head.

“Well, we can try can’t we?” Clint asks

“Wait, what about the prophecy about me?” Tony says “remember you said it to us a few weeks ago?”

“Yes, what about it?” Thor says

“Maybe this is how I die? I die as a hero but be remembered as a villain? Did everyone forget this?”

“Umm.” The avengers say but Thor.    
“Okay, we don’t know that could be years from now. Right? we have no idea.” Steve say worried.

“Okay, that could be but I have a feeling it’s soon. Very soon.”  Tony sighs

“Thor?”

“There was no time frame. We all thought it was just a wives tale… something you told your children. So it very well could be soon… but it could also be never, honestly. Growing up we are told many different prophecies. Some indeed have come true, as our history has told us… while some… have fallen short. For example it was foretold that the frost giants would take someone from us and win the war. Yes, they took Loki, but they lost. It’s all… what do you midgards says? Circumstantial?”

“Yeah, but that to me means that I will die, but I may die as a hero and be remembered as a hero. But I still will die. That seems to be the major point.”

“But the major point is winning the war, not corrupting my brother. And yet only part came true the lesser half or the prophecy.” Thor says

“How did these prophecies come to be anyway?”

“Well back when we were on earth before we went away, there were these 3 profits. Who’s only purpose was too foresee the future. Some would laugh and say that they were just… high. On drugs but others who believed wrote them all down. They had information. Information no human should have. Like the frost giants. How would they know? We gave them knowledge about our world, but… we didn’t say anything of such. But we knew, so we took down all they foretold. And some have come true, and some have not. They have always been right about some part of the prophecy at the least. There is a chance, you will live, my friend. We just have to make sure it.”

“What’s the difference between my prophecies and there’s? Why are mine different and unstoppable?”

“Because yours hold the immediate future. There was time for things to change. There was hundreds of years for the frost giants to become all powerful, but that did not happen. You have mere weeks. Life cannot change that quickly. What you see is what will happen.”

“This is stupid. I hate this. Someone is getting shot, and someone will die.”

“Wait, how do you know someone will die? You just heard gunshots.” Natahsa points out.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Steve says as they all turn to Tony.

“It’s just this feeling, this pain, in my gut, when I woke up.”

“It could just be a feeling…?” Clint suggests

“Or maybe you were the one who got shot, and that’s what you felt?” Natasha suggests.

“I’m like almost positive I’m the one who got shot. No one else is around. Just me and a gunman.” Tony shrugs “Who else would it be?”

“Well, were not having a party, no matter what Thor says.” Steve says and the avengers agree, but Thor who just shakes his head.

“Trying to stop it, is what can cause it.” Thor says but they’re not listening anyway.

“Okay, so, what’s coming up that we might celebrate?” They go through a list of possible ideas and eventually come up with none. They decided to eat breakfast and think later. All nervous about what their fellow teammate saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I noticed i didn't have a lot of Bruce in the story and i really like him so I tried adding more, and i'm going to be putting him in more. Hope you enjoy

Previously :

“Okay, so, what’s coming up that we might celebrate?” They go through a list of possible ideas and eventually come up with none. They decided to eat breakfast and think later. All nervous about what their fellow teammate saw.

 

It’s actually the next day before anything major happens. They get a call from Fury about a small mission.

“Small missions are for agents, not avengers.” Clint complains

“Aren’t you an agent, Clint?” Tony asks

“… Yeah, but that’s not the point!” well, they suit up and are in Furys conference room within the hour.

 

“Alright, this mission should only take a day two at most. We have a person, a former agent, who has stolen some high value items. And we need the back.”

“What kind of item?” Steve takes the lead.

“Wait, let me guess.” Tony interrupts with flare “Alien items!” Fury glares at Tony who just raises an eyebrow.

“Stark, is correct.” Sending the Avengers into a fit.

“What the hell?” Tony says “I thought we were done with all that, you know after all that’s happened.” Fury glares and makes the team shut up

“We were done, but this rogue agent went into storage and stole a few things. We were not messing with them we had them secure. He was a high level operative, alright?” he give tony a pointed look and continues. “What we don’t think he knows is we have a tracker on every item just in case something like this were to happen. So we have a location, but with alien weaponry in play, we need our best.”

“Okay.” Steve takes control. “Where-“

“I have a question.” Tony interrupts Steve who gives him an exasperated look. He adds "respectively."

“What?”

“What kind of weapons are we talking about? Bombs? Guns? Lasers? _Nukes_? We need to know.” Tony says and the team nods along “We need to know exactly what was stolen so we know what we’re up against. You can’t have us going into this mission blind.” Fury sighs  
“We have 2 laser guns, from the Chitauri. We have an element gun, which is basically a gun that uses any element, air, water, earth and fire.”

“Cool.” Tony breaths and everyone gives him a look “What?! It is cool.” He says with a glare.

“Anyway, a small but powerful staff, and a bomb, that can take a whole buidling down. it's small.”

“Loki's staff?” Clint asks

“No, it’s like it, but it cannot do mind control. You can zap people with it and they can become immobile. But the effect lasts only an hour. But it is costly in a fight, so be careful. All these have trackers, which was not knowledge to anyone but me and those who put them there. So, the location is just south of the city. I’ll let you take it from here.”

They make a game play and they decide they’ll scout it out and see how many people are in there. Find the weapons and then head in.

 

“okay.” Tony says flying around looking through heat signatures “There are 10 people on the inside. 2 on the entrance, 2 on something that appears to be a door 3 after that 3 surrounding the weapons. Then on the outside you have snipers on two roofs, I’ll get those, 3 pairs of people walking the perimeter.”

“Alright,” Steve starts “Tony you get the snipers.” Tony heads up to the firs sniper and takes him out. "Natasha will take a pair, I will take a pair and Thor will take a pair.” Tony takes the second sniper out. “Clint I want you to get the two on the entrance from a distance so no fighting is heard on the inside. Bruce, i don't think is Code Green so stay in the jet. Then Natasha, Clint and I will enter. Thor you’ll be right in after us to be ready to fight if they’re altered plus, you need to look at the weapons, make sure they’re safe for us. Tony I want you to stay outside and make sure no one gets out.”

“Are you serious?” Tony asks “I could literally take everyone on the inside out in 3 seconds flat.”

 “Stick to the plan Tony.” Steve says in his captain voice.

“Fine. Fine.” Tony mumble idiot.

“Alright, tony you’re up first.”

“Oh they’re already taken care of. While you were planning I took them out.”

Steve sighs “Alright now we go.” They get into position Tony watches from the air as silently his team members disarm and take down the pairs.

“Done.” Natasha says first.

“Mine too.” Thor says

“Alright, mine are down. Clint?” He see’s clint fires two arrows and the guards are down.

“They’re down.” Alright meet at the south side of the entrance. Through his heat signarutes he sees an arm go to a shoulder. A head tilt and his arm back to the shoulder. Oh no. he call out to the other people

“Um guys, you have a problem. They know something is wrong.”

“How?”

“They’re on there way there 6, 3 seconds from the door, with… shit. They’re there.” The team, minus tony, takes them out after a moment. Tony sees a man sitting down… his hans look bound. And his feet are off the ground. He keeps looking over almost nervous. They’re half way through the door when tony figures it out.

“STOP!” Tony shouts.  “Stop! Don’t go in!”

“What?” Steve asks as the team comes to a halt.

“It’s rigged. The whole place is rigged to blow. Get out.” The whole team turns and runs away. Tony flies down. “I don’t’ know how long it’s got, my guess is if someone doesn’t reset it, it blows. But they had a prisoner inside. I’m going to get him.” Tony fills in.  
“We can’t risk it. What if it’s in 30 seconds?” Steve says

“we can’t just leave him to die, Steve. He’s a prisoner.” Some memories of his might come into play. “I’ll be in and out. Okay? It’ll take me 2 minutes. I doubt they have it to blow every 3 minutes. I have time. I’m going.”

“Tony-“

“I’m going.” And then he’s in.

“Tony!” He inside in the room in seconds.

he puts the faceplate up swears for a second he sees yinsen he shakes his head and takes the tape off the man’s face.

“I need you to focus, wheres the bomb how much time do we have?” the man sitting there shakes his head. “What? What does that mean.” He turns his head. 1 minute and 30 seconds. “I’m gonna get you out. Just stay calm.” Tony goes closer.

“My seat. It’s rigged. I can’t get up. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to die.” The man is hysteric

“Shit, alright. I won’t.” he puts his helmet down “J, any suggestions?”

“You could shift the weight. Put something on as you push him off.”

“Okay.” He pull his helmet off. He looks at the clock. 1 minute 4 seconds

“Alright. I’m getting you out. Hold on.” He walks behind the man and cuts his tape. He goes and garbs a bag full of guns.

“Alright.You’re going to slide right as I push this on. Carefully, but as quick as possible, understand?” He nods 42 seconds. He walks over to the guy and starts the menuver. Slowly he gets up and he braces himself. Nothing. 10 seconds. He puts his helmet down. Grabs the man and blasts through the wall. He hightails it out of there, just as the timer beeps.

“TONY? TONY?” He hears through his comm the building is blowing up but he just takes the man back around.

“Oh thank god.” He hears when they see him. He puts him down and lifts his helmet

“I think I burned the back of my suit.” Steve pulls Tony in for a long hug, which is awkward but nice.

“Don’t you dare do that again okay?” Steve asks looking Tony in the eye. Tony shake his head.

“I always will, but we’ll talk later.” He gives Steve a look.

“you are?” Natasha asks turning to the man.

“Joseph.”

“And how you are related in all of this?” Clint asks

“I uh, um…” he can’t formutale a response.

“he’s the fucking agent.” Tony realizes. “You gotta be shitting me. You stole the weapons, didn’t you?” The avengers turn to him.

“Fuck.” And after that tony punches him. When he falls Tony turns away.

“Get him on the jet.” Steve says walking to Tony.

“That little fucker. Don’t leave me I don’t want to die. What a piece of shit. I’m going back, I can’t sit with him.”

“We have to be debriefed.” Steve says softly

“Fine, I’ll go to Fury.” Tony’s gone.  
“J, turn off my comm, but monitor it.”

“Yes, sir.” He heads to HQ and waits in the room. He has about 10 minutes before they get here so he pulls out his phone to check emails. Yes, he keeps a spot for his phone. Nothing unsual business like usual not before long his team is in.

“What’d you do with the bastard.”

“Gave him to Hill.” He nods as Fury comes inside to debrief. It goes as normal what happened? What went down exactly good job. You can go. After what felt like hours, they’re on their way home. Tony first back, as usual.

He goes to work, he figured out the problem yesterday, so he’s moving on. He hears JARVIS inform them that they’re back. They know where he is. After probably an hour Steve knocks on the door.

“Let him in.”

“Hey, I just figured you had some cool down time we can discuss what you said earlier. How you’d do it again?” Steve asks sitting on the couch

“Even if it was scum like him, I’d do it again Steve. And there’s nothing you can say or do to change that.” He across form him on the table

“I mean, I get it. You want to save people, but what’s the risk worth? What if you had 5 seconds less, 10? 30? Tony when is the point do you say, ‘I can’t save him’ and you don’t try?”

“There is no point Steve!” Tony stands up and starts pacing “You don’t get it. you think you get it, but you don’t. okay? I’m going to try and save everyone because the deserve it!”

“If you had known. If you had known it was the agent would you have gone in knowing the risks?” Steve asks standing up.

“Yes. I would have.” Tony say honestly

“Why? Why?! You say I don’t get it, so explain it to me.” Steve puts his hand on tony “Make me understand.”

“Because he did it to save me.” Tony says sitting down. “He knew he was going to die. He wanted to, but he chose to save me. What made me worthy of saving? Nothing. If one of us deserved to die that day it was me. But he saved _me_.” Tony puts his head in his hands

“You mean in Afghanistan?” Steve asks Tony nods.

“Yinsen saved me. For whatever reason, he wanted me to live. So I have to try to save other people.”

“But if he wanted you to live, he wouldn’t want you to risk your life or die for someone else.” Tony stands up angry

“You didn’t know him.” Tony says through gritted teeth. “Don’t talk like you knew him. Knew what he’d want.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” Steve stands back up “I’m sorry.”

“You know what he’d want? Me to save as many people as possible like he did for me! He’s want me to be a hero. Or die trying.”

“Okay, I understand that, but I don’t want you to die. Or die trying. He’s already gone, so he doesn’t have to go through loosing you. Next time can we talk about it first?” Steve tries.

“If we had talked about it any longer, I would have died. I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking. I love you.”

“Love you too. I just want to eat and go to bed. It’s already 9. With a day like that?”

“Bruce ordered a pizza. It’ll be here soon.” Tony nods.

By 11 o’clock everyone is in bed sleeping.

 

 

Tony wakes up at around 5. This nightmare is different. It’s one from his childhood. He wipes the tear and gets out of bed, to head to his room. Steve rolls over and tony decides it’s not even worth it. he heads straight for the coffee machine. He sits perched on the stool holding the mug staring at the darkness and then the sunrise, but not even seeing it. he’s just holding his mug staring at nothing.

“tony?” Steve asks and Tony gasps and drops his nearly full mug shattering into a hundred pieces.

“Shit.” Tony says shaking his head. “I didn’t even hear you.” he goes and gets the sweeper and they clean it up in minutes.

“How long we’re you sitting there?” tony looks at the clock 7:03

“2 hours.”

“Are you alright?” Steve asks making a new pot of coffee.

“Mhmm.” Tony says leaning back.

“Why were you sitting here?”

“I was just thinking.” Tony replies

“Thinking about...?” Steve asks

“Howard.” Tony shrugs

“Why are you doing that?” Steve asks

“Just the kind of day you think about him.” Tony says sighing “You know, birthdays weren’t celebrated in my house. Jarvis would get me something, but never my parents. My parents didn’t celebrate their birthday either so I don’t know why I’m feeling… whatever this emotion is, but…” Tony shrugs. “I guess you never really forget.”

“It’s Howard’s birthday?” Steve asks to fill in the blanks.

“August 15th 1917\. I always wondered why he had me. He was 53 he could be just fine without me. But I think he just wanted someone named Stark to own the company.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Steve says sounding not so sure

“Yeah, well… you didn’t know him like I did.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve says not knowing what else too.

“Don’t be.” Tony sits up and grabs a cup of coffee.

“Do you want to visit his grave or something? We could go together.” Steve offers

“No.” tony shakes his head. “I don’t. If you want to go I’ll tell you where it is… but I haven’t visited since the funeral and I don’t plan on ever going.”

“Um… I’ll ask JARVIS if I decide I do.” Steve says not sure if he wants too because of what he heard from Tony.

“I’m going to go to work. I need to get a few things done.” He heads down unusually quiet. He got a text from Sara yesterday, and he hadn’t had time to answer, so he decideds to text her back

‘Sorry, Avenger stuff came up. What’s up?’ he starts tinker on his project and gets a text surprising for 7 am

‘Wanted to know if you wanted to get coffee. I’m free at 2?’

‘I guess, I’m not in the talking mood though.’

‘let’s see if I can change that ;)’

“Did she just give me a winky face? She really gave me a winky face. That’s not good.” Tony shakes his head.

‘I do think we need to set some things straight. I can do 2.’ He replies back

‘Okay.’

“JARVIS, send Steve down here.”

“yes, sir.”

A few moments later Steve comes down the stairs.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t feel like working, but I don’t know what to do with myself if I don’t. this has never happened before.” Tony says sitting down.

“Well, we could watch TV?”

“That’s so… boring and unproductive. What would we watch?”

“I don’t know, I usually read.”

“What a bunch of losers. I’m a workaholic and you’re a bookworm. Let’s go for a walk.”

“Where?” Steve asks

“Central park. I don’t mind a little attention.” Tony suggests

“Sure that’s fine.” We head down and I get Happy to drive us, not wanting to park a car. We head to central park where we already get looks.

A kid about 7 walks up to us really nervous. Steve is about to talk but Tony squats down

“Hey, buddy. What’s your name?”

“John.” He says with a nervous smile.

“Well, you can call me Tony, and him Steve.” How also crouches to eye level.

“Hi Tony, Hi Steve.” He says with a big nerovous smile

“Would you like a picture?” Steve asks the boy then looks at the mom. The boy nods really happily.

“Alright come right in-between us.” He comes and Tony and Steve warp his arm around him and his mom takes the picture.

“Thank you! You guys are awesome.”

“You’re welcome and you’re awesome too.” Steve laughs and stands up. The boy gives one last look and runs to his mom to see the picture. They laugh and Steve and Tony walk away

“It’s gonna be like that the whole walk.” Steve says

“Yeah, but come on, you had to love how we made that kid really happy.”

“yeah, I did.” They talk a little between a lot of people wanting pictures. Which they say yes. Tony even winks to a women making her swoon like a teenager. All in all when they’re back by 12 they had a great time. "We made like 50 different kids happy. Like that has to be a win.”

“Yeah, that’s totally a win.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” Steve smiles “What do you want to do now, Lunch?” Steve suggest and Tony nods.

They head upstairs and see the team eating too.

“hey, where have you guys been?” Natasha asks

“We made some kids very happy.” Tony smiles

“We took a walk at Central Park and took pictures with some kids.” Steve fills in.

“That’s great.” Natasha says

“yeah.” Tony heads for the coffee maker while Steve heads to make a sandwich.

 

The next hour goes by and soon Tony is on his way to meet Sara. She’s already there when Tony pulls in, and she goes for a hug, but Tony backs up.

“I think we need to talk.” Sara frowns and nods

After they order coffee and a few people ask for pictures, (not many because Tony choose this coffee shop for a reason) they sit down. Tony starts right away

“Look Sara, if I gave you any impression that I wanted to date or hook up with you I’m sorry. I don’t want to, and I’m in a serious relationship, at the moment. You seem like a great women, I just… am not looking, and I don’t plan on it in the foreseeable future. I can get another sponsor, if I need too.” Tony says straight away and Sara is looking down in embarrassment.

“Um… sorry about anything, I didn’t realize you were in a relationship, otherwise I wouldn’t have. I just thought… maybe you would be interested in me and I told myself to go for it, because I’m usually the one who doesn’t. But  it won’t happen again.” Sara takes a sip of her tea.

“it’s okay, I just wanted to get things straight. I don’t think-“ Tony pauses. He doesn’t know what he should say “I don’t think he would like it.” her head snaps up so quickly.

“He?” She burst out “Sorry, that was rude. I was just under the presumtption that you were…”

“Straight? Yeah, I was but now…. but please don’t tell anyone because I don’t need the media on this and I’m sure my boyfriend would literally kill me if this got out. So please.” Sara nods

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Uh can I ask who your boyfriend is?”  
“Um, you can but you won’t get an answer. He’s very… shy about this stuff.” Sara nods in understanding “In a whole other topic, Steve wants to meet you. He’s a really good friend and he asked so… if you want maybe we could go get coffee?”

“Steve? Steve Rogers? Captain America wants to meet me?” Sara asks excited

“I don’t think you were this excited to meet me.” Tony says 

“Well I had to play it down. Now didn’t I? but I promise I was screaming on the inside. Maybe you can hook me up with Steve… he’s single yes?” Sara laughs

“Um, not really… he doesn’t talk about, but he has eyes on someone else. And I have a feeling they like him back. Sorry. I’m sure Clint or Bruce would swoon if they met you.” Tony laughs “Or Natasha if she were into chicks.”

“Ha ha. That’s alright. I’ll find a regular person, not a superhero.” She rolls her eyes.

“Honestly I think Bruce is secretly in love with Natasha and I’m sure she feels the same about him. I told Steve and he thought I was crazy… but we’ll see.”

“This is new.” Sara laughs “Having an inside perspective on the Avengers. I swear if someone asked me a month ago if I’d be having coffee with Iron Man I would have laughed in there face.”

“I know, I’m spectacular. It’s alright to be start struck.” Tony says with a laugh

“So,” Sara says changing subject “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” Sara give tony a pointed look. “I almost died yesterday. We were in battle and I went into save a guy. The whole place was gonna blow and I didn’t think we should leave him. So I went in and saved him, against my teams wishes. But we we’re 1 second away from dying. And the asshole I saved turned out to be the one who we were supposed to find.”

“Wow. Sounds like a hell of a day.”

“Not really, kinda normal for us, actually.”

“I thought you were only on call for Alien matters? Like the Chitauri and the Hyndrid, the clones?”

“Um… mostly, but sometimes when they need it done quickly and quietly they call us in. Were really good, so we just get it done. Not ot sound like I’m bragging or anything…”

“No, you’re deserve to brag. You saved the world from aliens, Manhattan from a nuke! Like brag all you want.” Sara laughs.

"It's Howards birthday." Tony says after a moment.

"Sorry. I know you had a stressful relationship with him. but i'm sure it's tough."

"Not really... i just mostly feel guilty that i'm not sad." Sara nods 

"If there is anything i can do."

Tony nods in thanks. “So, I should probably…” Tony motions the door.

“Oh yeah, right. You have a lot to do.”

“Yeah, and the Avengers can’t go an hour without me. But, uh, maybe next time I can bring Steve. And I’ll be at the meeting on Tuesday.”  
“Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll see you Tuesday.” They hug and he heads back to the tower.

 

“How’d your meeting go?” Steve asks Tony when he’s back.

“it went well. I want you to meet her.” Tony says smiling

“Did you tell her…?” Steve asks, not nervous but maybe a little worried

“I told her I was gay, but not that you were.” Tony says with a tight smile and Steve visibly relaxes. Tony really tries to not take it personally, but he does.

“Thank god, thanks, Tony.” He says with a smile. Tony just turns and walks away. “Tony?” Tony keeps walking Steve running behind him “Tony, wait up. What’s wrong?” Tony stops short making Steve bump into him. He turns around and pushes steve back so fast Steve stumbles to catch up

“What’s wrong? Are you dumb, Steve? Really, are you that stupid that you can’t see what I’m upset over?” Steve just frowns at the stupid.

“I’m not-“ Steve asks hurt

“No, you’re not stupid or dumb, so you should be able to figure this out. Until then.” Tony Angry turns and heads for Bruce. He hasn’t talked to him in a while. He’s probably at his own lab.

When he enters Bruce smiles, but then he’s Tony’s face.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asks

“Something with Steve, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to hang with you. We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Alright.” Bruce says slowly. “Well, what I’m currently working on is…” Tony get’s lost in his work with Bruce. After a few hours Tony sits back and smiles

“You, know. I missed spending time in the lab with you. We don’t do it anymore, and you’re the only one who knows science like I do.”

“Yeah, I do too.”

“I can speak normally around you. Do you feel like you have to choose different words around them? Like you’re so used to the technical speak, you have to literally switch your vocabulary?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Its not the same when I’m with you then I am with them.” Tony nods in agreement “So, what had you bothered earlier? I’m sure it had to do with Steve otherwise you’d be with him right now.” Bruce says taking off his glasses.

“Well, sorry about that. I want to do more science stuff with you, with everything that’s happened… i just kinda got sidetracked… but anyway, you know that women I met a AA?” Bruce nods. “Well I told her I was gay, and she was cool about that… but I didin’t tell her about Steve cause I figured if anyone should it should be him. When I told him I didn’t tell her he was gay. He said. ‘Thank god thanks Tony.’ Like he’s embarrassed to be in a relationship with me. I get not wanting to tell the whole world, but come on! And he didn’t want to tell you guys when we were in California. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about all this. And then he doesn’t even know what has me so upset. It pisses me off, and I sure as hell aren’t going to tell him.” Bruce nods along with what Tony’s saying.

“I’m not great at relationship advice. But, I would think you have to tell Steve what has you so upset, in order for you to fix it. or for him to explain or have that fight you need to have to get over it. Keeping him in the dark isn’t going to fix it, it’s just prolonging it.”

“Yeah, but he’s not stupid,  he should know!”

“He’s not the psychic Tony, a or mind reader.”

“I’m not psychic, I just see a part of the future.” Bruce gives him an ‘are you serious’ look. “I know, but it’s not that hard to figure out.”

“Maybe for you, but he’s not a certified genius. Or very good in relationships. Tony you’re the first real person he’s been with. He doesn’t know how to have a fight and how this works.”

“And I do? Bruce this is my first serious relationship, besides Pepper which wasn't that serious. I’ve never had a fight like this or anything.”

“So you should work on it together. I’m sorry Tony you can’t be stubborn on this one.”  
“You’re right.” Bruce smiles

“I know.”

“So how are thigns with Nat? I know you’re basically in love with her.” Bruce blushes and looks down

“She doesn’t know that, and she never will.”  
“oh come on, she’s totally into you too.” Bruce shakes his head “Dude, if you’re worried because of the Other Guy, don’t be. We know you have it under control, she knows that too. And come on, she’s seen you as a big giant rage monster and she still likes you.” Bruce tries to hold back a smile

“I don’t know.”

“You know what? I’ll go talk to her, see how she feels about you. Yeah?”

“No I don’t think-“

“Good, I’m glad you agree.” Bruce shakes his head.

“Worry about your own love life.”

“I can worry about all sorts of things.” Tony laughs.

“Go talk to Steve, before things get worse.”

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Where is Steve currently?”

“In his gym. He appears to be testing your indestructible punching bag.”

“How’s it holding up?”

“Quite well.” Tony nods

“I should…”

“Yeah, I’ll finish up here.”

Tony makes his way to Steve. He stands in the doorway and just watches Steve punch. Getting all his frustration out. After a moment he seems to realize someone is watching him and he turns and looks at Tony. Steve looks away

“You know,” Tony says “Punching _someone_ is a better outlet then something.” Steve looks at tony

“You want me to punch you?”

“No.” Tony scoffs “I kinda want to punch you though.”

“Why? Tony, I really don’t know.” Steve says with a sigh

“I know. I’m going to tell you. But I’m really mad.”

“I’m sorry… for whatever I did.” Steve says shrugging

“See, I don’t think you are.” Tony says pacing. “Because we’ve been over this before. And you still are the same. Are you really that embarrassed to be gay? Or is it me?” Tony looks over at Steve whose realizing what he said earlier.

“No, Tony god no. It’s not you. I swear.”

“It was the same way with the team. I feel a pattern forming, and I’m not very fond of it.”

“Tony, I love you. I’m not embarrassed to be dating or in love with you. I just… can you trust her? I mean you barely know her. And I’m sorry if I’m not ready for the whole universe to know that I’m gay. But it’s not because of you. I love you. I’m just… not ready.”

“I don’t know if I can trust her. But so far nothing I have said has reached the media, and why would she? What does she have to gain from it. And I understand ‘you’re not ready’ but come on. Come on, Steve. You’re never going to be ready.”

“You haven’t told the world you’re gay, have you? This goes two ways Tony.”

“I haven’t told them because I hadn’t found the right man to do it with, but with you. it’s not me stopping us. It’s you. Let’s go public. Right now. I’ll call a press conference.”

“No!” Steve gasps.

“Exactly. Just my luck. I find the best man ever, only he’s ashamed of who he is.” Tony shakes his head “Let me know when you figure it out. Until then, I think you should stay away.” He turns around and walks out the door. Leaving a very conflicted Steve behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, another chapter!

Previously: “Exactly. Just my luck. I find the best man ever, only he’s ashamed of who he is.” Tony shakes his head “Let me know when you figure it out. Until then, I think you should stay away.” He turns around and walks out the door. Leaving a very conflicted Steve behind.

~ 

“I talked to him.” Tony shouts entering Bruce’s lab “And it sucked. I feel like I’m 15 at MIT again. Like, I’m too smart and too young to date anyone. Literally illegal and now as an adult, kinda gross… but then when I graduated at 17, I had a very nice girlfriend. And when I said I’m moving away, she made me decided between her and moving. Like, I’m not giving up my dreams for a college girl. Seriously. But I feel like I’m doing that to Steve. Only a little less… extreme. God.” Tony sits on the chair as Bruce listens quietly.

“What’d you tell him?”  
“Well, it started off okay. I told him why I was upset… he said it wasn’t me that he didn’t want people to know about… and then he said he ‘wasn’t ready’ for the world to know, which is horse shit. Seriously. And then he’s like well you’re not either. So I said fine lets have a press conference to share the good news. And he freaks. So I told him to figure it out and until then to stay away from me.” Tony says with a sigh “I didn’t mean for that part to come out, but he just made me so upset. You understand right? You see where I’m coming from!” Tony looks hopeful to Bruce

“yes, I see where you’re coming from, but I also see where he’s coming from. You have to remember, Tony, Steve is… old fashioned. To put it lightly. For example cursing. Cursing wasn’t as normal as it is today, and I think it still bothers him they people do it all the time. Especially you. You’re like a sailor with the mouth you have on you. Do you think Steve really loves that about you? Probably not, but he’s dating you all the same.”

“Love.” Tony sighs “He loves me, I love him. Yes we’ve gotten there. It’s all been said.” Bruce smiles

“He loves you, Tony. And you’re cursing. He’s still old fashioned. Being gay back then was… not very great. And of course Steve is more open minded than any other 90 year old I’ve met.” Bruce chuckles “But he’s still gotta think somewhere people will think less of him, because of it. And that’s true. Most people are okay, but you still got some haters. And Tony, Steve’s used to everybody loving him. He might be scared that they won’t anymore. It’s not because of you Tony. He says he loves you and he doesn’t say that without meaning it, then it’s not you he doesn’t want people to know about. It’s he’s afraid people will think less of him.” Bruce explains

“You think?” Tony asks and Bruce nods “Do I really curse that much?” Tony asks Bruce laughs

“Yeah, you do.”

“I can’t help it. I heard fuck, shit, crap, ass, and god damn all of it since I was like 3. I guess it’s just not a big deal to me.”

“Yeah, but I can see it bothers Steve. You only do it when you’re… agitated so you may not be paying attention to the world around you, but I know Steve doesn’t exactly like it.”

“Well… this is new concept to me.” Tony says

“What, caring about people?” Bruce asks

“People caring about me.” Tony shakes his head. And Bruce smiles sadly “I mean, I care about a lot of people and a lot of things. You guys, my company, Pepper… sorta. But… I don’t think anyone has ever told me they loved me, until Steve.” Tony looks away

“What about your parents?” Bruce asks softly “Didn’t they?” Tony shakes his head and turns away. “Oh Tony.” bruce says sadly. “You have to know we love you. The Avengers and I.”

“Of course, I know you guys care.”

“Love, Tony. You’re our family.” Bruce puts a hand on Tony’s back.

“I haven’t really ever had a family. I had mom and a dad, but they weren’t… it was only me and Jarvis.”

“he never said he loved you?” Tony shakes his head

“He signed his cards love, Jarvis, but he never said it.”

“JARIVS, tell the Avengers to come down here, please. All of them.”

“Yes, Dr. Banner.”

“Bruce what are you doing?” Tony asks nervous

“Showing you that you have a family, people that care about you.”

“I don’t-“.,

“What’s wrong?” Steve the first one through the door.

“I think we all need to talk to Tony.” Natasha and Clint come together followed by Thor.

“What’s wrong?” They repeat

“Tony has informed me of something, and I think we need to get this out.”

“Don’t you dare.” Tony threatens

“Do you want to tell them or shall I?”

“Don’t do it.” Tony says “please.” Tony adds

“I will.” Tony glares. “Tony, had a small fight with Steve earlier.” They all look between them “And Tony came and we talked and he informed me, that before Steve, no one told Tony they loved him.” Tony glares and the Avengers look sad.

“Tony?” Steve asks soflty and the Avengers look towards him with soft eyes “Is that true?”

“Yeah, no one ever loved me, so what? I got through it.” Tony says defensively

“I thought, since we all love Tony, we should tell him. Tony, I love you.” Tony stands up

“I’m not doing this. I don’t need this, I don’t want this. I’m leaving.” Tony makes his way for the door, but Steve grabs his arm and pulls him close.

“I love you so much Tony. I really do. And I’m so sorry about our fight earlier. I want to discuss… more about it. Because I love you.”

“I love you Tony. Not just because you pay for like everything.” Clint says “You actually are a really great caring person and I love that about you. I love you.” Tony tries to escape Steve’s grasp but Steve just wraps his arms around him.

“I love you too Tony.” Natasha says “I understand what that’s like. Only a few people told me it before I met Clint. I think 3. And only 1 really meant it. And I do. I love you.” Tony sighs and crosses his arm

“I too, love you man of Iron. You are a great ally and great friend. I am proud to say that I am your friend. Because I love you Tony.” They all look at him

“I know you guys love me, I didn’t need to hear It.” tony sighs “And I love you too.” He rolls his eyes. And they all cheer and go in for a hug. Once they pull back Tony wiggles his way out of Steve’s grasp and turns to him

“If you think these means we’re cool and I’m not upset, you have another thing coming.”

“I know, I want to talk about it. I do. I’m sorry, for what happened earlier.” Tony nods.

“yeah, well, I’ll forgive you when I’m not still upset about it. And when we come to an agreement.” Steve nods and tony turns to Bruce.

“What the hell? Seriously Bruce! What were you thinking? I didn’t need that.” Tony throws his arms up. “I don’t need to hear people tell me that.”

“You’re welcome.” Bruce says with a smirk

“You better be glad you’re my friend.”

“So Tony, now that you know 5 people love you, what are you going to do next?” Clint laughs

“Die of embarrassment.”

“You’re parents never said it? Jarvis? I know you were close.” Steve asks softly

“No, they didn’t, and who else did I have? A girl friend or two, few hook ups.” They give him a look “Fine a lot of hook ups, but nothing ever got that serious. I didn’t need to hear it. I didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me feel…” Tony trails of trying to think of the right word.

“Happy?” Steve asks hopeful

“Stuck, trapped, confined. Pick one. It doesn’t matter which word you use. It makes me feel… tied down.” Steve tilts his head

“Why?” The whole team is listening

“Because I’m attached. And if something happens, if anyone dies or, or leaves, I wouldn’t be able to take it. It would destroy me. I can’t do it. not again, and knowing this, would make it even harder.”

“Tony, that’s not gonna-“

“You don’t know that! With the life we live, any day one of us could die. In something as simple as a car accident even. But we live dangerous lives. Something I would never stop doing, but it could happen. Someone’s getting shot next time we have a party. What if it’s in the head? Honestly, I’d rather die, then one of you. Because I couldn’t take it loosing anyone else.”

“We’re pretty damn hard to kill, we’re not going to die soon.”  
“We’re just human, Steve. Well, besides Thor, but one gunshot, one knife, one piece of ice. Anything. I lost my whole world, in one moment. My mom, my dad, and Jarvis. Everyone who remotely cared about me, died on the same night. I couldn’t do that again.”

“You won’t have to Tony. And people loving you, only makes the time we have here better.”

“But it makes loosing people harder.”

“I don’t want to argue. Can’t you just accept that we love you?”

“I can, I do know it. Even before you said it. We’ll talk about it later. I’m sick of this conversation.”

“Me too. What’s for dinner?”

“Ugh, I don’t’ feel like cooking.” Clint complains

“All we have is take out.” Tony points out. “And part of-“

“I know.” Clint sighs “What do you want?”

“Whatever’s easy.”

“Well, we could just have PB & J’s but like with different things, like fluff. Have you ever had fluff?” Clint asks

“What’s fluff?” Steve asks

“Oh my god, Steve, you’re gonna hate it.” Tony laughs “it’s absolutely disgusting. I can’t wait for you to try it!” Tony snickers

“Why do I have to try it if it’s disgusting?” Steve protests. Tony grabs Steve’s arm and pulls him

“Because the look on your face, will be hilarious. This is gonna be great.” Tony laughs “Come on!” they all pull Steve up to the kitchen and Clint gets out the jar.

“It’s actually good with ice-cream, but you’re just gonna take a nice big bite.” Clint gets a spoon and opens the jar. Steve looks in.

“What is that?”

“Marshmallow.”

“That doesn’t look like a marshmallow.” Steve frowns Tony laughs. Steve takes the spoon and mixes it in the container.  “Do I have too?”

“Yes!”

“Oh alright.” Steve says lifting the spoon. “Ugh it’s all stringy.”

“Just eat it.” Steve sticks the spoon in his mouth and takes it out. Steve smacks his lip with a sour look on his face. He swallows a few times. Making different faces and Tony can’t stop laughing he takes a nice long sip of water

“That’s actually the worst thing I’ve ever eaten.” Clint grabs his spoon

“It’s actually quite delicious.” He dips the spoon in and eats it all with a grin.

“aww. Gross.” He licks his lips

“Haters gonna hate.

“I need to go brush my teeth. Uck”  Steve shivers and exits the room

“I can’t believe you made him try it.” Clint laughs

“I can.” Bruce snorts. After a few moments discussing dinner Steve comes back in.

“What did you decide on?”

“Thai, we’re not cooking.” Clint says and Tony looks at him “But they next 6 nights I promised a nice home cooked meal.”

“Nice.”

“But we’re taking turns. I’m cooking tomorrow, then Tony, then Steve, the Bruce, then Nat, and Thor, but we’re gonna help the big guy.”  
“Yes, I am not fully comfortable cooking on my own.” Thor says and they all nod.  
“You know, today was… better than I thought it was going to be.” Tony smiles and nods

“Why would today be bad?” Clint asks

“it’s um… today’s Howards birthday day.” Tony fills in.

“Oh… that makes sense.” Clint says about the conversation earlier Natasha elbows him

“We’re sorry Tony. Today couldn’t have been easy.”

“Yeah, right. Sorry.” Clint nods. With an apologetic smile.

“S’alright. He didn’t like me, I didn’t like him.” Tony shrugs

“Yeah, but still.” Steve says giving Tony a sideways hug

“Yeah, I know.”

They sit there for a moment somber but Tony snaps out of it first

“JARVIS, order us the usual.”

“Of course, Sir.”

The team starts talking again, but Tony just listens with a soft smile on his face enjoying being around the people who loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i don't know where the whole 'no one said i love you to tony' thing came from. but i like how it turned out. And i don't know people's feelings of fluff. I think it's gross, but some people seem to like it. Anyway, thanks for reading.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, pretty long chapter this time!

Previously:

The team starts talking again, but Tony just listens with a soft smile on his face enjoying being around the people he loves.

 

Later that evening Steve and Tony decide to push the conversation to tomorrow. They still share a bed.

 ~

 

The next day Tony decides to be match maker in the Bruce and Natasha romance. He catches her alone in the lounge.

“Nat.”

“Tony.” She pauses “Now that you and Steve are out in the open, I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“When we were in California, what were you and Steve really doing that morning?” She tilts her head.

“Taking a shower.” Tony shrugs. “No we weren’t having sex, we were just hanging in bed.” Natasha nods

“So, Natasha. I actually have a question for you.”

“Alright, can’t promise you’ll get an answer, though.”

“When are you going to tell Bruce you like him?” Natasha face stays blank besides the raise of an eyebrow. “I know you like him, it’s obvious… or well to me. And I can see he likes you so what are you waiting for?”

For a long minute Natasha doesn’t answer Tony. He just sits with his head tilted studying her face. While she keeps it blank. After a minutes she sighs.

“Fine, yes I do like him. As for what I’m waiting for? I don’t know. Him to come to me? But I know he won’t do that… and… I don’t know if I can see myself in a real relationship, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, if I may offer some of my awesome advice?” She shrugs “One, I know Bruce likes you, as you probably do too. And he won’t come to you, which you also know. But as for not seeing yourself in a real relationship? I know exactly how that feels. This is really embarrassing, but I’m going to tell you. Ever since I met Steve, I instantly liked him. He was everything my dad said he was, but more. So, because of that I was a total ass to him.” Natasha snorts. “It was also because I thought, and he was, as straight as they come. So I called him capsicle just to make him stay away because I’d rather him gone then me always longing for him, because I knew I didn’t stand a chance. I also thought I didn’t deserve a chance and didn’t think I could have one because of my past, and my history. But then New York happened, and my tower was ruined. And I thought maybe you guys could move in. Even though I’d have to see him around.” Tony shakes his head. “And so I built all this, labeled it Avengers, had you all move in, and avoided him at all costs.” He shakes his head. “But slowly he started to like me too. And it wasn’t me who said it. It was Steve who had the balls to do it, because I never would. And now look at us. That’s exactly you and Bruce. One of you has to sack up and tell the other. And like me, it’s won’t be Bruce.” Natasha has a small smile on her face.

“One that’s not embarrassing that’s… cute.” She admits after a pause. “And I see your point, but I honestly don’t know. It’s not that simple.”

“It never is. Just think about it.” She sighs and nods Tony exits the room leaving Natasha to her thoughts.

 ~

Tony makes his way up to Steve, because they still hadn’t had a chance to talk. Well, first he grabs a cup of coffee. He makes his way to the common floor. He see’s Steve staring absently at a book, but his eyes says he’s not reading it.

“Steve?” He jerks out of his daze and turns

“Tony.” he smiles at him but Tony looks down, causing Steve to frown

“I’m going to get coffee, then I think it’s time we had our talk. Okay?” Tony says avoiding eye contact, which is so unlike him. Steve nods and Tony heads for the kitchen. Standing waiting for it to be made Tony absently says “You know, I bet I could make a coffee maker faster than this or any other.” Steve chuckles from the other room.

“I bet you could, it could save you precious seconds every day.”

“Multiple times a day.” Tony picks up his now ready coffee and takes a sip. “Best drink ever.” He takes another sip, then almost dreadfully makes his way to the couch. They sit there in silence not knowing what to say and how to start.  
“I’m sorry.” Steve says. “It’s not you, I’m embarrassed about. It’s just-“

“The world looking at you different?” Tony cuts off. “Maybe some people losing faith in their precious hero?” Tony tilts his head with a shrug when Steve looks shocked “Bruce talked a little sense into me. And also made some good points.” Tony shakes his head with a laugh

“Like what?” Steve asks

“How much I curse. How often do I really do it?” Tony wonders and Steve nods in understanding

“More then you realize, less than I expected.”

“Fair, I’ll try and work on it, because Bruce told me you may not like it so much.” Tony nods, and before Steve has a chance to speak tony continues “but not what we came to talk about.” Tony changes subject.

“Right. Um… I love you. I love you so much it scares me. But what scares me more, is telling the whole world, that you’re my world.” Steve blushes and looks down. “I know like most people think it’s okay to be gay, but I’m like supposed to be ‘the American role model’ and-“

“Wait a sec.” Tony interrupts “You’re telling me you’re supposed to be the American role model, yeah? And It’s not okay for that person to be gay? Listen up old man, this is the 21st century. We’re not in 1940 anymore. We’re America, the all accepting country. So why can’t the Role model of America be gay?” Tony asks

“Well, he can. I just don’t know how they’ll take it. What if they hate me?”

“They’re not going to hate you. They love you. And believe me I know what it’s like to be hated. It’s not so bad, but it won’t happen to you. and I understand where you’re coming from.”

“You do?” Steve asks with wide eyes

“Of course I do, I’ve been in the spotlight my whole life. Just because I’m used to it, doesn’t mean press conferences make me nervous. And… and I’m willing to wait telling the world, because I know how you feel.” Steve’s face doesn’t change much to Tony’s shock He just nods

“Thank you Tony. One day we can tell them, I want too at some point. Just not today.”

“Thank Bruce, he talked some sense into me. But you’re welcome. I love you. Can i tell Sara?"

“I love you too and... yeah, if you want.” Tony smiles and makes his way over to Steve and kisses him. Long and soft.

“Come on, let’s go see what everyone else is doing.” Tony nods and they head to the elevator

“Although, we could just go upstairs and pretend the world doesn’t exist?” Tony says nudging Steve who grins.

“Fine by me.”

“JARIVS, my…” Tony turns to Steve “our floor.” Steve grins wider.

“Our floor. Altough you made me such a nice floor of my own.”

“Well, you make my floor better.” The elevator door opens

“Yeah, probably because you don’t have any personal anything. Why is that?” Steve asks taking Tony’s hand

“Because I’m never in here. Not until you showed up. I was always in my lab, I slept there, worked there and most of the time ate there too. I never came in here until you wanted to share a bed. And well we can’t share a couch.”

“Well, let’s make it personal. Hang some photos add some artwork. Right now it’s like a hotel. Simple standard, boring.” Steve says

“Well, you can go shopping and add some stuff.” Tony shrugs

“First we need to paint.”

“Oh, we’re painting now?” Tony asks with a laugh

“Of Yeah” Steve nods “This blue is boring. We need something daring and sexy, like you are.” Steve raises his eyebrows

“Oh yeah?” Tony gives him a his sexy grin “Like what?”

“Well, for me to explain my _vision._ ” Tony laughs at his choice of words “We need to go to the paint store.”

“Set a date, I’m in.” Steve grabs Tony and wraps his arm around Tony’s shoulder and tilts his head

“Are you now?”

“Mhmm. Who am I to stop your vision from coming true?” Their noses are touching they’re so close.

“It’ll be perfect, just like you.” Steve whispers. Tony closes the gap between them and melts into the kiss, which is hot and passionate. Every emotion is coming out. After a long blissful moment Steve breaks the kiss his forehead resting on Tony’s.

“I love you and I want you, but I’m going to stop now.” Steve says out of breath

“Okay.” Tony closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He turns his head away still leaning on Steve’s  
  
“Tony.” Steve says and Tony doesn’t respond “Tony, look at me.” Slowly Tony turns back and looks up at Steve eyes wide and vulnerable. “Don’t you be sorry, ever. I love you, yes I want you, but I don’t need you.” Steve whispers. “Wait, that sounded different then I meant. I need you, tony what I mean is I don’t need to have sex with you. Our relationship, is so much more then sex. And yeah, when you get there, it’ll great, but if it’s now, or a year or 10 years from now, I don’t care. Okay?” Tony looks away a nods.

“10 years is a long time." Steve gives him alook "I love you, more than words can describe. I love you more then I love anything else. You’re everything. You’re my everything. And no, I’m not perfect, you are.”

“Yeah I am.” Steve jokes with a smile

“Ass.” Tony snorts.

“Seriously, I’m not perfect, but that doesn’t matter. We’re not perfect individually, what matters is that we’re perfect _together_.” Tony nods

“That’s beautiful.” He then laughs. “I had a really messed up thought.” Tony pulls his head back but stays in Steve’s embrace.

“What?”

“My dad, Howard, never shut up about you.  He loved you, wanted to find you so bad. But now I can’t help think that it’s me who found you. That I won. I got you.” Tony grins “I get the last laugh.”

“Tony.” Steve says frowning

“Oh don’t give me that. I can say what I want.” Tony pulls out of Steve’s embrace. “You know, you knew him what he was at his best.” Tony walks a few feet away. “You didn’t know what kind of father he was. You didn’t see that Howard. Yeah I told you some of what happened, but… you don’t get to give me that all high and mighty crap. Not me, and especially when we’re talking about Howard.” Steve rubs his face.

“I know, I know, you’re right. Sometimes it just comes out. Even though I didn’t really say anything. But” Steve cuts Tony off “I know how I said your name. It’s just hard, hearing about what he became and what I remember him being. And… I know what happened or… some of what happened with him, but it would have been nice to see him again. He did, apparently, spend a lot of time and money looking for me. And he was my friend. I would have liked to say goodbye. Even if he was a changed man.” Steve explains

Tony turns away so Steve can’t see his face. He closes his eyes and has an internal debate. After he hears Steve sigh in defeat he makes up his mind. He turns around with a grim look on his face.  
“Fine, let’s go.” He makes his way out of his room.

“Wait, go where?” Steve jogging to catch up

“You want to say goodbye? Let’s go so you can at least try.”   
“You mean to his grave?” Steve asks

“Yes Steve his grave.”

“But I thought-“

“Yeah, I didn’t ever want to see it again, but you do.” He say’s entering the elevator. “And I don’t want to be in the way of you going.”

“Well, I can go alone.  Tony, you don’t need to come.”

“I know, I’m not visiting them, I’m gonna let you do that.” Tony says getting into the car.

“Who are you visiting?”

“Jarvis. They’re close enough where you can be alone, but far enough where I won’t hear you.”   
“Um, okay. If you’re sure.”

“we’re already in the car. JARIVS, tell the team we’re going out for a bit, don’t say where, just ask when dinner will be ready, then let me know.”

“I will, Sir.” Comes from the car.

“JARVIS is in your car?” Steve asks shocked.

“He’s in everything I own. He can start my coffee machine, if I asked.” Tony laughs at Steve’s shocked face.

“Wow. Just wow.”

They pull up to the cemetery a couple of minutes later. They get out of the car and Tony leads them to where their grave is.  
“Mom is next to him, but she wasn’t much better than he was.” Tony sighs and points to the plot, but avoids looking at it directly. He then looks at the ground “Just because I’m here, old man, doesn’t mean I’m doing it for me or for you. This is for Steve, and that’s all.” Tony shakes his head and Steve stands listening sadly. “Jarvis is about half a mile that way.” He points to the left. “Let me know when you’re done.”

 

Once Tony is out of hearing range Steve looks at the grave.

 

“Howard Stark.

08/15/1917- 12/17/1991

May he rest in peace.”

 

“No beloved husband or father.” Steve says outloud. “I guess it was up to Tony. And that makes sense.” He tilts his head. “You were so great. The world loved you. Well, America loved you. You were smart, and nice, and well, had fun with many women. You were popular. You were rich. You were… great.” He sighs “What happened?” Steve looks over to Maria Starks grave

 

“Maria Stark

07/13/1932- 12/17/1991

Beloved mother and wife.”

 

“I guess Tony thought you deserved that.” He shakes his head “Anyway, when you’re out, you always had a drink. It was the war, live while you can, right?” He looks down “It’s no surprise you were an alcoholic. But I never pictured you to be a mean drunk. Always the fun party goer… I guess that’s what happens when you get older.” Steve chuckles “I am 93. And well, that hasn’t happened to me. But maybe when I’ve been conscious for more than 30 years of it.”

 

He pauses “I think Tony’s scared that he’ll turn into you. He’s not like that. Although at the same age, I don’t think you were either. But I have faith in Tony. He’s smarter then you. He’s always been nicer. More generous. A _super_ hero. Which is different than a war hero. Not better, just different.”

 

“When I woke up, I thought about two things. You and Peggy. When I found out Peg was alive, I was so happy, and sad at the same time because her age, was shown. When I found out you had died. I was relieved and sad. I was relieved only because I didn’t have to see how old you had gotten. I was sad, I would never see you again… then I met Tony. God I hated him, I thought he was nothing compared to you. That you were this… great person. But you weren’t not after… I don’t know what caused the change. But whatever happened… it changed you bad.

 

I wondered what Tony had against me when we met. How he instantly disliked me. I thought god, what did I do to piss him off? Why, I had never met him I had never done anything to him. Except it wasn’t me, it was you. You used me when you talked to Tony. He told me that it was because of me, you never thought he was good enough. Just because I was Captain America the hero, doesn’t mean your son was anything less.

 

 He told me once, that he thought you had him just to run the company, which I could see as true. But I have a feeling, and I could be totally wrong and making this all about me, but maybe you wanted a replacement because you could never find me. I hope that wasn’t the case, but with you, you never know.” Steve rubs his face and looks at the grave for a long moment

“I thought I wanted to come here to say goodbye. That I would get closure. But… It didn’t work. It made it worse.” Steve turns and the pauses “I do miss you. The Howard Stark I knew, anyway. But he was dead long before the accident. As it says rest in peace. Even if you don’t deserve it.” With one last look Steve walks away.

 

_Meanwhile_

After Tony leaves Steve he heads to Jarvis.

 

“Edwin Jarvis

03/29/1918- 12/17/1991

Beloved Husband and Father.”

 

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a seat.” Tony sits on the grass. “You’ve never protested before so.” He looks at the headstone for a while without speaking.

“I don’t get why people talk to headstones. It’s not like you can hear me. I wish you could. But I don’t believe you can.” Tony sighs as he feels his eyes get wet “I always talk to you anyway.” He wipes his tear before it falls “I don’t know, why every single time I come here I still cry. I mean, it’s been 20 years. You’ve been gone for as long as you were with me. 19 alive 21 gone. But I still cry. I’m fine when I’m not here. But I’ve told you all this before. So maybe I’ll talk about my new life.” He chuck

 

“Aliens. Here in New York. And I fought them and I beat them. I’m a hero, Jarvis. Who would’ve thought? Rich genius playboy philanthropist, and now hero. I bet you would have never seen that coming. Of course, you always saw the best in me every single time, so if anyone would have, I’d be you.

We’re a team, now. The 6 of us who fought. We’re the Avengers. And you’ll never guess who is _captain_. That’s right. Captain America is back. And is he better then Howard ever said. I guess seeing is believing.

 

And would you believe I’m dating him.” He laughs “Nah, if I had come back in time when you were alive and said, the future me is in love with Captain Steve Rogers, you would laughed and laughed. If you were still though, you’d be cool with it. You’d be so cool with it. You were always like that.” Tony closes his eyes.

 

“I’m having some alcoholic problems, like my old man. And it scares me. I gave up drinking though and am going to AA meetings so you’d be proud. My team is. But I’m working on it.” He takes a deep breath

 

“You know, you’ve always been my family. You were my dad, as far as I’m concerned… remember when I called you dad? You cried but told me never to say it again, and I understood why, but I always wanted too.”

 

“Now let me you tell you about Steve. Literally perfect. And not just his body.” Tony laughs “He is perfect in every way.  He says that about me, but he doesn’t mean it. He just likes to think it. He is though, like really is… he did say we were perfect together, which I have to agree on that. And he has a great ass… But enough about perfection, because I think-“ he hears a crunch and stops talking he takes a deep calming breath “How long?”

 

“What?” he hears Steve from behind him.

“Don’t play dumb, how long?” Tony says looking forward.

“um well… not too long.”

“What was the first thing you heard?” Tony says still facing the grave.

“Well… when you called Jarvis dad.” Tony doesn’t say anything “I guess that’s why you put father on his headstone, and not Howards.”

“You don’t do that Steve.” Tony says finally standing up and turning around. “You don’t just stand there, while someone is doing that.” He says genuinely upset.

“Tony.” Steve says taking a step closer. “I’m sorry.” Tony ignores Steve and heads for the car. Steve steps in line next to him “Tony.”

“Just stop talking, Steve. Alright?”

“No, Tony. I just want to-“

“Say you’re sorry, I know I’ve heard.”

“I know, I was wrong, and I didn’t think it was big deal, but it was and I’m sorry. I want to make it right.” Tony stops and turns

“You just want me to say it’s alright. But it’s not. I came there so I could privately say my peace. I let you have that with Howard, why wouldn’t you give that to me?”

“I didn’t think about it Tony. I really didn’t mean too. If it’s about what you had said-“

“It’s not.”

“Well as much as you like to believe I’m perfect, this is the perfect example of how I’m not!” Steve shouts and Tony takes a step back “I’m not perfect Tony, and I hate that you say I am, because it makes me feel like I have to _be_ perfect, that I can’t make mistakes. And I hate that! I’m human too, we all screw up, and you keeping all this pressure on me sucks.”

“I don’t put pressure on you, Steve. I never have and I never will. I know you make mistakes and I’ve seen them and I don’t care about them. You being ‘perfect’ isn’t real. It’s that you are as close to being perfect as a human can get. That’s what that means. And you know that. I have never once done anything to put pressure on you or anything about your mistakes. But you don’t get to do _this._ And I think you know exactly what I’m talking about, so here.” He says giving Steve his keys “Take the car and go home. I need to be alone for a while.” Tony shakes his head and turns around

“Where are you gonna go Tony? It’s almost night and it’s gonna get cold. Just come home with me and we can talk later.” Steve then reaches for Tony

“Don’t touch me.” He shakes of Steves hand “Go home.” Tony walks away. Leaving Steve nothing to do but go to the car.

 

Once Tony is away from Steve he goes back to Jarvis’s grave.

He doesn’t say anything or do anything. He just sits there and think about what he said and what Steve said. It gets dark, and the only lights are on the path which is about 100 yards from Jarvis plot so he sits in the dark. He gets quite a few texts from Steve, but ignores them.  A few minutes after dark he gets a message from Bruce

“Dinner is in 10. Steve came home really upset, but is now really worried about you, saying you’re not responding. I won’t come bother you, just let me know you’re okay.” He sighs

“I’m fine, I just want to be alone. Please tell Steve to stop texting me. And I’m having JARIVS monitor me by my phone so if something happens, JARVIS will let you know. I’ll be home later. I don’t know when. Save me a plate, though.”

“Okay, thank you.” he doesn’t respond.

 

He sits there for another hour or so before texting Sara

“So like as my sponsor when I want a drink really really bad, you’ll come right? And talk to me?”

“Where are you?” comes her swift response. He gives her the address and the plot number and in about 20 minutes he sees her on the path.

“Over here.” She looks for him and nods. She walks over. And looks at the name she’s silent for a moment and then speaks

“Can we go sit in the light, I’d feel safer.”

“What you don’t feel safe with me?” he jokes. “Yeah, there’s a bench a few feet up.” Once they get there she starts

“What happened?”

“Well, Steve wanted to see Howard so I took him. I was taking to Jarvis and he came and was listening in on what I saying. So I got mad, and said stuff, which made him upset, which made him say stuff. And now I’ve been here for 3 hours not wanting to go home, but wanting to go to a bar.” He decides now isn't the best time to tell Sara that they're dating.

“Well, I’m really glad you called me. And I think, that maybe instead of sitting in the cold, you should go talk to him. Go have something to eat, and definitely go to a meeting.”

“I think I’ll go to a meeting. Rather than go home.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Tony takes one last look at the grave and follows Sara. “Did uh, you bring a car… I gave mine to Steve so he could go home.” Sara laughs

“Yeah, it may not be a Ferrari but I have a car.”

“I have cars other than Ferrari, I happen to own a very nice Cadillac.”

“For all the off-roading you do in New York City?”

“It’s more for when the team wants to go out in one car. We never use it, but I bought it for that.”

“I’m sure.”

They walk to her car and she has a ford fiesta.

“Not bad. I could totally dig one of these.” Sara rolls her eyes

“Just get in.”

Once they’re driving she continues

“So there’s a meeting a few blocks over. It’s staring in 15 minutes so it’s perfect.” His phone beeps.

“One sec.” It’s JARVIS asking him if he is okay with the driving. If he doesn’t respond in 1 minute 15 seconds it sends a message to the Avengers. Well, he doesn’t need that. He click the okay button.

“Sorry, safety things.” Her phone beeps.

“That’s probably my brother.” She reaches for her pocket and almost like a dream another car hits them on Tonys side. Glass shatters everywhere and the car flips over. After a moment when Tony must have blacked out, he notices he’s upside down, stuck but relatively unharmed, except maybe his leg, but he can't really feel anything.

“Sara?” he looks over and see’s blood running down the side of her face and her eyes open and unmoving. “Sara!?”

He see’s fire and rescue come for him “GO TO HER, I’m fine get her!”

“Okay, Sir. Just stay calm.” It’s all like bad memory the watch them get her out and the medics take over. A slight shake of the head and her lean back just turns him numb. He barely realizes they got him out until he hears a question

“Mr. Stark, is there anyone we should call?”

“I’ll do it. Um… yeah. I’m fine, I don’t need to go to a hospital. I have medical staff at the tower.” He says dazed

“Alright, but make sure you get your head checked.” The EMT says "and your leg."

“Okay.” He reaches for his phone, and see’s blood on it. Numbly he dials Steve.

“Tony? are you coming home now?”

“Steve.” He whispers his voice cracking

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks immediately

“I need you to come get me.”  
“Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?” He looks at Sara’s body being rolled away

“I’m at corner of 79th and 42nd street. Please hurry.” The phone drops from his hand and he sits on the corner. He honestly doesn’t know how long it takes for Steve and the team to get there. It felt like no time at all, but now the whole team is here asking him so many questions, but he doesn’t even hear them. After a moment Steve’s voice breaks through

“Tony?”

“Steve?”

He hears the Avengers say thank god.

“Tony it’s alright, you’re alright.”

“She’s dead.”

“Who’s dead, Tony?” Steve asks softly   
“Sara. My sponsor. I called her, and she was taking me to a meeting. And now she’s dead. Because of me. I saw her die, just like my parents. Only this time it really is my fault.”

“Of course, it’s not-“

“It’s my fault.” Tony cuts Steve off.

“Tony, let’s get you home, you’re in shock.”

“No… I don’t...”

“Come on Tony, being here is only making things worse.” Bruce says looking Tony in the eyes who is just dazed. “Steve is gonna pick you up, and we’re going to go home. Alright?” he moves back “Go ahead Steve.”

Steve helps Tony up and then Tony leans on Steve as they walk.

“What did you take to get here?”

“The Cadillac, we’re finally are using it huh.” Steve says

“I was telling Sara that when we got in the car. She’s dead, now though.” He says numbly

“I know, I’m sorry Tony.” Steve says. They get to the car, but Tony stops

“I don’t want to get in.” Tony says leaning on Steve.

“We’re only a few miles away Tony and we’ll drive very carefully and slowly. We’ll be alright.” Tony shakes his head.  
“We can’t all be in one car. You should have taken two. I’m not getting in.”

“What if you and me go in this car. And the others take two different taxis. That way only two in each car. Would that be okay?” Steve suggests.

“No. I want to walk.” Tony says standing up straighter

“Tony, you’re in no condition to walk. Please just get in the car.”

“Steve, I don’t want to.” Tony looks up at Steve with tears in his eyes “Please don’t make me.”

“Okay, it’s okay. What if Clint and Natasha went and got the Quinn jet. Would you go in there?” Steve asks and Tony nods.

“Yeah.” Steve looks up at Natasha and Clint and they nod

“We’ll be back shortly. Maybe get to a roof, with a landing pad?” Clint suggests and Steve nods.

“Yeah, we’ll get him there.” As they get in the car Tony calls

“Please don’t die.”

“We won’t Tony.” Once they’re out of sight Thor says he’ll go look for a roof.

“Tony? How’s your head.” Bruce asks once Thor took off.

“I don’t know. I can’t really feel anything right now.”

“Okay, Tony that’s normal.” Bruce looks at Steve who looks scared.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Steve asks Bruce

“Physically, he’s gonna be fine. But… emotionally, he’s gonna need us.”

“I’m fine. And I can hear you.” Tony points out. Luckily Thor is back

“There is a landing pad on this building. I can take you up one at a time.”

“Okay.” Steve says “Take me first. Then Tony. Then Bruce.”

“Alright.” And then Steve is gone.  
“Bruce.” Tony leans on him “I’m scared.”

“I know Tony, but Once we get back and you get some sleep you’ll feel better.” Thor lands down

“You ready Anthony?” Thor asks and Tony nods he closes his eyes and once he opens them he’s leaning on Steve.

“You’re alright.”

“I know.” Not a few seconds later and Bruce and Thor are back.

“It should have been me.” Tony says and when they go to protest he cuts them off. “I mean logically. It was my side that got hit by the car, so if anyone in that accident should have died, it should be me.” He pauses “Did anyone in the other car die? I didn’t look.”

“Um, yeah. The 3 people in car all did.”

“How old we’re they?”

“it doesn’t matter-“

“How old?”

“The two in the front were probably 40-45, and the person in the back was 15, maybe 16.”

“What caused the accident?”  
“They uh… blew the stop sign. It wasn’t your fault.” Tony was about to protest but the quinn jet is here. Slowly they get on and head back to the tower.

“How is he?” Natasha whispers to Bruce

“He’s in shock. Once we get back I plan on giving him a sedative. Knock him out for a long while. Help him clear his mind.”

“That’s good. You don’t think he has a concussion?”

“No, I think it’s just shock, but we’ll have someone look at him first, just to be safe.” Natasha nods

He looks back at Tony who is just staring at nothing. “That man has been dealt too much.”

“Yeah” Bruce agrees “I don’t know how much more he can take.”

“He’ll make it through this. He’s strong.” Bruce gives him one last look

“I hope so.”

 

Once back at the tower they help Tony to the med bay, where they have a doctor waiting.

“Hello, Mr. Stark, how are you feeling?” The doctor Jackie asks

“Numb.” He says “If I’m being honest.”

“Well, lets get you checked out and then get you some sleep. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.” He looks at Steve “Steve? Bruce?”

“Okay.” Bruce says walking over.

“Yeah, lets go.” Steve says to Tony “We’ll keep you guys updated.” Steve tells the team they nod and he and Bruce help Tony into the room.

“Alright, I’m going to check for signs of a concussion.” She does the light in the eyes and all the other stuff, but Tony i doesn't really process it.

“You do not have a concussion, luckily and-“

“Can you check my leg? I don’t feel anything like right now but I sorta remember feeling something.”  
“I thought you were leaning on us because you were tired?” Steve asks concerned

“Honestly I don’t know.” Steve puts a hand on Tony’s shoulder and the doctor asks which leg

“The right one.” He checks it out pulls asks if it hurts

“Well, there is something, I can’t fully treat it until Tony is more aware of his pain, so I want you to come back tomorrow afternoon or the next day. You’ll be really tired, with the sedative and here is something for the pain in case it  starts to hurt.”

“Sounds great, doc.”

“When was the last time he ate?” She asks Steve

“Um lunch.”

“Okay, Tony has gone much longer without food, I don’t think that will be too much of a problem just tomorrow make him something with a lot of protein and fiber.”

“Alright, thank you.”

“Let me get the medicine.” She exits the room.

“Tony?”

“Mhmm?”

“You’re gonna be fine.”

“I don’t know.” Tony sighs “I don’t want to talk about it.” The doctor comes back in

“Dr. Banner, I’m giving you the pain medicine, because it’s a shot and you know how to administer those, correct?” Bruce nods and she hands him the shot. “Alright, Tony you probably won’t even fell this.” She gives him the shot and sighs

“He’ll be out in minutes, so you can take him to his room. Just leave him alone for the night.”

“Thanks doc.” He yawns “Lets go.” Tony’s eye start to droop. “I’m tired.”

“Just close your eyes, when you wake up, you’ll feel better.” Steve says picking Tony up.

“Come on Bruce, thank you Doctor.” She nods

“He’ll be alright.” Steve carries him out to the waiting room where the Avengers stand up

“She gave him a sedative.”

“How is he?”

“He’s alright, something is wrong with his leg, but she can’t do anything until he’s more aware of it, to describe the pain. He just needs to sleep. I’m gonna take him to his room. Then we can talk more.” The team besides Steve and Tony go the common floor and Steve takes Tony to bed. He quickly changes him out of his clothes and puts him in the bed and covers him with the blanket. He gives him a quick kiss and leaves.

 

No one is talking until Steve gets back and then there is a moment of silnce.  
“What are we gonna do?” Clint asks

“We are going to help him.”

“But what if this is it? What if this is all he can take?” Clint continues. “He’s been here before, where he was in a car accident and everyone in the car but him died. The first time it was his parents and now her. What if he can’t take it? What do we do?”

“We help him. He’s gonna be upset but he can get through this. I have faith.” Steve says souding more confident then he feels

“Yeah, we have to help him stay sober.” Bruce points out. “This is the exact thing that can spark a relapse and he may not be able to come back from it again. JARVIS?”

“Yes, Doctor Banner?”

“Please watch Tony at all times and let us know if he leaves or in anyway tries to get alcohol. Use my override protocol TS7952.”

“I will Dr. Banner.”

“What protocol is that?” Steve asks

“Tony gave it to me, in case of something like this happened. He said there was no way he could override it. And he said it was for him, just in case. It monitors him and he can't lock himself in his lab, all of us are always allowed access to every room he's in. I have to shut it down. Me and only me, sorry Steve he thought you'd be overprotective." Steve nods in understanding, but it still hurts a little.  "It’s a good thing too."  Bruce continues "Tony’s smart, but he always thinks worse case scenario. In some way I guess it’s a good thing.”

“That’s Tony for you. He never did have much faith in himself.” Clint says

“I think he’s scared he’ll be like his father.” Steve mumbles.

“Yeah, I noticed that too.” Bruce nods

“Wait, what do you mean like his father?” Clint asks and Steve and Bruce share a look.

“Howard… he became a drunk.” Steve says “When he wasn’t neglecting Tony he was… mean to him.”  
“Did he hit him?” Clint asks outraged.

“I don’t know.” Steve says “Did he tell you?” He asks Bruce

“He didn’t. He may have implied it though. It’s hard to tell with him.”  
“Wow.” Natasha says “He hides that pretty well, I mean I always knew something was up kinda up with Howard, but he never really acted like that happened.”

“Well, I think he blocks most of it out.” Steve says “And… I always feel like it’s my fault.” Steve admits.

“How is it your fault? You were frozen.” Bruce asks in shock

“Well, Tony told me Howard always compared him to me. He thinks he was just born to run the company. And maybe if I had been found or not frozen in the first place Howard wouldn’t have turned into that.”

“It’s not your fault Steve. It’s Howard and Howards alone.” Natasha says and Steve just shakes his head.

“Tony doesn’t think it’s my fault either and I know it’s not completely my fault, but what if I was there? It could have been different.”

“I don’t think it could have Steve. Don’t blame yourself.”

“I know. I know.”

“I think we all should get some sleep and see how Tony is tomorrow.” Bruce says

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Steve says

They all head their separate ways and Steve heads to his floor, giving Tony his much needed rest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan on doing a cemetery scene or Sara dying, but it'll all be okay. I promise


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter. Go me!

Previously:

They all head their separate ways and Steve heads to his floor, giving Tony his much needed rest.

~

You know that feeling that you have after something bad just happened. That moment when you wake up and you know somethings wrong, something bad happened. You feel it in your chest and the pit of your stomach, but for that one precious moment, you don’t remember what it is. You try to enjoy that moment because when you remember it’s so much worse than that little feeling you had only moments before.

That exactly how Tony felt when he woke up. That blissful moment and then everything came crashing back. Except Tony doesn’t cry when he remembers, he doesn’t get up and panic. He just sits there and pretends nothing is wrong. He didn’t watch his friend die.He didn't loose anyone, nothing is wrong in the world. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, but it must have been a while because Steve is knocking on the door. He vaguely realizes JARVIS must have informed him.

“Tony?” Steve asks cracking the door open when he doesn’t answer.

“How long have I been asleep?” His voice sounds foreign to his own ears.

“Nearly 18 hours. It’s 3.”

“That’s…” he doesn’t finish because he doesn’t know what to say

“So… we made some lunch, and you haven’t eaten in over 24 hours so, why don’t you come down.”

“No.” Tony says staring at the ceiling. “I’m not hungry.”

“Well you need to eat.”

“I’m. Not. Hungry. I’m not coming down, I’m not going to the doctor, and I’m staying right here until I decide to leave.”

“Tony. Just-“

“I’m not moving.” Tony says

“What if I brought the food to you, would you eat it?”

“What did you make?”

“We have some sandwiches and some pasta salad.”

“I want coffee and a breakfast pastry.”

“Maybe you should eat something more filling? Something with protein.”

“I want coffee and a breakfast pastry… and bacon.” Steve sighs

“Okay, I’ll be back up shortly.” He exits the room and just as he’s shutting the door Tony whispers

“Thank you.” Steve smiles,

“You’re welcome.”

Tony decides that going to the bathroom is a necessity and slowly stands up. he get’s 1 step before his right leg gives out and he falls on the floor. He totally does not shriek. He rolls over so he’s facing up after the pain stops being terrible.

“Sir, are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I just can’t get up. Call someone up here, call Bruce actually.”

“I have informed Dr. Banner.” A minute later bruce knocks on the door.

“Tony? JARVIS called… where are you?”

“On the floor.” He calls from the side of the bed. “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Tony laughs but Bruce finds it less amusing

“What happened?”

“Well it appears that I can’t walk or put pressure or move my right leg without pain so I may have fallen on my face.”

“Okay… just wondering why didn’t you call Steve?”

“He’s pissing me off.”

“He’s trying to help.”

“I don’t need his help.” Bruce looks at Tony on the ground.

“It appears you do. I’m not a supersoldier, I probably can’t carry you to where you need to go.”

“I need to pee.”

“Yeah, I figured but I really can’t carry you. unless I turn green, which is bad for everyone.”

“… fine. Call Steve.”

“I have informed Captain Rogers that you are in need of assistance.”

“Thanks, J.”

“You are welcome.” Steve is in the room in less then 30 seconds

“Dude, did you run here? And did bring my coffee?” Tony when Steve bursts through the door.

“No, I didn’t bring your coffee. Tony, what happened?”

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Tony laughs at the joke again

“It’s really not that funny, Tony” Bruce says looking grimm

“Come on, it’s pretty funny.”

“It’s really not.”

“I don’t get it.” Steve says confused

“Okay, well whatever.”

“What happened exactly?”

“My right leg hurts. I didn’t realize it until I tried to walk. I fell. But now I need to pee.”

“Alright come on.” He litfts Tony up and helps him use the bathroom, after that embarrassing activity the help Tony into the chair in the corner of the room.

“We’ll will you come down stairs now?” Steve asks “I’ll make you coffee and I’ll warm up your pastry.” He bribes.

“Fine.” Tony gives in

Steve walks over and picks up Tony who cries out in pain.

“Sorry, sorry, are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just move.” Steve carries Tony down to the elevator and when he enters the kitchen the rest of the team get up and look worried.

“I’m fine.” He says before they can question him

“You’re not fine, something is wrong with your leg.”  
“Well, at least I’m not dead.” Tony grumbles and the Avengers frown.

“Right.” Steve says softly “Let’s get you coffee and a patry. What kind of pastries do we have?”

“Besides the famous poptart. None.” Clint says

“Well, Clint I know how much you love me, would you go to that bakery around the corner and get some? I think it’d make me feel better.” Clint grumbles but nods

“Yeah, I’ll be back, what does everyone want?”

They give Clint and order and he heads out.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee.” Tony says when his is ready. He takes a nice long sip and sighs “Thanks, just the way I like it.”

“So uh Tony, after you eat, why don’t we have Dr. Jackie check out your leg. See what we can do?”

“Sure. I think I know what’s wrong and how to fix it quickly.”  
“What’s wrong?”

“It’s too annoying to explain in detail, but basically, one of the tendons in my leg tore. And it takes a long long time to heal, and it doesn’t always fix perfect, but I can build something that helps me walk and be able to move regularly. I could be wrong, but…”

“Well, let’s just go check anyway, okay?”

“Yeah, of course. After coffee and pastries though.” Tony nods.

“How are you?… emotionally I mean?” Steve asks cautiously

“Trying to avoid feeling anything, thanks.” Tony replies with a warning look.

“At some point-“

  1. “Some point is not now. Drop it, Steve.” Tony says with a hard look. Steve sighs but nods and after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence Clint comes in.



“Oooh, Gimme, gimme, gimme.” Clint hands him the big box. He takes one of the ones he asked for a takes a takes a satisfying bite.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had an éclair.” Tony says taking another bite. “They just melt in your mouth.”

“They do, don’t they?” Steve says taking a bite of his croissant “They were better in the 40’s, though. They were less standard. Everyone was a little different.”

“I’ll have you know that bakery, only does homemade pastries. So, it couldn’t have been. Sorry to burst your bubble.” Tony informs. Steve chews his croissant and swallows

“I’m gonna have to disagree with you there, Tony. Maybe it’s a different recipe maybe it’s more standard, whatever it is, it was better.”

“I think you’re remembering it better than it was.” Tony shakes his head. “I remember for my 5th birthday Jarvis got me a cupcake, something Howard didn’t do.” The Avengers listen with a sad face. Tony gives them a look. “ _Anyway_ , it was a simple store bought cupcake, it was just from a gas station, one of those premade ones. We’ll I thought it was the best, right? I loved it and ate is so slowly I savored it. it was the perfect cupcake. So when I was older and at College, and on my birthday I went and bought myself the exact same cupcake. I’m pretty sure it was even the same store. And it sucked. It was awful, I hated it. I definitely remembered it better than it was. It was very disappointing.”  The avengers are silent for a moment absorbing Tony’s story

“Well,” Steve says “Maybe it was because Jarvis didn’t buy it for you. That it was the experience and not the cupcake. Maybe that’s what made it perfect.” Tony rolls his eyes

“Yeah, that’s a nice thought. But… I don’t think so.”

“Did Howard… did he ever celebrate your birthday?” Bruce asks softly.

“No.” Tony says shortly “What’s the big deal about a birthday? You’re one year closer to dying. That’s how he explained it when I was 5. Haven’t ever celebrated my birthday besides that cupcake. But I don’t care. So don’t give me those looks.”

“he said that? To a 5 year old?” Steve asks shocked.

“Oh there are many famous Howard Stark quotes in my life. Like when I was 8 and wanted to go on a real vacation, not just his work trips that me and mom tagged along on, he told me ‘You can have fun when you earn it.’ That’s a nice one.” The Avengers jaws drop. Their eyes sad “I wanted to go to Disney on year, he said ‘Disney is for babies, you need to grow up.’ I think that was when I was 11.” The Avengers look shocked and sad. “When I was off to college the goodbye I got was ‘Don’t suck, you suck and fail, you lose your inheritance.’ Yeah that was a good one.” Tony nods. “My personal favorite quote was when he was drunk, I was… 12, I believe, he told me ‘it’s good thing you’re smart, that’s the only reason you’re still here.’”

“Oh my god!” They all gasp “He told you that? All that?” Steve continues.

“Mhmm. Dear ole dad. Never said a word he didn’t mean. Honesty never failed that man.”

“I can’t believe he said that to you!”

“Whenever he talked to me, it was always stuff like that. Doesn’t matter what I was telling him. I built my first circuit board at 4. He told me, I should have done it at 3. Built my first robot at 7, he said I should have done something better, harder, more advanced. I can say that he always strived me to do better, to be better. So I guess that kinda worked. Maybe I should have thanked him.” Tony shrugs.

“Oh my god, no! No you shouldn’t have thanked him!” Steve say outraged. “He’s supposed to support you, and love you and kiss you goodnight, tuck you into bed, take you on vacation, be there for you to talk to. Teach you how to throw a football, teach you how to be a man.”

“yeah, right,” Tony snorts “That’s only dad’s in movie who does that. No one actually does that.”

“Mine did.” Thor speaks up. “He taught me how be everything I am. A great warrior, a hero. Everything he inspired me to be.”

“Mine was kinda an ass in later years, but he helped me when I was younger.” Clint says

“My dad drank.” Steve says “Not unlike Howard, but he was never mean. And whenever he was sober, he did stuff like that. Which wasn’t often, but it did happen. He died when I was 10.”

“Well, I have a pretty messed up childhood, so I’m not gonna go into that.” Bruce informs. Natasha doesn’t add anything, for good reason.

“Alright, fine whatever. Everyone’s dad is better than mine. Woohoo you win. I don’t care.”

“Did he hit you?” Clint asks straight up

“Clint!” everyone but Tony gasps

“What? We all want to know, and nobody else will asks. So Tony, did Howard ever hit you?” Clint pushes. And Tony keeps his face blank. The Avengers look at him expectantly, waiting for a response.

“There were times, in my childhood that was rough.” Tony says slowly “As you all already know. But it was on rare occasions that he would. But yes, he did.” The avengers stay silent absorbing everything Tony just said.   
“How often is rare?” Steve whispers. Tony looks up

“Well, that’s a tough answer. Because commonly he would just backhand me and leave me alone. That actually happened quite often, that happened when I bothered him. I learned to leave him alone at age… 7. But actually hit me hit. To the point I couldn’t go to school? That happened maybe twice a year. Sometimes 3, if he was particularly angry. He did it more in the summers so because I didn’t have anywhere to be. Of course there were a few in-between moments where it wasn’t so bad… that was probably once every 2-3 months. Tops. You have to remember, he traveled a lot, so… it probably would’ve been more if he was home as often as he was away.”

“oh my god. I had no idea.” Steve whispers

“What about your mom? Did he ever hit her?” Clint wonders.  
“No, he always believed you never hit a woman. Stood by that till the day he died.” He doesn’t wait for anymore questions. “Bruce, did you have something to give me for pain? I kinda remember that.”

Bruce takes a moment to answer “Yeah, she did. I’ll go get It.” he quickly leaves the room.

“Tony,” Steve starts “I’m really-”

“Don’t you dare say sorry. Don’t you dare.” Tony seethes “I don’t care if you feel it was your fault, I don’t care if you want to make me ‘feel better’” He uses air quotes “or yourself. I don’t care whatever reason you’re saying it, because I won’t hear it. Just because Howard was a dick, doesn’t mean I need your pity. He died 20 years ago. I’m over it.”

Steve slowly nods “Okay.” Steve says with sad eyes. Thank god Bruce takes that moment to come back in.

“Okay give me your arm.” Bruce says Tony hands out him arm, Bruce disinfects it, and gives him the shot. “That should help.”

“Thanks.” Bruce nods. “Will someone help me to the med bay?” Tony says putting the rest of his éclair down.

“Yeah,” Steve says standing up “Come on.” He lifts Tony up and Bruce follows him to the elevator. “I’ll give you guys an update when we know more so you don’t have to sit in the waiting room.” They nod and the elevator door closes.

 

Once there the doctor’s visit is really annoying the move his leg and test for pain (The medicince not kicked in yet) do somt x-rays and scans. 2 hours later they’re in the room when Dr. Jackie walks in

“Well, we know what’s wrong.”

“Give to me straight doc.”

“You sprained your knee.” She says with a chuckle “You’ll live. You may need a cane or crutches for the next week or so, but you’ll be fine.”

“huh. I thought it was worse then that.” Tony says

“Yeah, well, you’re always exaggerate everything. Like when you came in here ‘dying from the flue’ and you had a cold?” She laughs

“I did! You misdiagnosed me.” Tony protests

“Although you did come in with a dislocated should so I’ll give you that one.”

“How’d you do that?” Steve asks

“Um… I was in battle of course.” Tony says  
“He fell trying to reach something on the top shelf. Landed exactly wrong.” She laughs and so does Steve and Bruce

“Hey, that’s not fair!”

“Or when you came in and had broken a toe.”

“Okay, that’s low. Don’t you dare tell them.” Tony threatens

“What’d he do?” Steve asks

“His foot got stuck in the sheets getting out of bed.” Steve and Bruce burst out laughing.   
“No! Really?”  
“Screw you, I was seriously injured! I _broke_ something.”

“Oh, Tony. You never cease to amaze me.” She laughs

“Hey, I’ve some in ehre with real serious injuries before. Remember when I was a bug in a bug zapper? and my entire body was burned? Yeah no one is laughing about that one huh?” 

”I don’t know, you just called yourself a bug.” Bruce shrugs and Steve start laughing

“You guys are mean. Remember when I got kidnapped and had shrapnel on the way to my heart so a car battery attached to it? Yeah, I do. And now have a serious heart condition? Let’s laugh about that.” They stop laughing

“Tony, we were just kidding.” Steve tries explain

“We’ll not all of us have super-solider healing or can’t ever die. Some of us are still human. And still very breakable. And I don’t appreciate you laughing at my expense.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” Steve apologizes

“Tony, I’ll see later. I’ll give Bruce something else for the pain.” Dr. Jackie says not wanting to be in this fight.

“Okay, where are said crutches?” Tony asks

“I’ll bring you a pair, let me go get that and the pain medicine.” Once she’s gonna Bruce and Steve look to Tony.

“I’m sorry. I am, I didn’t mean-“

“Yeah, I’m hearing a lot of sorry lately. You know I’m still pissed at what happened at the cemetery. If you think what’s happened made things right between us, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“I know that it didn’t make things right, I hoped it didn’t matter anymore. But I understand why you’re still upset.” Dr. Jackie walks in with the crutches and medicine saving Tony from responding.

“Here you go Tony. Bruce.” She hands the crutches to Tony and the medicine to Bruce. “Once every 4 hours, no more than 3 doses in a day. You can double it up with Motrin, not Tylenol.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Tony grabs the crutches and stands on them. Slowly he walks.

“I had to use crutches when I was 11. So I’m pretty good with them.” Tony says walking “As much as I loved getting carried everywhere. I’d like to be able to walk.” Bruce chuckles

“Alright let’s go.” Steve says walking out “JARVIS tell the rest of the team we’re on our way up.”

“JARVIS isn’t in here Steve. Just out floors.” Tony informs

“Oh. That makes sense.”

“He’s in the elevator though. So.” The door opens and they get in.

“JARVIS?”

“Yes Captian Rogers?”

“please inform the rest of the team where on our way up.”

“I will, Captain Rogers.”

They ride the elevator  in silence and when the door open the team is on the couch waiting

“So, what’s wrong?” Clint asks

“Tony sprained his knee. He’s gonna be fine.” Bruce tell them

“That’s good. Sprains can hurt more than a break, you know.” Clint says

“Yeah.”

“So how long until you’re battle ready?”

“I can battle now, it won’t put pressure on my knee in the armor.” Tony shrugs sitting down.

“Well, that’s good. I guess.” Clint shrugs.

“Yeah.” Tony sighs “I think I’m gonna go lay down, I’m not feeling to great.” Tony says a little dizzy.

“Do you think it’s the pain medicine?” Steve asks

“Probably, it’s normal.” Bruce responds.

Tony grabs his crutches and slowly makes his way to the elevator. The farther he gets the more light headed he is. He is just about to the Elevator when his leg and arms give out. He falls to the floor. For the second time in one day.  
“Tony?!” Steve shouts running to him along with the team when they hear the ‘umph’ and thud.

“I don’t feel too good.” Tony whispers.

“Tony?” Bruce asks kneeling down “Look at me.” He rolls his head and looks at Bruce. His face is pale and he has a cold sweat on it.

“He needs to eat something. With all that’s happened and all the drugs he’s had, he needs to eat and drink. Bad.”

“I’m not hungry.” Tony protests on the floor.

“Tony, you need to eat or we have to take you to the hospital to get fluids and food in you. Just suck it up and eat something, okay?” reluctantly tony nods

“I don’t think I can move though.”

“Okay, I’ll carry you.” Steve says bending down to pick tony up.

“Can’t I just sleep now, and eat later.”

“No, you cannot.”

“Okay.” Steve carries Tony to the chair and lowers him in it.

“Grab that sandwich we made for him, and some water, and a bag of chips.” Bruce instructs.

Natasha, Clint and Thor get the stuff, while Steve watches tony and Bruce monitors him.

“Eat and drink.” Tony takes a slow bite of his sandwich. Slowly he makes his way through his sandwich and chips and slowly he starts to feel better. After he’s done he sits back.

“Well that was embarrassing.” Steve snorts

“He’s fine.”

“I am. That’s never happened before. And I usually go longer then that.” Bruce looks at Tony

“That’s really unhealthy. How often do  you eat?”  
“Um… well maybe once every day or two. It’s been better. I usually only eat dinner. And before we became friends I’m not sure.”

“Sir, would go over 72 hours without sustenance, only a daily basis. Currently he eats about once every 36 hours.” Tony nods in agreement

“Tony!” Steve gasps “That’s so unhealthy.”

“That’s borderline eating disorder Tony.” Bruce murmurs.

“No it’s not. I just forget, it’s not like I actively avoid eating.”  
“Still, once every 36 hours… do we need to force feed you at every single meal time?” Bruce asks

“Um absolutely not. I’m an adult, I know when to eat.”

“Apparently you don’t.” Steve says

“Look, I just haven’t been hungry lately.”

“You still need to eat.” Steve says

“I do. Just not as much as everyone else. I can function on little food and sleep. It’s gift.”

“It’s not a gift, Tony this is serious.” Natasha says

“No, it’s not. You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my parents.” Tony says with anger. “You’re not my parents, you’re not even my family. My family is dead. You’re just a filler.” Tony glares. And the Avengers are taken back.

“Family don’t end in blood, Tony.” Steve says “News flash, all my family is dead too. But _this_ is as close as were gonna get. Leave if you don’t like it.” Steve glares back

“This is my tower! I own this building. You are guests here! You can’t tell me to leave.”

“Okay,” Bruce steps in-between Tony and Steve “You guys are angry, you don’t mean-“

“The hell I don’t.”

“Just go cool down. We’ll talk when you’re both calm.”  
“That’s funny.” Tony says with an unfamiliar look in his eye. “The giant green rage monster is telling me I’m angry and need to calm down. Well maybe I don’t want to calm down.”  
“Tony, just take a breath.” Natasha says  
“I don’t need you, I don’t need _any_ of you. I was fine on my own for 20 years, I’m fine on my own now.”  
“It’s also really lonely, Tony.” Bruce says  
“We’ll, I guess you could say I’m used to it, because everyone I know _dies_.” There is a pregnant pause and after a moment Tony anger dissipates and he realizes what he said and what has happened. Tears start to form in his eyes. “Everyone around me dies.” Tony closes his eyes to prevent from crying.  
“It’s alright, Tony.” Steve says going for a hug but Tony pulls back

“I’m sorry, but I need to be alone right now.” Tony turns around as he wipes his tear and grabs his crutches and leaves as fast as he can. Everyone giving Tony his space.

“Should we follow him?” Steve asks

“JARVIS, monitor Tony and if he gets more upset, notify us.”  
“I will, Dr. Banner.”   
“I think we give him his space, and maybe in 30 minutes, you go talk to him Steve. I think it’s finally hit him that Sara is dead. And we know he didn’t mean what he said. Right?” Bruce nods  
“We know.” They all nod

Once Tony is in his room he starts sobbing. His vision is blurry and he can’t even think straight. He walks over to the desk and throws everything on the floor. He goes for the shelf with all his awards and throws them on the ground breaking them into pieces. He grabs the chair in his room and throws it at the wall. He doesn’t even feel his leg hurting. He picks up the tv and is about to throw it on the ground when Steve and the team runs in and Steve grabs it and quickly puts it down. Tony falls into Steve’s embrace.  
“She’s _dead_. She died right in front of me. Just like my parents and in Afghanistan. They all died right in front of me. Everyone I know dies.” Tony starts sobbing into Steve’s shoulder.  
“it’s alright Tony, everything is going to be alright.” Steve rubs Tony’s back and gives a look to the team  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of it. I love you guys, you are my family.”  
“It’s okay, Tony. We know you didn’t mean it.” Steve says  
“Yeah, Tony. That never happened.” Clint says with a small smile.  
After a long few minutes Tony stops crying and his breath evens out. Steve carries Tony to the bed, and tucks him in. They exit the room.

“I feel so bad.” Clint whispers  
“He’s right, everyone who has died in Tony’s life, he’s been there for it.” Natasha whispers.  
“He’s gonna be okay, he can get through this.” Steve says  
“I know, we know, but he’s been through a lot and I don’t mean just people dying. Do you think he blocks out what happened when he was in the pit?” Clint asks  
“Definitely. He only remembered when-“ Steve cuts himself off.  
“When what?” Clint asks  
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

“Steve.” Bruce says “Just tell us.”  
“He doesn’t want you guys to know. He didn’t want me to know… but it kinda came up.”  
“Came up when?”  
“I can’t tell you.”  
“We won’t tell him we know.” Clint pushes.  
“Guys.” Natasha says “Don’t push Steve into telling you. It’s for Tony to tell us, not him.” Steve gives Nat a nod.  
“Yeah.” Bruce says “Okay.” Clint nods too. After a moment Bruce continues “When he’s awake we should cleanup for him. He doesn’t need to worry about that.”   
“Of course. He’s gonna regret throwing his awards, though.” Clint observes  
“No, I don’t think so. He’s gotten so many, he told me he doesn’t care about them. He said Pepper was the one who put them up there. And we’re redecorating anyway.”  
“We?” Natasha asks and Steve blushes but smiles  
“Yeah. We.” They all shake their head but smile.  
“So when did the whole ‘we’ start. Was it before the pit or after?” Natasha asks curious

“Well, it started before the pit, but was official when he got back.” Steve smiles “When we we’re in California it hit me. That I loved him.”  
“That’s awesome. Really, I’m so happy for you two.” Bruce smiles and looks at Natasha who looks at him. They both look away and Bruce blushes  
“What was that?” Clint asks looking between them “Are you two…?” Bruce is about to say absolutely not, but Natasha beats him  
“Yeah, I think we are.” She smiles and Bruce’s eye shoot up.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, Stark may have talked some sense into me.” Natasha smiles  
“He talked to you too?” Bruce asks “I told him not too.”  
“Wait, Tony knew?” Steve asks  
“He noticed it. I have no idea how.” Natasha smiles.  
“Tony’ gonna be sad he missed this.”  
“Missed what? I’ve been here the whole time.” Tony says opening the door with a grin. “I wanted to hear if you were mad at me. And then the conversation got good so I kept listening.” He shrugs “I knew it. I should be a match maker. Clint, Thor? What do you think?” Clint and Thor’s eyes widen but the team laughs “No, Clint and Phil though. How about that?” Clint’s eye widen and he shakes his head, a little too fast  
“What?” Natasha says reading in-between the lines  
“He didn’t tell you?” Tony smirks  
“No! No! Absolutely not!” Clint protest   
“You’re not fooling anyone. And I know for a fact, that he likes you too. Although he has a crush on Steve too, but not in the same way.”  
“Really?” Clint asks hopeful  
“So you admit it?” Steve gasps  
“Oh yeah.” Tony tells Clint. “I told him to go for it, but then he kinda died so…” Tony shrugs “But now he’s alive. His girlfriend moved to Portland and I think that might be part of the reason.”  
“Hmm.” Clint says and the others gape. “What? What’s the big deal?” everyone shrugs but Tony who is smug.   
“And I know you Thor has eyes for Jane, but I happen to know a very interested women. But I mean what women isn’t.”  
“Yes, I hope one day me and Jane can be together. Right now our work does not permit it.”  
“That’s alright big guy, one day. I could fly you out there, for a weekend, if you’d like?”  
“Thank you, Tony. I will mention this to Jane.” Thor smiles  
“How do you notice this Tony?” Steve asks “You notice every single romance.”  
“I observe people. And the morning Loki attacked, I noticed Phil was really _really_ worried about birdbrain, and when Phil ‘died’ I noticed Clint was… feeling it really hard, so I had an inkling. As for Natasha and Bruce, do you guys not see how they flirt all the time? Literally every time they talk is sexual.”  
“Really?” Steve asks looking between the two  
“Yes old man, really.”  
“Hmm.”  
“I should give you more credit.” Natasha says “I thought you were kind of dumb on the relationship side of things.”  
“Oh no, I am terrible at relationships. But, I happen   to be good at _other_ people’s relationship. But so far, this one’s doing pretty well.” Steve and Tony smile. “When you say California made you realize, can you pinpoint a moment? What I did, that made you realize?” Steve blushes   
“Well, when we uh kissed, and you um wanted to wait… for you know… and you went to shower. That’s when.”  
“Really?! Because literally that was the moment for me. Why didn’t you say anything?"  
“Why didn’t you?” Steve throws back  
“Because I didn’t want to rush you.”  
“I was nervous.” Steve admits.  
“Why are you so embarrassed?” Tony asks “Every time we’re around people and we talk about our relationship you blush? What’s so embarrassing, I love you, we kissed, we showered together.”   
“Tony!” Steve blushes deeper.  
“What?” Tony laughs “We’re all adults here. Like they haven’t ever done any of that.”  
“Shower together?” Thor asks “People here do that?”  
“Oh yeah, it’s great. As long as the showers big enough.” Tony says with a smirk “You know what, next time you see Jane, try it. I’m sure she’d love it.” Tony laughs “Seriously Steve, I love you. I’m not embarrassed on what we do together. I know things were different in the 40’s but… it’s the 21st century.”   
“I know, but still. I think a relationship should be private between the two people.”  
“Yeah I agree on somethings, but like when we say I love you to each other in front of people we shouldn’t be embarrassed."   
“I know, I just need to get used to it, I guess.”  
“I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?” Tony use is crutches up to him and leans on him and kisses him without waiting for a response. After a moment Tony pulls back and steadies himself. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” The Avengers laughs as Steve straightens up and clears his throat.  
“I love it.” Clint laughs Steve sobers for a moment   
“How are you feeling Tony?”  
“Well, this made me feel better. But overall? Lousy. And I need to sit down.” Tony makes his way over to his living room, the Avengers in suit. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it.”  
“We know, Tony. Don’t sweat it.” Steve gives him a small smile  
“I just can’t help but think… maybe if I had just listened to you and went home Sara would be alive. Or in Afghanistan, if I went right Rhodey, maybe the people in my jeep wouldn’t have all died, and I wouldn’t have been taken and Yinsen wouldn’t have died. And with my parents, if I just waited 5 minutes, or if I didn’t distract Jarvis, they wouldn’t have died.” Tony admits  
“You can’t think like that, Tony. What if I was quicker and got to Bucky, he wouldn’t have fallen off that train. You can’t play the what if game, because you never win and it never does any good, but make you feel worse. There is 1,000 different ways something could have happened, but you can’t change it so you just have to believe it wasn’t your fault.”  
“maybe not with the others, but Sara was. She was only there for me. She wouldn’t have been on the road, if it weren’t for me.”  
“I know it feels that way, but it’s not. Tony.”  
“I’m going to have to agree to disagree.” Tony sighs “I just miss her. The funeral is tomorrow, by the way. Her brother texted me earlier. I was wondering if someone would come with me?”  
“Of course, you don’t even have to ask.” Steve responds.  
“Thanks.” Tony sighs “You know, I always thought that after I lost my parents and Jarvis, it wouldn’t matter who I lost because I could get over it, and it wouldn’t faze me. I had already lost everything, I was numb to it. but that’s not true.”  
“No, it isn’t.” Steve sighs  
“Um, I really like to go to meeting… if some would be so kind too drive me?”  
“Sure.” Steve says “Lets go.”  
“Thanks.” Tony gives a small smile as Steve helps him up. Steve nods and they head out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i lost my best friend, i kind of feel like this is how i acted. One moment i was blocking it all out, the next i was sobbing in my room. I'm not really sure how other people grieve, but... this is kinda how i pictured Tony to be... let me know, what you think. Also, i actually really like Howard in the show Agent Carter, but this is how i wanted it to go. And did anyone spot my Supernatural quote? Anyway, thanks for reading.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony have the 'do you want kids talk' Which i did not plan, but it fit in.

Previously:  
“Um, I really like to go to meeting… if some would be so kind too drive me?”  
“Sure.” Steve says “Lets go.”  
“Thanks.” Tony gives a small smile as Steve helps him up. Steve nods and they head out.

~

 

They get to the garage and Steve is about to help Tony get in the care but he stops him.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Steve.” Tony whispers

“You can. And I’ll be here to help you through. Just breath and I’ll distract you the whole way.” Steve say giving a supportive hand on Tony’s back. He takes a deep breath and gets in the car.

Once he’s in Steve runs to the other side and gets in. “You okay?” Tony nods stiffly.

“So Tony, tell me how the magnetic arrows you made for Clint work?”

“You won’t understand.”

“So? Explain it to me anyway.”

“Well, the magnetization if the arrow causes the (A/N I Honestly have no idea how it works I know it’s a giant magnet but that it’s it. I just saw it on CW’s Arrow and thought it was cool. But, It’s late and I’m too lazy to do research. Sorry not sorry :/ anyway do me a solid and pretend I’m explaining this like Tony Stark would. Thanks. End A/N) So basically it’s a giant magnet that’s purpose is to get the guns away from the bad guys, really quickly.”

“That part I got.” Steve chuckles

“Wait, we’ve stopped moving.” Tony looks out the window.

“Yeah we got here 5 minutes ago.” Steve laughs as Tony breaks out laughing

“Thanks.” He gets out of the car and makes his way into the meeting.

Tony doesn’t talk at the meeting. He just listens. He is asked to speak, but he declines. When the meeting is over Steve is waiting for him in the front.  
“How’d it go?” Steve asks

“I’m not allowed to talk about it, Steve.” Tony asks getting in the car.

“I know.” Steve says once in his own side. “I just was wondering if it helped you, or if you I don’t know said something or something. If you wanted to talk.”

“No, I didn’t talk and yes it did help. And no I don’t want to talk.” Steve starts driving home. Tony takes a deep breath telling himself it’ll be fine.

“If there is anything I can do-“

“There’s not. Just… let it drop. Alright?”

“Sure Tony. I’m just trying to help.”

“I know, but there are somethings you can’t fix. That just need time.” Tony takes a breath “When my parents died. Everyone I knew asked me, ‘what can I do to help?’” Tony looks out the window. “But every time I told them nothing. Because, in this situation, there is not a thing a person can do to help. Not a thing. I don’t need casseroles, I don’t need therapy, I don’t need a hug, I just need time and space. Nothing else can help, and that includes you, Steve. I know you want to, but you can’t and asking a thousand times if I need anything, is annoying. If I need anything I’ll ask. Okay?” Tony asks looking at Steve

Steve nods. “Sorry. I just want to make this as easy as possible.”

“She died, Steve. There’s nothing easy about it.” Tony looks out the window again.

“I know. You’re right, it’s just hard, seeing the person you love in pain. It makes me want to fix it.” Steve explains

“That’s just you motherly instincts.” Tony says with a wiry grin Steve looks over at Tony

“Motherly huh?” Steve smiles “I am pretty good with kids.” Steve admits “And I do like them.”

“Wait.” Tony asks nervous “Are we having the ‘I want kids someday conversation’? Because I’d like to know before I say anything else.” Tony sends him a worried glance.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but we I mean we could.” Steve shrugs.

“Do you want kids?” Tony asks nervous.

“Someday, maybe. I always pictured me having a family with a few kids around. I mean since it’s 2012 it’s changed a lot. But I still like the idea. Why? Do you not?” Steve looks at Tony out of the corner of his eye. He’s fiddling with his hands “Hey, Tony. Talk to me?”

“I don’t want kids.” Tony says bluntly “I never have, I don’t think I ever will. I just don’t have that parent gene.” Tony looks down “I’d be a terrible father and I don’t want to fuck up some poor kids life because of me.”

“Tony, you wouldn’t-“

“Just listen to me, Steve. I don’t want kids.” Tony cuts Steve off “I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

“Okay.” Steve says slowly “I think maybe later in our lives, in a few years, maybe you’ll feel different, maybe I will. We don’t have to decide now.”

“Okay.” Tony agrees even though he know he won’t change his mind. “Are we gonna have the marriage conversation too?”

“Sure. One day, do you want to get married?”

“You first.” Tony says like a little kid.

“Alright, yes, I do.” Tony holds a chuckle at the choice of words. “At some point in my life I would like to get married.” Steve looks over at Tony “What about you?” Tony doesn’t answer for a long moment

“I never planned on getting married. I never was too fond of the idea. A lifelong commitment. Plus I never thought I’d meet the right person.” Tony shrugs, “But, I could see marrying you, some day. If you wanted.”

“How long do you think someday is?” Steve wonders aloud

“I don’t think it means any specific time, actually. I think it’s when we both feel ready. It could be a month from now or a year from now or ten years. I don’t think you can set a time on that.”

“Yeah, but one day.” Steve smiles

“Yeah.” Tony agrees “One day.”

~

The next morning Tony is in the car on the way to the funeral with Steve and Bruce. Tony didn’t want the whole team to come, and Bruce came because of Tony’s resolution to spend more time with Bruce. Which maybe a funeral isn’t the best place, but they’re lingering in the back anyway.

Once there, Steve helps Tony out of the car, and he gets out, and heads to the third row. He takes his seat and Steve and Bruce linger in the back.

After a few minutes everyone claims there seat the priest goes up on the makeshift stage.

Tony only half listens to the priest but when her mom walks up Tony pays more attention.

“Sara jasmine Dearborn, my beloved daughter.” Tony listens to her words, holding back his cries. Tony realizes, he didn’t know much about her. He really only talked about himself. He’s so enwrapped with everyone’s words. He smiles. After the ceremony is over, Tony decides hes going home. Not stay and chat. He walks over to Steve and Bruce

“Come on, let’s go home.”

“Aren’t you gonna-“

“I’ve gotten everything I needed.” Tony says getting in the car.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Tony gives a small smile “I’m sure.”

After one last look, Steve and Bruce get in the car.

“Steve, when we get back, I need to talk to you.”

“Okay. We can.”

The ride back is silent and Tony looks out the window feeling better then he has in days.

Once home Tony looks to Bruce and Steve

“Thanks for taking me. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome Tony.” Bruce nods

“Yeah, no worries.”

“Steve, can I talk to you.” Tony asks and Steve nods. Bruce makes his exit.

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really times a thousand sorry. I seem to be taking out all my anger and pain on you. And you don’t deserve that.”

“I know you don’t mean it Tony. You’re grieving and you need an outlet.” Steve gives Tony a small smile. “And it just so happens to be me. If that’s what you need from me, that’s what I can be.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. And one of the nicest.” Tony pulls Steve in for a kiss. “I love you.” Tony mumbles into the kiss. “I love you so much.” Tony breaks the kiss.

“I love you too. And any way I can be of assistance. I just want to help you get back to normal.”

“I know, and since I’ve been so mean to you, let’s forget about the cemetery incident, I’m over it. With everything that’s happened.” Tony gives Steve a half smile

“Thank you. And I am sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay.” Tony kisses Steve again long and slow. Only after they need air do they pull back

“I need to get some work done.”

“Are you sure? It was a tough morning?” Steve asks

“Yeah, I need to go back to normal. I can’t dwell on things or I’ll feel worse. Plus, I didn’t cook yesterday so I have to cook tonight.” Tony adds

“No, we’ll cook for you.” Steve says “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I want to, didn’t you hear what I just said?” Tony says shaking his head.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. And you could pick up the ingredients, to help?”

“Sure, just give me a list.” Steve smiles

“I’ll text it to you.” Tony nods. “Actually, I’ll text it to Bruce. You’re still not great with texting.” Steve nods in appreciation. “Alright, I better get to my lab.” Steve nods

“Love you.”

“You too.”

Tony heads to his lab and the next few hours are painstaking. Not being able to move where he wants as quickly as he wants. It’s just his luck that all his boards are deisgined to be the perfect height… when he’s standing. So he can’t even sit down. At the third hour of struggling to stand and work, there is a knock on the door.

“Come in.” JARVIS opens the door and Steve walks in.

“Hey, I was just thinking how la- What are you doing?” Steve asks Tony who is balancing on one leg working the equations.

“What do you mean? I’m working,” Tony replies shifting

“Shouldn’t you be sitting down? Not hobbling on one leg? You’re gonna fall, Tony.” Steve asks concerned.

“Nah, I have great balance, see?” And in Tony’s case the past 6 times he’s done it he didn’t fine, but this time when he hops over towards the chairs on one leg, his leg lands wrong and he goes tumbling to the ground with a thud. Tony groans.

“Tony?!” Steve runs over and feels up his body for injuries

“No offense, Steve, I’m not in the mood to get frisky.” Tony says with a slight laugh.

“What?” Steve sighs  “Tony. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean, I don’t want to say it, but I told you so.”

“Hey, I’ve been fine the past 3 hours.”

“You’ve been standing on one leg for 3 hours?”

“Well… yeah so?”

“That’s not the road to recovery.”

“Eh, I’m fine. Give me a hand?” Tony stretches out a hand Steve basically picks him up and helps him to chair.

“Thanks loser.” Tony cracks his knuckles and Steve gives him a curious look.

“What? No ones ever called you a loser before?”

“Well, um-“

“Oh I see. They did before you got all Strong and tall and hero like and hot” Tony’s eyes go into a daze looking at Steve “and sexy and muscular and perfect and big and steamy and voluptuous and attractive and-“

“Tony.” Steve laughs “Did you have a point?”

“Point? Oh right. No one called you a loser after you became… all those things.”

“Yeah, basically.”

“Anyway, what’d you come down to tell me?”

“You didn’t eat lunch. Or breakfast, for that matter.” Tony rolls his eyes.

“So? I’m not hungry. I’ll let you know when I am plus I’m cooking in like an hour, you got everything yeah?”

“I did. Well, I brought you come pretzels…” Steve looks at the floor where they spilled “but you uh fell and they uh fell. I can go get you some more though.”

“It’s alright. Give me… 10 and I’ll be up.”

“I’ll just wait here.” Steve says sitting on the couch pulling out his sketch pad.

Tony rolls his eyes. But continues to work. After 15 minutes Steve looks up to Tony who is just staring at the screen.

“Tony?”

“Mmm.” He says tilting his head.

“It’s been more than 10 minutes.”

“Yup.”

“Why are you just staring at the screen?”

“Because I don’t understand.” Steve looks at the screen and sees a lot of technical terms, numbers and symbols.

“What don’t you get?”

“The math. The math doesn’t make sense. It should work, it’s telling me it works, but it’s not working. JARVIS there is no mistake in my math correct?”

“It appears not.”

“Any ideas why it’s not working?” He looks at the screen and then his tools.

“Not that I can see. Although the wiring could just be faulty.”

“it’s not the wiring, it’s not the parts. I’ve replaced all of them. It’s not making sense.”

“I have to concur, Sir.” JARVIS goes quiet.

“So what could it be?”

JARVIS doesn’t respond.

“It doesn’t make sense Steve.” Tony leans on the counter.

“Well, I have no idea.” Steve says with a shrug “but maybe you could ask Bruce?” Tony sighs

“I have. He didn’t know either.”

“huh.”

“I just…”

“What is it anyway?” Tony gives Steve a weary look

“I don’t know… if I should tell you.” Steve frowns

“Why? It’s not dangerous is it? You can’t blow yourself up from it, right?”

“No.” Tony scoffs “That only happened once… maybe twice.” Steve gives Tony a look

“It was actually on 7 different occasions that you blew yourself up.” JARVIS say

“Traitor.”

“Oh my god, you’re going to kill yourself!”

“Dum-E is on the Fire extinguisher when I work with explosives and fire. Although you should be worried about me, he tends douse me when I’m not even on fire.” Tony says with a sigh and Bum-E looks down. “it’s alright I’m not giving you away. I promise.” The robot looks up happy again Steve rolls his eyes and shakes his head

“You never told me why I can’t know.”

“Because I can’t.” Tony throws his hands up “Just trust me.” Steve peers over at the table but can’t decipher anything.

“Fine, I trust you. But I don’t like the secrets.”

“You’ll like this one.” Tony says with a smug grin. “If I can get it to work.” Tony shrugs.

“Come on, we’re going upstairs.”

“No, I’m not done yet.”

“Tony, I’m going give you food, water and then you can come back. I will carry you up.” Steve threatens

“Well, you’re going to have to because I’m not leaving.” Tony says turning back to the screen but Steve grabs him by the stomach and legs and picks him up bridal style.

“Dude! Put me down!” Tony struggles in his grip

“I wasn’t joking. So no.” Steve starts walking towards the door.

“Seriously?” Tony gives him a ‘are you fucking serious right now’ look

“Yes. I am.” Tony sighs and throws his head back.

“Dude.” As promised Steve carries Tony upstairs and places him in the chair with an exasperated look on his face. The Avengers just chuckle “This isn’t funny.” Tony pouts.

“Oh yes, yes it is.” Clint laughs.

“I don’t enjoy being manhandled… well, that’s not entirely true.” He adds a smirk.

The avengers shake their head a laugh, but Steve who blushes.

“Seriously?” Tony asks Steve. “Stop blushing.”

“They don’t to know about our sex life!” Steve protests

“What sex life?” Is out of Tony’s mouth before he can stop it. Then everyone goes quiet and then Tony clears his throat and blushes.

“Not to be nosy, but you guys haven’t…?” Clint asks and Tony sends him eye daggers “Because like, you’ve been together for a pretty long time. I was sure Tony would have convinced you by now Cap.”

“Tony was actually-“

“Shut up!” Tony pushes Steve. “They don’t need to know.” They all turn to Tony

 “Tony?” Natasha asks surprised. “Really? Like not joking?” Tony really regrets letting Steve carry him up because he can’t even leave without his crutches.

“Really.” Tony glares hoping they drop it.

“I would have thought I’d be Steve stopping you…” Bruce joins in “Why not?”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s any of your business. This is between me and Steve.” He looks for Steve for help but he’s not looking at him.

“Seriously though, we’re all adults here. Almost all of us have had sex… sorry Steve.” Clint adds. “Just tell us.”

“No! Now stop asking!” Tony takes a deep shaky breath “Just stop okay?” Steve finally looks at Tony who is clenching his fingers and is looking like he’s on the verge of a panic attack

“Stop it guys. Seriously.” He turns to Tony “They’re not gonna ask anymore. Okay? You’re okay.” He puts his hand on Tony closes his eyes takes a deep breath and nods.

“We’re uh sorry Tony.” Bruce says softly “We shouldn’t have pushed.”

“Yeah you were right, it’s none of our business anyway.” Clint adds

They all agree

“Tony, you alright?” Steve ask softly

“I’m fine. Take me upstairs though?” tony whispers

“Course.” Steve says picking Tony up. “We’ll see you guys later.”

Once Steve puts Tony on the bed he moves away from him.

“What the fuck Steve? What the actually fuck?”

“What?” Steve asks

“You know, you know what happened and I told you, I don’t want them to know, so why the fuck did you let them keep questioning me when I was telling them to stop. You should have done something! You should have made them stop!”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t… you’re right and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Steve gives Tony an apologetic glance.

“Well what the hell are they going to think now?” Tony asks a Steve shrugs

 

Meanwhile

“What just happened?” Clint asks as soon as Steve and Tony are out of hearing range.

“I don’t know…” Bruce says

“Well, obviously they aren’t have sex, but why?” Natasha wonders. “Tony loves sex, why doesn’t he want it with Steve?”

“Maybe he’s nervous?” Clint offers

“Tony, nervous about sex?” Bruce asks “I don’t think so.”

“Well, then what could it be?” Clint asks

”I dunno.” Natasha mumbles “it’s so unlike him. I don’t see a reason why he wouldn’t want sex. Especially if Steve did. Tony’s been pinning for him before he was even found.”

“Well, what could have changed that?” Clint asks and they get lost in thought.

“oh.” Bruce says. “Oh shit.” Bruce had put two and two together. When Steve on the stairs says ‘he blocks it out except for-‘ that must be it. He remember something when he was in the pit… which means… “Oh double shit.”

“What?” they ask

“Did you figure it out?”

“I think so.” Bruce whispers “And Its not good.”

“Well, what is it?” Natasha pushes and Bruce hesitates. Is it betraying Tony telling them what he figured out?

“I need to talk to Tony first.” Bruce says standing.

 

Tony is laying on his back staring at the ceiling when he hears a knock on the door.

“Tony? Steve?” Bruce asks sticking his head in.

“Steve’s in the bathroom, but you can come in.” He enters the bedroom and sits down in the chair.

“What’s up?” Tony asks

“I think I may have figured it out.” Tony looks over to him

“What?”

“Why you don’t want sex.” Tony doesn’t answer and Bruce pushes forward “last week, we were talking-“

“Who is we?”

“Everyone but you.” Bruce says “Um, we were talking and you were brought up… and we were thinking if you just blocked everything out from the time where you were… away.” Bruce licks his lips nervously “And Steve said you block it out except, and then he cut himself off and wouldn’t say anything else.” Tony is just staring at the ceiling. “I put two and two together and just thought-“

“Who did you tell? About your theory?” Tony says sitting up.

“No one. Just you.” Bruce gives tony a soft smile “Is it true? Were you-“

“Don’t say it.” Tony cuts him off. “If I don’t say it, it didn’t happen.” Tony whispers the second half

“Oh Tony.” Bruce says as Steve exits the bathroom.

“Does he…?” Steve asks lightly

“He figured it out. But no one else knows, and I’d like to keep it that way.” His eyes flicker over to Bruce. Who nods.

“I just… they’ll figure it out eventually.” Bruce says “But I won’t tell them.” Tony nods and goes back to examining the ceiling. “Maybe you should talk to someone about it.”

“Absolutely not.” Tony says

“I tried too, Bruce. He won’t even say it. He won’t even let me say it.”

“That’s right, because if I don’t say it, it didn’t happen.” Tony nods to himself

“That’s not how it works.” Bruce says softly

“Yes it is. That’s exactly how it works. If I don’t admit it, i don’t think about it, I don’t talk it, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Obviously it does if you aren’t having sex.”

“That is none of your concern. I’m fine. The system works.”

“I think the system is broken.” Bruce says after a moment “if you do want to talk… to someone who isn’t Steve, you know I’m here for you.”

“I know, but I don’t need to talk. I’m fine.” Bruce looks over at Steve who has a frown on his face. He looks at Bruce and gives a shrug.

“They have councilors and groups.”

“For women.” Tony points out. “No one thinks it can happen to men.”

Bruce and Steve look at each other again

“Most people. There is support for men too.”

“No there’s really not.” Tony says “Because what man doesn’t want sex? What man doesn’t like it, doesn’t enjoy?” Tony rolls his eyes “That’s what everyone will say. And I’m not even acknowledging it happened, remember?” Bruce gives Tony one last look but nods

“What are we doing for dinner? Tony are you still cooking?”

“No.” Tony says “I’m not.”

“Well, what are we having?” Bruce ask

“I don’t care.” Steve says

“I’ll just boil some pasta then.” Bruce says  “I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” Bruce gives one last look to Tony and leaves.

“Tony-“ Steve starts

“I’m not talking about it.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Steve replies

“Okay then what?” Tony asks looking over to Steve.

“I just wanted you to know that I love you. No matter what.” Steve gives Tony and smile.

“Same, I love you too.” Steve crawls into bed with Tony and Tony snuggles up in Steve’s chest. “I love you so much.” Tony whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When my friend died, my mom kept asking what she can do. That was how i explained it to her.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short, but the next one is fully written i'm posting it tomorrow. Sorry in advanced... but i can say it won't be like it is for too long. (i'm so bad at remembering the previously tbh)

Previously:

“I just wanted you to know that I love you. No matter what.” Steve gives Tony and smile.

“Same, I love you too.” Steve crawls into bed with Tony and Tony snuggles up in Steve’s chest. “I love you so much.” Tony whispers

 

A week later Tony is back on both his feet and is feeling much better.

“Steve!” Tony calls “I did it!” He smiles “I figured it out, I figured out what was wrong with my project!” Tony grins

“That’s awesome. I won’t even ask what was wrong because I probably won’t understand.” Steve smiles

“True, but I can tell you what it is now. Go grab your shield and meet me back here.” Steve gives Tony a curious look but nods and turns away.

After a few minutes of prepping the glove Steve comes back in with the shield. He hands it to Tony who sticks something on it.

“Okay.” Tony says “Put this glove on.” He hands Steve the glove. He looks at it curious but complies. “Now when I say so tap your middle finger and your thumb.” Steve nods and Tony holds the shield and goes to the corner of the room and puts the shield down. “Okay, now.” The shield flies towards Steve and locks in his hand, and Steve gapes. “Well? What do you think?”

“That’s amazing! That will be so useful in battles. Oh my god, Tony. I love it.” Tony grins.

“So far I can only get it from 10 yards, but I’m working on getting it farther.”

“30 feet? That’s great on its own. Thank you.” Tony smiles and pulls Steve in for a long kiss. After a moment Tony pulls back and sighs.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks

“Nothing.” Tony sighs “Nothing, and that’s the problem.” Steve gives Tony a confused look

“Nothing? Isn’t that good.”

“No. Steve, because it’s not going to stay good forever. I have this overwhelming feeling in my chest that it’s gonna happen soon. Someone is getting shot, very, _very,_ soon. And I think it’s going to be me. And I don’t want it to be. But I don’t want it to be anyone else.” Tony puts his head in his hand “I just want it to happen already. The anxiety of it is killing me, Steve. I can’t take these visions.” Tony looks up “Knowing something bad is going to happen is worse than not knowing. Yeah maybe you have a chance to change it, but Thor said they’re unchangeable. So what’s the point besides giving me major anxiety? I don’t like this Steve. I can’t take it.” Steve pulls Tony in for a hug.

“I know, Tony.” Steve kisses Tony’s head. “We’ll find a way to get rid of them. Maybe we can ask Thor again to look for something. And maybe you can get something for the anxiety? They have medicine now, right? We could talk to a doctor-“

“No.” Tony takes a step back “I don’t want to take a prescription, I’ll just deal with it.”

“Okay, you don’t have to it was just an idea.” Steve grabs Tonys hands and pulls him in. Tony wraps his arms around Steve and smiles. Just as he does he feels that horrible pain in his head.

 

~

_“Tony?” he hears Natasha asks “Is it true?”_

_“No.” Tony denies_

_“Tony.” Bruce says softly “It’s okay we just want to know.”_

_“Well I’m pissed.” Clint shouts “It’s obviously his fault. He designed the damn thing.”_

_“I didn’t do it! Okay? It wasn’t me, you’re wrong!” Tony shouts pushing Clint back_

_“Tony, it’s okay.” Steve puts a comforting hand on Tony shoulder who shakes it off angrily_

_“Don’t touch me. I don’t care what you all think. It’s not true. I didn’t do it. I swear. I swear to you.” Tony gives Steve what’s supposed to be an honest look. “Steve I promise. Please believe me.”_

_“Tony.” Steve sighs “I want to, but who else could have?” Tony closes his eyes_

_“I don’t know but it wasn’t me. Why don’t you believe me? Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me?”_

_“It’s not that we don’t believe you…” Bruce’s voice fades out_

_“You don’t believe me either.” Tony shakes his head. “Screw you all. I thought we trusted each other.”_

_“That was before you created a bomb that killed 18 people.” Clint glares._

_“Fuck you. I’m telling you I didn’t do it.” Tony stands up “I don’t need this. I don’t need you, I don’t any of you!” Tony gives one last look to the team who looks down. “I’ll figure it out on my own.” Tony heads for the elevator_

_“Tony…” Steve says_

_“Shut up. You’re the worst of all of them. I thought you loved me. I thought you trusted me. I guess I was wrong.” Tony shakes his head and is about to close the elevator door when._

~

“Tony? Tony?” Steve’s voice brings him to the presents

“Stop shouting. I’m fine.” Tony says sitting up. “how’d we get up here?” he asks seeing the kitchen.

“Oh, I brought you up here when you were having your vision.” Steve says sitting back relaxing “Does it hurt? When you have them?”

“Not really. It’s like this intense pressure in my head for about 3 seconds and then I don’t feel anything. It’s not too bad. What does it look like for you?”

“Well, your face is all crunched up like you’re in pain, which is maybe why I get so worried. But if it doesn’t hurt, then I won’t be as freaked next time.” Tony nods “Thor is on his way to see if we can do anything about the visions.” Tony nods “Anyway, what did you see?”

“it was-“ Tony cuts himself off and Steve tilts his head “I… I can’t tell you.” Tony’s not sure Steve can’t know, he’s just sure he’s not supposed to.

“What? Why not?” Steve asks

“Because you can’t know.”

“Why? Do I die?” Steve asks quickly

“Don’t you think I’d be freaking out if you died?” Steve nods

“Yeah, true. So why not?”

“I just can’t. I’m sorry I can tell you no one dies. But we’re all there and… yeah. We were all there and physically okay.”

“What about-“ Thor enters the room cutting Steve off

“I am here. What can I do to help?”

“Well-“ Steve starts

“If I have visions of two different things, do they go in order or like can the first vision happen like a week later then the second?” Tony asks cutting Steve off

“The time line does not matter. You could have a vision about something a month from now, and then something a week from now after.” Thor explains

Tony nods “Alright.”

“Yes Steve, I believe you were saying something?”

“Well, Tony and I were wondering if there was anything to get rid of the visions.” Tony looks hopeful to Thor

“Not that I have heard of. But why would you want to? It gives you time to prepare for what is happening. It could help us prepare for the outcome. It is very helpful.” Thor says

“But you’re saying they’re going to be with me, forever?”

“No.” Thor says and Tony sighs in relief. “They will be with you until you pass.”

“What?” Tony asks “I thought that… ugh. You can’t talk to momma Thor? She’s like a witch or something right? She can fix me.” Tony nods hopeful

“Anthony, what has happened is permanent. It was not a spell that bound you to vision. It was not magic or witchcraft. It was your mind trying to cope with what it saw.”

“So if it was Steve, let’s just say, who went it in, it would be the same for him?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. But still permanent?”

“Yes.”

Tony slumps in defeat. He slides off the kitchen stool and heads for the coffee pot.

“Coffee?” Steve asks

“When I want a drink I have coffee instead.” Tony explains and Steve nods. He sighs again waiting for it to brew.

“Is there anything that can suppress them?” Steve asks hopeful

“No, there is nothing you can do to stop them, even if only for a little while.” Thor says regretfully.  Tony grabs his coffee and takes a nice long sip.

“Sorry, Tony.”

“Is there a way I can figure out when it’s going to happen?” Tony asks turning around

“Well.” Thor thinks “The only way that would work is if you have the visions more often. You can piece together a date that way, but other than that? No.” Tony nods

“Someone is getting shot soon and I don’t like it.” Tony takes another sip of his coffee

“Well, the only way we can push it up is someone to bake cake.” Steve says “Do you want me to bake it?”

“Not today.” Tony says

“Well, when?”

“3 days from now.” Tony nods deciesivly

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it just felt like the right answer.” Tony explains honestly

“Then that is the day to do it.” Thor says

“Alright. What’s that a Tuesday?” Steve asks and Tony nods “Alright. Well, it’s not like we have jobs.” Tony gives Steve a look

“Sorry, it’s not like most of have jobs.” Tony nods

“So, three days from now.” They all agree.

 

Three days come fairly quickly in Tony’s mind. It was a lot of work, coffee and anxiety. About who is getting shot, where everyone is, and what going to happen to him.

But everyone is eating Steves cake while Tony is in his lab.

“Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting that you come up.”

“Tell him it’s a no go.”

“He is saying if you do not come up, he is coming down.”

“Tell him no, that I’m not supposed to be up there but he is. Tell him I can feel it.”

“I have informed him and he seems distressed.”

“Imagine how I feel.” Tony quickly starts distracting himself and before he knows it it’s late in the evening.

“What time is it, J?”

“It is 11:57.”

“6 minutes.” Tony mumbles. “I better head up.” Tony takes a deep shakey breath and heads to the elevator. He waits a few minutes before he feels it’s the time to get on it. The elevator takes him up and he tries to calm his panic.

 

“Steve?” tony asks entering the common area, which is eerily dark “Natasha? Clint?” He takes out his phone for the flashlight wondering why the lights aren’t automatically coming on ‘oh shit’ he thinks “Thor? Bruce?” No answer. “JARVIS, where is everyone?” The ceiling is eerily and usually quiet “JARVIS?” Tony slowly enters the kitchen. He rounds it with his fist ready. And nothing is there. “Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.”

 

“Where is everyone?” He lowers his hands “What the hell is going on.” He looks at the clock on the stove. 12:03. “Okay, they could be on their own floors… but why are the lights of and what happened to JARVIS.” He goes to the corner and grabs a kitchen knife, better to protect himself with something other than his fists.

 

He heads for the living room, where he sees empty bowls, half drunken cup, and half eaten cake lying around. They got the patry they wanted.

“Shit shit shit..” Tony tries to calm his mind. He can’t panic. Not now. He needs to be level headed. He takes a deep breath and keeps heading away from the kitchen.

All of a sudden the elevator door opens and he sees a blurry figure. He hears two distinctive gun shots and he panics. He freezes and then hears a thud behind him. He turns around and sees a unfamiliar man in a mask with a knife fallen on the floor.

“Holy shit, I’m not dead… I did almost died, though.” Turning back to the blurry figure he sees “ _Phil_. What are you doing here? What the hell is going on?”

“You tell me, where the hell is your team?”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t in contact with them all day. Why are you here?” Tony asks looking around

“I got an alert from a blocked number saying I needed to be here.” Tony pulls out his phone and call Steve

“Tony?” Steve answers after the first ring.

“I didn’t die, Steve. I’m okay. Where are you?”

“I’m in our room. I’m coming down.”  
“We’re under attack. Bring your shield and call the team. JARVIS isn’t working.”

“Okay. Stay where you are.”

“Okay. Be careful.”

“You too.”

“Let me see the message.” Tony tells Phil who hands him his cellphone.

‘Avengers tower ASAP. lives depend on it. 17th floor. Sent 11:17’

“Who knew it was this floor?”

The elevator door ding and Phil points the gun at the door when it opens it steve

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine. And Coulson shot this guy who was about to kill me for reasons unknown. Coulson got a mysterious text telling him to be here so he is. All I know.” Bruce is next one in. soon followed by the the team

“Clint, come with me, we’re going to get the lights back on, and JARVIS up and running. The rest of you stay here and figure out what the hell is going on.”

“I can’t help so why am I coming?” Clint asks

“Because I can’t fight while I’m working. I need you to back me up. Lets go.” Clint nods and they make their way to the fuse box on the otherside of the floor. He resets the switch and it goes on

“huh. That was easier then i-“ Clints voice is cut off by a gun shot they both turn worried towards it.

“I need to get JARVIS back up, which we need to go to my lab.” Clint looks at Tony and nods and they head for the stairs.

They don’t see anyone on the way and get there in no problem

“Is this the only door?” Clint asks

“No, there is an emergency exit on the other side. But it stays locked from that side. They could force it open though.” Clint nods as Tony gets to work a few minutes later JARVIS is back online.

“JARVIS?”

“I am here, Sir. I am unaware of who and how they disconnected me.”

“Alright, where is everyone else?”

“They are currently on the common floor making a plan.”

“Is there anyone unauthorized in the building?”

“On your floor there appear to be two masked men.” Tony looks at Clint who nods

“JARVIS, deploy.” The iron man suit comes flying out of the walls.

“All systems are go.”

“Let’s go. Inform the team what is going on.”

“Yes, Sir

“And have Bruce get the comms up.”

Clint and Tony carefully make their way up to the pent house.

“Where are they J?”

“They are in the kitchen.” JARVIS informs. He motions for Clint to go the other side he slowly makes his way to the front when he see’s two men sitting in the chair.

“Don’t… Kevin? Tyler?” Tony reconizes the men “What the fuck are you doing here?” Tony lifts his face plate.

“You know these guys?” Clint asks lowering his bow, only slightly

“You never told him about us?” Kevin fakes looking hurt.

“What the fuck do you want? And why the hell did you break in.”

“We needed to talk to you.” Tyler says standing

“No. If you wanted to talk you should have called.”

“We did, Tone. We-“

“It’s Tony.” Tony tells Kevin

“Tony. You didn’t answer our calls.”

“Maybe that should have been a clue that I didn’t want to see you.” Tony says sighing

“it’s been years Tony. I know we were wrong, but-“

“No. No, just shut up.” Tony shakes his head. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing. We just needed to talk to you. no one is under attack.”

“Tell that to the guy who got shot downstairs.” Clint says and Tony gives him a back off look.

“You shot Isaac?” tyler asks not even sad

“He tried to kill me.” Tony says

“No he was supposed to get you up here.”

“He had a knife.” Tony points

“To threaten you.”

“That’s not the point.” Tony takes deep breath. “What are you here for?” Kevin scratches his ear. “What?”

“Maybe he shouldn’t here…” Tyler nods to Clint.

“Clint go tell the others what’s going on. I’ll be down shortly.” Clint gives a look but nods. After he’s gone Tony looks at his two old friends. “What?”

“Look, we got into this situation-“ Kevin starts

“What kind of situation?”

“We did something stupid, okay!” Tyler shouts “We didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“What did you do, and what do you need me for.”

“You remember Karen?” Tony gives a swift nod. “She’s dead.” Tony takes a controlling breath

“What did you do?”

“It wasn’t supposed to-“

“What did you do!?” Tony shouts.

“We uh… we needed money. So we figured we’d just you know… rob a bank.” Tony takes a painful breath. “The security guard shot her. We barely got out.” Tyler looks at Kevin. “Look, we need a place to stay or some money to leave the country.”

“No.” Tony says “I’m not helping you.”

“Come on Tony, you’re the only one we can go to.” Tyler begs

“NO! I’m going to call the police, if you don’t leave now.” Tony threatens

“Look, we’re really sorry for everything we did to you. We never meant for it to get out of hand.” Kevin says “We just need you to help-“

“No, JARVIS inform the police that their suspects are here.”

“Wait! No. Just-“

“We’re leaving.” Tyler cuts off Kevin. “And we really are sorry.” There is an awkward pause and then Tyler grabs Kevin and they head for the elevator. “See you around.”

“God I hope not.” The door shuts

“Should I let the police know what is going on?” JARVIS asks and Tony pauses.

“Yes. Let them know they are exiting the Avengers Tower.” Tony swallows thickly

“I have placed the call.” JARVIS informs.

“Thanks.” Tony says glumly.

“The rest of the team is waiting for you on the common floor. Should I tell them to wait?”

 Tony takes a deep breath. “I’m going.” Tony takes off his iron man suit and sends it back into the wall. He slowly makes his way down. The Avengers all run to Tony who shakes them off.

“It’s fine. They’re dealt with.” Tony says plopping on the couch.

“Who were they and what did they want?” Steve asks sitting next to him.

“People from my past.” Tony says sighing “The police are probably going to be here soon asking questions. Maybe phil, you could take care of it?” Tony asks Phil who nods and turns to his phone.

“Why are the police involved Tony?” Tony rests his head in his hand

“Because I had JARVIS call them when they left.”

“Can you tell us the full story?” Clint asks

“They had robbed a bank. Someone died… someone I knew, who robbed it with them. They wanted to stay here or have money. I said no. I told them to leave. I had JARVIS phone the police.”

“When I was up there it seemed like they did something to you back when you knew them.” Clint asks

“Yeah, they did. But it’s been 20 years. They deserve to be in jail.”

“Who died?”

“Karen. Basically my best friend when I was at MIT. She got into some serious shit when we were graduating. It really fucked her up. I tried to help, offered her money for help, she refused and severed all connections.”

“What kind of stuff?” Bruce asks softly

“It started off as a alcoholism but soon into addiction. I stopped she didn’t.”

“What do you mean you stopped?” Steve’s  
“I only did it a few times 4 tops, but she loved it. She was doing it 3 times as often as me and I could see what it was doing to her. I stopped because I didn’t want that to happen to me, I tried to help her. I was stupid. She said she’d get treatment if I gave her the money.” Tony shakes his head. “She used it to buy more.”

“What was it?”

“Coke.” Tony rolls his eyes as he shakes his head. “I was 17 and had some issues. But I stopped, almost right away. She didn’t. She was on heroine not soon after. I hoped she’d get better. It’s such a shame she was really smart. But after… that’s what I didn’t want to happen to me.” There’s a moment of silence absorbing what tony said.

“And what did Kevin and Tyler do to you?” Steve asks

“Well, Tyler was dating her at the time… she supported her addiction and in return… I wouldn’t call it dating but… but Kevin was trying to get me to smoke with them. Said it wasn’t bad because it was pot not coke. I didn’t want too. I wasn’t that person. They said fine, as long as I gave them money… Well let’s just say they don’t like no.” tony shrugs “They were really high at the time, didn’t realize what they were doing, not defending them, but if they were sober they wouldn’t have done it.”

“What did they do?” Bruce asks

“It’s really not-“

“What did they do?” Steve persists.

“Tried to get ransom…”

“They kidnapped you?”

“Well, sorta… but really it doesn’t bother me, I just hate them, and they deserved to go to jail. Really, it’s not a big deal.”

“What do you mean tried?”

“Howard doesn’t pay ransoms. Stopping giving me that look. I was only there for 36 hours because they sobered a little and realized what they were doing. Look, it’s really not a big deal. I’m fine. That’s why I sent them away.”

“Oh my god, Tony.”

“Literally fine. Not a big deal. They didn’t do anything to me. I was fine then I even made it to my test in time. They dropped out not to long after and I never heard from them again… until last week when they supposably called. JARVIS blocked it for me. Thanks. And then tonight.”

“Why-“

“Because it’s not a big deal.” Tony answers Steve. “It didn’t traumatize me. It didn’t fuck me up. I didn’t think to tell you. Seriously. It’s not a big deal. It’s not even a small deal. I’m good.”

“Ton-“  
“Steve.” Natasha cuts him off “Look at him. Does he look like he’s lying? Like this is seriously bothering him. Or does he look like it really doesn’t bother him anymore?”  
“The latter.” Steve nods.

“I’m really okay Steve. Really, I’d tell you if something was wrong. I promise.” Tony says and Steve nods. “I assume SHIELD can take care of the body?” Tony asks Coulson who nods from the phone. “Alright… I want cake now.” Tony has that puppy dog look on his face directed at Steve who laughs.

“We saved you a piece.” Tony and Steve head for the kitchen while the others stay.

“I also want coffee.” Tony nods as Steve gets him the slice.  
“I’ll make you a cup. I’m really glad you’re okay. I was so worried.”

“I know. Me too. But It’s over now.” And damn tony really shouldn’t have said that because the next thing they know a bomb goes off in the distance and the Avengers alarm comes to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo as promised. Most of the next chapter is done to so if i don't post it today, it will be up tomorrow. Hope you enjoy

Previously:

“I know. Me too. But It’s over now.” And damn tony really shouldn’t have said that because the next thing they know a bomb goes off in the distance and the Avengers alarm comes to life.

~ 

 

Steve gives Tony and exasperated look, but then they jump into action.

Since they’re already in uniform they head straight for the quinjet.

“What’s going on?” They ask Fury as soon as Tony gets comms up

“There was a bombing at Madison Square Garden. We need you to get there and try and figure out who did this and find them. ASAP.”

“It was a Stark bomb.” Tony whispers in realization that’s why the think it was him. “Fuck.” Now they think he knew about it before hand which is probably what made them think it was his fault to begin with. They give him a ‘what the fuck’ look

“It wasn’t-“

“How do you know it was a Stark bomb?” Fury asks through the phone. “We don’t know that yet, so how are you so certain?”

“Okay, if you just let me-“

“We need to move, there are people hurt. We can talk about what Stark did when we get back.” Natasha cuts him off

“but it wasn’t-“

“ _Later._ We need to help.” Tony sighs but nods flying out of the jet.

“J, turn my comm off, but monitor it.”

“If I may advise-“

“You may not.”

“Yes, Sir.” Tony heads for the center of the explosion and starts moving debris to find people. Slowly he makes his way and helps trapped citizens. Slowly but painstakingly they get everyone out. It’s about 7 am when they finish. The group at the jet. Everyone sits in a seat expect Tony who lays on the ground.

“You know-“ Tony starts talking but Natasha cuts him off

“Maybe you shouldn’t talk right now.”

“But-“

“Tony. Just… don’t.” Steve whispers and Tony shakes his head.

“I’m outta here.” Tony takes off and heads for the tower.

“J, turn off my comm completely. And I’m not going to debriefing to get yelled at for something I didn’t do. Oh and text Steve he can sleep in his own floor when we get back.”

“I will, Sir.” Tony nods and heads straight for his bed.

He doesn’t even shower before he’s in bed sleeping.

When he wakes up JARVIS tells him the time.

“6? 6 pm? I slept for 8 and a half hours without waking up?”

“Yes, most of the team is just waking up or has just recently awoke.”

“Alright, I’m taking a shower. When everyone is awake and appears to be in a talking mood let me know.” Tony says undressing

After his long shower he gets dressed and is about to head to his lab when JARVIS speaks up

“Then rest of the team is in the kitchen on the common floor about to eat. Now would be the ideal time to talk.”

“They didn’t invite me.” Tony mumbles “they didn’t even ask me if I wanted to eat anything.”

“Let me know when they are just about done eating.”

“May i-“

“No. Let me know.”

“I will, Sir.” Tony heads to his lab and is about start a new project when he shakes his head

“I’m not making shit for any of you.” He shakes his head. “JARVIS where are they in the meal?”

“They are about half way through.”

“I’m not waiting for them to finish fuck that.” Tony heads for the elevtor angrily. He taps his foot impatiaenlt until the door opens

“What the fuck?” He says not even out of the elevator. “Really? You guys are such fucking dicks. You didn’t even call me to eat? Really?”

“Tony.” Steve says standing up “Look.”

“Shut the fuck, Steve. You’re the worst of em all. I can’t fucking believe you.”

 “Tony?” Natasha asks “Is it true?”

“No.” Tony denies

“Tony.” Bruce says softly “It’s okay we just want to know.”

“Well I’m pissed.” Clint shouts “It’s obviously his fault. He designed the damn thing.”

“I didn’t do it! Okay? It wasn’t me, you’re wrong!” Tony shouts pushing Clint back

“Tony, it’s okay.” Steve puts a comforting hand on Tony shoulder who shakes it off angrily

“Don’t touch me. I don’t care what you all think. It’s not true. I didn’t do it. I swear. I swear to you.” Tony gives Steve what’s supposed to be an honest look. “Steve I promise. Please believe me.”

“Tony.” Steve sighs “I want to, but who else could have?” Tony closes his eyes

“I don’t know but it wasn’t me. Why don’t you believe me? Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me?”

“It’s not that we don’t believe you…” Bruce’s voice fades out

“You don’t believe me either.” Tony shakes his head. “Screw you all. I thought we trusted each other.”

“That was before you created a bomb that killed 18 people.” Clint glares.

“Fuck you. I’m telling you I didn’t do it.” Tony straightens up “I don’t need this. I don’t need you, I don’t any of you!” Tony gives one last look to the team who looks down. “I’ll figure it out on my own.” Tony heads for the elevator

“Tony…” Steve says

“Shut up. You’re the worst of all of them. I thought you loved me. I thought you trusted me. I guess I was wrong.” Tony shakes his head and the elevator is about to close but Tony stops it. “You know what? I’m _done_ , Steve. That’s it. I’m done. If you don’t believe me what does that mean for our relationship? I’m _done_.”

“What?” Steve asks taken aback “What do you mean?”

“I’m. Breaking. Up. With. You.” Tony says pointing at Steve.

“What?” Steve asks out of breath “No.”

“Yes. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. You think that it was my fault. I don’t, can’t and won’t be with someone like that. It’s over.”

“Hold on Tony-“ Bruce starts

“No. I won’t. I won’t because I’m done with all of you. Bruce. Steve. I can’t forgive you. I thought you guys were supposed to believe me... but you don’t. I thought we were friends.” He says to Bruce “Lovers.” To Steve “But if you really think I’m capable of _this_. Well, I’m out.”

“Wait, To-“ Steve tries but Tony cuts him off

“NO! I’m done. Pack your things.” Tony presses the button and the door closes.

 

 

“What did we do?” Steve asks panicked “What the hell were we thinking! He wouldn’t do that. We know he wouldn’t. Right?” Slowly the Avengers nod

“How’d he know it was a Stark bomb though?” Clint asks

“His visions. He had one and said that I couldn’t know. This must be what he had the vision of! And now we fucking ruined everything.”

“Fuck.”

“Блядь.” Natasha agrees

“Where is Tony, JARVIS?

“Sir has turned off all his trackable devices and has blocked me out of the car. I am unable to detect where he is going.” JARVIS says painful “While still in the tower he mumbled I need a drink. I am concerned he is going to a bar.”

“What is his favorite bar?”

“It’s on the corner of 42nd street.” JARVIS informs and the Avengers all head for the car.

 

“I’ll have the bottle of strongest drink you have.” The bartender takes one look at Tony and nods. He hands him the bottle and Tony hands him the money plus $50 tip. He gets a nod in return. He heads to the corner of the room and takes a swig.

He orders some greasy nachos and sits down.

In the next 45 minutes he makes a big dent in the bottle and his nachos are done. He gets hit on by a few women but turns them down. He doesn’t know what to do next so he decides to go to a hotel for a few nights. Sleep of the alcohol. He arrives at the hotel books a room for a couple days and drinks until he passes out.

 

“This is the fourth bar we’ve looked at! Where is he?” Steve asks getting into the car

“Maybe he didn’t go for a drink?” Bruce says hopeful “Maybe he just went for food or coffee of something?”

“I don’t know. But what I do know is Tony is somewhere out in the city heartbroken because of us. What if something happens to him?” Steve says panicked.

“Breath, Steve.” Natasha says “We’ll find him. And if we don’t he has to come back to the tower at some point. He can’t stay out forever.”

“but-“

“Relax. JARVIS has Tony used any of his credit cards recently?”

“Sir has recently used his Visa to purchase a hotel room.” They share a look

“What Hotel?” Steve asks

“The Marriott.”

“We should leave him alone.” Bruce says “We know he is safe and sleeping whatever happened off. We should go back to the tower and wait for him in the morning.”

“I agree.” Natasha says

“He would have come back if he wanted too. We should wait for him.” Clint agrees looking at Steve.

“I don’t want to... but it’s probably for the best, right?” They give him a nod and they head back to the tower.

 

Only Tony doesn’t come back in the morning or the next evening. It’s 8 pm and Steve and the team is getting worried.

“Where is he? Why hasn’t he come back?” Steve asks pacing the floor. “We need to find him.”

“He’s probably sleeping of his bender.” Bruce sighs

“Well then he needs us to help him!” Steve shouts

“He doesn’t want us to do anything.” Natasha points out

“If Anthony is in need of assistance I say we help him.” Thor says giving Steve a smile.   
“See! We get his room number and he force him to talk to us.” Steve nods

“Steve, we have to let him come to us.” Clint says

“No, that’s bullshit, he thinks we blame him for what happened. That we hate him! He will never come to us.” Steve slams his fist into the wall denting it. “Crap.” Steve mumble and pats the wall apologetically

“Look, Steve. You need to relax. We know you want to fix this, and yes he won’t come to us, but we need to give him a cool down period.” Natasha puts a calming hand on him

“I’m going. It’s up to you to come with me.” Steve makes his way to the elevator. The other Avengers share a look but follow him.

 

Tony is on his second bottle of scotch in the past two days when he hears a knock at the door. He ignores it, figuring it’s the maid since he has a do not disturb sign on it.

“Tony?” was that Steve. He slowly and quietly pads his way to the peep hole so they don’t hear him. It’s the whole team

“Fuck me.” Tony whispers Tony sighs realizing they heard him, but he walks back to the bed anyway.

“Tony we know you’re in there. Open the door.” Tony just take a sip of his scotch. When he doesn’t answer he hears Natasha call “We have a key.” Tony runs to the door to lock the safety latch but they open the door before he gets there. Steve comes in first who he pushes back, but he only tilts back slightly.

“How’d you get the key?” tony asks sighing in defeat.

“You look like crap.” Clint says ignoring the question and Tony gives him the finger. Tony picks up the bottle and takes another long gulp.

“I don’t want you here. I broke up with you.” Tony says to the group. “I’m evicting you from my tower and my life. That doesn’t mean come to where I am to piss me off more.” Tony takes a sip and Bruce starts talking  
“We wanted to-“

“I’m not done talking.” Tony glares “I don’t care what you have to say. I don’t care if ‘you’re sorry’ or that you thought ‘you were stupid thinking that and realized you were wrong’ it doesn’t matter. I am done.” There is an awkward pause before Steve speaks

“I love you. I don’t want to lose you for our dumb mistake please-“

“You’re missing the point, Rogers.” Steve tries not to flinch “I don’t love you anymore.” Steve’s eye widen and start to get teary

“You don’t mean that.” Steve protests “You love me, I love you. We were gonna get married one day.”

“No. We’re not. Ever. I don’t love you. Not anymore.” Tears fall down Steve’s face

“No, I don’t believe you.”

“That’s not my problem. I don’t love you, I actually hate you. I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to be anything with you, _Rogers._ ”

“Tony-“ Steve protests

“Stark, to you.”

“No. Tony, I don’t believe you.” Tony takes a deep breath

“Maybe I don’t mean it, maybe I do. I’m honestly not sure, but either way I’m telling you that you need to leave.”

Steve opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

“Tony.” Bruce say calmly. “I know you’re mad at us, but let us at least help you get and stay sober. Come back to the tower, you can eat sleep work. Help you feel better instead of being in this spiral of despair.”

“The only way I’m coming back tonight is if you’re all gone. But I’m not so mean to ask all of you to move out so I can go home. I’ll stay here.” Tony says sitting on the bed. “You can leave now.”

“okay.” Bruce says to Tony and the group. “But we love you, and we are sorry. We do need your help to figure out who blew up Madison Square Garden. You’re the only one who can figure out. Maybe-“

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye.” They nod and head out the door. “Oh and I’ll take that key.” He asks sticking his hand out. Steve reluctantly drops it in there and with one long last look he shuts the door. The next thing Tony does is dump the rest of the bottle down the drain and cries himself to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said sorry in advanced didn't i last chapter? Well, don't worry, it all be okay. Anyway thanks for reading.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm making everything okay. Hope you enjoy

Previously: 

Steve reluctantly drops it in there and with one long last look he shuts the door. The next thing Tony does is dump the rest of the bottle down the drain and cries himself to sleep.

 ~

The next morning after Tony has greasy bacon, hash browns and pancakes Tony makes his way to the tower. He looks himself in the mirror when he gets in the elevator and decides he needs a change of a shower, change of clothes and a good brushing of his teeth before anything else happens.

 

He heads to his floor and accomplishes all those things and then reluctantly heads for the common floor. By the time he’s there it’s 11:30.

“What the hell happened to my wall?” He says as he gets out of the elevator.

“Tony?” They ask and literally run to greet him “You came!”

“I’ve been here for over an hour.” He rolls his eyes

“Really?”

Tony nods “My wall?” Tony prompts.

“That… that one’s on me.” Steve says with an apologetic frown. “I’ll pay to fix it.”

“With my money?” Tony shakes his head “Anyway.” Tony says motioning to the couch.

“Do you want to do this later? You probably have a bad hangover.” Clint says and Nat elbows her

“Nope. I want to do this now. I’ve had greasy food, coffee, a shower and change of clothes. I’m ready as I’ll ever be.” Tony nods sitting down. “Plus I wasn’t even that drunk.” Tony shrugs “Now.” Tony takes a deep breath. “I think you guys have some things that needs to be said?”

“We’re really, really, _really_ , sorry. We don’t know what we were thinking. We know you, you wouldn’t have done that. I think it was that you knew before hand it was a Stark bomb, but once you were gone we realized how you knew. So we went looking to apologize. Cause we’re really, really, sorry, and we were really, really, stupid.” Steve rambles and they all look at Tony expectantly. Who sits there for a moment planning what he is going to say.

“I don’t want to say I don’t trust you.” Tony says finally. “Because that’s not the case. I do trust you. With my literal life, which specifies to I don’t think you’ll let me die in a battle.” the team nods “What I don’t trust you with is the personal stuff. If you can’t trust _my_ words, then how am I supposed to trust _yours_?” Tony shrugs. “You know?” they nod “but, I am willing to give you a chance to earn it back.” The team visibly relaxes “But Steve that means we no longer share a bed. A floor even. We don’t kiss. We don’t go one dates. We’re not in a relationship. We are still broken up. Comprehend? I need space from you, to see if and how I want and can continue our relationship.” Steve closes his eyes but nods “Now, you have until we figure out who blew up Madison square garden and get them to earn back my trust. And that’s not easy.”

“Tell us how to fix it.” Steve says

“No, that’s not how this works. You figure it out in your own way. Proclaiming your undying love won’t work either. I know you love me like I still love you. But that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you. There’s so much more to it than that. Until then, I’ll be in my lab trying to find the psychopath who blew up a building use my technology.” Tony stands up “Oh and I want to be clear the main reason I’m giving you a chance is because you need me and I need you to get this guy. So if you don’t do it now, you got no other shot.” With that Tony turns on his heels and heads to his lab.

 

Bruce is the first one to come to him mostly because he and Bruce make a good team. So when Bruce enters Tony’s lab a few hours later Tony doesn’t kick him out.

“Hey, any luck?” Bruce asks

“No.” Tony shakes his head. “This was Stark technology and the only ones who knew how to build this bomb was me and 2 others. And Pepper had access to it, but I ruled her out.”

“Okay so who are these 2 others?”

“John Rigby and Levi Michelson.”

“Where are they now?’

“Levi is dead.” Tony says “So we can cancel him out. John was last heard from in Aruba. He quit to travel the world. So I don’t…” Tony’s voice fades out.

“What? Did you figure it out?”

“Ahh… well… Yeah… maybe. Probably. But I don’t know why he’d blow up The Garden.”

“Who is it?”

“Unless… no… well… nah ah maybe-“

“Tony.” Bruce cuts off Tony

“Oh right. Well… his name is Danny Chompa. He uh well… yeah. Understand?” Tony asks hopeful

“No. You only said his name.” Bruce points out.

“Well, that is a fair point.” Tony nods

“So?” Bruce asks

“Well, he uh we were… um, you know?”

“Dating?” Bruce asks

“Sorta. Not your typical dating scene. Not like… not _that_ type of untypical. It was… he was… complicated. He uh was my uh… look you don’t need to know what he was. What he _is_ , is a psychopath who tried to murder me. That’s what you need to know. What? What’s that look?” Tony asks Bruce whose looking at him  like he's crazy

“Tried to murder you? You’re other ‘friends’ kidnapped you. You have a bad record with friends, Tony.”

“Yeah, and it’s continued to you guys apparently.” Tony shakes his head. “Are you going to help me find him or not?”

“Right, sorry. Which we are sorry. We know you’re not capable of that. We have no idea what we were thinking.”

“Yeah, well, I do. You thought I blew up a building.”

“Not exactly. We thought you knew something. But…” Bruce’s excuse falls short. “We were stupid. And we’re sorry. I’m sorry. And I know nothing I say is going to fix this, but I just want you to know that you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never had a real friend or a science bro who didn’t care about the Other Guy. Treated me like I was a normal human and laughed at the Other Guy. And that means a lot. I really hope one day we can be friends again.” While Bruce is talking Tony tilts his head after a moment he breaks out grinning

“Okay.” Tony nods.

“What?” Bruce asks confused

“We’re good.” Bruce looks at Tony like he has 3 heads “Oh, this can’t leave this room. I trust you guys. Honest, I know you didn’t mean it and I believe that. I just wanted a real not an ‘I don’t what we were thinking’ apology. One from the heart. Like you just did. So congrats, you’re the first winner.” Bruce stares a tony then snorts and shakes his head.

“You have a weird way of doing this.” Bruce laughs

“I’m pissed. I wanted an honest apology. And I wasn’t going to tell you that. You need to figure it out on your own, that’s the best thing you can do. I’d go as far to call it genius. But… good job.”

“Okay. Okay, I won’t tell the others your crazy plan, but can we tell them that we’re good?”

“Yeah, we’re going to rub it in and make them jealous.” Tony grins “Make Steve really pissed.”

“Are you sure-“

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna let him stew for a little bit. But honestly, we’re not broken up. I love him a lot, like I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him. I just need to make him realize what he did wrong. But we can go rub it in now.” Tony grabs Bruce’s hand and drags him to the elevator. “I’ll do some more digging later about where the asshole might be and if he plans on doing it again.” The elevator door closes and Tony drops Bruce’s hand. Once the elevator door opens all of the team is sitting on the couch talking.

“You all should congratulate Brucie. We’re good.”

“What?” They ask Standing up. “Already?” Steve continue

“Yup. Bruce is smart. He did what he should and now we’re good. But you can’t ask him what he did. You have to do it on your own. But I just wanted to let you know it is possible… and maybe rub it in a little.” He nods. “You should have an idea what you plan on doing so…” Tony shrugs. “Anyway, Avengers stuff. I think I may know who the psychopath who blew it up is. And I mean literal psychopath.” Tony nods

“Who? And how do you know he’s a psychopath.”

“Oh I can answer that, his name is Danny Chompa and he tried to kill Tony before we knew him.” Bruce answers for Tony.

“Yeah, so psychopath.”

“What?” Steve asks “Tony-“

“Stark.” Tony cuts him off.

“Anyway.” Steve says with a sigh “Why did he try and kill you? And why isn’t he in jail?”

“He was in a mental hospital but I heard he got out, and why he tried to kill me? That is a story for someone I trust.” Tony give a pointed look “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Oh.” Steve says standing up “We made your favorite.” Surprising Tony.

“Whose idea was it?”

“It was a group idea.” Steve says heading to check on it.

“Who suggested it?” Tony asks

“Steve did.” Natasha cuts off whatever Steve was about to say. “He said it would be a good idea and we agreed.” Tony nods

“Okay. Good to know. When’s it gonna be ready?”

“Probably 20 minutes.”

“Cool.” Tony says plopping on the couch watching whatever’s on. The team nods to Bruce where they all exit the living room

“He’s not gonna say anything.” Tony calls as they exit. Once in the other room Bruce nods

“He’s right. I’m not.” Bruce says apologetically

“What did you do?”

“I can’t tell you. I promised I wouldn’t… what I can tell you is… its easier then it seems.” Bruce nods

“Well, what’d you do?”

“You have to figure it out on your own… which is something I agree with.” Bruce says honestly.

“But-“

“No buts, Steve. I really can’t and don’t want to tell you. It’s not hard.” Steve gives him a skeptical look but nods. They head back into the living room.

“That was so subtly unsubtle.”

“Look,” Steve says sitting down “We want-.”

“No.” Tony cuts him off “I don’t care what you’re going to say.”

“But-“

“Nope.” Tony cuts him off “Look what’s on the TV. A show or something. Let’s find out.”

They sigh and sit back. No one talks until dinners ready.

They eat in uncomfortable silence until Tony and Bruce start talking about ways to track him

“We can do facial recognition-“

“No we can’t.” Tony interrupts

“Why not?”

“I don’t have a current photo of him. It’s been 10 years. Oh my god, it’s been 10 years?” Tony says more to himself “Damn. What the hell is with people coming back into my life like this week?” Tony asks himself. “hmph.”

“Anyway, we can find one, right?”  
“I don’t know, honestly. JARVIS?”

“I am currently running a hack for a photo from the institution he was staying at.”

“Good let me know if you find anything.”

“I will, Sir.”

“Any other ways of finding him?”

“We could alert the police to keep an eye out for him. Natasha or Clint you could give shield a photo… if we find one. I mean we could give them a name. We’re not vigilantes.”

“That might not be a bad idea.” Steve says finishing his plate.

“Yeah, once we know if we have a picture we can decide.” Tony agrees “Dinner was great, I still got some work to do though, so… I’ll see you when I see you.” He makes his way out of the kitchen and tony heads for the stairs. Once he’s in his lab he gets to work on searching for him by name. A few moments later he hears something fall to the floor. He sees the air vent on the ground and he looks up to see Clint making his way down.  
“What the? I hope you plan on putting that back.” Tony shakes his head.

“So I think I figured it out.” Clint says ignoring Tony

“Yeah?” Tony asks

“Well, I may not be a certified genius, but I’m good at reading people and into people’s words. So here I am.” Tony motions for him to go “I hope this works, but… I’m sorry. Really. Sometimes I get caught up in the facts, I forget to listen to the people. To you. It’s obvious you wouldn’t kill those people. Blow up a building. At all. Before when you made weapons, you… tried…, not your fault, to only sell to Americans. And then you stopped building weapons completely for so many noble reasons. So I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn’t blow up Madison Square Garden. I believe you that someone stole your technology. And I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you earlier that is was too pig headed to even try.” Tony listens with a small smile on his face.  
“Maybe you are not as dumb as I thought.” Tony says with a grin “Congrats, you’re the second winner.”

“I knew it.” Clint does a fist pump “And I did mean what I said.” Tony nods “So what’s the story, why are you doing this?”

“I honestly trust you guys. I know and believe it when you say you didn’t mean it. But what I wanted was a no excuse ‘I don’t know what we were thinking’ apology. Bruce said it, not even realizing that he was going to be forgiven. That’s what I wanted. Not an apology to make me forgive you, an apology that just needs to be said. An explanation yeah, or a why you like me, that’s what Bruce did. One saying that I still want to be with you, even if you say we can’t. You know?” Tony explain and Clint nods

“That actually makes sense.” Clint nods

“That’s why Bruce didn’t want to tell you. He thought it was reasonable. And that’s why I don’t want you to explain. I want them to figure it out on their own. You can so rub it in to the others to talk about it with Bruce. But I just wanted an apology. That’s not a lot to ask.”

“No, I guess it isn’t.” Clint nods.

“So thank you, for that. We’re good now.”

“You’re welcome. And thanks.” Clint heads for the stairs

“My vent?” Tony asks and Clint laughs

“Get your one of you robots to do it.” Tony grumbles as Clint exits the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Next chapter is done so if I don't post it later, it will be posted tomorrow night. I'm so psyched because me and my friend Casey are seeing Allegiant tomorrow, but that might mean no update... i'll try for later.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter, it's short... but it's how it needed to go. Hope you enjoy

Previously:

“My vent?” Tony asks and Clint laughs

“Get your one of you robots to do it.” Tony grumbles as Clint exits the room.

~ 

The next morning Thor is knocking at his door. He rolls over grumbling

“Anthony, friend. I come with breakfast.” Thor opens the door. Tony sits up

“Did you cook?” Tony asks hesitantly

“No, Bruce has been very kind and helped me make you bacon and French toast.”

“Oh, good. I mean, I’m sure you can cook, but-“

“No need to explain. I’m afraid I am not very good in the kitchen.”

“That’s okay big buy, I’m not great either.”

“I have come not only to give you breakfast but to apologize for my actions. I never truly believed you would do such a thing, but I apologize for not sharing my thoughts and defending you. You are a great warrior and great friend and it would be such a shame to lose you.”

“Thank you, big guy.” Tony gives him a smile. “We’re good. I forgive you.”

“I had thought…?”

“All I wanted from you guys was an apology. Like you just did. So congrats you are the 3rd to figure it out. We are still friends, Thor and i still trust you. Thank you for the apology. I would like to keep how you were forgiven to you me Bruce and Clint. You can talk to them, but if you could not mention this to Natasha and Steve, it would be greatly appreciated.” Tony grins and Thor smiles.  
“I will, friend. And If I had known it would be this easy, I wouldn’t have fretted so much. I am glad we are friends. Thank you, Anthony for forgiving me.”

“You’re welcome.” Tony gives Thor a smile. “Now, I’m gonna eat my French toast and bacon.” Thor smiles and leaves Tony to eat.

 ~

 

“How?” Steve asks Clint Bruce and Thor shocked.  
“it involves having a conversation with the man, Steve.” Clint shakes his head.

“But he doesn’t want-“

“Oh Steve, we can’t tell you.” Bruce shakes his head.

“But that… I don’t understand.” Steve sighs

“Steve, if they’re saying it involves talking to him, then all we have to do is-“Natasha says and Steve cuts him off

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, every time I see him he walks the other way.”

“he’s waiting for you to-“

“We can’t tell him, Clint. He needs to figure it out.” Bruce cuts him off.

“I feel bad for the man.” Clint says to Bruce

“I am right here.” Steve says to the men.

“We know, it’s just… you’re gonna have to figure it out. And if you don’t do it soon, it may never work. We’re getting closer to finding him, and you heard what he said.”

“I don’t know.” Steve says looking down The rest of the team just share a look.

 

Bruce comes and tries to figure how to track Danny but come up empty handed. They decided to inform Shield and the police, because they’re all working together on this. It isn’t until the next afternoon that anyone seeks him out. And this time it’s Natasha.

“Hey.” Natasha says sitting on the couch.

“Hi.” Tony says continuing his work.

“Can we talk?” Natasha says after a moment.

“Once sec.” He takes a few minutes to finish his wiring and then he goes and sits down. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know how everyone is figuring this out so easily, but I figured apologizing is a good start.” Natasha takes a deep breath. “I am really really sorry. We were so stupid. I don’t know how we even slightly thought you could have been the one to blow up a building. Like what the hell were we smoking that made us think that?”

“Smoke from the fire?” Tony supplies.

“Maybe, that’s just an excuse... We were wrong. I was so wrong. And I’m sorry. I will make it up to you.” Tony slowly nods and then smiles

“Congrats. You’re a winner.” Tony smiles standing up

“What?” Natasha asks following his lead.

“All I wanted was a no excuse from the heart apology. That’s it. And that’s exactly what you did. Not a ‘this will make it all better’, apology an I don’t think this will work, but I need to say it. You need to know. That’s it. Bruce got it by accident and then Clint I think figured it out, but still then Thor made me breakfast, bonus points and now you. The only one left is…”

“The one that means the most.” Natasha fills in.

“Yeah. But, we’re okay. So… don’t tell Steve how it works alright? He needs to figure it out on his own.”

“I won’t. He’s really distraught over losing you, though.”  
“I am too. But I’m not talking to him until I get an apology. He’s literally avoiding me.”

“He said that about you.”

“Well, that’s true. I am avoiding him, he has to come to me.”

“I know. We tried to tell him he has to actually have a conversation with you for you to forgive him, but he didn’t seem to understand how far an apology can go.”

“Yeah… but hopefully he’ll come to his senses and come to me. I miss him. So much. My bed is so cold without him.” Tony mumbles to himself.

“I’m sorry, I can-“

“No. He has to figure it out. If our relationship is going to work, he needs to know how to apologize from the heart.”

“I won’t tell him. For both your sake, though, I hope he figures it out soon.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Well, I think we’re ordering pizza soon. Are you going to join?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe you could save me a couple pieces?”

“Sure.” Natasha turns and exits the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed also. i'm making you wait for Steve until tomorrow. sorry


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys we're at chapter 31! can you believe that? So my Spanish is just from google translate so it may not be completely accurate, but i put in the translations in the text. Anyway hope you enjoy yet another update!

Previously: 

“Sure.” Natasha turns and exits the room.

 ~

The next afternoon everyone, besides Steve (Who is in the gym) is in the common floor hanging out.

Tony suppresses a snort, but can’t stop himself from rolling his

“What?” Clint asks “You think you could have done better?”

“Absolutely not. But it wasn’t me who made a complete ass out of himself.” Tony says and Bruce and Natasha laugh

“I totally deny that.” Clint protests “It was not completely.” Clint shakes his head “Nat fucked up too.”

“Not as bad as you! You were way worse.”

“Oh, like you never fucked up a project like that?” Clint asks

“Um no.” Tony pauses “Well… that’s not entirely accurate.” Tony admits

“Tell us what did genius Tony stark fuck up in college?”

“Okay, to be fair, my partners were stupid.” Tony say and they shake there “Okay, so FYI this was a required class at MIT that I had no control over going to, alright.” Tony takes a deep breath “Well, the project was we had to make a video of sites all around the city, right? With all the lovable parts and quirks. So I was 15 right, first Semester there and they had an idea how to do it. I didn’t want to be the one who was like ‘my way or no way’ that part of my came later.” They laugh “So we go into the city with the borrowed camera right? Well we are almost done getting video of us talking and uh what was his name… Daryl I think he drops the camera.” Tony shakes his head “Broke right on the spot. But he didn’t drop it from a normal height, right? No no of course not. we were on a rooftop of a good damn building 20 floors up. He was supposed to get a nice skyline view. Yeah didn’t happen. So after he turns to us with the camera not in his hand we run to the street, and it’s in 1000 piece. Like nothing to salvage I couldn’t even fix it. So we look at Cindy who was in charge or downloading are videos and were like ‘you got everything from the past 3 weeks of filming saved right?’ And I’m not kidding she goes ‘uuhh well… thing is… yeah uh no. no nothing. We’re totally fucked.’ I swear the project was due in 2 days, we had no camera no footage so I did the only logical thing. Go to Walmart and buy a camera. It was now night and we scrapped together the world worst video of the city. Like terrible.” Tony laughs “I swear if I hadn’t bought her the nice replaced camera we would have failed. Instead we got D-. So I take that as a win.” The team is cracking up. “But, that wasn’t _my_ fault. What happened to Clint… well, that was way worse.” Natasha nods and we all laugh

“What about you Bruce, fuck up anything majorly?” Clint ask and then pauses. Tony breaks out laughing at the awkward moment.

“Oh my god.” Tony says between laughs. Bruce gives Tony a look. “The look on all your faces. Like ‘oh shit I brought up that’” Tony throws his head back “Guys, he’s just a fucking person.” Tony says wiping a tear. “Well, 99% of the time. When he’s not a giant green rage monst…” Tony can’t even finish because he’s laughing to hard.

“Look at this idiot!” Clint says and they break out laughing including Bruce.

“I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard…” Clint says “or seen Tony laugh so hard. I feel like he’s gonna kneel over and suffocate.” That just makes Tony laugh more

“Dude! I laugh all the time.” Tony says “At you.” Tony laughs along with Natasha Thor and Bruce.

“I’ve never seen you this happy.” Bruce comments. Tony stops laughing and takes a deep breath

“What can I say I love embarrassing stories.” Tony wipes his eye “You guys gotta stop treating Bruce like he’s made of glass. He’s fucking awesome when you let him relax… not like hulk relax like science relax… you get my point.” Tony takes a deep breath and sighs “I wish Steve were here.” The group quiets down after that.

“yeah.” They agree “I’m sure he had some embarrassing stories to tell.” Unbeknownst to the group Steve comes up the stairs and stops when he hears Tony speak.

“Did you guys know we had the marriage and kid talk the other day?” Tony asks

“No.” They shake their head “How’d it go?”

“We both someday… like future like future, future want to get married.” Tony smiles softly.

“And you still want to?” Bruce asks softly

“Yeah, I love him with everything I have.” Tony says honestly the team gives him a soft smile and Steve covers his mouth to prevent from making a sound

“He’ll figure it out Tony.” Tony gives a small nod

“What about kids?” Bruce asks

“He wants them, someday.” Tony sighs

“I’m guessing you don’t?” Clint picks up

“No. I don’t. After growing up with my dad, with Howard.” Tony sighs “What if I’m like him? What if I’m a terrible father? I can’t do that.” Tony shakes his head

“Oh, you won’t be, Tony.” Bruce says softly Steve frowns and wants to go tell him otherwise but he stays where he is trying to keep it together

“But I’m so like him now.” Tony sighs “You guys don’t get it. I work crazy hours, I’m an alcoholic, and I’m obsessed with my projects. I can’t sleep a fucking night without bad dreams or a panic attack. I can’t do it.” Tony sighs again “And Steve really wants them and I don’t want to be the one who stops him from having kids because I don’t trust myself.” Tony puts his head in his hands “maybe it’ll just be for the best if we stay apart.” Steve’s heart falls

“NO!” They all shout.

“You guys are so perfect together.” Bruce says softly “Steve would rather have you then have kids.”

“I don’t believe you.” Tony mumbles  
“But it’s true.” Steve says coming out from behind the wall. “I’m uh sorry for eavesdropping… I started to hear… and then I, that’s not the point, Tony. I love you so much. So much. I would do anything for you. And if you don’t want kids we don’t have to have kids. I’d rather you and no kids then maybe someone else and maybe kids. I love you.” Steve sighs “And I don’t know how everyone is gaining your trust back so easy. I don’t get it. But I love you, and I’m so, so, sorry. I can’t believe we even began to think that, _I_ was even questioning it myself. Because I know you. I know you wouldn’t do that. The second you left I was freaking out. That I fucked everything up. I didn’t mean it. You are a hero, not a terrorist. You saved Manhattan Tony. A damn _hero._ You’re the best person I know. The most caring and loving and… and you’re everything to me. Everything. And I’m so, so, sorry I fucked that up. I will never forgive myself for what I said and for losing you. You’re my everything. And I hope one day-“

“Shut up.” Tony cuts him off and runs to him and kisses him. The kiss lasts forever and it’s everything both of them have been craving. When they break apart it’s too soon. “I love you too.” Tony laughs smiling. The Avengers in the back laugh and cheer. And Steve just smiles not blushing. Tony grins.

“Took you long enough!” Clint laughs.

“What?” Steve asks

“You’re an idiot.” Tony grabs Steve and starts kissing him again. Once they pull back a second time Tony explains.

“I just wanted a damn apology. I still trust you. I always have always will.” Tony explains shortly “You thought I was gonna let you go?” Tony snorts “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you so much. There was no way in hell I was letting you walk out that door.”

“Good, because there was no way I was leaving.” They walk over to the couch hand in hand and sit next to each other.

“So, how much of that did you hear?” Tony asks wondering.

“From marriage and on.” Steve says honestly and Tony shrugs

“I meant ever word.”

“I know. Me too. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you so damn much.” Steve and Tony snuggle closer and the other Avengers smile

"So, tell me an embarrassing story." Tony asks 

"What? Why?"

"Because they're awesome to laugh at. Plus you owe me one." Steve sighs.

 

"Oh okay. I was a scrawny child, as you already know. But I was in Gym class and we had to run a mile. I could barely do that. But I was finally at the end out of breath and I tripped. I fell flat on my face. But that’s not the embarrassing part. The embarrassing part is when I fell, I took down 3 other people. 3 girls. 3 of the most popular girls in the grade.” The team laughs and Steve shakes his head “I was mortified. I was still out of breath so the apology wouldn’t even come out right. I was just stuttering. Gosh it was terrible. I was so embarrassed. My not so close friend at the time helped me up and got everyone to shut up.” Steve shakes his head

“Well, at least you had someone to help you up.” Tony laughs “I’ve got Gym class stories and I didn’t have a friend to help me up. I think maybe because I was 13 and they were all 17.”

“Aw… Tony.” Steve says

“Dude, I don’t care. I was smarter then everyone there so they were jealous. I survived.”

“Hey, hey.” Clint sings with a laugh

“High school kinda sucked… mostly because I was 13 and 14 while everyone else was 16 17 18. Also I was very socially awkward.”

“You socially awkward?” Clint asks “You literally were the life of every party I’ve ever seen.”

“You think I started out that way? Try going to an MIT party at 15 when everyone is over 18. Not the life of the party. When I got to 19 I started that. I was old enough for people to start respecting me.”

“That is a fair point.” Nat admits.

“So what’s for dinero?” Clint asks

“That means money.” Bruce points out

“Really? Then what’s dinner?” Clint asks

“Cena.” Bruce replies

“Huh.”

“How do you say Bruce is a know it all?” Tony says with a laugh He shrugs.

 “Anyway.” Steve cuts Tony off who rolls his eyes. “Dinner. What are we having?”

“Chinese.”

“We have had take-out so much.” Tony rolls his eyes  
“What do you suggest?”

“Well, I know this great restaurant we could eat at. I get free food.” Tony says with a grin

“Why? Because you’re Tony Stark?” Clint ask with a laugh

“No, because they were going to close up shop because they had a fire and couldn’t afford to pay to fix it, so I offered to pay because it was one of my favorite places to eat as a kid. So they agreed but they would pay me back with free food.” Tony says with a smile.

“Really? That’s so great. We’re going there.” Steve decides.

“What kind of food is it?” Clint asks

“It’s just a diner.” Tony shrugs but can’t help but smile.

“Alright, let’s go.” Bruce decides and stands up.

 

They all pile in and head to the diner.

“Okay, so… You’re not allowed to use anything against me, okay?” Tony says

“What? What we would happen that we could use against you?” Steve asks curious.

“Come on.” The enter the door and an old woman probably 60 years old looks up

“Tony Stark!” A Spanish woman calls a walks around for a hug

“Hi, Amelia.” Tony says giving her a hug.

“hola mi amigo su estado un rato.” (hello, my friend, its been a while)

“Si si como estas?” (yes, yes, how are you?) The Avengers give Tony a curios look.

“Maravillosa ahora. Y tu?” (Wonderful now, and you?)

“Mejor de lo que estaba.” (better than it was) Tony smiles

“Buena, Buena, mesa para seis?” (good, good, table for 6)

“Si, gracias,” (yes, thank you.)

“Right this way.” She grabs the menus and lead them to a empty table

“Gracias, Amelia.” Tony smiles

“Yes, gracias.” They all chime in.

“Any friend of Tony is friend of mine.” Tony smiles as she leaves

“Tony, you speak Spanish?” Bruce asks

“Well, yeah… not great but I’m pretty good.”

“Since when?” Steve asks

“Well, she taught me some when I was little, but then when I was 19 I would come here a lot, so she would teach me some. I practiced when I wasn’t with her so I could surprise her.”

“So you do know how to say Bruce is a know it all?” Clint asks with a laugh

“Bruce es un sabelotodo.” He says with a grin.

“Wow.” Steve says “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It never came up.”

“Can you speak any other languges?”

“I dabbled in French.”

“Say something in French.” Steve says

“I don’t know enough.” Tony shrugs.  
“Okay well say something in Spanish then.” Tony thinks for a minute then smiles.

“Eres el major hombre ques he concoide. Te quiero mucho. Un dia, _un dia_ me prometo que vamos a casar. Porque te amo maldito demasiado.” Tony says with a teary smile. (You are the best man I have ever met. I love you so much. One day, _one day_ I promise we are going to get married. Because I love you so damn much.)

“What did you say?” Steve asks softly

“I just made myself a promise.”

“That’s my boy!” Amelia calls from the other side of the room. “I will hold you to that!” Tony laughs

“I would hope so.” Tony calls.

“So, Tony, what do you recommend?”

“Hangover burger and fries.”

“Sounds good to me.” Clint says as Amelia comes over and they order.

 

Once they order Clint calls to Amelia.

"Tell us about Tony when he was a kid."

"Oh my, he was quiet. So different then he is now. he's loud man now. Before when he was new to the company he would come in here and we would talk. He was very overwhelmed. He liked to have a milkshake while he worked. he was very busy though, so i knew whenever he came in he was having a rough day." Amelia smiles "I always asked him how he could run a company like that at 19. And he always told me it doesn't matter your age you got to do what you got to do. Soon he grew more familiar with the company and CEO title. At first I was so concerned. But he caught that hang of it." The team smiles "When he was a boy probably 7 or 8 he would walk here with him allowance and buy him self a shake and fries to eat while he was doing homework. The first day he asked me how much it would cost and i said how much do you have. He had $4. I told him that was the exact amount. He was so happy. So most days he would come in here with a $5 bill and do homework. I never had the heart to tell him that a fries and shake cost $8." They laugh but Tony pauses.

"What?" Tony asks "Say what now?" They turn to him

"My boy, you were so happy. What is a few dollars?"

 "You never knew?" Steve asks

"No I always thought... really?"

"Si. But that smile you had on your face was payment enough."

"Aww." They all say.

"I believe your food is ready. You come again and get more stories."

"we will have too." Bruce smiles as she leaves to get there food.

 

Once eating they all grin.

"Man, this place is great!" Clint exclaims.

"I told you." Tony smiles as they eat.

 

As they are leaving Tony leaves a very nice tip and Steve pulls Amelia to the side.  
“what did Tony say?” Steve asks

“He said he loves you very much and he made a very serious promise. One I cannot tell you. But you are a lucky man. He is quite the catch.”

“I know. He’s great. He is the best person I’ve ever met.”

“He says the same about you.” Amelia gives him a smile “Be good to him.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Muy bien. Now go, they are waiting for you.”

“It was very nice to meet you.”

“You too. Come back with him, he hasn’t been here in too long.”

“I will.” Steve smiles and exits the diner.

“What’d you ask her?” Tony says walking up to Steve.  
“What you said.” Steve says honestly

“What’d she say?” he says nervously

“That you love me and that you made a promise. She wouldn’t tell me what about though.”

“Good, that’s good.” Tony smiles. “I do love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” Tony kisses him. They then get in the car and go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The project thing actually happened to me in college. We had to pool our own money for the camera though. And i don't know why i made Tony speak Spanish, but i wanted to add the secret promise in. and i hope i made everything okay with everyone in your eyes. I didn't want the fight to last so i made tony super forgiving even though i know like no one in real life is. but i hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's super short, but i wanted to get something out today before i go to bed. I find this chapter totally adorable. Hope you enjoy.

Previously :

“Good, that’s good.” Tony smiles. “I do love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” Tony kisses him. They then get in the car and go home.

 

That night Tony and Steve go to bed in the same bed and they snuggle close together. It’s not long before they both fall asleep. Like usual around 4 am Tony wakes from a night mare

 

He’s sitting up in bed trying to catch his breath.  He looks over to the peaceful sleeping Steve and is about to get up when he decides against it.

“Steve.” He pushes Steve’s shoulder “Steve wake up.” Steve mumbles and sits up slowly

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream.” Tony whispers Steve wraps his arms around him protectively

“You’re safe, with me Tony. Everything is alright.”

“I know.” Tony says softly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Steve asks softly.

“Not really.” Tony answers

“Do you want to get up?” Steve asks “We can go downstairs.”

“No. I want you to scare the dreams away.” Tony curls up against Steve

“I will.” Steve hugs him protectively. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Tony nods and snuggles up to Steve and they soon drift back off to sleep.

 

Steve’s slowly opens his eyes at 6 am to see a sleeping Tony on his arm. Steve smiles and laughs

“What? Are you laughing at me? Do I sleep weird?” Tony mumbles

“No you sleep adorably. I’m just happily surprised to wake up next to you. I’ve wanted this for so long.” Tony snuggles closer

“I decided to give it a shot.”

“And?”

“If you don’t mind me waking you up every night I think it might just work.”

“I don’t mind. I promised didn’t I?” Tony nods "I'm so proud of you." Steve smiles and Tony rolls his eyes

“Yeah, yeah, yeah... but we’re not getting up at 6 every freaking morning.” Steve gives a soft smile at ‘freaking’ “We’re sleeping in until at least 9. So change your biological clock to tell you that. M’kay?”

“I’ll try. Are we getting up now?”

“No. We’re staying in bed until I say so.”

“Are we?”

“Yup.” Tony snuggle closer.

“Okay.” Steve pulls Tony closer as he laughs

“I love you.” Steve mumbles “I just love saying it. it’ll never sound old in my mouth. I love you.” Tony reaches up and kisses Steve.

“I love you.” Tony mumbles. “I love you… Yeah I could say it all day.” Steve deepens the kiss “Do you feel like…” Tony sighs “Like this is as happy as we’re ever going to be? Like, it has to go down hill at some point right? Like I’m going to have a vision, something bad is going to happen or-“ Steve kisses Tony cutting him off “What?”

“Let’s just enjoy the moment. We can worry later.” Tony sighs but nods.

“I love you.” Tony smiles and Steve laughs

“I love you too.”

For a few hours Tony and Steve lay in bed telling each other how much they love each other and kissing each other lazily

 

“we should get up.” Steve looks at the clock. “It’s almost 11.”

“No. I say when we get up. It’s not now.”

“But I’m hungry.” Steve whines

“Aw Is my little super soldier complaining?” Steve laughs and nods with his puppy  dog eyes. “Well too bad.”

“Come on Tones, lets just get breakfast.” Tony leans back

“What?”

“huh…? Let’s get breakfast…” Steve says “What’s that look?”

“You called me Tones.” Tony says tilting his head.

“um… yeah, is that a big deal?”

“Well… yeah. Kinda.” Tony nods

“Okay… well is it okay?” Steve asks Tony thinks but then nods

“Yeah. Stevie.” He says with a grin and Steve laughs “We need code names.” Tony decides

“We have them. Iron man, captain America. Remember?” Tony rolls his eyes.

“Not superhero names. Like nicknames. Like I don’t know like sweetie and honey. We need to start doing that.” Steve rolls his eyes

“Really?”

“You’ll be sweetie.” Tony decides and Steve laughs

“Why can’t you be sweetie?”

“Because I’m a honey.” Tony says with a laugh “Don’t question it, Sweetie.”

“Well I think we should use both. Whatever one of us feels like calling the other, _Hun_.” Tony looks at him with a  shocked face that turns into a grin

“Whatever you think, pumpkin.” He says with a raised eyebrow

“Oh this is gonna be a thing now?” Steve asks with a laugh.

“Yeah, it is. Be prepared to be bombarded with adorable nicknames _, muffin_.”

“it’s on, _babe_.” Steve says with a grin.

“Let’s go get breakfast, hot stuff.” Steve laughs and helps Tony out of bed. “This is gonna be fun.” Tony laughs and they head down to the kitchen hand in hand.

“Wow, you guys took for ever to get up.” Natasha says with a laugh

“Blame buttercup over there.” Steve says pointing to Tony who is at the coffee machine. They give him a confused look

“It is buttercups fault but, smooches over there wasn’t fighting very hard.”

"What  is going on?" Clint asks

“What is with the nicknames?” Bruce asks

“It’s our thing right now, right tootsie pop?” Tony asks

“Well, sugar puff wanted to us to have nicknames but somehow we turned it into a thing.” The team nods but laughs

“Yup. That is correct. And I am going to win.” Tony declares

“It’s a contest now?” Steve asks

“Yes, my peanut it is.”

“Okay, sweat pea, it’s on.”

“Breaking out the sweat pea are we? Okay cookie.”

“You guys are weird.” Clint shakes his head. "I feel like i'm gonna get covered in sweetness." Clint makes a gag face

“Oh bun bun are you jealous.”

“I’m bun bun!” Steve says outraged

“Yes, you are.” Natasha says and they laugh

“How long can this last?”

“What do you think baby cake? A week?”

“I can go longer.” Steve says more sexual then he meant.

“This just turned really sexual. Stop it.”

“Just saying, I have many nicknames.”

“So do I.”

“Oh god.” Clint shakes his head. “This is gonna be terrible.”

“This is going to be awesome!” Tony laughs and Steve nods in agreement.

“So what’s for breakfast?” Tony asks

“We ate like 2 hours ago. Find something.” Natasha says

“find something” Tony grumbles “Pancake, will you make me pancakes?” Tony says with his puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah, fruit loop.” Steve nods and heads for the dry ingredients.

“Thank you.” Tony smiles

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Steve starts making the batter.

“I love you.” Tony smiles

“I love you too.” Steve grins.

“This is gonna be a long week.” Clint mumbles and the others agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have a longer chapter out tomorrow.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i know i said i'd have a long chapter 6 days ago but just bare with me. Also i Just rewatched Iron Man 2, apparently Tony speaks some Spanish in it, so I didn't totally make that up. Maybe some part of my brain remembered, whatever the case I just thought that was ineteresting

Previously:

“I love you.” Tony smiles

“I love you too.” Steve grins.

“This is gonna be a long week.” Clint mumbles and the others agree.

~

“Cupcake?” Tony calls Steve coming up from the lab.

“Yes, Dew drop?”

“Dew drop?” Tony asks

“yes, dew drop.” Steve nods “What?”

“What’s for dinner?”

“Chicken and fries.”

“Okay. Thanks, sugar. Brucie, I need to talk to you. Lab now.”

“I’m making-“ Tony garbs Bruce’s arm and pulls him away. “My sandwhich.” Bruce sighs as he follows Tony

“Don’t worry Bruce, I totally won’t eat it.” Clint calls and Bruce sighs.

Once in the lab Tony lets him go and starts pacing.  
“What do I do?” Tony asks

“Okay, I’m gonna need more detail before I can give you advice.”

“it’s about Steve.” Tony sighs sitting down

“Oh, is this about the promise to marry him in Spanish?” Tony turns to Bruce with a slacked jaw. “Hey, don’t look so shocked. I do speak Spanish fairly well.” Tony nods

“Oh… yeah that’s true anyway, the problem is I want to marry him _now_. I don’t want to wait.”

“That’s great, Tony.”  
“Yeah, but that’s not the problem.”

“What is?”

“I want to propose. But like… awesomely. And I have no idea how.”

“ahh, I see. Well what are your ideas?”

“I don’t have any. I want it to be something smallish, but special. Something really special and original. And great. And I want all of you involved.” Tony is smiling widely and has a sparkle in his eyes. “I need ideas some. And you are the best friend I know. I need your help to get an idea before we ask everyone else.”

“well, I’m honored you asked me to help... and I think getting everyone in on it is a great idea. Maybe they have some ideas if we don’t think of any.”

“Okay, but we think first.” Tony nods.

“Well, what if you just had a nice dinner and we were all there?”

“No, that’s to unoriginal.”

“Okay, what if we made a sign and-“  
“No, I want something not in public.”

“You don’t want it public?”

“No, because I know how Steve it with all of it, I want it semi-private. With seemingly ‘random’ actually chosen’s people, agents maybe, who won’t say anything if we do it in public.”

“Okay, well that makes sense. What if you went dancing?”

“I can’t dance.”

“Learn.”

“I will but for the wedding.”

“Okay.” Bruce thinks “What about-“

“Shut up!” Tony shouts with a smile. “I figured it out!” Bruce smiles

“What is it?”

“Okay, what we’re going to do is…” Tony explains the plan in great detail and Bruce can’t stop smiling loving the idea “Okay? So we need to let the others know. So I’ll talk to them slowly. Oh this is gonna be great.”

“That is so amazing Tony! I’m so happy for you guys.”

“He hasn’t said yes, you know.” Tony points out.

“He will. I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah… Okay, well let’s go and start planning it, and I’ll talk to the others later.” Tony nods as Bruce and Tony start planning.

  

Meanwhile

 

“I want to marry Tony.” Steve smiles at Natasha Clint and Thor. “I want to propose.” Steve clarifies.

“That’s great!” Natasha says and Clint and Thor agree

“When?” Clint asks taking a bite of Bruce's sandwich

“As soon as possible. Like this weekend. Or next… do you think that’s too soon to be ready? Maybe the weekend after. I want to plan it, and I want all of you involved. Like I want a nice dinner and then I propose. Does that sound nice? Maybe I cook for him and then we eat and then you guys come in and we have desert. What do you think?” Steve says rambling.

“I think it’s nice. I think Tony will love it.” Clint says. “We can talk to Bruce and get it all planned. We can think of some nice special ideas.”

“That’s a good idea. Let’s call him up.” Steve smiles “JARVIS, can you call Bruce up here?”

“I will, Captain Rogers.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” A few minutes later Bruce walks up the stairs keeping the smile from his face.

“What’s up.”

“I want to propose to Tony.” Steve says

“You’re kidding?” Bruce laughs and Steve’s face falls

“You don’t think I should?” Steve asks

“Oh no! No, you absoultly should. I just…” Bruce shuts his mouth “never mind. When do you want to do it?”

“This weekend or next.”  
“Next.” Bruce says with a smile. “More time to get ready. It’s already Tuesday and there is no rush.”

“Good, I was thinking that too. I’m gonna go look for ideas maybe yuou all could brainstorm too.”

“Sure.” They all agree and steve  leaves.

“What was the 'you’re kidding' all about?” Natasha asks

“Well… Tony just asked me to help him propose like 5 minutes ago.”

“Wow.”

“Well, I knew it was coming.” Natasha smiles

“How?” Clint asks

“Oh, what Tony said in spanish. It was a promise to marry him.” Bruce fills in.

“So are we gonna totally make this the best proposals or what?” Clint asks

“We are. I actually have some ideas.” Bruce smiles “We can use it for the greater good. The perfect double proposal.”

“Oh, this is going to be great.” Clint says and they all agree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i'm taking proposal ideas!  
> I have one in mind, but i want to see what you guys come up with!  
> Just comment it and if i choose yours i'll give you a shout out! Can't wait to hear them!


End file.
